�i got someone� i used to say
because i was thinking
�why would i want a relationship with you
when i have someone who cares?�
so now you�re known to have this great person
that you always bring up
no matter what the subject was supposed to be about
but more than once
i�ve ended up just completely being quiet
because this time
i don�t wanna tell them what our conversation was last night
i don�t wanna tell them what she said
because this time
what she said hurts
hurts me inside
to the point of tears
the point of tears is a painful place
i just want to find somebody who i can have feelings for
without completely ruining my mornings and nights
ruining them with the thought of those 2 or 3 or 7 little words
completely fucking up my week, my month
or my vacation getaway
because maybe for my vacation
i was gonna stay home
to be with you
while the rest of my family goes
through my mind
you are always there
even now
after all my pain
but i don�t want this to end up like my past pains
where i completely put my feelings, emotions, and thoughts
outside
in the rain
to let them sit
if somebody is going to put my feelings aside
its gonna be me
but now with any thought
that used to be of you
is a void of my feelings that are there
but arent coming back
not to me
they werent meant for me
they were meant for you
but you don�t need them
so they�re just there
for nobody
who would want them
one way feelings
that some hopeful idiot gave out
with no reply to them in sight
all my sight sees is a blur
the blur of the world through tears
tears of my own
not from another
but from myself
because of another
and her unknown
(i finally have a broken heart)
- Chris
17 December 2002