So here I am
Once again
Thinking of things unthought
New realizations of the past
New ideas of the future
But what about now
Carpe Diem, right?
How come I can�t do that
It always seems that whatever�s happening
I�ve never even thought to think of
I had never planned on what to do
I might do something worth remembering
But then again, I might do something memorable
How nice would that be
To have something in your life trigger that memory
And laugh, or smile
I think I need some of those
Most of my memories make me sit in quiet
. . . �Hey, you alright?�
�Yea, I was just . . . thinking�
Thinking of the future
But mostly the past
Taking in everything as it�s happening seems like it would be so easy
Well, I�ve always been known to do shit the hard way
Life is so difficult
Maybe it�s just me
It almost seems like I have to thinking about the past or the future
And leave the present alone
Because when I think about the now
I get stuck in a dimension where being frozen is normal
I thought that, at least, was better than nothing
But afterwards, I can�t think of anything but before
I hate replaying my past
I�m always thinking of this
When I could be thinking of that
I shouldn�t be thinking of this whole event to begin with
I think
I think . . . I think too much
Christopher Vantress
January 31, 2004