Alexis: Am I wearing black?

Luke: No

Alexis: Do I have a goatee?

Luke: (looks closely) No

Alexis: Have you ever heard me use the words "heretofore", "consequently", and "notwithstanding"?

Luke: I don't think so.

Alexis: Well, then, what would possibly induce you to think that I would be Stefan's stand-in for anything?

Alexis: As delightful as chatting with the enemy may be, is there a point to your being here?

Luke: Your animal magnetism.

Luke: And I think I once told you that Laura has ruined me for ordinary women.

Alexis: What makes you think I am ordinary.

Luke: Just testing your relexes.

Luke: Now are you a drinking woman? This is a real good time to start.

Luke:  Remember who loves you, baby!

Alexis:  Go to hell.  

Luke:  She likes me.

Luke: What are you looking at?

Alexis: Doesn't anyone ever just Look at you?

Luke: No. Stop It

Luke: (laying on the couch under a blanket, remnants of junk food surrounding him) Good evening, Hot Lips. Kill anyone while I was gone?

Luke: It's only the bellman, Natasha.

Alexis: It's Ned! he fools me sometimes. He likes to do that.

Luke: Oh, yeah, and who are you- Fifi the chambermaid?

Alexis: Is this strictly business? Or did you want Ned Ashton out of town to distance us from each other?

Stefan: (slightly surprised but amused) Obviously, I precipitated the situation that sent Ashton out of town. (feigning innocence) I had no idea! Who long have you been serious about him?

Stefan: We are no longer children playing by the sea. We don't take turns in our little wooden dinghy. In this world, Alexis, I navigate, you row.

Stefan: When he returns, I'd prefer you have nothing to do with him.

Alexis: (angry) Why? (a pause) It's not like you to interfere in my personal life.

Stefan: (coldly) Haven't you noticed? Things change.

Stefan: We come from a truly hidious family

Alexis: (smiling) It could be worse, we could be Spencers.

Stefan: "Slinging hash"?

Alexis: It's another Americanism. I'm afraid I'm subject to them occassionally, too. (takes a breath) Do you think if we stay here long enough the whole clan'll be corrupted?

Stefan: (sternly) I don't find that idea remotely amusing.

Alexis: Now, be off!! Before someone drops a house on you, too.

Alexis: Are you jealous, Katherine?

Katherine: Of what?

Alexis: That some people don't have to drink alone.

Ari: How did you get in here?

Alexis: You know, that surprised me, too. Helena should stop choosing her security men for their decorative qualities.

Alexis: As your legal counsel, I am advising you to get your butt back to Port Charles, Now!

Jax: (teasingly) You know, you and Ned must have a pretty athletic relationship. (she hits him on the head with a throw pillow) I'm impressed.

Alexis: Why don't you take your twinkly little self back to Milan, (Jax whistles) have a little risotto, a baby, and then you can design some booties for it.

Ned: (Off camera, singing) "Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go...." He enters with Alexis, who looks like she'd rather be undergoing a root canal. Speaking. "Okay so technically it's Monica's house...but I know how you hate to be reminded."

Ned: When it comes to business, I expect my competitors to do everything in their power to make the best deal they possibly can, (becoming more angry as he goes on) but when you interfere with my personal life that crosses a line that I Will Not Tolerate.

Ned: She's not risking her life again for your psychotic family.

Stefan: The level of my sister's involvement in this matter is not up to you.

Ned: Now she's your sister. You always treat her like dirt, until you need her.

Stefan: (slowly, with anger) I beg your pardon.

Katherine: You know, Ned, we really need to start spending more quality time... APART.

Ned: I couldn't agree more. When do you leave?