EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND

Occupational Hazard

A work of fan-fiction by:
Samantha (sortitout)

and
Dan (Urhash)

Synopsis: Ray gets a new promotion at work but finds the fringe benefits aren't all that its cracked up to be, especially when his wife gets involved.


1 - Opening Vignette

Ray Barone leaned back in his chair of his brand new office with a contented sigh. Ray was a sportswriter for Newsday and he had just received a promotion with perks like no other he had ever gotten. Not only did he get a new state of the art office, he now was able to employ his very own assistant.  His boss even went as far as loaning him his own assistant for the day to help sort through the potential assistants. When he heard a knock on the door, he immediately answered, "Come in."

"Hi Mr. Barone,"' Mildred- Ray's temporary assistant- said as she came in through the door with files in hand, "Here are the files for the candidates for the position. Would you like me to send the first one in?" she asked with a no-nonsense manner, placing the files on Ray's desk.

"Uh sure go ahead." Ray answered unassuredly.  He had never been the one behind the desk doing the hiring and he felt a little less than confident with where to begin.

Mildred gave him an insincere smile and walked out the door. She looked at a man in his early 30's and said, "Come with me sir."

She walked back through the door with the man following behind her. "Mr. Barone, this is Joshua, your first interview of the day," Mildred said, practically pushing the man in front of her.  The door slammed shut as she left.

Ray motioned for the man to take a seat.  "Um hello there Joshua, please sit down."

"Thanks, for meeting with me sir. I really need a job," Joshua said a little too eagerly.  He had a slight lisp that hung on every word.

"Yeah that's understandable considering the current job market.  So, why do you think you'd make a good assistant?" Ray replied while he glanced over Joshua's resume.

"Well, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm very organized and neat and that's an important quality to have," Josh answered with slurred words and a broad smile.

"You're right Joshua, that's very true ... so, are you into sports?" asked Ray.

"Not sports per se, but I have my hobbies." Joshua answered again with a smile that was quickly growing disturbing.

"Oh really, what are you interested in then?"

"Star Trek, mostly the original and uh the next generation. After that the quality started to go down hill.  See that is why I need this job so badly because my Mom said that I can't live in her basement anymore unless I start paying my own way.  She also said she wouldn't pay for me to go to the conventions or collect my memorabilia. All the guys in my Star Trek RPG game started making fun of me because I wasn't gonna be able to go with them to the big convention in Texas. So I was like, screw that man I'm getting a job."

"Okaaaaaaaay," Ray commented with a raised eyebrow.  He stood up and walked to the door, "That will do it for today.  Mildred will call you concerning the job."  He opened the door quickly and gestured sharply for him to leave.

"Thanks Mr. Barone, If I get this job I will give you my Spock action figure!  Its one of a kind!" Josh said, lisping all the way as he skipped out of the office.

Ray looked at Mildred with a look of despair.  "I'm ready for the next one.  Hell after that I'm ready for anything."

4 HOURS LATER:

Ray was now about ready to rip his own hair out.  Perhaps he would do better without an assistant.  Or maybe Mildred could stick around- despite being a hairy beast, she did get the job done.

After the Star Trek fanatic, Ray thought things could only get better. 

He was dead wrong.

This had officially been the longest four hours of his life.  Following Joshua, there was a woman who stated she needed extra breaks during the day so that she could return home and be with her lonely cats.

Then there was the older man who called Ray and his generation, "Pansy Asses" and generously offered to whip him into shape if hired. 

After that was the woman who spoke no English, followed by the old lady who couldn't tell Ray what baseball was, and finally the crazy overweight gentleman who brought his pet rat "Killer" in his pocket during the interview and spoke like Mr. Bean.

Ray rubbed his temples and let out a long sigh. Pressing the intercom, he informed Mildred that he now was ready for the last candidate.

To his surprise, in walked a beautiful, tantalizing woman in her late twenties.  She had long black hair, part of which fell loosely across her forehead.  She sported dark Mediterranean features -- tan skin, full lips, long legs, and a slender figure dressed in a smart, stylish black business attire.  She looked sharp, Raymond quickly realized ... among other things.

"H-Hi, um, please sit down," Ray stuttered as he shook her hand. His eyes briefly met her's before he looked away.  Just as some women on the street were too hideous to even glance at, he couldn't help but think she was almost too dazzling!

"So, tell me..." he searched the resume momentarily for the name, "...Jodi, why do you think you'd make a good assistant?" Ray asked.

"Well, as you can see on my resume I am majoring in English and if I do say so myself I have pretty amazing typing skills."  She laughed slightly and continued, "But the main reason I think I'd be good for this job is I love sports.  I'm also a really big fan of your column, and it's clear to me that you're someone who truly loves the game. Having this job would be a really great experience for me and I wouldn't let you down."

Ray stared at Jodi, highly impressed by her credentials and enthusiasm. "When can you start?"

"That's it? I have the job?" she asked in confusion.

"Well, you don't have any cats, rats, or happen to think I'm pansy ass, do you?"

"No sir, I can't say I do," answered Jodi, her voice wavering as she shot him a strange glance.

"Well, then you are hired!" Ray said as he excitedly clapped his hands together.

Jodi stood up and extended her hand.  "Oh thank you so much Mr. Barone you wont regret this.  I will be here bright and early tomorrow!"

"No, thank you!" Ray replied heartily.  He was just as glad as to be able to leave the office finally.


2 - Bringing Work Home
{ Two Nights Later }

Debra Barone was slicing food in the kitchen of her home when the front door opened.  She smiled and called out to her husband Raymond as he entered.

"Heeey, I'm home.  Jodi's here too," he announced, slipping his car keys into the pocket.

She looked back down and continued to chop her vegetables.  "I know Ray, I got your message on the machine."  When she heard a shuffle of footsteps approach her, Debra looked up to greet her guest and was visibly surprised to see Ray's new personal assistant.  She had known that Ray had picked out a new assistant but wasn't aware of how extremely attractive she was.

Composing herself, Debra extended a hand and smiled warmly.  "Hi Jodi, its nice to meet you."  When the three were aligned so that Jodi couldn't see Debra, she shot her husband a subtle but curious look.

Ray greeted his wife with a pinch in the rear.  "What's cookin' Needlebutt?"

Debra shook her head and began placing some of the dishes on the table.  "Just some salad, braciole, and I think we even have some red wine."

"Braciole!  Great stuff there, Jodi.  Careful not to let any of it get on your pants," he commented with a smirk, referring to the first time his wife made braciole.

"That's very funny Ray," deadpanned Debra.  "Sit down."  It was more an order than a request.

Ray nodded.  "So anyway, Jodi's going to be reorganizing my office a bit and installing some software for me to network with the guys at work.  She's really good with all the computer stuff."

"Yea?  Well, that's good."  Debra looked over to Jodi.  "I hope you have better luck cleaning up that pit than I have."

Laughing, Jodi replied, "I'll try my best.  You know Mrs. Barone, you look so different from the picture on Raymond's desk.  Your hair looks better now than when it was blonde."

Ray winced.

Debra frowned.  "Blonde?  I've never dyed..."  She trailed off and looked at her husband.

"That's uhm.... that's a picture of a supermodel..." he explained slowly.

Jodi slapped her forehead apologetically.  "Oh!  I'm sorry, I guess I didn't see it clearly.  Being on Ray's desk, I just kind of thought--"

She nodded and glared at Raymond as he sank lower into his seat.  "Yes, one WOULD think..."

He smiled meekly at her.  "I only put it there because it reminds me of you, sugar-lips."

Debra narrowed her eyes into dark slits.  "Mmhmm...."

Quickly changing the subject, Jodi began to ask Ray for his opinions on basketball, followed by baseball, football, and on and on.  Both their thoughts were in sync with one another- they thought the same players were having an off season, they liked the same teams, and they both agreed that Mickey Mantle was the best player to ever pick up a bat.

The two continued their exchange for well over an hour as Debra was mostly relegated to smiling and occasionally chiming in with her meager knowledge on the subject. 

Just as dinner was almost over, the backdoor to the kitchen swung open.  Ray's parents, Marie and Frank, as well as his brother Robert all filed in.  As usual, they came in unannounced, uninvited, and generally unwelcome.

Robert halted and stared at the beautiful newcomer.  "Hello," he said stiffly.  "Who's this?"

Debra ate the last of her food and looked up.  "This is Ray's new assistant at work, Jodi."

Staggering a few steps, Frank rested his weight on the kitchen counter, continuing to stare at Jodi.  "Holy Crap!"

"You'll have to excuse my family, they're...um ... insane," Ray said, licking his fork.

Marie smiled and walked over to her.  "Hello Jodi, what a sweet name!  How do you like working with my son?"

"He's wonderful," she replied warmly.

Frank shook his head in denial.  "You lucky bastard!"

Getting up off his seat, Ray began to direct Jodi towards his basement office.  "Okay, lets get out of here before they start to scare you.  Maybe we can begin working on the office now..."  The two quickly disappeared down the stairs.

Robert, who was now totally smitten, managed to form his first sentence.  "Wow.  That is unbelievable."

Debra rolled her eyes.  "Oh come on, Robert.  Stop slobbering on my kitchen."

"One's never enough for Raymond, is it?  He's got to have one at work too!"  grunted Robert as he blinked rapidly.

Marie looked around curiously.  "Where's Frank?"

Robert pointed across the street.  "He left.  He only came over here because he smelled braciole, Ma."

Debra stirred the insides of the empty pot.  "Sorry ... there's none left."

"Exactly."  He shook his head and began muttering gibberish as he made his way into the living room to watch TV.

Marie walked over conspiratorially to her daughter-in-law.  "You know Debra, Robert's right.  Jodi seems to be very ... appealing."

Debra snorted.  "Oh please Marie, have you seen her?  This is Ray we're talking about here.  She's just his assistant at work.  Nothing more."

"And yet she's already over at your house eating dinner?" asked Marie.  She took a seat and gave her a questioning look.

"Oh stop it.  She's just helping Ray clean and rearrange his office."

She smiled knowingly at Debra.  "Don't you think that's your job, dear?"

Debra paused for a long moment and bottled up her anger at the sarcastic remark.  "No..."

Marie shrugged.  "Okay Debra.  I just think -- lets be honest here ... you don't really think Raymond chose her because she was the best candidate, do you?"

Debra blinked a few times.  "Well, yes -- no, but...."  She suddenly stopped and exchanged wary looks with Marie.


3 - First Sports, Then Sex
{The Night After }

"Ray?  Where the hell have you been?" Debra demanded as Ray entered through the door of their home.  It was now close to midnight.

"Oh, I just had to drop Jodi off cause she stayed so late.  She's all the way out in Suffolk County, you know," Ray answered as he sat down next to Debra on the couch.

Debra was confused.  "Stayed so late where?"

"Oh, in the office watching the Knicks game with me.  Its for my next column and she really helped me come up with a great angle for the article. She's just great.  You know, I think-- I think she's the only woman I've ever met with a real love for the game.  We work really well together," Ray said happily.

"Wow sounds like you had fun," Debra said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I did," Ray replied sincerely.  If she were trying to drop him a hint, he wasn't aware of it.  "It's so nice to have fun working and really accomplish something."

"'Really accomplish something', you sound like some kind of motivational speaker.  Your scaring me," Debra replied.  She looked away and rolled her eyes.

"Hey, you are always telling me I need to be more motivated," Ray replied innocently.

"Well, yeah but I meant at home. Like you know- pick up your laundry, do some dishes, not sit on your ass and watch sports all weekend," Debra said with a rising voice. She didn't appreciate the fact that his assistant could change his attitude so dramatically and quickly.

"Come on..."

She sat up and looked at him.  "You don't think its strange that you've probably spent more time talking to Jodi today than you have with me in the whole week?"

Ray laughed.  "Yeah but all you do is complain anyway..."

Sighing, she muttered, "You don't know anything about women, do you Ray?"

"You know I was actually talking about that with Jodi, tonight. She's so easy to talk to.  Anyway she was giving me some advice about how I could...." Ray began.

If Debra had to hear one more thing about Jodi and her wonderfulness, she was going to explode.  The thought of Ray spending so much time with his assistant irritated her to no end.  And there was no way she could put up with her husband taking advice about women from a stranger.

Raymond generally tended to have a one-track mind, as Debra was fully aware.  But she knew exactly what would derail him.

As he continued to rave on endlessly about Jodi, Debra climbed over and straddled him, then leaned in with a big kiss on the lips.  After they pulled back he breathed, "Woah, what was that for?"

Debra wiped her lips.  "Well, we could talk about it down here, or we could go upstairs..."

"Upstairs, definitely upstairs!" he responded quickly, his hormones already taking over.  Grabbing his wife by the hand he bounded up the stairs practically running. "This is great!  And its not even my birthday!" Ray exclaimed before the two disappeared up the stairs.

Once again, Debra had successfully lured him with her sex.

*******

Ray sank into his bed and moaned with contentment.  "Wo-oo-ow.  That was something else.  Watchin' the Knicks game with Jodi, then sex with my wife.  I think I'm in heaven."

Debra was about to drift off in his arms when she heard his comment.  "What the hell is supposed to mean?" she replied icily, glaring right at her husband.  She couldn't believe that he was so dense as to bring up his assistant again during post-coitus.

Ray stuttered cluelessly, "Wh-what?"

"You know what you said!"

"Come on, that's not what I meant.  It was a compliment!" protested Ray.

She sat up and shook her head.  "So I should be GLAD that you enjoy watching sports with some busty babe as much as you do sleeping with your wife?"

"Hey -- when did I say that?  Look, I enjoyed watching a basketball game with someone I can actually talk to, that's all!  You know Dad and Robert ... they just kind of sit there, Dad unbuckles his pants, Robert uses the cashews and walnuts to keep score.  But Jodi knows a lot about sports, so she was fun to talk to.  I had a great night altogether, what's wrong with that?"

"I guess we'll be seeing more of HER every time we have sex, then, right Ray?  I'm just here to round off your 'perfect' night!" exclaimed Debra as she threw her hands up in the air wildly.

Ray frowned.  "I don't know what's wrong with you tonight!  You seem to have a grim assessment of things.  Well, they say couples shouldn't go to bed mad, but since you don't seem to be helping, I'll just sleep on the couch tonight!"

As he stormed out the room, Debra's eyes remained fixated on the doorway, filled with discontent and mixed emotions.



4 - Promotion Perks

The next morning, Ray woke up on the couch and to his surprise, with Debra in his arms.  He stared at her in confusion for a moment and nudged her gently.  "Debra?"

She nestled her head against his chest sleepily.  "Heey..."

"What are you doing here?" he commented, rubbing her shoulders warmly.

Debra smiled.  "Nothing ... just didn't want you to get lonely down here over the night."

Ray laughed.  "Oh, uhm, okay.  You all right?"

"Yea I'm fine Ray ... why don't you stay for breakfast today?" she asked, slowly rolling off the couch.

He shrugged noncommittally.  "Sure, that'd be nice."

The two got up and made their way into the kitchen.  Debra began running some hot water into the sink as Ray made his way up behind her.  "Hey ... um, are you okay about last night?"

She looked up.  "What?  Jodi?  Yea, I'm fine Ray..."

"Okay, good.  That's good.  Do you mind if she comes over tonight again then?  She didn't really finish installing some stuff on my computer last night."

Debra looked away for a moment.  "Uhm... no, its no problem.  Its just I had something planned for tonight."

Ray scratched his head.  "We do?"

"Yeah, I just haven't told you yet silly.  You ... me ... dinner ... restaurant...movie..."  She trailed off and gave him a nudge.

He grinned widely.  "Ooooh!"  Reaching out, he poked and tickled her a few times in the belly.  "I'm onto you now, Missus Barone..."

After she left the kitchen to go make the couch, Ray sat down for a moment tiredly resting his head on his chin.  He was still a little drowsy.  "Two nights of action- now there's a first," he remarked to himself.  Suddenly he slapped the table with his palm, his eyes alert and awake.  "Wait one spankin' minute..."

As Debra strolled back into the kitchen holding her coffee mug, Ray stated, "Hey Deb, this weekend a couple of us at work are thinking of going golfing."

She put her hands on her hips.  "Golf?  Again?"

"Yea, come on..." whined Ray.

"Who're you going with this time?" asked Debra as she rolled her eyes.

"Ah, just the usual guys, really.  I was going to ask Jodi last night too but it turns out none of the guys at work really like her," Ray remarked casually.

Her eyes widened in surprise.  "You're kidding."  The thought of Andy and his other coworkers not being attracted to such a woman just didn't compute in her mind.

"No, its true.  They said she's meaner than Oscar the Grouch.  She seems nice to me, though."

Debra was lost in thought for a moment.  "Weird.  Well, all right then, sounds okay to me if you go golfing."

As Ray left to go upstairs and change, he couldn't help but think to himself that he could milk this for what its worth all week long.


*********

"Hey guys, sorry I am late," Ray announced as he walked into Marco's and sat down next to his friends Bernie and Gianni.

"What's going on with you man?  You were late for go-carts yesterday and now Pizza today?" Gianni asked, slightly annoyed.

Ray waved off their questions.  "Yea yea, forget about all that.  Listen, remember a few years back when Deb all of a sudden was a lot more willing to... ya know..."

"Give ya a little wham, bam, Thank ya Ma'am? Yeah I remember it turned out to be that beefcake guy, helpin' ya out right?" Gianni interrupted.  His slight Italian accent made all his words seem a little more vulgar than they really were.

"Well, it wasn't actually the Incredible Hulk guy, but yeah that time." Ray answered.

Bernie leaned back in his seat.  "As fun as going down bizarre memory lane is for me to listen to, does this story have a point Ray?"

"Yeah it does if you two clowns would let me finish.  Its happening again- and not only am I getting it more frequently but she's also being nice to me!" Ray said excitedly.

"Debra being nice to you? I don't believe it.  What did you do, kill your parents?" asked an amazed Gianni.

"Not yet.  This time I know what's causing it, and its all part of my master plan!  That's right baby!" Ray replied happily while shoving his fists in the air.

"Ray my friend, I've known you for a long time and you can barely come up with a plan, let alone a 'master plan,' " Bernie pointed out mockingly as he used finger quotes to make his point.

"Ha ha very funny, I'm serious here, man. You guys remember my new assistant Jodi, right?"

Gianni moaned in delight and leaned back.  "I couldn't forget that lady if I tried.  I just wanted to grab her right there!  She is so out of your league Ray that its a sexual harassment suit just waiting to happen."

"Well, ever since I hired Jodi, Debra's been extra sweet to me, letting me golf, letting me go out with the guys, letting me touch her.  She's like a new woman. All I have to do is talk about Jodi, or say I have to work late, and she'll do whatever I want.  Its AMAZING what a little jealousy can do," Ray responded proudly.

Bernie slapped the table, unable to contain himself.  "Man, I need to get a hot assistant damnit!"

"This is why I'm never getting married," Gianni said with a shake of his head.

"What man? I just said Debra is doing whatever I want!" exclaimed Ray.

"Well, yeah now she is but you had to trick her into making her jealous with your little hottie with a body assistant.  Before that you weren't even a blip on your own wife's radar.  You're going to have to do this for a long time if you want to stay afloat, my friend," Gianni said seriously. To emphasize his point he made the sound of life monitor flat-lining.

Bernie nodded his head gravely.  "He's right man.  After living with 'Sure I'll try on my whole lingerie collection for you'-Debra, it's gonna be damn near impossible to go back to 'Throw your clothes in the hamper or I'll throw you screaming from a helicopter'-Debra."

Ray's eyes widened as he realized they were right. He was going to have to keep this up for a long time to keep his fancy new Debra.  Things just got a lot higher maintenance.  He shook his head as he tried to snap out of his funk.  "Well, don't worry about it, I got it all under control.  I'm tired of 24/7 Permissable-Man-Slaughter Debra."

Gianni shrugged.  "I'm just saying man, you play with fire you're gonna get burned."

Now in the heat of the moment, Ray shook his head defiantly.  "Nope... I'm tired of this crap, man.  Remember the time I went to Robert's apartment with all the women walking around?  When Debra showed up she just laughed at me and said 'Hah, like you had a chance!'" He stopped and made a smarmy laugh.  "Who's jealous now, missy?  That's right!"

Bernie raised an eyebrow.  He had never really seen his friend so vocal about his frustrations with his wife, nor scheme in such a manner.

Gianni however, who was known more for his womanizing simply give his friend a thumbs up.  "Nice to see you have the balls to pull it off then.  I guess your genitals won't be revoked after all."


5 - Father, Forgive Ray For His Sins
{ The Following Evening }

Debra peered into the kitchen and flipped on the lights.  "Ray?  For crying out--- Ray!  It's 10:30!  You're three hours later than you said you would be."  She was visibly upset.

Ray shrugged and closed the back door, putting his work things on the table.  "What?  I couldn't help it, I had to stay late."  He grinned at her.  "You glad to see me?"

She ignored him and went to the stove, heating up the braciole.

Ray stared at her for a moment before taking a seat.  His plan wasn't quite working as slick today.  Sitting facing away from her, he said aloud, "Gaah... what's wrong?  Come on.  Debra?"

There was a long moment of silence.  Finally, she walked over with the pot of sauce and a large serving spoon.  She stirred it briskly, then pulled out a spoonful of the sauce, dangling it over Ray's lap menacingly.

His eyes widened in fear.  "Oh no, not again!"

"Thaaaaaat's right Ray!  Now tell the truth ... why are you always staying late at the office?!  You think I don't know what's going on?  Pervert!  Staring at Jodi all day and--"  She quickly slapped away his hand when he tried to push the spoon back.

Suddenly the kitchen door opened.  Frank Barone stomped in and announced, "I smell Braciole!"

He took a look at the situation between his son and daughter-in-law.  "Hey, did I just walk in on a hostage situation?"

Ray groaned.  "Yea Dad.  Why don't you untie the ropes while I defuse Debra?"

Debra took the spoon and whacked the sauce onto his plate, making a loud clack sound.  "Shutup, Ray.  You don't do anything around the house, you stay at work all day to check out your new assistant, and when you come home all you want is dinner and sex.  You don't even see your own kids!"  She paused for a moment to catch her breath, then poked him a few times in the back of the head.  "Maybe you'd be a better father if you were actually home more often!"

Stuttering for a moment, Ray angrily blurted out, "Well maybe I would be home more often if you were a better wife!"

"WHAT?"  Her face turned ice cold.

Ray grimaced, regretting his words.  "Ohh boy."

Frank simply shook his head and looked up at the ceiling.  "Forgive me Father for my sins."  He suddenly began to chuckle.  "...But at least I haven't pulled a Ray Barone!"

"Okay Dad, that's very original," Ray replied as he rolled his eyes.

Debra blinked a few times, still in shock.  "I can't believe you just said that."

He looked up but didn't dare meet her eyes.  "Come on... I didn't mean it like that, Deb."

She tossed the pot onto the table.  "Oh I'm sorry, is there a RIGHT way to say that you have a bad wife?"

As Frank began to help himself to the braciole, he whispered loudly "Don't answer!  Its a trap!"

"Would it help if I just stopped coming home altogether?" Ray quipped, scratching the back of his head as he avoided her question.

"Keep talking, Ray.  You won't be laughing when you're calling 911 from your mother's house in the middle of the night.  Sweet dreams," Debra said sinisterly as she moved towards the sink and began to clean the pots.

Ray glanced at his father, then slowly lowered his head onto the dinner table and began to bang his head on it.  Repeatedly.


6 - Closing Vignette

Raymond was sitting in his office, trying to begin his new article unsuccessfully.  Finally giving up in frustration, he allowed his head to plop down on the keyboard, creating a mess of characters on the monitor screen.  Jodi strolled in through the door, giving him a questioning look.

"What's wrong, Ray?" she asked sympathetically.

He shrugged and rubbed his forehead.  "Ahh, its just my wife.  She's been driving me nuts the past few days, can you believe it?"

She creased her eyebrows curiously.  "Do you know what caused her to act that way?"

"I have no idea..." Ray lied.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear things aren't going so well at home for you.  I hope my visit didn't make things wors--"

Ray laughed and shook his head.  "Don't be ridiculous, you were a godsend.  Everything is so organized in my office-slash-basement-dungeon, its amazing.  Listen, don't worry about it.  My wife's always like that.  We fight over anything- a can opener, an old car, the kids ... not voting for her for the school elections..."  He quickly stopped when she shot him a weird look.  "Anyway, what can I help you with?"

"I was hoping you'd ask."  Jodi walked over to the side of his desk and handed him a sheet of paper, "I've been going over these stat sheets and maybe you can explain to me...," she licked her lips and subtly spread the unbuttoned opening near the top of her blouse, "...how these things are rounded off?"

She slowly glided onto Raymond's desk and leaned forward, her voluptuous curves in full view.  "Are you familiar with how these figures work, Ray?" she asked ever so suggestively.

Ray stuttered and leaned back in his chair as his breathing quickened.  "I... uh, umm....."

"Ray?"  He appeared so mesmerized that she called out his name, as if to wake him up.

Almost tipping his chair over to the point that it would fall over, Ray quickly jumped up to his feet.  "Yea!  Yea, I'm here... uh, let me just get a--a p-pencil..."

Smiling coyly, Jodi remarked, "You don't have to be cute with me, Ray."  She put both hands around the back of his neck and drew him closer.

Ray sputtered and put his hands up in confusion, as if to tell her to hold up.  Ignoring him, she tugged Ray closer until he was right up against her.

Just that moment, Debra walked in through the door, eyes wide in shock.  From her perspective, it appeared as though her husband was feeling up his secretary's ample bosoms.  She faltered for a step and blinked sharply, putting a hand over her mouth.

Turning to look at the newest arrival into his office, Ray let out a yelp and pushed Jodi away forcefully.  "Debra!  Wait--"

She didn't say a word.  Giving him an icy glare, Debra simply stormed out of the office angrily despite his futile protests.

TO BE CONTINUED...