Excerpts from
JOCELYN
A Play by Ben Alexander
Copyright 2000
Early on in the play, Jocelyn finds herself unable to play the game anymore and announces she's leaving. In a panic, the producer Burt Farnsworth rushes to the studio to talk with her.
BURT
May I ask why you ran out the back gate? There�s nothing but a state highway there.
JOCELYN
I was going to try to thumb a ride.
BURT
Thank God our security staff stopped you. We have chauffeurs on staff. What was it that upset you so much?
JOCELYN
When you first got us together and went over the set-up, you told us, "Above all else, enjoy yourselves and don't take it personally if you're the one exiled." But if we exile people because we don't like living with them, then of course it's personal.
BURT
I remember in the interview, when I asked you why you wanted to live in the Hothouse, you answered me that you've always loved a good game.
JOCELYN
That's still true.
BURT
And look what a prize package this one comes with.
JOCELYN
But with me, it wouldn't make any difference if it was a million dollars or ten cents. I don't mean that I didn't want the million--sure, I can use it--but I would have been doing all the same things either way. Know what it is? If I don't do the best job I can of anything, if I don�t play every game to win, I feel like a loser. I feel like I'm taking up space that's not rightfully mine.
BURT
That's what I thought; that�s what you told me in the interview. That's also why I'm a little worried that if you leave tonight, you'll feel like a quitter.
JOCELYN
I'm not a quitter, Burt. What makes this show really hard for me is, it's a game where people's feelings are always on the line.
BURT
Oh yes, as a matter of fact, you're the one who reminds everybody else of that. You'd be the worst one for them to lose now. You also didn�t seem like the sort who would run away every time things got tense.
JOCELYN
Burt, it's more than that. I�ve never been able to face people who hate me.
* * *
Burt successfully talks Jocelyn into staying. Shortly after, Jocelyn and Marcy patch up the little difference they had before.
MARCY
Okay, okay. Then I guess we can still be friends?
JOCELYN
Isn't "friends" a funny word to use in a place like this?
MARCY
Don't know if you can trust me, you mean?
JOCELYN
I don't know if anybody should trust me, either.
MARCY
Yeah, I noticed that a little earlier. You know what your problem is? You think too deeply about everything. I can see you giving yourself a nervous breakdown every time there's an exile vote.
JOCELYN
You remember what I told you the first night, about how whenever I play a game I have to play it to win? I really meant that, but I don't know how to play to win when it's about kicking my own friends out of the house. I guess I still have a lot to figure out.
MARCY
Look. Whatever you do, whatever you figure out, don't let it drive you into the ground. Because, you want to know a shocking little secret? Promise you won't tell anybody?
(mock whisper)
This game, this show, is really a scheme that some greedy network fatcats came up with to...ready for this? Get rich. You're playing, and you're being played, because while you're after one million, they're raking in the mega-millions. So play the game whatever way turns you on, take what you can get, don't worry about what anybody else thinks, and live it up. I know that's what I'm going to do.
JOCELYN
Hey, you're right about that.
MARCY
I know I am.
(mock whisper)
Don't tell anyone.
* * *
Some time after that, Jocelyn asks Marcy and Renee, her two closest compaions in the house, to meet her first thing in the morning in the kitchen before anybody else wakes up.
JOCELYN
Come on, we don't have much time. We've been missing the point of what we're doing here, the whole point of what it's about. It's so clear and we haven't been seeing it.
MARCY
What we're doing here? We're here to entertain America, Jocelyn. Years ago they were tuning in Ed Sullivan, now they've got us.
RENEE
Is that supposed to be "progress"?
JOCELYN
Renee, Marcy, I'm talking about the exile vote. We've got to start realizing, this is a sport! Listen. You know why the votes have been getting me all depressed? Because they've been about saying "go away, we don't want you," when they should be about "ha-ha, gotcha sucker!" They should be fun.
RENEE
You think getting exiled can be fun?
JOCELYN
No, but playing the game of exile can be fun--like Flashlight Murder, you know that game kids play after dark?
MARCY
So get to the bottom line.
JOCELYN
Strategy.
MARCY
Okay, now, use that in a sentence? Sorry, just the copy-editor in me.
JOCELYN
We need a strategy. Together. Us. The way to play this is to realize that it's a sport, and when you�re playing a sport, you need a little stealth, a little craftiness, but all in good, clean fun!
RENEE
Okay, we got the philosophy; the nuts and bolts of it now, please?
JOCELYN
I want the three of us to form a team, a secret alliance, to agree on who our strongest competitors are, and get them out of our way one by one. The beauty of it is, it will be right under their noses that they should get rid of us, starting with me, and it will be a test of who's wise enough to catch on.
* * *
Late at night a couple of weeks later on the back lawn.
MARCY
Oh, Jocelyn, this is so wonderful!
JOCELYN
What is?
MARCY
I haven't had this kind of talk with anyone in so long, and I love it. But I need to ask you something. Remember how before I asked you if we were friends, and you said that was...oh, how did you put it...kind of a funny word to use in this place?
JOCELYN
Right...
MARCY
Is that how you feel now?
JOCELYN
I'm still working on that, to tell you the truth. You know how, when you�re having sex, there�s a climax?
MARCY
(with a trace of humor)
Yes?
JOCELYN
I�ve always wanted to feel something like that with a friend, too. Some kind of moment when our whole bodies were just tingling all over from how close we felt.
MARCY
You want to know something? That's what I was feeling just now, when you were telling me all that stuff from when you were growing up. It makes me wish I'd grown up with you as my baby sister. I'd have been mopping up the floor with you when it was just us, but shit, I'd have protected you like a trooper from mom and dad and things that go bump in the night.
JOCELYN
I'd have loved to have you as my sister. Man, the stuff we could have done together! And yes, Marcy, you're very much my friend. I don't want anything we do in this game to ever change that.
MARCY
Like we keep telling each other--a game is what it is.
JOCELYN
Thanks. Because I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night sweating with fear, and I just look over at where you�re sleeping, and where Renee's sleeping... It helps me make it through the night to know I�ll be seeing you at breakfast the next morning. Does that make sense?
MARCY
It sure does, sister.
(Pause.)
Jocelyn, hey, are you crying? I think we're getting a little too sentimental here.
JOCELYN
I was just thinking about something else.
MARCY
What is is?
* * *
A couple of weeks after that, in the kitchen.
RENEE
What's wrong?
MARCY
I'm finally starting to wake up and smell the coffee is what's wrong. God, I've been an idiot. You have too, you know.
RENEE
What are you talking about?
MARCY
Do you trust her?
RENEE
(laughing)
Trust? What's trust in this place, anyway?
MARCY
(not laughing)
It's not looking somebody in the face and saying you're their friend and you'll work together if you don't really mean it. Renee, who do you think is next on her timetable, after Brian?
RENEE
Well, I guess Sylvia.
MARCY
You guess Sylvia? Open your eyes, girlfriend! Sylvia's not next any more than Roger is. You and I are. I've been fighting like crazy not to believe it myself, but after what we just witnessed, we've got to face up to it. And I'll tell you something else. Some people don't suffer fools gladly; I don't suffer liars gladly. Nobody plays me for a sucker without paying a good steep price.
* * *
Same day, in producer Burt Farnsworth's office. Anchorwoman Gina Copeland reports for work.
GINA
Burt, what's happening?
BURT
It just goes to show, Gina, sometimes the best product is the home-grown variety.
GINA
What�s Jocelyn doing now?
BURT
She's giving us our best show yet, and I hope it's not too late to get the word out. Thank God for the internet. There's a briefing all set up for you in Conference Room B. You'll probably need to interview everybody in the house, starting with a couple of lovely young ladies named Jocelyn and Marcy, because they're going to be the stars of tonight�s show.
GINA
Okay, so who are they going after this time?
BURT
(with triumphant glee)
Each other!
* * *
In this scene and the next, Gina interviews Marcy and Jocelyn. In these interviews, you can plainly see the stark difference between how Marcy and Jocelyn see both the game and their relationship.
GINA
Hello, Marcy, and how are you this morning?
MARCY
Oh, just peachy keen, thank you. And yourself?
GINA
Not bad. So, Marcy, am I right in sensing that your friendship with Jocelyn is starting to hit some bumps?
MARCY
I just love your euphemisms, Gina, I've been meaning to tell you. Just do me a favor, though: don't put me, Jocelyn, and the word "friendship" in the same sentence when I'm about to go and eat.
* * *
GINA
Jocelyn, in tonight's exile vote, you're rallying the troops to get Marcy? One of your own kitchen caucus?
JOCELYN
I'm afraid so, yes.
GINA
How do you feel about tonight?
JOCELYN
Really weird, to tell you the truth. It gives me a taste of what it must have been like for Venus Williams, that time she had to take on Serena at the U.S. Open. I feel that way here. Marcy and Renee have become just like sisters to me.
GINA
But Jocelyn, would you agree that you�ve been a little devious with your two sisters, in this game?
JOCELYN
I've had to use the element of surprise, but if Marcy and Renee were really listening to what I've really been saying, I've been trying to tell them to watch out for me. Remember two weeks ago when Marcy made a joke about how maybe they should make a new caucus and exile me? You have no idea how much a voice inside of me wanted to cry out "Yes! Yes! If you're smart you'll get me now!" I would have been so proud of them, too.
GINA
But when you surprise Marcy tonight, how do you expect her to take it?
JOCELYN
I'm expecting she'll feel a little spooked out about the whole thing for the next few days, but she'll also know that that's just the game. What I feel most sad about, and I know she does too, is we don't live in the same part of the country, so it's going to be hard to spend this kind of time together once we're done here. I haven't had a family in so long, I can't even tell you how beautiful it feels, just getting to see Marcy and Renee at the breakfast table every morning. And whatever happens, we've just got to have a special slumber party when this whole thing is over, watch all the video tapes and be laughing our asses off at everything we did in this house. Come to think of it, Gina, you're invited too.
* * *
As you can predict, the network has that evening's live broadcast all hyped up. Presently, this scene takes place in Burt's office. (Note that Mark Dalton is the unseen house psychologist.
GINA
Yes, Burt, what is it now?
BURT
(angry)
What do you think it is, Gina?
GINA
All right, all right. I called Mark Dalton because I really thought he should check on Jocelyn before the show.
BURT
Since when is that your job to worry about? Jocelyn knows where to find Mark if she wants him. Next question. Why did you call the house crew and ask for another interview with Jocelyn? You got a perfectly good one already.
GINA
I just want to talk to her.
BURT
Do you have a good reason? I'm not allowing it otherwise.
GINA
The trouble is, she and Marcy...
(She falters for words.)
BURT
She and Marcy what? Wait, let me guess. They don't understand each other? Well, I've got a terrific idea. Why don't you go over there, sit down with Jocelyn, sit down with Marcy, get them together, and they can be having a nice kissie-kissie love fest just in time for the show.
GINA
(very exasperated)
I'm worried about Jocelyn, Burt! She doesn't know what she's getting herself into!
BURT
Gina, my dear sweet Gina, we are talking about the gal who's been prancing around that house all day, hatching her nefarious little conspiracies.
(mimicking)
"Hey Roger--we're getting Marcy tonight!" "Hey Sylvia--we're getting Marcy tonight!" "Hey Brian...guess what!" I'm almost afraid she'll have my job if I'm not careful. And you won't have your job if you're not careful. Now go back to the studio and get ready for the show.
And, around the same time...
RENEE
Jocelyn, I have to tell you something.
JOCELYN
Yes?
RENEE
Marcy�s ready for you, and she�s not in very good humor.
JOCELYN
Huh? What are you talking about?
RENEE
Don't play dumb, Jocelyn, we don't have time. You know damn well what I�m talking about.
JOCELYN
Is Marcy really pissed off? Is that what you're saying?
RENEE
She's in a whole other dimension from "pissed off." I don't like telling you this, but you're going to be facing this shit on the air tonight.
JOCELYN
Renee, we are playing a game. A game! It's not supposed to be personal.
RENEE
Yes, it's a game, but you know what? It's the kind of game where we each have to write our own rulebook. Your rulebook says it's nothing personal; Marcy's rulebook says it's everything personal.