Wednesday 8.12.98 0212aHST
So my computer crashes and I lose everything. How fucked up is that?
The heat here is intense and without an A/C you can actually experience how its like to be in hell. I can't sleep and the Gay Siblings pager keeps blowing up in vibration mode on his dresser and the rumble of it can be heard through the half-inch thick wall that separates us and its really begining to tick me off so much so that I am really imagining myself shoving that whole pager of his up his left nostril.
There has been conflict at work. And it upsets me. Last Sunday the manager and I got into a semi-argument about the newbie waitress and special treatment. We were tired, were were hot, I had my period, and he was as stuborn as a son of a bitch. We left on a bad note and I forgot all about it because to tell you the truth, I could really give a shit. So I come into work today and he brings it up again. He apologizes and I semi-apologize (for what I don't know) and all is good. I don't really know why he brought it up again. I say it upsets me, not because he brings it up again, but because I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE HOW DAMN INVOLVED I AM IN THIS CRAPPY JOB THAT ONE INCIDENT GETS TO ME LIKE THAT. I have to quit. SOON!
I am really swearing a lot. I need to stop that. I swear in my babble, I swear at work, home, at the beach, in the car, at the dog, at the chair, at my underware, at lipstick. Its just "FUCK" that and "SHIT" this. I'm afraid I'll end up like the cook at work BARRY who uses FUCK and SHIT in every single sentence. You know what I mean, you probably know one or two people who are compulsive "swearers" too. I find myself uncontrolably swearing in front of people who I REALLY shouldn't swear in front of (for example: mom, the boy's parents, the boss). Starting tommorow its good-bye to swearing ok?
Mosquitos suck. There is one flying across the screen right now.
The boy's dog has a major snorting problem. He snorts like a pig. When he sighs, it like he's got this phlem all caught up in his throat. Too bad dogs don't know how to hock a loogie.
I was lying in bed thinking of all these great things I can spew on this babble and now that I'm face to face with the screen my mind goes blank and I ramble about really STUPID unintellectual things....for example the recent mosquito comment and dog loogie (is that how you spell it BTW?). I should give myself a lobotomy and upload the extracted brain fragment to my site. Wouldn't that be cool. It's better than brain farting retarted shallow thoughts spontaneously. I wish I could get real deep and personal on this site sometimes, but because I'm listed in YAHOO, I'm too afraid a friend can come across this place, read something they really shouldn't be reading and disassociate his or herself from me. I mean I'm low on friends already. Why would I want to lose more.......SHIT...you know what? Screw that. What the hell am I saying? This is my FUCKING site and I can do and say whatever damn well I want. What am I thinking?
Before I go, I want to mention that I got the idea of that photo above from the playbills that came out in July. I thought it was a neat idea and you can see me without revealing my horrid face. Isn't the Brooklyn Bridge behind me a beaut??
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