for Saturday April 25, 1998 7:00pHST
It's two more months before I head back to the city. Can't wait for that sticky humid summer. Well, I guess there's a little sarcasm to that statement. I'm just about set to go and its not even June yet.
I moved out of the house closer to work and school. Sure its at my boyfriends house...but his mom actually cooks, which means I won't starve or spend dollars upon dollars on all that fast food crap. It's a nice cozy little room. I like it much better than my old room and the white walls give it that psychiatric ward look....which is quite pleasing. Is it true that if your favorite color is white...you're like only mental or something? I don't really know where I got that from...I should ask my neurotic psych professor.
I don't really think I'm the only one that thinks life has no meaning. Maybe my mind is just inactive this month so I can't extract thinks from life and interpret them as the reason for God putting us here. I always wonder what would of happened if I stayed in the religion I grew up in. Jehovah's Witness. It gave me some sort of guidance when I was young. It's funny. I seen it from the inside and it kinda pisses me off when I here other people diss the religion...especially when they THINK they know where they're coming from. Like the other day, there was this lady on some Christian station who was supposedly an "EX-Jehovah's Witness" and she was going on and on about what they taught her to belive. How the JW translation of the Bible was total bull shit. She took scriptures from what she said was the JW version of a scripture and compared it to the real version of the bible(I really don't know what she meant by REAL version). According to this EX-JW, Jehovah's Witnesses are total brain washing freaks who lie and make up things just so that you belive them....to put it into so many words. Just to let you know....from someone who grew up in the religion....SHE WAS FULL OF SHIT. First off the JW version of the Bible is the same as any "regular" bible you could probably get from your own Universal Church or your corner bookstore. Ok....I'm not a JW anymore....but in all honestly where does this lady get off telling these things when she has no idea what she was talking about? I could go on and on...but I don't want to get a load of email debating the issue. And just to clear things up the reason I'm not a JW anymore is because I don't belive I was ready to commit myself to God in that way. I takes a certain type of person to commit your whole way of living to one thats pre-set for you....which is want religion is in a nutshell...right? I mean JW's are no different from the Buddhist monks nor are they as controversial as Koresh(sp?) and his religious sect. I mean they're not hurting anyone. Right? Anyway I forgot my point to this religious babble. I'm AGNOSTIC if you're interested.
I'm kinda depressed...again...I have no friends. Would you like to be my friend? Email me.
A few people have emailed me about this site. Nothing bad or anything. I just want to apologize for not writing back. I'm not the "resopond to email" type of person. If you ever meet me in real life I'm that quiet shy type....well...more like....uhh.....ANTI. It's not like I don't like people...I think it's because people don't like me. Usually the quiet shy types are "brains"(nerds) or the troubled artsy type. I'm just troubled....I wish I was artsy....that sucks. Why do I have low self esteem today. Cheer me up....please?
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