First I want to say that I used to try to attain salvation through what I did. I tried to be good. I compared myself to others. Most of all I tried to convince others that I was good. I knew that I did wrong, but I couldn�t bear being honest with anyone. My lies did not do any good service for me. I still knew the truth, and worse yet, I knew that God knew the truth. All that my lies did was add to my sin. My condition became so horrible that my only solace was in telling myself that my sin wasn�t really sin because everybody did something they were ashamed of, and everybody lied about it. My lie became so central to my peace that I was convinced that it was true. Actual Truth, however, was about to find me.
To really understand this you must understand that God has always been central to my life. I was, however, deceived about the nature of God. I was convinced that God was just a being that had the power to destroy me. I lived my life with the constant knowledge that I was worthy of destruction. I believed that anything bad that happened to me was a just punishment from God. I did not understand that God also had the power, and the will to save me.
I could tell you the details of this experience, but it is not very action packed. In essence God brought me to the knowledge that I was incapable of earning salvation. The clear evidence for this was that every day my sinful condition worsened. After this rather painful realization, came the relieving revelation. God brought me to understand that His salvation is not something to be earned. It is a gift. My only job was to receive it. I did. Now I live my life in peace because I know that I have eternal life. Even though I deserve destruction I have been granted this gift of eternal life. This was not accomplished through my effort but through the effort of God Himself. Jesus accomplished the obedience that I was not capable of. He even became obedient to the punishment that should have been mine. (Philippians 2: 8) He took my death so that I could have His life. The salvation was already earned. To try and earn it myself was to insult the one who purchased my freedom from death.
The question remains, what do I do now that I have life? I live it for the one who purchased it for me. I do this out of both gratitude and anticipation. I know now that God is the kind of being that loves me enough to go to the utmost limit to save me. Therefore, I know that he wants what is best for me. My life is now lived in trust and dependence instead of fear and dread. I pray that if you are reading this and you can identify with the message that you will seriously consider accepting God�s gift. There is nothing you can do to earn it, and God does not expect you to. God is willing to accept you as you are. He died to save sinners while they were still sinners. (Romans 5: 8) He has already done the hard part. The gift is purchased. He is waiting for you to accept it.
Have Peace.
Jason Paulin