FYI If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes," delete it IMMEDIATELY.

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on floppy disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on all your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program the auto dial on your phone so that you can call only 1-800 numbers. This virus will also mix antifreeze with water in your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.

If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a bathtub filled with water. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******
If you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this to everyone you know.