| August 2002 Archive Same Rules Apply As Current Journal |
August 6, 2002 Hi, my name is Jonai... {hi Jonai} And I am addicted to cheese...*sigh* lol okay, I opened by saying that b/c I have a confession...*sigh* Move in a lil' closer to the screen... I went to the amusement park Friday...and I ate...*gasp* cheese fries and a funnel cake?!?! I know...I know. *hanging head in shame*...But ya see, this is what had happened (hehehe) I have this cheese addiction...{said like "Bubba from the movie Forrest Gump:} I luv cheese fries, cheese toast, cheese sticks, cheese soup, mac & cheese, cheese burger, cheese kabobs...alright, you got the point! lol Sooooo, I couldn't resist! But it's the worse...WORSE thing I've eaten in 8 months, so hey I'm not feeling too bad. That and the fact that I walked my ARSE (lol) off @ the park...MAN. My first job ever was @ that park...and I use to go there and walk around and around (mind you my current weight is the smallest I've been in more than 5 years!...so it's not like I am one of those..."...and one day I woke of FAT" people...sheeshe, those people kinda get on my nerves...lol anywho...) but I tell ya, that's one helluva park. I ached when it was all said and done. But did ya see my chart? *smile* I still lost one pound. It ain't much...but it's damn good for having had cheese fries AND funnel cake. lol Let's see...oh yeah, I managed to exercise 3 times (went walking!) last week...and I did my new work out tape yesterday (I'll get to that in a min...) I woulda did it today...but I had to work late...and today just ain't one of those...work until almost midnight...come home and exercise days...mo' power to ya if you can do that...*rolling eyes* (lol) Okay, back to my new work out tape...okay, I have heard many things about the "Walking Away The Pounds" tapes w/Leslie something or other...and I decided to buy the 1/2/3 mile and weight ball set. (ummm...can we say ebay? lol)...brand new for 20 bucks...well, after doing it yesterday I have to say that it's great! I did the 2 mile tape b/c the description said weightloss/toning/etc...the 1 mile is basically just one of those doesn't do much tapes (lol)...but I made it through the whole thing. And the Leslie lady isn't annoying or anything. I gotta say it felt good. And the best part is this little meter that pops up occasionally that tracks how far you've "walked." It's a very cool tape. Hope it works! lol Sooooo, yesterday I walked 2 miles. hehehe. I'll get to the 3 mile one probably in the next week or so. Anyway...I've just talk and talk...how are you doing? Okay, I'm gonna assume good unless you tell me other wise! lol Well, I'm off for the night...I'm hella tired...so, I'll catch ya next week! Jonai 08.13.02 Minus 1.5...woohoo!!! Hey, how ya'll doing? Well, it's the middle of August...*whew* I dunno how I made it this far...but I'm luving it all the way. You know, if you didn't know me...you would think I was the most conceited person in the world...wanna know why? No, it's not b/c I think I'm beautiful...or that I think I look better than anyone...this is why... I am constantly looking @ myself...touching my arms...my "flab"...looking in the mirror...I would use the word obsessed, but that is too dramatic. lol I mentioned how last week I went to the amusement park...right? Well, I was looking @ everyone! okay...mostly women b/c I'm a woman...I mean I was thinking...yep, I would look like that minus X amount of pounds...or yep, she doesn't look too bad and I am only a few pounds heavier than her. Alright...*sigh* tell me...am I obsessed? I can take it...give it to me straight. lol Alright...alright, I kinda think it's a good thing b/c I am still movtivated and I think it's a good sign...or @ least I hope. *smile* I gotta tell ya'll a funny story...I went to this department store..."Kohl's"....and I entered the store and walked through the regular sizes (misses...whatever you wanna call it! lol)...and I just fondled the clothes (HEYYY...get your mind outta the gutter...sheesh, this is a rated PG story...lol just kidding!) But seriously...I was looking @ the clothes...holding them up to me...kinda in awe...totally wishing that I could wear the clothes. Alright, maybe I could wear a SHIRT in XL...if I'm lucky...but that's not what I'm talking about...I want to TRULY feel I deserve to be there. (sound strange? okay...maybe someone can relate...ONE PERSON...going once...going twice...*sigh* nevermind! lol) Anyway...all of a sudden the song..."Wishing" <???> comes on...the one that goes..."wishing...and hoping...and praying" I don't know who sings it...I've only heard it a few times under movies...but anyway...I thought it was soooooooooo funny and fitting for that moment. Dang, that was a long story...sorry! lol I've still been doing my walking away the pounds 2 mile tape...I've done it 3 times...although I wasn't able to get through it once...I dunno what that was about. Guess I didn't drink my gatorade that day...but did it last night too. Wanna know what makes me keep going? Well, I wear shorts when I am doing the tape...and while I'm "walking away the pounds"...I'll look down and see my flabby legs steadily flabbing in the wind...ugh, nasty thought, huh? Yep...that's that's my motivation. lol I need to start writing in my journal more than once a week...b/c on tues. I just talk and talk and talk...lol Anyway...I am working hard...still trying to keep going...it's frustrating b/c I am soooooooooooooo overweight still, but hey...a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And when it's all said and done...it will be all worth it! Yeah Babe {said in my best Austin Power's accent}... Thanks for once again listening to my yada yada yada... Jonai PS...does anyone else watch American Idol? Wow, what a great show! I am trying to get through the lines as we speak to vote for Tamyra...she is unbelievable...wow! That girl w/the hot pink hair needs to just go...she should have been kicked off last week and they should have kept Christina. *sigh* Oh well...just thought I'd share. lol 08.21.02 Well, hello! Long time no journaling...it has seriously been a long week. But hey, I lost 3 pounds so I can't say much! And as per usual around this time of the month...Aunt Flo is around...but I'm going w/the # I saw. The whole water retention thing makes me think that the # has to be pretty accurate...guess we'll see next week! I exercised 3 times last week and today also. I'm still doing the 2 mile walk away the pounds tape. And it still feels good to do it! Every time I start to do it...I drudgingly start it...but the 2 miles go so fast (sort of! lol)...that I get into it...and once the "cool down" walking starts...I'm still ready to go. lol I haven't felt much like exercising anymore though...I've been sooo down. Yeah, yeah I know that exercising is suppose to relieve stress..blah, blah, blah...but it ain't happening here! My job is bringing me down. I just don't understand how a place that's so highly respected can treat certain people (umm...ME) like crap. Sure, there are other people who get treated badly too, but sheesh. All I have to say is I don't get paid enough for the BS, so it's time to move on. I think if I can continue with the whole fitness/health improvement...as well as move on and improve my career...I'll truly be happy...or @ least be able to add an "ier" to that happy...(umm, minus the "y"...haha see, I can spell! lol). I have been feeling really down b/c of work, so I don't really have much else to say...so, I guess I'll see ya'll next week! Wish me luck in the job search area...I darn sure need it. *smile* Jonai PS...I updated my Size 19 Jeans page...check it out! 08.27.02 Hi! How are ya'll doing? I am doing well myself...yes, you are reading the journal of a person who weighs less than 220 pounds. *smile* lol Did you see my chart?!?!? Aww, come on...you didn't? Sheesh, what's up with that? lol I'm just kidding! I am just so thrilled to be under 220...OMG(osh...can't use the Lord's name in vain...my mom taught me that one...yep, SOMEthings stuck. lol) Anyway...moving on... If you've been keeping up w/my diary...(surely there has to be @ least ONE person out there...lol)...then you know I said I would join a gym @ 219. Yeah, yeah...I know that's what I said...but umm, that's easier said than done. See, don't get me wrong...I will still exercise, but I don't think I'm up for a gym yet. FIRST...I have to find one near my house...SECOND...it has to be all female. Hey, I am NOT going to even fool myself into thinking I will feel comfortable @ a gym that's male and female. Now, I don't wanna hear it...blah blah about people are @ the gym to workout they won't notice you...blah blah...I will NOT waiver on this one...nope. lol Alright...next subject... I recently got a rather disturbing guest entry the other day...okay, don't go check it...b/c I got so mad that I deleted it...but check this out...I was told that I need to join Weight Watchers b/c it's such a great program...blah blah blah...basically losing weight isn't right, unless it's done the WW way... Okay, now hear this...I will NOT be joining Weight Watchers...I have been watching my OWN weight for the past 8 months...and damn it...it's working. I do appreciate all comments positive as well as negative...but please do NOT discourage someone who is working hard trying to attain a similar goal, just because they aren't doing it your way. Dang... It's really isn't anything personal...I have never been on Weight Watchers...and for those of you who are one it...GREAT, I will NOT discourage you either...but if your purpose for checking out my site is to judge me and compare me to your program...I don't need it. I have enough inner discouragement, I don't need it from anyone else...so thanks. *smile* Am I being a bit overly sensitive? Maybe...but you know what? After 8 months and almost 80 pounds...I DON'T appreciate it. Okay...I've said my peace... {DON'T let my bit 'o ranting discourage your from emailing me or signing my guestbook...I simply wanted to let it be known that negativity is not needed...I really do appreciate all other comments though!} Anyway...next subject... I went shopping!!! I spent wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much $. But it felt soooo good to shop and not 110% hate the way you look in EVERYTHING. I am down to 51% now. lol Yes, I did go to Lane Bryant...guess what?!?! I wear a size 14/16 top and 18 bottom...I know, right? I was shocked by the whole 14/16 top...who knew!?!? lol (and not just one LOSE tops...all of 'em...trust me, I tried on PLENTY! lol) The 18 accounts for my hips...I gots a plenty (lol)...but I working on getting those down. PLUS did ya'll know Old Navy went up to a size 20!?!?! OMG(osh)...so, I racked up on a bit of Old Navy too...I LUV IT. See, I'm thrilled to be in a "XL"...but it's not gonna last...I can't be the "biggest" regular store shopper...nope, I gotta keep going! lol ---problem--- I may go into serious debt once I am able to shop in all stores...but umm, BRING IT...lol Woohooo... Jonai PS here is a pic of me in my new size 14/16 top and size 18 jeans!!! (both Lane Bryant) |