SexinessThatIsMe (8:55:37 PM): MOSES.
HolyManMoses (8:55:49 PM): Hi, Lyla. :-)
SexinessThatIsMe (8:56:06 PM): Wanna share a Hershey bar with me and Jalessa?
HolyManMoses (8:56:40 PM): Yeah!
SexinessThatIsMe (8:56:46 PM): :-)
SexinessThatIsMe (8:57:00 PM): *breaks off a piece of that Hershey bar for Moses*
SexinessThatIsMe (8:57:08 PM): It has almonds, just so you know.
HolyManMoses (8:57:36 PM): Even better. :-)
HolyManMoses (8:57:49 PM): I wish I had something here to offer you and Jalessa in return.
SexinessThatIsMe (8:58:05 PM): It's all right.
SexinessThatIsMe (8:58:19 PM): Jalessa told me to tell you hi.
HolyManMoses (8:58:26 PM): Oh, you know, I always have peanut butter cups on hand.
SexinessThatIsMe (8:58:26 PM): She's waving to the screen.
HolyManMoses (8:58:32 PM): Tell Jalessa hi, too.
HolyManMoses (8:58:34 PM): lol.
SexinessThatIsMe (8:59:02 PM): She didn't actually say hi, though, because her mouth was all full of Hershey bar - I just assumed she meant hi. :-)
HolyManMoses (9:00:31 PM): :-)
HolyManMoses (9:00:36 PM): So, how are you?
SexinessThatIsMe (9:00:56 PM): I'm okay. The real question here is how are YOU?
HolyManMoses (9:01:15 PM): Why is that the real question?
SexinessThatIsMe (9:01:28 PM): Isn't it a real question?
HolyManMoses (9:01:52 PM): Sure -- but you made it sound like that was more important than how you were.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:02:15 PM): That's because I already answered the question, and you haven't yet.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:02:17 PM): *taps foot*
SexinessThatIsMe (9:02:21 PM): *looks at watch*
HolyManMoses (9:02:44 PM): Sorry.
HolyManMoses (9:02:46 PM): I don't mean to stall.
HolyManMoses (9:02:51 PM): I guess I'm all right.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:03:00 PM): You guess? Why only guess?
HolyManMoses (9:03:52 PM): I'm fine. Just a little confused, if you want the honest answer.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:04:13 PM): Confused about what?
HolyManMoses (9:07:02 PM): Something I did recently. I know that's really vague, but that's what's kind of hard about this. I mean, I know you deserve honesty, so I gave you the honest answer to the way that I felt, but then I knew that you'd want to know more. Which is fine, it's nice that you care. But I'm just not sure what to say about it. It's kind of personal.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:07:44 PM): Can I ask if it involves other people?
HolyManMoses (9:08:08 PM): Yes, it does.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:08:46 PM): If it was a situation that just involved you, would you tell me?
HolyManMoses (9:09:13 PM): Probably.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:10:08 PM): Ok, then I understand.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:10:19 PM): I suppose you can't tell me who the other people involved are, can you?
HolyManMoses (9:11:55 PM): Yes, I can. I don't think that the other person would *mind* me telling you. I think she'd probably tell you if you asked her. It just feels weird.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:12:25 PM): Is it Heaven?
HolyManMoses (9:12:42 PM): Yes.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:20:14 PM): Did you have sex?
HolyManMoses (9:20:46 PM): No, thank God.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:21:10 PM): Does it have to do with sex?
HolyManMoses (9:22:17 PM): I'm not sure. Maybe. I think that's the confusing part.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:23:10 PM): Why don't you just tell me, and I'll unconfuse you!
HolyManMoses (9:23:53 PM): Maybe you could. I've been thinking lately about all those e-mails we used to write each other about sex, and wishing I had that kind of clear-headedness again.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:25:35 PM): Then I'll do it!
HolyManMoses (9:27:59 PM): Help me get clear-headed, you mean?
SexinessThatIsMe (9:28:30 PM): Yes! And talk to you about sex too, if you want. :-)
HolyManMoses (9:30:35 PM): Of course.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:36:18 PM): I have the perfect background music for this conversation too! I'm listening to a song about sex at this very moment!
HolyManMoses (9:36:54 PM): There are a *lot* of songs out there about sex. It wasn't until recently that I really realized why.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:37:12 PM): Have you written any songs about sex?
HolyManMoses (9:37:19 PM): I always thought it was just because sex sold. Which, I think, is partly true. But I also think it's that sex is very pre-occupying.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:37:40 PM): Sex affects everything!
HolyManMoses (9:38:58 PM): I haven't *really* written any songs about sex . . . but I've written songs about my experiences and my feelings about them, some of them sexual.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:41:53 PM): My pink letters are gone!
SexinessThatIsMe (9:41:56 PM): What happened??
SexinessThatIsMe (9:42:10 PM): Okay, they're back. :-) No need to panic.
HolyManMoses (9:42:42 PM): lol.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:51:26 PM): Gonna talk about sex now, or what?
HolyManMoses (9:51:45 PM): Sorry.
HolyManMoses (9:51:58 PM): It's not something that's easy for me to just dive into. I was waiting for you to help me out, I guess.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:52:52 PM): Okay. First, you gotta unzip your pants!
HolyManMoses (9:53:15 PM): Lyla!
SexinessThatIsMe (9:53:37 PM): What?
HolyManMoses (9:54:36 PM): I don't want this to turn into a dirty conversation.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:54:50 PM): Oh, come on. I was just trying to get you into the mood.
HolyManMoses (9:55:11 PM): That puts me out of the mood to carry on a serious conversation about this.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:55:33 PM): Oh. :-(
HolyManMoses (9:55:59 PM): That came out kind of harsh. I'm sorry.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:56:36 PM): Good. Apology accepted.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:56:42 PM): Now unzip those pants!
HolyManMoses (9:56:58 PM): No.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:57:03 PM): Fine.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:58:11 PM): We'll leave the pants on for now.
SexinessThatIsMe (9:58:21 PM): What do you want to talk about?
HolyManMoses (9:58:32 PM): I'm not sure.
HolyManMoses (9:58:43 PM): Do you want me to tell you what I'm confused about?
SexinessThatIsMe (9:58:53 PM): Yes.
HolyManMoses (9:59:39 PM): Have Meghan and Amy already told you this?
SexinessThatIsMe (9:59:58 PM): I won't know until you tell me.
HolyManMoses (10:04:26 PM): I'm not sure how to say it. The last time Heaven and I were together, I got on top of her.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:05:25 PM): And?
HolyManMoses (10:07:02 PM): That's it. We didn't do anything.
HolyManMoses (10:08:04 PM): But it has me feeling all messed up inside. I feel like I shouldn't have done it, but I did it for her, not for me. And I feel like I should let go of the fact that I was uncomfortable for me because I gave her what *she* wanted . . . but I still can't get rid of this strange feeling I have about it inside.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:09:34 PM): I think that if you were uncomfortable with it, what you did was wrong. It's no consolation that you gave her what she wanted.
HolyManMoses (10:10:04 PM): I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was with it until I'd already done it, though.
HolyManMoses (10:10:11 PM): I thought I wanted it, too.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:10:42 PM): Then maybe that's not so bad. You tried something new, you didn't like it, so don't do it again until you feel ready. Simple.
HolyManMoses (10:11:14 PM): Wow. You do make it sound simple.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:13:29 PM): Why shouldn't it? It doesn't have to take a rocket scientist.
HolyManMoses (10:14:43 PM): I don't know. I just know that I just talked to God for 4 pages in my journal and didn't have it untangled. Maybe God sent you to me in your wisdom. :-)
SexinessThatIsMe (10:15:11 PM): Of course He did. :-) I'm a blessing in a thinly veiled sexy disguise.
HolyManMoses (10:15:37 PM): You are a blessing.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:16:37 PM): In a thinly veiled sexy disguise.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:16:51 PM): So have I untangled it for you?
HolyManMoses (10:17:17 PM): For the time being, I guess.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:17:32 PM): Anythign else you need me to untangle?
HolyManMoses (10:18:21 PM): Hmmm.
HolyManMoses (10:20:14 PM): Well, just what I should do with my life.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:20:48 PM): Okay, here's what you do:
SexinessThatIsMe (10:22:05 PM): 1) Unzip your pants
SexinessThatIsMe (10:23:43 PM): Hey, there's this new book out called "What Should I Do With My Life?" I saw it at Barnes & Noble recently. Maybe you should get it!
HolyManMoses (10:24:01 PM): Maybe.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:24:05 PM): Because, Moses, you're not the only one plagued with this tanglement. I've been wondering what I should do with my future, too.
HolyManMoses (10:24:12 PM): That one thing is the only piece of advice you have for me?
HolyManMoses (10:24:20 PM): What are you considering?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:25:47 PM): Moses, I can't tell you what to do with your life. Only you can do that. My only advice is to not get too tangled while you're thinking about it. Just live life, enjoy life, and it'll just come to you.
HolyManMoses (10:26:49 PM): I hope so. But every time it "comes" to me, it seems to go away the next day. But you're right, Lyla. I know God will show me when I'm ready to accept it. But I'm just impatient.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:27:21 PM): Just be patient, and take off your pants.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:28:13 PM): Um, Moses?
HolyManMoses (10:28:17 PM): Yeah?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:28:22 PM): What did you do to Jalessa?
HolyManMoses (10:28:33 PM): What's wrong?
HolyManMoses (10:28:40 PM): I didn't think I did anything to her . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (10:29:54 PM): Because she started crying, and then when I asked her why she was crying, she just got up and left.
HolyManMoses (10:30:18 PM): I don't know what to say . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (10:30:33 PM): Well, if it helps, I don't really think it was you.
HolyManMoses (10:30:54 PM): Do you think I should say something to her about it?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:31:35 PM): I don't know. Do you think anything needs to be said?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:31:39 PM): What *happened*?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:31:51 PM): Want me to go follow her?
HolyManMoses (10:32:09 PM): She said I was analyzing her . . .
HolyManMoses (10:32:25 PM): Do you think she needs someone with her, or to be alone?
HolyManMoses (10:32:36 PM): I mean, should I let her know that I know she left crying? That you told me that?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:33:42 PM): I don't know the answers to any of those questions.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:34:08 PM): I think she'll be all right. . . .
HolyManMoses (10:34:14 PM): She might feel invaded if she knows I know about it, you know?
HolyManMoses (10:34:25 PM): But I feel really badly if I hurt her and then can't do anything to help her . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (10:36:10 PM): But then, she also might feel . . . whatever the opposite of invaded is if you don't do anything about it. Jalessa's not not the easiest line to draw.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:37:12 PM): I really don't think it's you, Moses. I think it's just that she's been under a lot of pressure the past few weeks, and it's finally getting to her. But I don't think it's anything *you* did.
HolyManMoses (10:37:21 PM): I'll e-mail her.
HolyManMoses (10:37:44 PM): I still triggered her somehow, though, and if she's been under so much pressure, I'd much rather alleviate that than be the final straw . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (10:38:29 PM): You want me to go check on her? Make sure she's not rifling through the medicine cabinet or kitchen drawer?
HolyManMoses (10:39:53 PM): If that's a valid concern, yes.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:40:17 PM): I really don't think so, but you can't be too careful.
HolyManMoses (10:41:24 PM): Maybe you should.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:41:56 PM): . . . Really?
HolyManMoses (10:43:41 PM): Yes. If she wants to be left alone, leave her alone (unless you think she's going to do something harmful). I think it's valid for you to check on her; you did see her leave crying.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:43:54 PM): Okay. I'll be right back.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:51:25 PM): And I'm back.
HolyManMoses (10:51:43 PM): How is she?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:52:15 PM): Not in the kitchen, and not in the bathrooms, at least.
HolyManMoses (10:52:47 PM): You couldn't find her?
SexinessThatIsMe (10:53:49 PM): She wasn't in her room either. So I checked Madison's room, because they've been chilling a lot lately, and Madison answered the door, but she wouldn't let me in. She said Jalessa was in there, but that she didn't want to talk to anyone. And I trust Madison to keep a good enough eye on her.
HolyManMoses (10:55:31 PM): Yes, I'm glad that she's with someone. That's good.
HolyManMoses (10:55:35 PM): And you know where she is.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:57:02 PM): Honestly, I think it would be better if she were alone. It always seems like she's running to people thinking they can fix her.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:58:43 PM): It's getting old.
HolyManMoses (10:58:46 PM): Fixing and helping aren't the same thing, though. It's okay to turn to someone for help when you're having difficulty.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:59:32 PM): I still think she expects too much from people sometimes.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:59:44 PM): And then it scares them away.
SexinessThatIsMe (10:59:49 PM): Chernon hasn't talked to her in forever.
HolyManMoses (11:01:40 PM): That is hard, sometimes. To be with someone who needs so much from you.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:02:01 PM): You think she'll ever find her match?
HolyManMoses (11:03:14 PM): Yes.
HolyManMoses (11:03:49 PM): She find someone whose desire to give to her as as great as her desire to be helped by someone.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:04:49 PM): Seems unlikely to me. I think she should just help herself first, and then find someone.
HolyManMoses (11:05:14 PM): Maybe she needs someone to help her learn how to help herself, though.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:06:00 PM): That's what she has her therapist for!
HolyManMoses (11:06:17 PM): And friends.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:11:54 PM): She's had friends and her therapist for a while, and she still hasn't learned it.
HolyManMoses (11:12:14 PM): What do you think she needs to learn it, then?
SexinessThatIsMe (11:13:42 PM): Good question. I'm not sure. How does someone learn to stop being co-dependent?
HolyManMoses (11:14:31 PM): I really should know this, but I don't . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (11:14:43 PM): Why should you know it?
SexinessThatIsMe (11:14:51 PM): Have you been co-dependent?
HolyManMoses (11:16:02 PM): No, because I'm a psychology minor, and I'm sure I've read about it somewhere.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:16:58 PM): Maybe she needs to find someone else who is co-dependent! Then they can be dependent on each other!
SexinessThatIsMe (11:17:09 PM): You know, I think that's actually the reason why she's been trying to get pregnant . . .
HolyManMoses (11:17:25 PM): Yeah, I think that's how it ends up working a lot of the time.
HolyManMoses (11:17:29 PM): She trying to get pregnant?!?
SexinessThatIsMe (11:17:57 PM): Well, she was. I don't know if she is anymore.
HolyManMoses (11:18:41 PM): That's some scary stuff.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:19:34 PM): It's not like she's trying to kill someone.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:19:40 PM): Oh, wait, that was a bad joke . . .
HolyManMoses (11:20:09 PM): No, but creating someone is pretty serious stuff, too.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:27:49 PM): Yeah, it is. But I don't *really* know if that's why. Just a guess. She could have legit reasons.
HolyManMoses (11:28:04 PM): But she's not married . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (11:28:41 PM): I don't know if you know this, Moses, but people can get pregnant even if they're not married.
HolyManMoses (11:29:23 PM): Yes, I do know that. But you know how I feel about sex before marriage. And I know what makes babies.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:30:15 PM): Jalessa's not a virgin.
HolyManMoses (11:31:04 PM): Just because you're not a virgin doesn't mean it doesn't matter whether you have sex, or who you have it with.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:31:30 PM): I didn't quite follow that . . .
SexinessThatIsMe (11:31:37 PM): Oh, wait, I got it!
SexinessThatIsMe (11:31:56 PM): I didn't get those two "doesn't"s for a second. They were cancelling each other out in my head. :p
HolyManMoses (11:32:54 PM): Sorry.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:33:00 PM): Not your fault.
HolyManMoses (11:33:16 PM): I have to go to the bathroom. Do you want me to come back?
SexinessThatIsMe (11:33:31 PM): What are you going to do in there? Unzip your pants?
HolyManMoses (11:34:12 PM): I think I'd better.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:34:23 PM): Finally!
HolyManMoses (11:35:01 PM): I do it out of necessity only.
HolyManMoses (11:35:08 PM): And the necessity is growing great, Lyla.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:35:24 PM): Well, hurry it up then!
SexinessThatIsMe (11:35:30 PM): You don't have to come back.
HolyManMoses (11:35:38 PM): Okay. That's what I wanted to know.
HolyManMoses (11:35:50 PM): It was nice chatting with you.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:36:12 PM): Nice chatting with you too. :-) I'm glad you're finally gonna remove your pants.
HolyManMoses (11:36:30 PM): Goodnight, Lyla.
SexinessThatIsMe (11:36:33 PM): 'night.
HolyManMoses signed off at 11:38:53 PM.