Amanda
Having developed anxiety and panic disorder four years ago when I was 19, I found it very difficult to cope with. But one of the first things I decided was that I was not going to take meds for my condition. My decision was based on this reasoning: although my first panic attack that ushered in my disorder was more or less physiological and chemically induced, I knew that my continued reactions to stimuli were behavioral. I was reacting to fear. If I started taking medicine,I knew that my parasympathetic nervous system would go nuts as soon as I got off the meds, sending me into more panic attacks that would just make complete recovery that much further away.
I knew that although this disorder was not completely "all in my head" that I could change my reaction to these stimuli and build new behaviors through cognitive therapy with a counselor. But it took several years before I was willing (and could afford) to see one.
So for three years of suffering and establishing fear-based reactions to everyday events, feelings and people it took me five months seeing a counselor once a week to feel absolutely no symptoms or reactions for a full week. This to me was a near miracle. Although I still deal with anxiety now and then, I have accepted that this is something I will probably live with for the rest of my life. But I am able to understand why I react the way I do and deal with it effectively. It is never disabling to me anymore. And it is all about having someone you fully trust teach you how to take control over your body and live a life based in trust - of yourself and your ability to feel safe in any environment.
But it all depends on you. You must take a "leap of faith," if you will. You must first really believe that you have the ability to be 100% better and that you are deserving of such a thing--and you must have utmost patience and respect for yourself. The longer one has suffered from anxiety and panic disorder, the longer it will take to recover. But it is possible. It is extremely possible.
