PIERCING
TALE!
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How many times through the years did I hear my daughter say those words? I didn't seem to have the nerve when I was younger and now, after experiencing many panic attacks, I couldn't see deliberately placing myself in a panic situation. Besides, the clip-on style suited me just fine.
Yet, was I really satisfied? While out shopping, I would approach the earring displays where I would see the beautiful, wire hoops, the kind I wished I could get in clip-ons, but they were always designed for pierced ears. I would fume and declare to anyone within hearing distance that I was being discriminated against. It just wasn't fair!
While dusting and straightening my daughter's dresser, I would look at her array of earrings. They were all sizes, shapes and colors. Holding them to my ears, I wondered what it would be like to be one of the majority, for I knew I wasn't quite like other people. I had too much fear inside me all the time to do the simple things that others took for granted. I didn't think I would ever get the nerve to sit long enough to get my ears pierced. I would try and accept that and not torment myself with wishing for what I couldn't have.
It seemed like everywhere I went, there were huge signs advertising 'Free Ear Piercing'. "Go for it, Mom," my daughter would say, and when I would refuse, she would walk off in disgust, all the while making 'chicken' noises. I got no respect! She would point out infants to me, barely out of the womb with tiny rings in their ears. Golden Agers, barely able to walk, were sporting them. At one point, my son got into the act, informing me that several of his friends had their NOSES pierced. I suggested he find new friends and give up hanging out with Zulus!
My birthday rolled around as they are bound to each year, and even though I tried to keep it secret, there are always those amongst us who never forget a date. I was quite pleased with what I received until later that day when a fellow sufferer presented me with a gift. Upon opening it, I discovered a pair of earrings inside. As I thanked her for them I suddenly noticed they were for pierced ears. What was going on? She knew my ears weren't pierced. I was sure I had told her. What the hell was she trying to pull? Whatever it was, it wasn't going to work. No way! Forget it! An incentive? Get out of here!
Along with the earrings came a certificate for free piercing, to be done at a store in the Mall. Well, this was one pair of ears that wouldn't be taking them up on their offer. I placed the accursed objects in my handbag and tried to put the whole thing out of my mind. But you know, I couldn't! Each time I was at the Mall, I would be drawn to the place of purchase. I would stand there and project myself onto the little stool and go over and over in my mind what fears I could experience by sitting on that stool. I wished I had the guts to throw caution to the wind and say, 'Que sera sera,' but I was too sensitized over the years to say that.
Those blasted earrings were burning a hole in my handbag. Every time I went to it, there they would be...staring up at me with their beady green eyes, taunting me...daring me. And although I would push them into a corner, I knew they were there...tempting...tormenting!
For weeks they haunted me. I couldn't take much more. Those damned pieces of stone wouldn't be satisfied until they found a resting place in my ears. The day came when once again I found myself standing before the 'Temple of Doom'. This was the day I would buckle under the pressure. Looking closely at the lady who would be performing this torturous ritual, I came to the conclusion that she looked harmless enough. But one never knows, does one? There are many sadists in the world.
Very timidly approaching her, I asked how long it took to get one's ears pierced. When she replied, "Oh, just a few minutes," my next question was, "Will it hurt?" Of course she said "No", but then I somehow knew she would say that. I could feel my anxiety starting to rise but I was tired of backing down from situations where panic might be involved. Now was the time to make a stand. I would see this through!
Giving the earrings to the lady, I said, "Please be gentle. This is my first time"! She smiled as her eyes settled on a piece of gleaming steel that was lying on the counter. My God! What had I gotten myself into? Or rather, what had my friend gotten me into? She was the reason for my being here in the first place.
I'm told to sit on a stool and a dot is put on both my ears with a marker or whatever. I'm then handed a mirror and asked if the marks are in the right place. She's asking ME this? With trembling hands I gripped the mirror and looked into it but anxiety has blurred my vision so I not only can't see the dots, I can't see my damn ears! How the hell am I supposed to know if the dots are in the right place? I looked at my friend and she gives a nod of approval...while grinning from ear to ear. Like I said, there are sadists everywhere.
A cool antiseptic is applied and the shock of it against my skin clears my vision somewhat. I can see that a small crowd has gathered. What the hell do they think this is? A freaking sideshow? Then it dawns on me...word has gotten out that the last Newfoundland virgin ears are about to be pierced. Well, enjoy yourself, folks. Is there a paramedic among you?
The piece of steel in the lady's hand is coming closer and closer. I look straight ahead. She tells me to relax..to think of where I'll be going on vacation. Oh, I know exactly where I'll be going...to the hospital to see my friend in traction!
I spied a friend of mine among the crowd and frantically called to him. He rushed to my side and as I grabbed his hand I heard myself saying, "Has anyone boiled water?" Wait! Wait a minute! get a grip on yourself, girl!
The steel touched my ear and as I closed my eyes I heard a clicking sound and felt a sharp twinge. "Viola"! One down and one to go!
This is the moment when I should panic. This is what I had visualized for years..one ear pierced and me running through the Mall in a panic. Yet, hadn't I entertained the oglers enough already? I would see this through and be all the braver for it.
And I did see it through. The other ear was quickly pierced and as I looked at the final result I could see that it was worth it. The tiny green stones sparkled in my ears and my own eyes sparkled with pride. I had done it! I headed towards the earring display and thought, "Those beautiful wire hoops will soon be mine!"
It's never too late to fulfill a dream. Don't waste time worrying and fearing. Try to face the fears. The wonderful feeling of accomplishment is worth it!
By Eileen Power
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