A few years ago I posed this question to a
newsletter in New York,
"What percentage of panic
disorder sufferers are of the Roman Catholic
faith?"
I never did receive any feedback on my
query but I myself know that at least 70% of my
phobic friends and others that I have come in
contact with through the years are Catholic.
I can't speak for them but I feel that my strict,
and sometimes absurd, religious background
contributed greatly to the pattern my life has
taken...a pattern which I would find very
difficult to divert from for many years.
The strict discipline which was imposed on
me (and thousands of others) by the
rigid, strait-laced nuns would never be accepted
today. The strappings, degradation and fear was
looked upon as the "norm" back then. It was
useless to complain to my parents because more
likely than not, another strapping would
result. According to them, I must have done
something wrong to incur the nuns' wrath. To
them, the workings of the clergy was "The Law."
So I went through school suffering the
humiliation of having my bare legs wrapped in
paper because I had dared to wear ankle socks on
a hot, summer's day...the anxiety of waiting my
turn to enter the confessional to confess my
"sins"...the horror I felt upon realizing that I
had eaten meat on a Friday...and to entertain
impure thoughts meant that you would spend an
eternity in hell. Is it any wonder that I
experienced my first panic attack when I was
thirteen years old?
The books state that determining the reason for
one's phobia will not necessarily result in an
instant cure. I'm fully aware of that and
haven't spent a great deal of time wondering
what helped trigger that first attack, but I
think that my days as a child in a Catholic
school helped to contribute to a lack of
self-confidence, low self-esteem and some of my
irrational fears.
The church has undergone vast changes in past
years and I'm thankful for that. I'm glad that
today's generation and those to come will not
have to face what I was unable to escape.
I think many of us, male and female, have had the
pattern of our lives set during our informative
years by a domineering figure...a teacher,
member of the clergy, someone in authority.
If you can relate to the above
article, please let me know.I will be glad to
post your response.
Thank you.
Eileen Power
1998
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