A few years ago I posed this question to a newsletter in New York,
"What percentage of panic disorder sufferers
are of the Roman Catholic faith?"
I never did receive any feedback on my query but I myself know that at least 70% of my phobic friends and others that I have come in contact with through the years are Catholic.
I can't speak for them but I feel that my strict, and sometimes absurd, religious background contributed greatly to the pattern my life has taken...a pattern which I would find very difficult to divert from for many years. The strict discipline which was imposed on me (and thousands of others) by the rigid, strait-laced nuns would never be accepted today. The strappings, degradation and fear was looked upon as the "norm" back then. It was useless to complain to my parents because more likely than not, another strapping would result. According to them, I must have done something wrong to incur the nuns' wrath. To them, the workings of the clergy was "The Law."
So I went through school suffering the humiliation of having my bare legs wrapped in paper because I had dared to wear ankle socks on a hot, summer's day...the anxiety of waiting my turn to enter the confessional to confess my "sins"...the horror I felt upon realizing that I had eaten meat on a Friday...and to entertain impure thoughts meant that you would spend an eternity in hell. Is it any wonder that I experienced my first panic attack when I was thirteen years old?
The books state that determining the reason for one's phobia will not necessarily result in an instant cure. I'm fully aware of that and haven't spent a great deal of time wondering what helped trigger that first attack, but I think that my days as a child in a Catholic school helped to contribute to a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem and some of my irrational fears.
The church has undergone vast changes in past years and I'm thankful for that. I'm glad that today's generation and those to come will not have to face what I was unable to escape.
I think many of us, male and female, have had the pattern of our lives set during our informative years by a domineering figure...a teacher, member of the clergy, someone in authority. If you can relate to the above article, please let me know.I will be glad to post your response.
Thank you.
Eileen Power
1998
