|My Favorite Quotes|
"A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister."
"Bzzt! Sorry, Hans, wrong guess; would you like to go for double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?"
"Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. A monkey in the wrench. A pain in the ass."
"Take this under advisement, jerkweed!"
"Yeah, Zeus. Like father of Apollo, Mount Olympus, don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass--Zeus! You got a problem with that?"
"You're supposed to stay in your seat until the plane reaches the terminal. No frequent flyer mileage for you."
"As far as I'm concerned, progress peaked at frozen pizza."
"My life has reached its pinnacle. Joe's letting me close the store tonight."
"We're both screwed. At least you're used to it."
"Oh Rexy you're so sexy!"
-Woman in video
"In the immortal words of the Doors...the time to hesitate is through."
"I am guided by a force much greater than luck."
"If I win this roll, I will save my job and the jobs of the people I work with, thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to live in."
"I was looking at myself in the mirror, and I wish I had a pot."
"You were looking at yourself in the mirror and you wished you had some pot?"
-Butch and his girlfriend
"Sorry, honey, I had to crash that Honda."
|The Fifth Element
"Look, lady, I only speak two languages: English and bad English."
"That's a very nice hat."
"Sir, are you classified as human?"
"Negative. I am a meat popsicle."
-Police and Korben
"But I want to do community service. I want to teach the handicapped how to yodel."
"How's my driving? 1-800-I'M-GONNA-FUCKING-DIE!"
"I guess we see who wears the penis in this family."
"Catholic girls are scary."
"If the Mario brothers weren't New Jersey's third-largest crime family, I'd say kiss my ass, but considering your status, I will say slurp my butt."
"If DaVinci were alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi naked in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us."
"Night Hearts' signal came in sharp and clear from its Omaha home station, and listening to it in the dark while Mike yodeled softly and spookily in his bedroom helped me to view our family's hurts and troubles as part of some vast American misery that is was no disgrace to be a part of." -Justin/narrator
"My son is proud. He thinks he's made his stand. So did Michael Cobb, the footprint man." -Mike Cobb
"Honeybees did not inspire me. They scrambled over one another's bodies while carrying out dull, repetitive missions on behalf of a queen who barely noticed them." -Justin/narrator
"Words, the opposite of food..."
|Quotes from our Elijah Event
"Everything I need to know in life I learned from a buffalo."
-Keri commenting on Radio Flyer
"Don't pick your nose; your brains will fall out!"
-Mike in Radio Flyer
"If he doesn't take off that shirt right now I will lost all respect for him."
-Keri commenting on the puke shirt
"Don't talk to the tree, Merry!"
-Jennifer for the rest of the night
"How the hell is he supposed to grow up to be Tom Hanks?"
-Beth commenting on Radio Flyer
"Somehow I can't see Keanu Reeves as Elijah Wood's father."