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Love Triangle

by: Amae Plchrinn

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Rating: PG-13

Author's Notes: This is in answer to the challenge about Obi-Wan liking a girl who likes Qui-Gon who likes Obi-Wan (surprise ending!)

Disclaimers: I don't own these guys, except for Lina, though Iwould like to have a stand-up of Qui-Gon, he is such a hottie. Anyway, these guys belong to George Lucas, not me ::sigh:: But I just borrowed them for this parody, so enjoy the jedi hunks in a funny story with a surprise ending.

[Scene One: at the Jedi Temple. Enter OBI-WAN KENOBE and QUI-GON-JINN]

Obi-Wan: Master, who is that girl who seems to be following us? Qui-Gon: Oh, hey, I know her! She's a friend of mine! Come on over Padawan Lina!

[LINA appears. She is a gorgeous brunette with the perfect figure and large green eyes.]

Lina: Hey Qui-Gon! What's new at the Temple? Qui-Gon: Oh nothing much . . .just some new lightsaber techniques I picked up, that's all. Lina: I assume this then is Obi-Wan Kenobe? I've heard a lot about his charms!

[OBI-WAN blushes. QUI-GON sees this]

Qui-Gon: (thinking: No! Obi-Wan is mine! I can't let this girl get him!) Um. . .he's not all that great, I mean, he hasn't even learned to use the Force properly, if you know what I mean! (though he's so cute when he tries!) Lina: (giggling) I guess a master like you would know! (thinks: I like older men anyway) Qui-Gon: (not picking up the signals of lust she is emitting) Um, yeah I guess. Well, nice talking to ya, me and Obi-Wan have some business to attend to. Obi-Wan: I do too know how to use The Force! Lina, would you like to get together tonight? There's a great new club down in. . . Qui-Gon: uh...er, Obi-Wan we have some extra training to do tonight that I forgot to tell you about (thinks: Damn this boy moves quick! Kinda turns me on though) Lina: Oh, gee, that's too bad, cuz this is the only night I'm free (thinks: unless it's with Qui- Gon!) Obi-Wan: Master can't this wait? (engages puppy-dog eyes) Qui-Gon: (thinking: Oh hell, it's the doggy eyes! ergh. . . .) Oh allright, but it will mean extra training later! (yeah baby! I love to watch him train! Longer hours now! YES!!!)

[Scene Two: OBI-WAN and LINA at the club, sipping drinks]

Lina: .. .and I love his eyes! I bet he's a very emotional person. You can tell and he's surely a great master Jedi, you are sooo lucky to be able to be with him all the time and. . . .blah blah Qui-Gon. . .blah blahblah blah blah Qui-Gon Jinn. . .blah blah. . . Obi-Wan: Yes, well, look at the time, I guess it's time to go. I'll see you later (thinks: whew! what a letdown! she has the hots for my master! Well, I'd better not tell him, he might go after her! But I have to talk to someone about this, I feel like such a dweeb. . .oh well, I'll talk to Qui-Gon, but I won't mention that part of it!]

[Scene Three: QUI-GON and OBI-WAN in the training room]

Qui-Gon: Good job, Obi-Wan, now tackle the dummy on the right. . . . good, well, time for a break. Obi-Wan: Master, I need to talk to you about something. . . this girl, Lina, well, she doesn't seem to like me Qui-Gon: (thinking: How can she NOT like him? He's such a hunk!) Well, maybe she's not the one for you my young padawan (thinking: paddlewan, he he) Obi-Wan: But I really like her!

[QUI-GON cringes]

Qui-Gon: Well, hmm. . .I really think the Force would want you to move on and not stay tied to her. . .yah, The Force wants you to be free to experience other joys (thinks: like me). Obi-Wan: I guess. But I'll let her know in person, definitely. Would you come with me? I'll need the support Qui-Gon: Sure, Obi-Wan. (thinks: support.. .hmmm...as in up against a wall. . .he he he)

[Scene Four. OBI-WAN and QUI-GON are with LINA]

Lina: So what you're saying, is you don't want to do stuff together anymore? Obi-Wan: Yes, you see, I am afraid that your mind is not completely with me when we get together [Thinks: Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring my master, she may reveal how much she likes him!

[Glances at QUI-GON nervously]

Qui-Gon: [ thinks: Just look at how he's looking at me. . .yup, he likes me] Lina: Well, Obi-Wan, I think you're cute but, oh I can't help it anymore! I like Qui-Gon! Qui-Gon: WHAT?!! you like me?!! Lina: I know, I can't help it. . .you're such a hunk of Jedi studliness! Obi-Wan: But, Lina, I love you!!! Qui-Gon: WHAT?!! you like her?!! Obi-Wan: Yes I won't hide it anymore!!! I love you Lina! Qui-Gon: Well, as long as we're being so open about all this, I'll tell you my secret. . .I love Obi- Wan! Lina: well, it looks like there's only one way to solve this love triangle! Obi-Wan: (still trying to recover from the shock thinking: and all this time he's been watching me train with my shirt off!!) And what's that, Lina?

[LINA smiles]

[Scene Five. LINA, QUI-GON and OBI-WAN are all sprawled over a bed]

Qui-Gon: this was a marvelous idea, Lina, you are one smart padawan! Obi-Wan: I'm sorry, did I just scratch your leg? Lina: No that was my leg, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon: are you sure? It felt like mine Obi-Wan: well, it someone's leg! Lina: Hey, I just found some whipped cream and chocolate syrup! Anyone game?

[All cheer]

THE END