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Alone

by Tammy

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Kinda sad. G Rating.

Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are the sole property of George Lucas. No copyright infringement was intended and no money is being made from this endeavor.

The boy knelt in the center of the makeshift Council chamber, the Council of twelve standing around him, watching his movements carefully. The Queen had been generous and had given them the use of her Throne Room for their meeting today, indicating that the ceremony was as important as any other diplomatic function held within these walls.

Today a new Knight would enter the ranks of Jedi and Amidala was proud to be the only outsider allowed to witness such an event. Only the Council of twelve was to be present during a Knighting ceremony. Tradition dictated so.

Obi-Wan's head was bowed, an indication of respect, and, perhaps, a bittersweet joy at the timing of the ceremony.

Yoda stepped forward, he'd be the Jedi performing the honor reserved for Obi-Wan's fallen Master.

It was not difficult to feel the tension in the room. The passive looks, the glazed stares made it quite clear that it was not a joyous time, as befitting a Knighting ceremony.

When Obi-Wan raised his head, he stared at Yoda, his eyes un-wavering, un-blinking. He was still upset over his conversation with Yoda. Yes, they had given him permission to train Anakin, but Yoda did not agree with the Council's decision. Why? Yoda had been the one to inform Obi-Wan of his changing status, of the decisions of the Council. Yoda's adamant disagreement with the Council on this matter was confusing. After everything that had happened regarding Anakin, Yoda's support of the Council that his Master would not be permitted to train the boy, Yoda's challenge to the Council regarding the boys training status, had felt like a slap in the face.

The Council insulted his very experienced Master when thy denied him the right to train Anakin. Now, they were giving this honor to a new Knight who felt he didn't deserve it.

Why the would not allow non experienced Master to train this Force strong boy and instead allow his newly Knighted Padawan the task, Obi-Wan may never know. It was an insult and deep down, Obi-Wan hoped that the Council felt guilty about their decision. Because now his Master was dead and couldn't challenge the Council on its decisions.

Mace Windu was standing behind Yoda, his dark eyes focused on the Padawan kneeling at Master Yoda's feet.

Obi-Wan quelled the anger that rose in his throat like bile. This was a day he had dreamed of all his life. Had shed blood, sweat and more tears than he dared admit, to attain this goal. Now, the only man who he had wanted to be present was gone. His great Master had been replaced by a Council who didn't live the day to day life that he was used to. They didn't see all and know all. They just thought they did. How could they, when they sat in their ivory tower all day simply listening to reports.

Yoda's blue eyes caught and held Obi-Wan's. A slight nod of understanding was the only indication that he had heard all of Obi-Wan's thoughts.

"Proven you have, Obi-Wan Kenobi, that strong you are. The honor and title of Jedi Knight this Council presents to you."

At an unseen signal, each member of the Council bowed deeply to the kneeling Padawan. As Yoda raised the blade to sever his braid, Obi-Wan pulled away.

"With all due respect," Obi-Wan's voice echoed through the silent chamber. "I would like to sever my own ties to this life."

Yoda was visibly shaken though he hid his shock well. No Padawan had ever asked such a thing to his knowledge. He was at once insulted and proud. Mace Windu, however, was visibly astonished, and not the least bit happy. The Padawan of the most well known renegade Jedi the Order had ever seen, was now requesting something that his Master would have done. Had the boy learned nothing? He was too much like his Master.

The boy's blue eyes searched the gathered Masters, searching their faces. Seeing the confusion and anger there for a long-standing tradition that he was asking to break, Obi-Wan elaborated. His voice cracked as he spoke, revealing the pain and heartache he felt.

"I have worked for this day my entire life." His voice was low, but loud enough for everyone in the chamber to hear. "But it feels empty without my Master to share in this joy. So I ask that I be allowed to sever my ties to this old life, and move on with the new one my Knighting will bring."

Mace shook his head, visibly objecting with Obi-Wan's request. Kai-Adi Mundi followed. But the rest of the Council members remained silent, thinking over the young Padawan's request.

Yoda lowered his hand and turned the blade hilt towards the young man, who, he could tell, was barely holding back tears.

"An honor you do your Master, today, Obi-Wan," Master Eoth Koth spoke. "Not many speak up against the Council and ask to change a long standing tradition. And certainly none have dared so on a Knighting day."

"Master Koth," Obi-Wan began, his voice lowering once more so that he could better hide the cracking in his voice. "Master Qui-Gon wanted to see me Knighted, he wanted to be here to guide me into a new life as a Jedi Knight. He is no longer with me. He is the only one I wanted to guide me along this path. I want to walk the first steps alone. This request is not meant as an insult to the Council. It is a simple request to honor my Master."

"Unusual this is," Yoda spoke next. "Tradition this is. Never alone will you be."

"I am alone with my failures, Master Yoda. I am alone with my successes. I failed my Master in life, but I will honor him in death. I need to take the first steps into my new life alone. If you will not allow me to do that….."

"Enough." Windu interrupted, exasperated. "You dishonor Qui-Gon by delaying this ceremony. This is a tradition that will not be changed because of the death of a fellow Jedi."

Mace winced at his own words. They were harsh, but he had learned that when dealing with Qui-Gon and his foolish requests, that a firm hand was better than a lenient one. And this would transfer to his Padawan if necessary. Obi-Wan's eyes flashed at the dark-skinned Master, challenging, warning.

Fellow Council members prepared for the mental onslaught, but it never came. Obi-Wan simply knelt in place, hands clenched into fists to prevent himself from doing something he would regret later.

"If you will not allow me to do that, " he repeated much more slowly and after several deep, calming breaths, "than I will sever the braid on my own and leave the Order."

He turned a calm gaze on Yoda. "Will the Council grant this simple request? I have never before asked for such a thing."

Yoda nodded. "Granted your request will be. Sever the connection to your past life, you will. Look to the past again, you will only for guidance."

A small smiled split the young man's lips and he moved to unclip his Master's lightsaber. He made a few quick adjustments and ignited the blade, its low hum the only sound in the quiet room. He turned several small knobs and the blade became a sliver of its original size.

Pulling the braid away from his head with one hand, he leveled the blade towards his ear.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, a single tear slipped down his cheek.

"For you, Master." He whispered as the light blade severed the braid cleanly and the bound hair fell limp into his hand.

The hiss of the extinguished lightsaber filled the room and Obi-Wan lowered his head, his shoulders shaking as a few sobs slipped through his control. The Council waited in silence those few seconds, allowing the former Padawan to reflect on his changed status.

When he raised his head again, the tears were gone and his gaze was calmly transfixed on Master Yoda.

"A Knight you are, stand and join us."

Obi-Wan stood, his legs shaky, and bowed deeply to Yoda. "Thank you, Master."

"Now go, we must. To honor your Master."

The Council moved toward the large, ornate doors, but Obi-Wan remained where he was.

Mace stepped forward and Obi-Wan's head snapped toward the Master. "A moment please. I will be along before the fires are lit."

"Yes, you will. You will light them."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He knew that he could refuse the task. But his Master lay on that pyre because of his failings. Obi-Wan would not fail him again.

He needed time to center himself before he condemned his Master's body to the fires. The body was a way to hold on to the man, regardless of whether or not there was life within it.

Obi-Wan had to let go and he knew it.

Obi-Wan fell to his knees and closed his eyes, for the second time breaking down into tears. He needed to cleanse his soul before the ceremony. Crying was the only way he knew to do that. He'd always had someone there to hold him, comfort him until the tears went away. There was no one to do that now. He was a man and he needed to go on.

The healing would begin later. After all was said and done. After his Master was gone and he was left alone with an apprentice he wasn't sure how to train. The promise had been made, and Obi-Wan would honor it until his dying day. He clutched his Master's saber tightly to his chest, tears dripping from the smooth cheeks onto the polished metal.

"You were everything to me, Master. A friend, teacher, brother, father. Now I must be strong enough to fill your shoes, To be those things to my Padawan. I don't know how you did it. But I will find a way."

"If I have to walk the path alone, I will."

*Death. It is the way of things. The way of the Force.*