Its ok, its not like i actually feel
hes just a displacement of the pain i need to heal
its hard to say whether it was meant to be
when he left me blind and hoplessly lonely
its ok, its not like i cry at night
these tears i dont shed are a struggle and a fight
its hard to say whether ill make it through
no one sees me when im loosing my cool
the fits of rage that are not -
nearly makes- my heart stop-
then i await the fear that will enevitably follow
the nonexistant tears flow from my eyes that are hollow
in this rage that doesnt exist and no one can view
its the result of my feelings that i have for you
I am the light that seeks out your cold dark heart,
the light that scorches your soul's uncorrupt parts,
I'm the light that burns, irritates and scorns your thoughts of peace and happiness.
Im the light that excoriates your promises of security .
Your sense of reality is truly inferiority.
My light will wilt your soul.
It will kill your soul.
You thought I was good?
The light is encompassing you, you never guessed it was me.
I hated your darkness- but your darkness was me.
the self Hatred i have come to feel
is the love for the light that created your fear
Never heartful embraces, only lonely faces
Im alone, my sole purpose is to wonder helplessly around
With a lonely heart i watch others in pain
held back by expectations, i wait around aimlessly
im trapped in a endless cycle of pain and torment
I feel the need to run and run and never return
for to esape this suppresion of my feelings
It's always raining, its always gloomy.
Who do we think were fooling??
I see abysmal clouds of distruction and dismay.
The hopeless days of the American way!!!
War and killing, it's the weapon of choice, our famed "resolution."
Sure we're alright now! Because were fighting now!later we will feel the pain
-BUT the result of all these years are torrential tears
and countless bodies of civilian souvenirs.
I don't want to fall for him, get hurt again, and cry again
I don't want to feel for him, get crushed again, and die again
I need to move on, but theres still a chance that memories will live again
Im afraid to live again, fall in love once again, and result in misery- again
I'm Paralized by fear, I'm unable to move on, in the end, my feelings will be hurt- again
its hard to move on, its hard to adjust after such pain and anguish
Anger is supressing & tourturing my soul... hate is pushing me to hurt people more..im stuck in a daze of rage I feel the anger welling inside...expressed by tears & hollowed eyes..the feelings are taking over me, so quickly...i can barely keep control. Hate is building up more & more as the tears pour onto the floor..im drowning in rage, i need to get out, soon as i can, without doubt ill leave & never look back, my rage has pushed me as far as i can stand. I feel dizzy with anger its flowing in my veins...keeping insanity alive...just fueling the fire. Faster & faster my heart now beats... more, The thoughts in my mind are escaping. Im losing consciencness im losing my grip...the reality im in is beginning to slip...YOU are fueling my fire with your inferior ways...your sarcastic phrases mark the end of your days...your fueling the fire that you stared before...soon i cant handle this anymore..the tears are flowing more & more..when will this stop & cease to be? when will the rage end that consumes me ? Just as soon as i can feel the blood drip.
The busy confusion of the life that i have-
To make some happy- yet- mostly sad-
the maelstrom of emotions is like the fog of morning-
blind and endless- it envelops without warning
The blind confusion of life that i have-
is simply a nightmare -in the world that's quite mad-
Thinking and thinking will not help this matter because of the thoughts in my mind are simply complicated-
appreciated by some-yet disguared by many
The complicated confusion of the life that i have-
is -simply- the beginning of the end-it has changed for the worse-
im left alone and with curse----no ones here to help me.