PRISON MINISTRY - WORTHLESSNESS

Many of the problems we have experienced in our lives come from a sense of worthlessness or shame. Shame feelings can grow out of early childhood experiences that often involve physical, emotional or sexual abuse. 

Some of you come from broken families, and are the adult children of alcoholics or drug users. This type of background can cause feelings of being rejected and unloved which hinders us from living the lives God has for us.

Read what the Apostle Paul has to say in Philippians 3:13.  What does it say? ______________________________________________________________________________________

To truly put your past behind you, you need to do the following things - Look at each experience you have had, and feel the hurt of it.  Next, take it to God so He can heal your painful memories.  Maybe you will need professional help to wake up and begin the healing process, while others of you will have some other type of therapy. Take advantage of all the help that you can get.  And when you get out, you may want to continue this help.

Do you  have memories that you have trouble putting behind you? Are you pretending that they are forgotten?  If this is the case, then they will continue to haunt you.  Forgetting the past is a difficult thing to do, but with God's grace and power you will be able to forget the hurt in your past, forgive others, and even forgive yourself.  Read John 3:16,  Romans 8:38-39, and Galatians 4:5.  Does it make sense to go on seeing yourself as a loser or unlovable?  God sent His Son to die for you, and He would have done it even if you were the only person here on earth. How could you be worthless?

Let's try to understand the concept of self-image.  Self-image deals with the way we see ourselves or feel about ourselves. Sometimes we see pretty clearly, but most of the time we have negative and distorted views about ourselves. Where do these views of ourselves come from?  They come from our childhood by parents, siblings, and peers.  Ever heard - "Boy, are you stupid!" or "You sure are ugly? Or "Can't you do anything right?"

When we are children we take things personally and think that because our parents neglect us, fight with each other, or can't give us what we feel is important, it must be because we've done something wrong, or we're just unlovable.  What is ingrained in us at an early age, carries on into adulthood. 

Have you heard parents say that their children are bad.  THIS IS NOT TRUE.  We are created in God's image, therefore we are not "bad" or "worthless".  We have worth in God.  He sees us so worthy of His love that He sent His only Son to die in our place so that we may spend eternity with Him.  Isn't this just an awesome concept?  Keep this in mind that though we may do bad things, we ourselves are not bad.

You cannot have a healthy relationship with people if your self- image is distorted and inaccurate. It hurts the ability to have a good relationship.  If you are experiencing a poor self- image of yourself, then you have a negative view of the seeing the world.  This view of life causes a very self protective and fearful approach to relationships.

Here are some results of a poor self- image - Can you identify any of these in your life?

1.       Lack of confidence in social skills

2.       Defensiveness in behavior and conversation

3.       Self-defeating habits and behaviors

4.       A sense of masculinity felt only through sexual conquests

5.       A view of the present as something to be pushed aside, focusing instead on past achievements or future dreams.

6.       Use of anger as a defense to keep from getting hurt

7.       Fear of intimacy, because it might lead to rejection or a smothering relationship

8.       Inability to express emotions

9.       A critical and judgmental view of others

10.    An attitude of carrying a chip on their shoulder

11.    Dependence on material possessions for security

12.    Interpretation of their world as hostile and overpowering

13.    A shifting of responsibility to others for unwanted or negative situations or feelings

If you can identify with any of the above, there is a way to bring about change.

How do I do this? First of all you need to know that having a healthy self-image is not a prideful thing, where you think too highly of yourself.  Read Romans 12:3, 1 Corinthians 6:20, 1 Peter 1: 18-19, Genesis 1: 26-27, and Genesis chapter one.  Your worth is not about what you have done to make yourself look good, but about what God has done in and through you.   Read 1 Corinthians 15: 10.  Take time to learn who you are in Christ.

Is love of self a sin? No, in God's view of things, loving yourself is to be expected and normal.  In both the Old and New Testaments, God uses the love of self as an example of how we should love others.  Read Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, and Ephesians 5:33.

If you are experiencing a poor self-image and do not love yourself, how can you get to a place where you have an accurate and positive self-image?  Here's what you do - Begin by first asking God to help you turn this around, and help you develop a positive view of yourself.  Take stock of all the positives you have in your favor. As you continue to do this, your positive thoughts will become a part of you, and eventually they will be your self-image.

Let's start by making a list of things you have done that you feel good about - a list of positive qualities.  List those things first that you think you have done well.  Next ask your friends what they like about you.  You may want to ask your spouse, parents, aunts, uncles, chaplain, an outside brother or anyone else that you can think of.  Remember, only list good things.  God already knows your list, but the problem is you don't. You may be thinking, "I don't have anything to list?  Not true my friend.  If you need help with your list, I will help you.

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Use another sheet to list more if needed.  This will be your positive list, and you will want to keep this updated.

This list will help you learn to feel good as the person god created you to be.  When you do, you'll be content regardless of your circumstances.

Keep this list for the rest of your life.  When you get down on yourself, read your list and realize that the negative things you are thinking just aren't true. 

God sees in you a potential for goodness.  Read Ephesians  1:4.  God values your life.  He sees you as one of His unique creations. Read Psalm 139: 13-16.  It takes courage and strength to live this new life, but Christ gives you the tools (His Word) to do what He wants of you. Read Philippians 4:13, 2 Timothy 1:7, and Romans 8:3.  YOU ARE WORTHY!