Purity and Love, 1 Thessalonians 4:3

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality."

     In case there is any question at all that we should be a people who are set apart to remain pure and undefiled, Paul, by the influence of the Holy Spirit, pens these words: It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality. And what is sexual immorality? It is anything that is outside of God's intentions for the sexual relationship. And what was God's intention for the sexual relationship? That one man, and one woman, who are joined together in the bonds of marriage, should leave their mother and father and become one flesh ("one flesh" signifying the union of their bodies through a sexual relationship). Anything outside of this definition is considered sexual immorality, or fornication, by God. We read in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11,

"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

     To believe that you can go ahead and participate in sexually immoral conduct and be in right standing with God is to utterly deceive yourself-- Be not deceived, the sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. But there is hope, as with God there is grace and forgiveness found in Christ Jesus. When we repent of our sin, turning toward Jesus and asking for His forgiveness, we are cleansed and washed by His blood. But there can be no practicing of sin, that is, to live for your own selfish desires and in total disregard for the commands of God and still think you are in right standing with God. To think so is to be deceived, and in the hardness of your heart you may be in danger of judgement. We read in 1 John 3:10,

"In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practive righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother."

     It is easy to think that you are in love, and that because you are in love and are sure you will be married to the person you are with that it is perfectly acceptable to go ahead with the physical aspects of the relationship, but this is not God's opinion. Nowehere has God said anything of the sort. Rather, God has said through the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails."

     Love is patient. That means that true love will wait until marriage to fulfill its sexual desires. Love is not self-seeking. This means that each person should seek the best for the other person, not only to gratify their own desires. In so doing, one would realize that causing someone to violate the commandments of God is not in anyone's best interests, and that because entering into a sexual relationship before marriage is not God's will, that they would be stealing a wonderful gift given by God, the gift of being able to experience the sexual relationship with that perfect person God has for them, and to be able to give the gift of purity to their spouse.
     Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Teenagers who are "in love" (I put this in quotes not because I think that they don't believe they are in love, since they often do, but because it is not God's definition of love) will often times sneak around behind their parents' backs and start to engage in sexual activity. They get a thrill out of it, not only the sexual fulfillment, but the fact that they are doing something they ought not to do. They feel as though they have the right to do this, and that their parents are hindering them. But love does not delight in evil-- and this, according to God, is evil. Rather, it rejoices in the truth: If you love someone, you would be willing to admit you have problems with sexual temptation, and since it is God's will that you abstain from sexual activity before marriage, you do not put yourself in any place where you can possibly fall into sin, even if that means ending relationships. If it's God's will for two to be married, He can work through all of this. Love is patient, and love hopes all things, endures all things, and believes all things: Love never fails.
     Love always protects, and always trusts. It is not protection for anyone to prematurely take away a person's purity. This is rather hurting the person. You ought to be able to trust the one you care about also, not constantly being on guard against sexual temptation.

     It is hard to see and understand the damages that premature (before marriage) sexual activity can cause (and this is not only the full act of sex itself, but any and all sorts of sexual activity), but they are real. There are irreversable consequences. Even if you remain free from disease or manage not to have children, you still have lost something that you can never get back, your viriginity. This is a wonderful gift that you give to the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. How shamefull, no matter how God has cleansed you, will you feel on that day when you will have to confess to your soon-to-be spouse that you are not pure, that you have defiled your body?
     God can cleanse you, and He most certainly does. And He does restore a sense of purity to you, and it may even be a greater sense of purity than you have prior to coming to Him. But nonetheless, you have still lost, and permanently, that one thing, that special gift which God had intended for you to give to your spouse. It may not seem like anything special, but think of this: How beautiful and wonderful do you think it would be to first, find the guy (sorry guys, I'm a girl so I'm using this example) of your dreams, have him propose on bended knee, walk down the isle, exchange vows, and have that long-awaited kiss-- and then on your wedding night, experience for the first time with the one you are madly and passionately in love with the awesome gift of God, that sexual relationship?
     Or, it could happen like this: You meet the man of your dreams, you fall in love, he proposes on bended knee. You have to tell him you are not a virgin. You have to let him know what's gone on, after all, you will belong to him and thus he has a right to know. You walk down the isle toward the one you love, exchange your vows, and have that long-awaited kiss-- and then on your wedding night, that long-awaited time comes. But it's not like other people you've been with. He doesn't fulfill you in the same way. Or maybe you think to yourself, I hope I don't compare him to other people. Or perhaps you think, I hope he doesn't think about the other people I've been with and about how impure I am.
     YES, you are completely and totally forgiven and cleansed-- but you still have to live with that knowledge of what you have done, and giving yourself away cannot be undone, no matter how many years pass by. Imagine the pain in knowing that your spouse has remained pure and undefiled and has this gift to give you, and that you cannot return it? No doubt, God will be gracious and merciful and will keep your mind from such things on your wedding night, your having truly repented and been cleansed of all sin. But how much more wonderful would it be if you had that gift to give-- the gift of sexuality that only your spouse has experienced.