Losing Your Life, Matthew 10:39

"He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it."

I would like to comapare this verse with a few others:

Matthew 16:25,
"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it."
Mark 8:35,
"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for My sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it."
Luke 9:24,
"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for My sake, the same shall save it."
Luke 17:33,
"Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it."
John 12:25,
"He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal."

     The Lord really spoke to me this morning as I read Matthew 10:39 in my devotional. Last night was a time of breaking for me, a time where the Lord humbled me greatly, shedding light and truth on who I was becoming and putting things into perspective for me. So this morning when I read this verse, it almost shocked me. That is what I have been doing! Trying to find life, trying to save myself from heartbreak. But in doing so, I had lost what was important: My passion for God, my desire for spiritual things. Caring for the things of the earth took so much energy that I was completely dried up spiritually. But the Lord is so wonderfully faithful! I love that it says He is faithful even when we are faithless. How joyful and blessed is the chastening of the Lord! For in His chastening we are brought back to His feet, to a place of peace and joy here we are comforted by His Spirit and able to worship freely in His presence.
     It's amazing how much we miss when we spend our time seeking the things of the world. They may be good things that the Lord Himself wants to give us, such as a home or a family or a spouse. But when we take our focus off of seeking the Lord and start to seek these things, we can get caught up and even brought into bondage to these things. In my own life, I have to admit, it is the event of seeking the latter of those things afore mentioned. And although the person I am interested in is a godly person and loves the Lord with a passion I could only hope to attain myself, somehow, one step at a time I moved slowly away from that place of seeking the Lord's will in my life to seeking the Lord's will in my life regarding that person. It's a very slight difference, but one that makes all the difference.
     I spent way too much time thinking about this person and praying about the situation, to the point that I loathed even having feelings for this person because I just wanted the whole thing out of my mind. I had come to a place where I was jealous of people because they were passionate about God and about serving Him, because I knew that I didn't have that same desire in my heart. And through my crying out to the Lord, He showed me (He is so faithful to speak through His servants!) that I had not been still, and I had not been listening to Him, and I had done that very thing which He told me not to do before this whole thing started, which was not to take things into my own hands! What a disobedient and foolish person I had become, and without even realizing it. All because I was trying to avoid having my heart broken.

     Is it possible to avoid such foolish disasters as this, and to keep ourselves from drifting away imperceptibly into a spiritual desert where the voice of God is a distant memory? Jesus says so! It's all in dying to ourselves, in not taking care for this life, in giving up this life in order to gain a better life: spiritual life. Once I was still enough and desperate enough to listen to what He was trying to show me, the Lord gave me a peace about giving it all up: giving up trying to see this person I am interested in, giving up trying to get to know him. Just giving it up and dying to it. This is not to say that the feelings I have for this person are gone, but that they are safely in the hands of the Lord, and my heart is also safely in the hands of the Lord-- where it belongs. It is the Lord who will make anything happen if He chooses, and nothing I can do will change it one way or the other. It is foolish to try and press on toward an earthly goal. My life verse, one of a few, that the Lord gave me is Philippians 3:12-14:

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

     It's not about pressing on toward an earthly goal, but about walking with Jesus and doing that which He has purposed for us to do. He has saved us and called us and predestined good works for us! When we are so caught up in what He is going to do in regards to this or that part of our lives, trying to push and struggle and attain as though He needed our help for us to receive His blessings, we miss out on so much. Not only do we become side-tracked from walking in those works which He preordained for us, but we grow deaf to His voice and we lose our passion for the things of the Spirit.