| Dear Friends and Siblings, As a parent I never thought I would be writing this letter. On 21 January 1999, we got the shock of our live when our son Mitchell died. After a week-end in October 1998 his fluctuating temperature drove us to and from the doctor but we were told it was just a bad viral infection. Then Monday morning Oct 26 1998 the doctors diagnosed Mitch's leukemia. Strange as it seems, he had the good one (ALL). We were very grateful. we never thought he would die from it. We were shocked when he picked up a virus in January and a week later our beautiful son was gone. Such a brave little boy through it all, taking it like a little man......... The injections, the pills, he would even tell the nurses what veins to use for the chemo. A week after he died, he would have turned 8....... A day that we can't remember as we still lived in this daze of "It's not true! Its not happening to us!" The numbness wore off. The reality set in. And then came the pain...... My son is not here. The tears started flowing. I never knew I could cry so much. I'd been hiding my feelings, trying to be brave. I'd been trying to go around the grief. This has hit me so hard. I know you understand. I was in a bad way, put off work for 7 weeks and hospitalized. I'v now learnt you can't go around the grief, you have to go through it. You can't deny your feelings no matter how hard you try. My son was and still is part of our life. During his short illness we were not allowed to cry in front of him but close to the end, he was put on oxygen (we still didn't believe he was going to die) but Sanet started crying. Mitch ask her why she was crying and she replied she'd hurt her toe. "Don't cry, mommy " Mitch said, "The pain will be over soon." For him, the pain is over, but ours continues. His last words to us as we stood at his bed side were, "Mommy, daddy, I love you, I'll see you now, now." What a glorious moment that will be. A very sad thing is my garage is always clean now and my tools are where I put them last. When I was looking for a tool, I could just go to Mitch's room and find it in his cupboard. He loved taking things apart, especially his cars and hammering them together again. We just hope that God has a back-up computer system as Mitch loved reprogramming computers. This is my last Fathers Day poem from my son, written by Mitch. My Super Duper Dad My dad likes to build cars. My dad loves biltong. I love my dad. He is funny when he tickles me. I love my dad. He is the best in the world. To All Fathers; Work through the pain, and not around it. I know there is still a long road before me, but through the help of God, and The Compassionate Friends I will make it. May God Bless You All by Dean Nienaber |
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| We look upon his photograph.... That face so young and gay changes not As we must change with every passing day We'll grow old and weary Sometimes happy Sometimes sad But he, beyond the reach of time, Will always be our lad. Love You always Mommy, Daddy, Gareth and Taneal |
| visit Mitch's memorial by just clicking on his photo. |
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| Can You Heal Pain Can you heal pain? The definition of heal ~~ Is to cure. The definition of pain ~~ Is hurt or discomfort by injury or suffering. So it could be very easy to heal pain, I could easily heal a headache or and injury. A tablet will take away the pain. But how do I heal the pain in my heart? Oh, I have tried to heal the pain and the many tears~~ But it always comes back. On those special days the pain is unbearable!!!! Then I think, "If only the pain would go away." After two years of trying to heal the pain, I realized that it can not be cured. The only time my pain will be cured is When I am with my darling son, Mitchell..... What a glorious day that will be. God Bless Sanet |
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| I Hear An Angel I have always been fascinated with wind chimes. I have them all over my house and garden. I realized the chimes makes the wind visible by dancing with it. We have one special chime that Dean and I bought on our honeymoon. Until Mitchell's death it has never chimed~~~ We had even thought of moving it~~ But then a week after Mitchell's death, it chimed for the first time on his birthday. What a shock it was for us.... but then at the same time we were blessed with a warm feeling And we knew it had came from above: "When you hear the chime, think of me Think of our love and our memories~~ I'll be back with you on those days your feeling sad~ And with my chime singing I'll try to take the pain and tears away. When ever you hear the chime It is my message from above, just to say I Love You All." I have come to realize there are things in life are just as real as the wind that we can only see with our hearts. The wind chime has in the last two years chimed only a few times. Now we will never move it again. The chime has been named "Mitchell's Chime" Our Angel Chime There are times when my heart still aches and I pause for a moment to look at our angel chime~~ And my spirits lifts As once again I hear my angel Mitchell from the journal of Sanet |