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Letter to Mom
From Jason
Mom, please don't feel guilty
It was just my time to go.
I see you are still feeling sad
And the tears just seem to flow.

We all come to earth for our lifetime
And for some, its not many years.
I don't want you to keep crying,
You are shedding so many tears.

I haven't  really left you,
Even though  it may seem so.
I have just gone to my heavenly home,
And I am closer to you than you know.

Just believe when you say my name,
I am standing next to you.
I know that you want to see me,
But there is nothing I can do.

But I'll still send you messages,
And I hope you understand.
That  when your time comes to "cross-over"
I'll be there to take your hand.

                                                         By Joy Curnutt
HOME
Feelings

I feel that I'v just existed
And now it's been a year.
I don't know how I've lived and breathed
Without you being here.

I know you've lived your lifetime
As short as that seems to me,
But the pain in my heart is still so great,
Yet I know that your spirit is free.

At times I think I hear you,
The thoughts come to my mind.
I struggle for the sound of your voice,
But your voice I can not find.

Yet you come to me in many ways,
So I know you did not die,
You want to tell me your  close,
And to please stop asking why.

Our lives on earth seem all to brief,
Or brief as it seems to me.
But where you are is forever
GOD calls that ETERNITY.
by Joy Curnutt
Written in memory of
~Jason Wayne Curnutt~
11/26/74 ~  4/11/99
The Light In Me Salutes The Light In You

I believe we are here on this planet  to experience what it means to be a Spirit in a physical body. The greater the experience, the deeper it touches our soul.  This includes pleasure and pain,  happiness and sadness, hope and despair, lightness and darkness.  For we can not know one without the other.  This is a time to experience our grief.  I pray that we all give ourselves that right and  honor our grieving process.  Through grief we heal.  These are the things I grieve for:
I grieve for the loss of my only brother

I grieve that I will never come home to see him sitting in the living room to say hello

I grieve that we will never laugh together again,
that I will never experience that rich and unique humor that only he and I shared

I grieve that the world will no longer get to enjoy his humanness and his many gifts

I grieve that I will never see my brother in love, that
I will never see him as a father or with a family of his own

I grieve that we will no longer share and inspire each other with the music we both love.

I grieve that we will never get to work on a creative multi-media project together, this was a vision I held for the future

I grieve that I didn't share enough of my life experiences with my brother and that I could have opened my heart even more.

I grieve for all of the people that Jason touched and the feelings of pain and loss they are experiencing.

This is what I grieve for,  through death new life is birthed and though we can not see it now, from Jason's death we will all experience new life.  If we allow ourselves to grieve fully, the new life will become apparent.  I love the spirit that gave me the priviledge and pleasure of being my brother and I am grateful to experience 24 years of his beauty on this planet.

April  11  1999   
Jeff Curnutt ~~  In honor of his brother,  Jason
Jeff                        and                      Jason
Think Of  Me

Think of me and know  I am with you,
Think of me and smile.
Think of me and know that our parting,
Is only for a while.
On the days that you feel so desparate,
To see my smiling face
Just believe in your heart I am with you,
And that I'm in a beautiful place.
So think of me and remember
All the memories in your heart,
And believe and know that this is true,
We are never really apart.

Joy Curnutt
Always  Jason's  mom
The Decision

Thanks Mom,  for your decision,
I'm really proud of you.
For you did something wonderful,
You knew I'd want you to.

We came to earth to show love,
And to give as much as we can.
You made the decision to give part of me,
Knowing I'd help my fellow man.

I know that sometimes there's still saddness,
and you really miss seeing me.
Know that I'm always with you,
Just not physically.

You wear the green ribbon proudly,
And love for people to ask.
To tell them your son was a donor
Is part of your work and task.

Mom,  where I am now is wonderful,
It's beautiful and I don't care.
Remember,  don't take your organs and tissue to heaven,
Cause we don't need them there.

copyright  2001
by  Joy Curnutt
inspired by Jason
11-26-74      4-11-99
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