Shadow of the Past
Vejiita reacted to the attack instinctively,
sliding sideways while twisting to keep himself facing his opponent. Goku’s
fist flew past his ear with a whooshing sound, and Vejiita took advantage of
the other Saiya-jin’s unguarded moment to ram his own fist into Goku’s stomach,
then kick the larger man’s legs out from underneath him. Vejiita allowed no
moment of hesitation for his opponent to regain his feet, instead lashing out
with a vicious kick that sent Goku tumbling away, then leaping into the air and
coming down hard, both feet landing on Goku’s chest with crushing force.
Goku gave a short, pained cry, his lips curling
upward in a grimace as his ribs nearly cracked. His eyes snapped open and he
glared at the small Prince who was crouched predatorily on his chest, an
arrogant smirk on his face, his black eyes gleaming.
With a snarl, Goku brought up his hand and
shoved violently against Vejiita’s chest, sending the other man flying backward
through the air. Vejiita twisted in mid-flight and landed easily as Goku
snapped to his feet, eyes still narrowed with anger.
"Vejiita!" he growled, almost
shouting. "What is the matter with you?!"
The short Saiya-jin folded his arms across his
chest, assuming his typical posture. "Nothing’s wrong with me,
Kakarrot," he snorted, "It’s not my problem if you’re still clinging
to your ridiculous notion of ‘fair play.’"
Goku seemed to bristle in anger. "We’re
only sparring, Vejiita! Can’t you even find the decency to do that
honestly?!"
"There was nothing ‘dishonest’ about my
manner of fighting, baka," Vejiita snapped, "Your problem is that you
expect everyone to fight like you, the pure-hearted idiot warrior. It’s a
wonder you’re not dead by now through your sheer stupidity."
Goku hissed, his lips lifting as he bared his
teeth at Vejiita in a display that was so stunningly Saiya-jin the prince
paused in surprise. He recovered himself quickly, masking his astonishment with
an arrogant smirk. It’s amazing how much Kakarrot has changed, he mused,
then scowled at the errant thought.
"There is nothing weak or foolish about
mercy, Vejiita," Goku said angrily, "Without it you wouldn’t be
standing there now."
Muscles in Vejiita’s jaw clenched as he gritted
his teeth, a furious flush darkening his skin at the reminder of his defeat at
Goku’s hands.
Goku felt a very mild twinge of smugness at
Vejiita’s discomfiture, but mostly he wished that the Saiya-jin prince wouldn’t
let it bother him so much. He honestly wished he knew why Vejiita was so driven
to beat him. And not only him, but anyone who showed himself to be stronger
than the small man.
"If the situations were reversed now, I’d
kill you," Vejiita ground out, his cheeks still a heated red.
Bile rose in Goku’s throat at Vejiita’s words,
along with bitter anger. He knew that he cared about Vejiita, for some reason
considered him his friend, but heaven help him if he knew why. What in the hell
went on in Vejiita’s head? But he didn’t think the other man would really kill
him now, despite his words. Would he?
"How can you be such a heartless bastard,
Vejiita?" Goku said coldly, "What the hell happened to you to make you
like this?"
Even as he asked the question, Goku realized
that he really did want to know. He wanted to know what had transformed Vejiita
from the innocent child he must have been at one time to the ruthless killing
machine he had become as an adult. Because he knew that Vejiita was not truly
evil at heart. It might have seemed so at first, but he now knew with certainty
that the other Saiya-jin had a conscience buried in him somewhere.
Vejiita laughed. "What makes you think
anything happened? I’m a Saiya-jin, maybe I was born this way."
Goku gazed coolly at him, then folded his arms
as well. "Bullshit."
Vejiita blinked at him, again surprised at
Goku’s mannerisms. Goku smiled to himself, silently blessing Gohan for the wish
he had made just slightly more than two years ago now. It was strange that none
of them had thought of it until then. His son had gathered the dragonballs and
wished that Goku’s original intelligence be returned to him, so that he could
be what he might have been were it not for that accident in his childhood.
There was some concern that he would turn into a violent, blood-craving
lunatic, but he still retained all of his memories of his life from before that
point, and he had remained Son Goku, with slight exceptions. He was more aggressive
and forceful now, some of his original Saiya-jin personality breaking through
again. It was also discovered that he did indeed possess a great deal of
intelligence, placing him very nearly at the level of the cunning prince who
stood before him.
"You weren’t born like this, Vejiita,"
he continued.
Vejiita snorted. "How would you know,
Kakarrot? What makes you think I’m not simply evil?"
"Because no one’s born evil, and I know for
certain that you’re not, Vejiita. I know that you care, however much you try to
hide it. I just want to know why you hide it. Why are you so vicious to
the people who care about you?" Goku asked quietly
"Don’t be a fool, Kakarrot!" Vejiita
snapped. "No one cares about me, and I don’t care about anything! You’re
deluding yourself!"
"No, you’re lying to yourself!" Goku
said, frustrated. "Are you going to try and tell me that you don’t care
about Trunks?"
Vejiita’s lips compressed into a thin line
before he spat, "The boy has nothing to do with this!"
"But he does," Goku insisted. "Since
Bulma and Chi Chi died, you’ve raised him on your own. You’re claiming that you
don’t care about your son?"
"He was an infant, Kakarrot!" Vejiita
growled, "There was no way he could take care of himself at the time! He
was my responsibility! That’s all!"
"Mmm," Goku said, raising an eyebrow
at the prince. "Now he’s eighteen, but you’re still looking out for him.
Do you think I don’t notice that? Yes, you care about him Vejiita. What I want
to know is why you hurt the people you care for. What happened to you as a
child?"
Vejiita glared at him, saying nothing.
Goku sighed in irritation. "I think I’ve
got a right to know why the hell you’re always trying to beat me up, trying to
be better than everyone. I’ve known you for more than twenty years now,
Vejiita, but I don’t know anything about your past."
"What happened in my past is none of your
business, Kakarrot," Vejiita hissed at him.
Goku looked at him for a moment before he said,
his voice quieter. "Why don’t you tell me? Sometimes it helps to talk
about it."
Why can’t the fool just leave me alone?! Vejiita thought, his hands fisting. I don’t want him
to care about what I’m feeling!
"It helps to talk about it?!" Vejiita
sneered, "What do you know about anything?! You have no idea what you’re
asking for! You know nothing about my life!!"
"That’s exactly my point!" Goku
shouted at him, "I think it’s time I did!"
Inwardly, he was genuinely concerned about his
friend. Saiya-jin telepathy had allowed him to briefly touch Vejiita’s mind at
different times during their long relationship, and what he had felt in those
brief moments were really what kept him believing that Vejiita could be a good
person, he knew. What he had felt also troubled him a great deal. Something was
eating Vejiita up from the inside, but until now he hadn’t had the opportunity
or the courage to confront him about it.
"This is ridiculous, Kakarrot,"
Vejiita snapped, turning as though he would fly away.
"You’re a coward, Vejiita," Goku said
coldly, angry eyes hiding concern.
Vejiita whipped around to face him again, hot
fury sending the air around him trembling.
"What?!" he roared.
"I said you’re a coward. It’s not that you
don’t think it’s my business, it’s that you’re afraid. You’re running away from
whatever’s bothering you."
"Whatever’s bothering me?!"
Vejiita nearly whispered, his face now strangely pale, though his black eyes
sparkled with rage. "You don’t know what you’re talking about,
Kakarrot."
"Then why don’t you tell me?" Goku
said evenly, though his frustration was quickly slipping into rage. He wished
Vejiita would just trust him.
"You could not even beat it out of
me," Vejiita said quietly, his flat statement disturbing Goku a great
deal. Vejiita was no longer bothering to deny that something had gone wrong in
his past.
"Fine," Goku growled, "Then we’ll
do this the hard way."
Closing his eyes, he thanked God for his
foresight in making his last wish with the dragonballs. Taking a slow breath,
he called on them silently, requesting that they come to him.
The last time he had gathered the dragonballs,
he had wished that he would be able to summon them to himself when he wanted to
make a wish, instead of having to waste time searching for them.
Now the magical spheres came racing to him from
all over the world, leaving slowly fading trails in the wake of their passage.
Vejiita was gaping at him as the dragonballs
settled to the ground at Goku’s feet.
"What-"
"Nevermind," Goku interrupted,
"I’ll tell you later."
Nodding in determination, he resolved that he
would indeed make his wish. He called out to the dragon, summoning the great
beast, and as it coiled in the sky above the two Saiya-jins, he spoke his wish.
"Show me what happened in Vejiita’s past to
make him what he is."
There was a choking gasp. "Kakarrot!"
Vejiita screamed, the panic in his voice shocking. "No, stop!"
"Your wish is granted," the dragon
rumbled. Then he faded from the sky, and the dragonballs arched away from Goku,
spreading across the world once again.
Goku glanced over at Vejiita. The Saiya-jin
prince’s face was drained of color, his dark eyes fixed on Goku in horror.
Suddenly life-sized images flickered into being
before them, as though an enormous television screen had appeared out of
nowhere, but the two of them were drawn into it as the woods around them melted
away, revealing in its place the cold gray walls of a space ship.
"Oh my God," Vejiita whispered,
sounding nothing like the confident warrior Goku had always known. He again
glanced over at the prince and saw that the small man’s gloved hand had
unconsciously gone to his throat. Goku felt a faint twinge of anxiety in his
heart, but he said nothing.
Goku and Vejiita watched as two figures appeared
in the room. Goku hissed as he recognized both of them. The first, small figure
was Vejiita himself, but much younger; a little Saiya-jin child with a furry
brown tail wrapped around his waist. The next was Frieza.
Goku unconsciously growled low in his throat,
his hands curling into fists. Next to him, adult Vejiita’s hand had also curled
into a fist against his collar bone, and the other arm was placed against his
stomach in what seemed a strangely protective gesture.
Goku’s attention was drawn back to the two
images as Frieza began to speak.
"Well, little princeling, it seems your
father has seen fit to deliver you into my care. Surprised? You didn’t honestly
think he would worry about what happened to you, did you?"
Young Vejiita said nothing, his arms folded over
his chest and his royal head raised haughtily.
Frieza chuckled deep in his throat and stalked
slowly toward the Saiya-jin boy. His clawed fingers trailed lightly over
Vejiita’s squared shoulders. "So proud for such a young child. Only nine
standard years."
Bending over so his lips were next to Vejiita’s
ear, he whispered, "I’ll take good care of you, princeling."
Vejiita gasped in surprise as Frieza shoved him
forward suddenly, causing him to lose his balance and fall to his hands and
knees, his tail snapping from side to side in the air. Frieza caught the furry
tail in his clawed hand and squeezed tightly, causing Vejiita to scream in pain
and collapse forward onto his belly. Then the little prince clenched his teeth
to stifle his cry, and Frieza chuckled again, releasing his tail.
"Now," he hissed, "Don’t move."
Goku stiffened in horror as Frieza’s claws
shredded through Vejiita’s shirt, then ripped it off him. There were light
scratches down the boy’s back, tiny beads of blood beginning to well up in
them.
"No," Goku whispered as he watched
Frieza roughly tear off the rest of the Vejiita’s clothing. Vejiita fought
violently as Frieza’s body came down on top of his, pinning him to the ground,
but his struggles only served to amuse his captor, who gripped his shoulders
tightly, claws sinking deeply into Vejiita’s flesh.
Goku remembered the scars on Vejiita’s
shoulders. His eyes slitted, he could hardly bear to watch what was happening.
After tormenting him for long moments,
alternately clawing and fondling him, Frieza came into him violently, and
Vejiita screamed in pain, still trying futilely to twist out of the alien’s
grip. Goku’s heart felt as if it were being torn in two as he watched crystal
tears spill down the young prince’s cheeks, dripping from his chin to splash
onto the floor beneath him.
A long time later, Frieza left him. Vejiita was
as still as death, lying naked on the floor, blood and tears smeared across the
cold metal beneath him. Then, very slowly, the young Saiya-jin sat up, trying
to keep his face blank and emotionless. His hands were shaking as he gradually
dragged himself to his feet, limping over to what was left of his pants. He did
not cry again. Very carefully, he drew on the tattered piece of clothing, then
picked up a scrap of his shirt and began to wipe the blood from his shoulders and
arms. His face was set in stone. One last tear slipped down his cheek, in
contrast to the startling emptiness of his expression. It dripped, sparkling
onto the floor, and Vejiita gazed at the blood soaked rag clenched in his fist.
"I will be the strongest," the
Saiya-jin whispered.
Slowly, the scene melted away, and Goku and
Vejiita were once more standing in the bright, cheerful forest, birds
twittering happily in absurd contrast to what they had just seen.
Goku wanted to vomit. He wanted to cry. He wanted
to hug Vejiita. God only knew how many other times Frieza had come to the
prince.
Hesitantly, he turned to look at the short man
standing a few feet away from him. Vejiita’s face was drawn and pale, and he
seemed to be shaking very faintly. He took a slow breath and licked his lips,
then suddenly turned to look at Goku.
A stunning rage crossed the smaller man’s face,
his features twisting violently, his bared teeth gleaming in the sunlight.
"Kakarrot, you fucking son of bitch, I’ll
kill you!!" he screamed, his voice almost cracking in his rage.
With shocking speed, Vejiita blasted into Super
Saiya-jin level two, the air around him singing with his energy. With a furious
roar, he launched himself at Goku, his now aqua eyes glittering madly.
Goku narrowly slid out of the way, adrenaline
rushing through him as he watched Vejiita carefully, flickering up to SSJ2 as
well, if only to match Vejiita’s stunning speed. He only wanted to be able to
dodge Vejiita’s offensive, he didn’t want to hurt the other Saiya-jin.
Vejiita attacked him blindly, swinging his fists
at Goku’s head with all of his considerable strength behind them. The air
crackled around the two Super Saiya-jins as they moved at speeds too fast for
the normal eye to follow, Vejiita trying with all of his might to destroy Goku,
Goku seeking only to remain unharmed while Vejiita spent his rage. The battle
moved from the forest floor to the clouds above and back again.
Vejiita launched a vicious punch at Goku’s
sternum, but Goku had seen the move coming and slid to the side, only to have
Vejiita’s other hand chop into his neck, the clever prince having anticipated
Goku’s movement. Goku winced and blasted away from Vejiita, the prince
following him closely, his face a frozen mask of anger. Then Goku suddenly
flipped around in his flight, completely reversing directions and flying back
underneath Vejiita, who cursed as he tried to check his own speed. Goku slipped
up behind the prince and locked his arms around Vejiita’s upper body, pinning
the Saiya-jin’s arms to his sides and locking Vejiita in place with his back
against Goku’s chest.
Vejiita roared in rage and struggled violently,
twisting like a fish in Goku’s powerful grip. Goku swore as he felt himself
begin to lose his hold on the smaller man, and in desperation summoned his ki,
an explosion of power rocking the area as he increased to SSJ3.
Vejiita’s struggling suddenly became much easier
to handle, and he clamped the prince against him firmly.
"Vejiita, stop!" he shouted, hoping to
break through his friend’s insane rage.
Something that sounded disturbingly like a sob
ripped from Vejiita’s throat, then transformed into a blood-curling howl
halfway.
"God damn you, Kakarrot!!" he
screamed, and there was such angry, desperate pain in his voice that Goku felt
his throat tighten.
"NO!," Vejiita continued to scream,
tearing his throat raw, "God dammit, I won’t let you defeat me
again!"
Vejiita’s words then melted into an enraged
roar, and Goku tensed as the air around the Saiya-jin prince distorted with
energy waves, crackling and popping as it rippled away from them like water in
a pond. There was a tearing sound, and Vejiita’s scream increased in strength,
his eyes going completely white. Suddenly Vejiita’s already wild golden hair
exploded in Goku’s face, nearly tripling its length as Goku felt Vejiita’s
muscles bulge noticeably, his body increasing in size and weight. Goku’s eyes
widened in surprise and terror.
"Shit!"
Vejiita had just become a Super Saiya-jin level
three.
In his shock, Goku loosened his hold slightly,
and, with his newly acquired strength Vejiita easily broke out of his arms,
twisting, his hand curling into a fist and striking sharply across Goku’s face.
Goku spun backwards in the air, wincing at the strength
of the blow. Dammit, Vejiita had become powerful.
Just as he righted himself in the air, Vejiita
charged at him again, his golden aura blazing brightly around him.
At first, Goku again tried to simply avoid
Vejiita’s blows, but Vejiita’s speed had increased along with his strength, and
he was not doing well. He noticed, though, that Vejiita’s attacks were a bit
clumsy, lacking the prince’s typical grace. He blasted away from the Saiya-jin,
looking over his shoulder and trying to decide what was happening. He then
noticed the way Vejiita slapped angrily at the long hair that swung over his
shoulder and smiled faintly. Vejiita had never been a SSJ3 before. He was not
used to dealing with the added distraction of his long, heavy SSJ3 hair. But it
wasn’t enough of a distraction to keep his fists from connecting with Goku more
often than Goku liked. He was going to have to fight back.
Twisting sharply in his flight path, Goku
abruptly summoned his energy and hurled a ki blast at Vejiita’s quickly
approaching face. It was not enough to seriously injure the prince, but it did
force Vejiita to stop his pursuit for a moment, dodging out of the way and
cursing. Goku rounded on him, slamming his elbow into Vejiita’s cheek and
snapping the prince’s head to the side. He brought up his knee and drove it
into his friend’s stomach.
Vejiita grunted in pain, and Goku knew he had
hit him so easily because the prince had not been expecting him to suddenly
attack, as he had only been running from Vejiita during the rest of the fight.
But he couldn’t let up now. No mercy, not yet. He had to take advantage of
Vejiita’s inexperience with SSJ3, and of his initial quick attack. Steeling
himself, he quickly smashed one fist, then the other into Vejiita’s face,
watching blood begin to spill from Vejiita’s nose. He twisted into a spinning
kick, sending Vejiita flying through an enormous tree, and dove after him,
seeing that the prince was dazed. Lacing his hands together, he brought them
down with crushing force on the back of Vejiita’s neck.
Crying out, the prince fell to the ground,
landing with a crash. His golden aura slowly faded as his hair settled,
returning to its normal black color. For several moments he lay very still,
face down in the dirt, and Goku’s eyes widened in alarm. He could not have hurt
Vejiita badly
enough to knock him unconscious!
Then Vejiita moved, slowly twisting onto his
side and pulling his knees up to his chest, one arm wrapping around himself as
his other hand clenched into a fist against his face. His body trembled as he
remained curled in the fetal position, and it took Goku a moment to realize
what was happening.
The prince of all Saiya-jins was crying.
Goku pressed his lips together for a moment,
guilt flooding him as he tried to decide what to do. He knew Vejiita was
humiliated, and wondered if it would be better to leave him alone and not let
the prince know he had witnessed this final break-down. But Vejiita had to know
he had seen him already, why else would he cover his face?
He looked down again as his keen senses picked
up the sound of badly stifled sobs and had to swallow the ache in his own
throat. He had seen Vejiita cry before, but never like this. In the past the
prince’s tears had always been silent.
Vejiita knew he was here. The least he could do
was be the prince’s friend, whether or not the Saiya-jin would appreciate it.
Quietly, he descended to the ground, releasing
his Super Saiya-jin form as he did. Vejiita heard him land and his body tensed
visibly. The smaller man snarled something at him in Saiyago through his sobs,
but Goku had no memory of his native language and only moved to stand next to
the prince. Carefully, he sat down beside him, his gaze on the other man’s
averted face. Vejiita’s whole body was shaking with his tears, and Goku could
almost feel the edge of his pain through their telepathic link. Desperate to
ease him, he reached out and clasped Vejiita’s bare shoulder, trying not to
look at the scars that hadn’t held any meaning for him until now.
The muscles under his palm flexed as Vejiita
jerked, twisting to slap his hand away.
"Don’t touch me, you stupid bastard!"
he nearly screamed, lunging forward on his hands and knees to put distance
between them.
Then, abruptly, the prince sagged to the ground,
collapsing to lie on his stomach as though his strength had simply deserted
him. His left hand was thrown out across the grass, the gloved fingers digging
into the ground, his right arm pinned beneath his body. He pressed his forehead
into the grass as he wept, seeking to hide his shame.
Torn by compassion, Goku ignored Vejiita’s
desperate command, once more moving to his friend’s side. Slowly, he again
extended his hand, laying it very gently on Vejiita’s back, between his
shoulder blades. The prince stiffened but did not move again, whether because
the touch was not so hateful to him or because he simply lacked the strength.
"I-" Goku began, then had to pause at
the constriction in his throat. "I’m sorry, Vejiita. I didn’t... I didn’t
realize...."
Vejiita shifted his body slightly so that his
head rested on his forearm, still making certain not to look in Goku’s
direction.
"Kisama," he hissed, his voice
slightly muffled.
Goku winced at the insult but did not try to
defend himself, instead beginning to rub Vejiita’s back gently, frowning at the
hard knots of muscle he found. He knew the other Saiya-jin would not want to
hear him go into a speech about how he understood him now, understood Vejiita’s
need to be stronger than everyone around him. The prince was already crushed by
his failure to defeat him, he knew, compounded by having to watch himself be
raped before his eyes, in addition to having experienced it first hand.
How many times? Goku wondered painfully. How
many times had Frieza raped him?
He cursed himself now for having allowed the
alien to die so easily. The bastard deserved a thousand times worse. But then,
he hadn’t really died. He had returned, only to have Mirai Trunks destroy him.
He was glad the boy had been able to help, but he wished Vejiita had been able
to defeat him by his own hand, wished the prince could have at least had that
small satisfaction.
His eyes were again drawn to his friend’s
half-hidden face, grieving at what the proud man had suffered. But he could not
offer him words of sympathy. That would only serve to drive the prince further
away, humiliated at what he perceived as his own weaknesses.
Vejiita hated himself, he realized suddenly. How
could he show love to others when he had none for himself? They had always thought
that the prince loved himself above everything else, but his ego had simply
been a cover, almost an attempt to make himself believe what he was saying...
His arrogance was a shield to protect himself from the scorn of others. He
fought to be the strongest because that was the only time he felt he had any
worth, when he could defend himself from everyone else.
Frieza had taught the prince of the Saiya-jins
to hate, and the first person he had hated was himself.
Goku swallowed. "I’m sorry," he
whispered again.
Wanting to comfort Vejiita in any way the prince
would allow, he focused on his hands, strong fingers kneading the rock-hard
knots of muscle flanking Vejiita’s spine. Letting his hands splay outward, he
pressed his thumbs along the muscles at the edges of Vejiita’s shoulder blades,
then slid his fingers lower to the muscles just beneath them, pressing firmly.
"Kakarrot..." Vejiita said lowly, and
Goku could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
He didn’t respond, only continued to work the
prince’s painfully tight muscles with his fingers. Vejiita made a slight
movement as though he would get up, then grunted when Goku pressed him back
down.
For long moments Vejiita remained tense and wary
under his touch, his muscles not softening at all, but then Goku felt him give
slightly, and a trace of a smile touched his lips. Slowly, gradually, his
fingers forced the tension from Vejiita’s muscles, gently working out the
painful knotting.
He made his way down to the small of Vejiita’s
back, wondering at the prince’s tolerance of his touch for so long. Pausing at
Vejiita’s waist, he slid his hands upward again to press his fingers into the
muscles at the base of Vejiita’s neck. Glancing at Vejiita’s face, he noted in
surprise that the prince was lying with his cheek pressed to the grass, his
eyes half-closed and his lips slightly parted. He smiled a little, pleased at
his the success of his effort to make Vejiita relax. Gently, his roughened
fingers kneaded the nape of Vejiita’s neck, and he was rewarded with a very
soft, barely audible moan as Vejiita’s eyes closed completely.
Sitting back a little, he continued to use one
hand to massage Vejiita’s back, more for the prince’s continued comfort than to
work out any remaining tension. A short time later he paused, becoming still to
feel the steady rise and fall of Vejiita’s breathing beneath his hand. He looked
at his friend’s relaxed face, surprised at the tenderness that rose in him.
"Vejiita?" he called very quietly,
just to make sure.
There was no response, and he smiled. Vejiita
had fallen asleep.
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