Jokes


On this page is eight jokes. There is much, much more jokes and much better than those below in our database.
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Joke No #1
Three prostitutes in a bar. First says:
"I can shove THREE fingers up my pussy!"
The second said:
"I can shove my FIST up my pussy!"
"Well, I can shove ANYTHING up my pussy!", said the
third, as she slowly slid down the bar stool.

Joke No #2
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of
their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES ............. $50.00".
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd
either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time,
another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES".They
asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said:
"Well, that's a little different, it pertains to religion."
So the two ladies took their sign down and took off.
The following day found the same cop in the area when he
noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their
car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up
with them when he noticed the new sign which read:
"TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER ............. $50.00".

Joke No #3
One night a boy wakes up and goes into his parents room and they're having sex.
He asks what they're doing and the father says:
"we're playing poker"
and the mother said:
"and I'm his partner".
He than goes into his grandparents room and asks what they're doing.
The grandfather says:
"we're playing poker"
and the grandmother says:
"and I'm his partner".
He than goes into his brother room and he's masturbating.
He asks what he's doing.
The brother says:
"I'm playing poker".
The other brother asks why he doesn't have a partner, and
the brother replies:
"you don't need a partner if you have a good hand!"

Joke No #4
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is: football
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf
Conclusion: the higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Joke No #5
How to clean a cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.
3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the
edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash
and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there
are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG.

Joke No #6
A guy is having a drink in a bar. A lot of drinks. A very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him,
and says:
"Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"
The big woman replies:
"Well, before you tell that joke, you should know
something. Sure, I'm blonde, and six feet tall,
210 lb. and I'm a professional triathlete and
bodybuilder. The blonde woman sitting next to me
is 6'2" and 220; she's an ex-professional wrestler.
Next to her is a blonde who's 6'5", weighs 250 lb.
and she's a kickboxer professional. Now, do you
still want to tell that blonde joke?"
The guy blinks and swallows, thinks about it a second and says:
"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three
times."

Joke No #7
Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over
100 beutiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in:
"I am the master of all these women. No
one else can touch them except me. You
three men must pay for what you have
done today. You will be punished in a
way corresponding to your profession."
The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living.
"I'm a cop", says the first man.
"Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.
He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.
"I'm a fireman", said the second man.
"Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man:
"And you, what do you do for a living?"
And the third man answered, with a sly grin:
"I'm a lollipop salesman!"

Joke No #8
The never ending battle of the sexes
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they
pass each other, the woman leans out of the window,
and yells:
"PIG!!".

The man immediately leans out of his window,
and replies:
"BITCH!!".

They each continue on their way, as the man rounds the next corner,
he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen...

On this page is eight jokes. There is much, much more jokes and much better than those below in our database.
If You want to receive jokes from our database directly to Your e-mail address just
click here
and fill in our submission form, it will not take You more than 25 seconds


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