Modern Life is Rubbish

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For Tomorrow

He's a twentieth century boy, with his hands on the rails

Trying not to be sick again and holding on for tomorrow

London ice cracks on a seamless line,

he's hanging on for dear life

So we hold each other tightly and hold on for tomorrow

Singing la la la la la

Holding on for tomorrow

She's a twentieth century girl, with her hands on the wheel

Trying not to make him sick again,

seeing what she can borrow

London's so nice back in your seamless rhymes,

but we're lost on the Westway

So we hold each other tightly and hold on for tomorrow

(chorus)

(middle)

trying not to be sick again and holding on for tomorrow

She's a twentieth century girl, hanging on for dear life

So we hold each other tightly and hold on for tomorrow

(chorus)

(Jim stops and gets out the car, goes to a house in Emperors gate, through the door and to

his room, then he puts the TV on, turns it off and makes some tea, says Modern Life is

Rubbish, then Susan comes into the room, she's a naughty girl with a lovely smile says let's

take a  drive to Primrose Hill it's windy there and the view is so nice, London ice can freeze

your toes like anyone I suppose.)

 

Advert

(ad lib from the shopping channel)

It's six o'clock on the dot and I'm half way home

I feel foul mouthed as I stand and wait for the underground

And a nervous disposition doesn't agree with this

I need something to remind me that there is something else

You need a holiday somewhere in the sun

With all the people who are waiting

there never seems to be one

Say something, say something else

Advertisements are here for rapid persuasion

If you stare too long you lose your appetite

A nervous disposition doesn't agree with this

You need fast relief from aches and stomach pains

(chorus)

Do you advert think?

 

Colin Zeal

Colin Zeal knows the value of mass appeal

He's a pedestrian walker, he's a civil talker

He's an affable man with a plausible plan

Keeps his eye on the news, keeps his future in hand

And then he

Looks at his watch he's on time yet again

He's pleased with himself, so pleased with himself,

he's pleased with himself, ah ah

While sitting in traffic, Colin thinks in automatic

He's an immaculate dresser, he's the common aggressor

He's a modern retard with a love of bombast

Keeps his eye on the news never dwells on the past

And then he

(chorus)

(through the megaphone) He's  modern retard, he's

terminal lard, he's an affable man

with a carotene tan because Colin's zeal is ill.

 

Pressure on Julian

Only the magical transit children sing,

sing the lullaby bah, bah, bah

Sitting on the pavement sucking on a long straw,

it's colourful, it's colourful, but it washes you out.

Here is my violence and here is the excuse,

I learnt it all but only second hand

Falling into walls well what is it with you,

you'd never know, never know, never know

We planned it all this way, we planned it all this way

Pressure on Julian

Swimming in yellow pissy water,

sand getting in between the ears

No blood in head in this bloody weather,

irate people with yellow tongues

Only the magical transit children sing,

sing the lullaby bah, bah, bah

Falling into walls well what is it with you,

you'd never know, never know, never know

(chorus)

(there was pressure on Julian, pushing trolleys in the car

park from B to A then back to B, pressure on Julian, he

keeps passing out, poor, precious little snout,

the birds are singing at night, pressure on Julian)

 

Starshaped

Wash with new soap behind the collar

Keeps a clean mental state

Don't usually bother in cold weather

But still I'm getting into work late

And I don't need the practice

I've been making plans (for the future)

Become an unconscious man (all for the good)

Feel so unnecessary

(we don't think so, you seem starshaped)

I have a couple at the weekend

Helps keep up camaraderie

And my mind boggles in the muddle

At the possibilities

(bridge)

(chorus)

Wash with new soap behind the collar

Helps keep down the laundry

And now I bother in cold weather

Because it cleans me mentally

 

Blue Jeans

Air cushioned soles,

I bought them on the Portobello
road on a Saturday

I stop and stare awhile,

a common pastime when conversation goes astray

But don't think I'm walking out of this

She doesn't mind, whatever I say, whatever I say

I don't really want to change a thing,

I want to stay this way forever

Blue, blue jeans I wear them every day,

there's no particular reason to change

My thoughts are getting banal, I can't help it

but I won't pull out hair another day

(bridge)

(chorus)

You know it's to be with you

 

Chemical World

The pay-me girl has had enough of the bleeps

So she takes a bus into the country

Although she got herself rosy cheeks

She didn't leave enough money to pay the rent

The landlord says that he's out in a week

What a shame she was just getting comfy

Now she's eating chocolate to induce sleep

In a chemical world it's very, very, very cheap

And I don't know about you

They're putting the hoes in, yes, yes

It's been a hell of a do

They've been putting the holes in, yes, yes

Peeping Thomas has a very nice view

Across the street at the exhibitionist

These townies they never speak to you

Just stick together so they never get lonely

Feeling, lead, feeling quite light-headed

Had to sit down and have some sugary tea

In chemical world, in a chemical world

it's very, very, very cheap

 

Sunday, Sunday

(Legislated nostalgia: to force a body of people to have memories they do not actually possess)

Sunday, Sunday here again in tidy attire

You read the colour supplement, the TV guide

You dream of protein on a plate,

regret you left in quite so late

To gather the family around the table,

to eat enough to sleep

Oh, the Sunday sleep

Sunday, Sunday here again a walk in the park

You meet an old soldier and talk of the past

He fought for us in two world wars and says

the England he knew is no more

He sings the Songs of Praise every week

but always falls asleep

For that Sunday sleep

You dream of protein on a plate,

regret you left it quite so late

To gather the family around the table to eat enough to sleep

And Mother's Pride is your epithet,

that extra slice you will soon regret

So going out is your best bet, then bingo yourself to sleep

Oh the Sunday sleep

 

Oily Water

Lead in me and me in water

Dangling in my world

I swallowed too much oily water

It keeps slipping down my spine

In a sense of self in decline

Growing fat on sound

It's only an early morning dream

And the whole world will be alright

My head is full of suspicion

I'm coming home sometime

I've swallowed too much oily water

It keeps slipping down my spine

In a sense of self in decline

Lying on my back

It's only an early morning dream

And so the whole world will be alright

(chorus)

 

Miss America

Miss America sits in the shower

She's plucking hours from the sky

Picks up the telephone, into another home

Don't ask me why

I don't mind, I don't mind at all

I love only you

She's a well wisher and she wishes you well

Wish away, wish away

She's no jellybean, she's a Jemima ho ho

Wish away, wish away

I don't mind, I don't mind at all

I love only you

Da do da da do

Here is here and I am here

Where are you

Far away, far away

She's no jellybean, she's a Jemima ho ho

Wish away, wish away

 

Villa Rosie

Practice doesn't make perfect when you're interbreeding

Speaking drivel can it get confused with heavy breathing?

Mixing drinks at water holes get snarled up in the suburbs

Meandering through this and that

you are suspected of vagueness

When work is done, go to Villa Rosie every night (we're waiting)

So form a-queue at Villa Rosie every night (so tasty)

Across the common every day

you come across the fine line

But wearing boots can prevent the leeches in the long grass

Eating between meals stifles the appetite is it healthy?

Coming home that nagging doubt there in your belly

And all the while at Villa Rosie every night (we're tasting)

A sweeter life at  Villa Rosie every night (so tasty)

All losers come to Villa Rosie every night (we're waiting)

So form a queue at Villa Rosie every night (so tasty)

Don't break your back at Villa Rosie every night (we're tasting)

A sweeter life at Villa Rosie every night (so tasty)

 

Coping

Primal, evil what am I?

Tongue-tied until the day I die

there's no love made with mermaids

It's just distraction or so they say

But I'm too tired to care about it

Can't you see it in my face, my face

When I feel this strange can I go through this again

It's a sorry state you're getting in

The same excuse is wearing thin

There's no self control left in me

What was not will never will be

(bridge)

(chorus)

 

Turn it Up

Kazoo, kazoo you are mine I give you my heart every time

Turn it up, turn it off, turn it in

Any way you choose, anyway you choose at all

Sometimes you do to much, sometimes it all gets too much

(bridge)

(chorus)

 

Resigned

I think too much

On things I want too much

It makes me hateful

And I say stupid things

Only you can fill my blank heart

And I'm resigned to that

I wish the sun

Could just keep me warm

And I'm resigned to that

I'll forget to breathe someday

I've never stopped to think why

 

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