|This is it. Remember how we said that girls don't care what kind of car a dude drives? Well this is what matters. An SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle) is the only thing that girls say will get them to tear for absolutely no reason. Sorry fellas the sports car just isn't saying it. It isn't the 70's anymore. (Most of us at the Playstation have sports cars, we're slowly converting)|
|The Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo is the sex of all sport UTEs and it better be with a long ass name like that. What can be said? Just look at it. The front was redesigned from that fugly square look to the wet sex that it is now. The lights were changed and moulded into the grill and was given an overall aerodynamic facelift. This is the Caravan of the sport UTE division. If you purchase this car it automatically gets graded above Playmobile and recieves Sexmobile status.|
|Player Pointer Faux Pas (that means don't do it)
1. Never hang raccoon tails, Garfeild butts, fake legs or arms from your car. If you want to be funny do it on stage.
2. Bumper Stickers. "Oh my God, like, tacky!" says one women.
3. Baby shoes on the dashboard. "If I see that, I know he's married," says another. "Even if he's not wearing a ring."
4. Noise. If you're going to spend that much on a car, why not splurge for a real performance muffler while your at it? That little noise-maker just yells "Hey everybody look at me! I'm gay! Look at the gay-fruit over here! I need male attention! Just a young gay homo here!"
5. Beaded seat-cushins. Ever try to make out on one? Don't even think about removing any clothes unless you want to volunteer valuable body parts.
The Globe and Mail
|This was the previous Player Purchase. It's still pretty good.
Click it to check it out.