The Plot
“Clear? Huh! Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can’t make head or tail of it.” (Groucho, Duck Soup).
Duck Soup is set in the fictional land of Freedonia; “a small Ruritanian town”. The state is a republic, but is allegedly threatened by it’s neighbour state Sylvania, and more ostensibly by Sylvania’s nefarious ambassador, Trentino (Louis Calhern). The richest citizen of Freedonia, Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) agrees to loan the ailing government twenty million dollars, but only on the condition that they replace the president with her own choice - Rufus.T.Firefly (Groucho).
Firefly arrives with his secretary Bob (Zeppo), and it becomes immediately apparent that his only concerns in Freedonia are flirting with Mrs. Teasdale in order to obtain her large fortune, lying in bed eating crackers, and trying to start a war with Sylvania because he dislikes Trentino. Trentino does not want a war; instead he is plotting to start a revolution to gain power. Agitating the masses has already failed, so he attempts instead to woo Mrs. Teasdale. This also fails when Firefly pushes him out of the way.
Trentino retreats to try another tack. He employs two spies, Chicolini (Chico) and Pinky (Harpo) to spy on Firefly…
Chicolini: Monday we watch Firefly’s house, but he no come out. He wasn’t home. Tuesday we go to the ball game, but he fool us. He no show up. Wednesday he go to the ball game, and we fool him. We no show up. Thursday was a double header. Nobody show up. Friday there was no ball game so we stayed home and we listened to it over the radio.
Trentino (exasperated) Then you didn’t shadow Firefly?
Chicolini:Oh, sure we shadow Firefly. We shadow him all day.
Trentino But what day was that?
Chicolini Shadderday.
Firefly calls a council, but instead of keeping the peace he further insults Trentino. Trentino storms out, threatening war.
Chicolini and Pinky disguise themselves as peanut vendors and loiter outside Firefly’s house in order to spy on him. Pinky embarks on a long-running visual battle with a lemonade seller. Firefly hears the commotion and goes to his balcony to see what’s going on. He talks to Chicolini and eventually employs him as the new Secretary of War.
Mrs. Teasdale has coaxed Trentino back to her house in the hope of mending the fractured diplomatic relations. She asks Firefly to come over, and when he arrives, she presents Trentino in the hope that Firefly will apologise and the war can be averted. Instead, Firefly confronts him again:
Firefly:So, you’ve come to ask for clemency.
Mrs. Teasdale: Your Excellency, the Ambassador’s here on a friendly visit. He’s had a change of heart.
Firefly:A lot of good that’ll do him. He’s still got the same face.
Trentino I’m sorry we lost our tempers. I’m willing to forget if you are.
Firefly:Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves and I would only have to bury them again. Nothing doing. I’m going back to clean the crackers out of my bed.
Under Trentino’s orders, Chicolini and Pinky break into Firefly’s house to steal the plans for war. They are actually with Mrs. Teasdale, who telephones Firefly and asks that he come over and fetch them. Chicolini locks Firefly in his room and both he and Pinky disguise themselves as him by donning nightgowns, nightcaps, cigars and greasepaint moustaches. Chicolini enters Mrs. Teasdale’s room and tries to dupe her into telling him where the plans are. She writes down the combination to the safe where they are hidden. Chicolini hears a noise and hides under the bed. Pinky enters and receives the combination. Pinky leaves, and Chicolini gets up again. The excitement is all too much for the confused Mrs. Teasdale, who collapses on the bed, demanding water. Chicolini says he is going to get her one but hides under the bed again when he hears a knock on the door. Firefly (who has escaped) enters the room. Both hear a noise downstairs. Firefly goes to investigate.
Pinky has been making a huge amount of noise trying to get the safe open. He has also broken a mirror. When Firefly comes downstairs, he spots Pinky through the broken lintel of the mirror. Pinky tries to fool him by miming his actions through the frame. Firefly is on the verge of falling for this ruse until Chicolini inadvertently walks into the “mirror”. Pinky flees, but Chicolini is caught.
Chicolini is tried for treason in a courts martial (he is still the Secretary of War), but he and Firefly make such a mockery of the trial that it becomes nonsensical. Firefly decides to defend Chicolini instead of prosecuting him with the claim “Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” The trial is interrupted by another offer of peace by Trentino. Firefly rejects this again; war is declared.
After another round of Pinky and the Lemonade Vendor, the scene cuts to Firefly’s war headquarters. Firefly is giving increasingly confusing and contradictory orders to his men, at one point even shooting his own men. The proceedings become more chaotic as Chicolini, Pinky, Firefly and Mrs. Teasdale all become trapped in the building together. It seems they are all about to be killed. Firefly calls for help on the field telephone, and the scene cuts to a “special effect” in which the audience see shots of fire engines, marathon runners, monkeys, elephants and porpoises all charging to the “rescue”
Slyvanian soldiers break into the building but Pinky and Chicolini manage to stop them. They inadvertently find they have captured Trentino. By taking him captive ,they realize that the war is over and they have won. Everyone starts pelting fruit at Trentino, until Mrs. Teasdale declares “Victory is Ours!”, at which point they all turn and pelt the fruit at her instead. The credits roll…
Hail Freedonia! (back to main Duck Soup Page), The Edits, The Trivia, The Pictures, The Sounds, The Song, The Script,