If I ever got the chance to be born again I'd opt to be female. I love being a woman. My point being, I am not some raving wannabe man. But, put the fists away - I am not a rampant feminist man-hater, either. I am a normal, everyday professional with logic, curiosity and intelligence on my side. Of course, bringing the three to bear on the subject of men and women is just asking for trouble - but this topic has been long due a fresher perspective.

The first man-related question is: do we ever really know a man? Inside out, warts and all. Not because of any failing in us - but, are women ever allowed to see the inner sanctum of a man's mind? Experience shows that there is always more to a man that meets the eye. Observation leads us to believe that a man will be expected to hide insecurities, lack of confidence and put a strong face on it all. The layering of the male psyche and its role as defined by society makes men hide their inner demons and hide them well. But without fail, every man has them.

Call it the inner child. Call it internal conflicts. The issues are well defined: the expectations of family, society, peers and self. Both sexes are subject to these. Men, it would seem, get the shorter straw. As in a sibling relationship - the elder gets the expectations and the parental guilt trips, and the younger gets the safety valve option of not having to make it in the world. That's us - we don't really have to be superhuman. A woman's self-worth is defined by family position, money, reputation and not being horrendously ugly. Pretty simple to do if you ask me. No work required on our part, thank you very much. Men, on the other hand - are under constant pressure to succeed. It's no wonder they live shorter lives than we do.

Does this imbalance in life's expectations alienate us further? We are the sex that gets taken care of while they are the sex that gets to take care of the world. In this balance, men figure large in our immediate horizon, survival-wise, whereas women are only one of many things that a man has to take care of. There's the car, the insurance, the house and only finally, the wife.
Second question: why do they lie to us so much? This self-imposed, no conscience involved, pathological lying. You would think they were brought up solely on fibs and mother's milk - while women, it would seem, saw nothing more than sugar, spice and everything nice. I feel cheated. I still have not achieved the ability to lie in my sleep like they have.

I mean, WHY? Can someone enlighten me? Why this instinct to lie at the drop of a hat? Especially to women. I mean, the male bonding thing makes it bad form to lie to male friends - while it is entirely all right to string women along on lies so thin they wouldn't hold up a spider's ass.

And we believe them - that is the sad part. We fall for it every time and believe every bit of it and drink it up like we've been stranded in the Gobi Desert for months with nothing but sandpaper for company. And we truly believe that a man's basic attention is nectar from the Gods.

Why are we so fascinated? I know people who get into relationships for the ride. The absolutely mind-blowing ride through a man's inner self. My best friend is that way. She says, you let a man get so comfortable with you that he forgets everything else - and then watch the fun.

I agree with her. It appeals to something instinctively maternal and nurturing in us. But, that's not all. I mean, if men are the enemy - if they are the opposition and in this patriarchal society they control most of our activities - I say know your enemy. One day he will most probably be your lover. The battle of the sexes according to Mr. Shuttlecock diplomat, will never be won - there's just too much fraternising between the sexes.

Third on the list of things that make men such big babies: the inability to commit for more than 4 seconds. I have seen men who have been head-over-heels in love with the girl of their dreams. She has loved him back with stars in her eyes. But, one can't help but note the stricken expression, the sweaty brow, the shifty look on his face. He feels trapped. He hates that fact that he is even feeling this - but he can't help it. The girl is great, she's the one, BUT......
What? What is it really? I don't think even they know the answer to this one. Afraid she'll finally find out what a big baby he is? I don't think so, I mean, we all know, we know they know, we know they know that we know. So, forget that.

Nevertheless, it does cross his mind - is she really really the one? Are men too holding out for the one? I mean, everyone one knows that we women are the sappy, soul-mate searchers. What about men? Do they ever search for that face in the crowd? That brings us to the question: what do men really want from us? And consequently, what do women want back from men?
In this great, fantastically miniscule, boundless with possibility life of ours - we all share the awareness of our own mortality. It binds us and keeps us all at the same level - the great equalizer.

We are fallible creatures - and recognising this in each other is the joiner. The glue that is missing from our everyday relationships. The understanding that one can screw up and still be accepted. That is the one thing we want the most from each other - and that is the one thing that is the hardest to accept from another person.