The
Smashing of the Idols
(By Bill
Newcomer,Ó July 2000)
From: Bill
Sent: Tuesday, June
27, 2000
To: Jim
Subject:
...surprised by faith...
Jim,
In light of your
telling me of God’s dealings with you over the years, I thought I ought to sit
down and relate to you a little of my own pilgrimage.
I don’t remember a
time when I didn’t go to church. My
parents seldom went, but sent us kids regularly. You and I were childhood friends, and so it was that I invited
you to church. Though we were taught
some things at the church of our youth, there was also much we were not
taught.
In our recent
conversation, you reminded me of the time at church camp when we talked about
looking for the Garden of Eden. Indeed
we were looking for something back then.
Little did we realize what we were to eventually find. Thus it was in our looking, we were
baptized; having been taught that in doing so, one became a Christian; earning
our way to God’s favor by our own keeping and doing. I still remember the church camp sermon on the steps to heaven;
all things we had to do. I don’t
remember the word “grace” ever being used.
As I recall, in
high school you drifted away and started walking on the wilder side of life. At
that time my walk was something of the respectable hypocrite. For some reason I
didn't stop going to church. I think in some sense I was seeking something I
had yet to find. I could never be an atheist.
Growing up on the farm so close to nature made it almost impossible not
to believe in something much greater.
I did become a
deist of sorts, someone who believes in God, but not sure He is relevant to
anything in this world. And I was
certainly not at all sure how Jesus fit into the whole thing, if He did at all.
My life became one of being "good" enough not to get into bad
trouble, but being bad enough to get along with the world.
I think it was
during our high school senior year, there was a New Year Eve's service at the
church. A guest speaker was leading the
service. He had us write on a piece of paper any concerns, burdens, questions,
or etc. we wanted God to take care of in the year to come. He then collected the papers, and putting
them into a collection plate, burned them up; a symbolic act of giving those
things to God. On my paper I had written, "Are you really
there?" Little did I know how, in
the next few years, that question was to be answered...
That fall I was off
to Michigan State University. I was a
relatively big fish in a real small pond back home. At MSU I was barely at the plankton level. I also quickly realized that for all the
amount of intellect and learning and knowledge at the University, there were
still some areas where the Professors, with all their doctoral degrees, really
didn't know anymore then the rest of us. Whatever claims they might make, they
were only guessing about the meaning and purpose of life, and one guess was as
good or bad as another.
I remember in one
class, in a test essay question dealing with Thomas Paine’s virulent attack on
the virgin birth of Christ, defending the virgin birth. After all, Thomas Paine didn’t know anymore
about it then anyone else, so why should I believe him? It was in that context I began to seek my
own meaning, and started to carve out and sculpt my own idols; those things I
thought would give me purpose, meaning, and comfort in life. I believed God existed, but believed He was
far away and didn’t have much time or inclination to worry about my life.
The summer between
my freshman and sophomore year, my brother got married to his first wife. That really sent me for a loop. It was hard for me to handle that we had
"grown up", and were taking on adult responsibilities. Even in high school I had felt at times an
acute loneliness and emptiness; a loneliness and emptiness that I thought could
be filled by finding a special someone to be that special kind of friend. That feeling was accentuated when John got
married.
In my sophomore
year, the Lord started drawing the noose around me. God is a jealous God. He will not put up with us having any other
gods in His place. That fall I attended
a concert on campus put on by a Christian musical group. There was a gospel
presentation. As the salvation prayer
was spoken, I remember saying to myself, “That’s something you should do.” I
signed a card that had been provided, and promptly forgot about the whole
thing.
That winter and
spring I thought perhaps I had found what I was looking for. But it was a
delusion of my mind, my feelings and imagination making in my mind something
that was not really there. In the
spring of that sophomore year, He proceeded to smash my idols. She didn't care for me like I cared for her.
Truth was, she didn't care for me much at all... My idols lay smashed upon the ground, leaving me bewildered and shattered.
Shortly after these
events, I was invited to a meeting of a campus ministry group. I went... I was supposed to get a term paper
done, but I couldn't concentrate on it, so I went to the meeting. After the meeting I talked to the speaker.
He went through a Gospel presentation. I knew enough of the Bible to recognize
the truth of what he said. It was then I confessed to the Lord I had been the
fool, and in so doing acknowledged that He alone was Lord and God. Somewhat to my surprise, I found I believed. I was surprised by faith...
I can hear the
pseudo-psychologists saying, “Ha! Just
as I thought! He got religion on the
rebound from a broken heart.” To say
such a thing, is a really shallow presupposition and presumption. The issue was not my seeking solace for a
broken heart; though that pain was real enough. The real issue was not “me” centered, but God centered. What was to be the object of my hope and
faith? The object of a person’s hope and faith is what they will worship. My heart was broken because I sought in my
idols that which God alone can give.
God smashed my idols so I would seek Him, and in Him alone find all I
really and truly needed or wanted.
From that point,
old things started passing away, and new things came in their place. I went
home at the end of that school year a different person then what I had been
when that year started. Someone gave me
a copy of the New Testament in Today's English. That summer I read through it,
and the Word of God was alive like it had never been before... I found I wanted to be with God’s people...
Jim, there is much
more I could probably say about the last 31 years since that time. I am a saved
sinner. I am a sinner still being saved.
Jesus Christ is my all in all, my only hope in life and in death. Anything I have is of His grace and mercy
alone; certainly not at all deserved or earned by anything I could do. All I can do is respond to His love by
loving and seeking to serve Him.
For the child of
God, nothing is wasted in His sovereign economy. It is from the ashes, broken wreckage, and debris of our lives
that He perfects His image in us.
At one point I
thought to enter the ministry, but the Lord showed me otherwise. I got enough Greek and Hebrew to be
dangerous. More important, I learned
more about God Himself and who I am in relation to Him. I learned more fully
about His sovereign grace and mercy.
So it is that I
affirm and confess that Jesus Christ is LORD, and that He is my LORD and my
Savior.
Thus we, who were
boyhood chums, can now embrace as brothers, and have hope for glory in eternity
with Him and one another. Jim, it is my hope and prayer you will find this
brief account an encouragement. Whatever God's providence brings our way, His
promises are true and He remains faithful.
The light afflictions of this poor world are nothing in light of the
weight of the eternal glory that is waiting for those who love Him...
In the bonds and
love of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am your brother and
Your servant,
Bill