First, I'm informed, by my e-mail, that the Annual Parker's Crossroads Battleground Chili Cook-Off is coming up Saturday, June 8th, 2002, and you can find out more information at http://www.parkerscrossroads.com/ (the link is about halfway down the page).

Also on a local note, do you have a site you'd like to see mentioned here? Send it over. I've been considering lately that while several places in the Henderson County area list sites on their web pages, I haven't really found a full list of links of area business' or other pages. I had considered making just such a page on our web page at surf.to/nethotspots (Note: cheep plug #2). A sort of 'phone book' of local sites. I realize there are so many now, that it might not be completely plausible, however, I know it won't happen without everyone's support. If this sounds like it might be useful to you, let me know at [email protected] (just an e-mail address you say, nay, yet another cheep ploy to plug the website at surf.to/nethotspots).

BRAND NEW at surf.to/nethotspots (that’s right, #4, not that I’m counting) is a section called ‘Tips & Tricks’ where I’ll attempt to enhance my standing as village idiot by committing to text the minor computer abilities I may have picked up over the years, or steal a few now and then from others. The link is located at the top of the page next to the articles. This weeks offering: FREE WEB SITES, for you to build that is, not to visit (you’re so lazy).

My first listing this week (other than surf.to/nethotspots) is a fake memorandum depicting an unwanted condition occurring at DC Comics in 1967 & offering a rare behind-the-scenes glimpse into the "Silver Age of Comics," supposedly discovered in the cartoon giant’s archives. Being a Superman fan for years, I couldn’t resist listing this offering by a writer named Timothy McSweeney. Check it out at www.mcsweeneys.net/1999/09/24superman.html.

Sakes, do a search for ‘Office Pranks’ and the whole world opens up for you. Well, it did for me anyway. I found one spot I liked better than the others at ZDnet (www.zdnet.com/anchordesk/story/story_3231.html) that has some interesting little programs you can download for yourself or your friend’s computer. Lets see, there’s the virtual ‘yes’ man, Al Morale, who comments on you and your work with profuse praise and funny flattery. I’m not sure if Egoman Ed won’t get an overload on that one. ‘Crazy Mouse’ makes your cursor jump around erratically, though I thought they all did that. There’s the ‘Auto Insult,’ using Arabian, Shakespearean or modern style. I suppose that would offset Al Morale, though ‘modern style’ is easily obtainable at MTV. Oh, and for those of you who work with the various Microsoft Office Suite products, you are aware of the little ‘office assistant’ that pops up to help you. Don’t care to much for those things as they generally eat up memory space. You can download one here that tells you what it thinks of you. That should help. There are several others available, check it out.

Care to write some ‘Bad Hemingway (http://www.unh.edu/NIS/Courses/JS3min/Demos/bad-hemingway.html)? A take-off from a book by George Plimpton, you fill in the blanks, hit the button, and the first paragraph pops up to get you started. Yep, mine came out like this: It was noon. So this is how it is, this is how it always happens in the noon. Darn your noon. With my last 50 dinar I purchased some true and honest Slimfast; I took a pull from the bottle. It was good. It burned my mouth and felt good and warm going down my esophagus and into my stomach. From there it went to my kidneys and my bladder, and was good. I remembered then when I last saw Egoman Ed who was still a darn fine writer. It was in Paris, Tn and we looked out the windows at the my cousin Johnny and drank Slimfast in the noon. It was noon and had been noon for some time. Yepppers. That’s bad Hemingway alright. Yep.

Here’s one for the ‘Thought I’d seen everything’ file, the World Rock Paper Scissor Society (http://www.worldrps.com/index.html). Oh yeah, they’ve got help pages including basic and advanced strategy, an online trainer, and, of course, the Tshirt. They take donations, don’t we all. I can just see the accountant’s face now.

Here’s a useful site for parents of teenagers who have too much MTV Realworld shows in their life (ironic though it is, as no one I know is ‘real’ like that), check out the article at http://parents.berkeley.edu/jokes/annoy.html for help with driving your teen as crazy as they do you, like, you know, iz toe up!

Today’s thoughts: Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?. Why do croutons comes in airtight packages? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 or more on those little bottles of Evian water? Find out by spelling Evian backwards (naive)

Oh well, I’m going to ‘write to fit’ a little this week, so I’ll cut it off here.

Now say these words: Must go to surf.to/nethotspots, must go to surf.to/nethotspots. (6^th & 7^th cheep plug respectively). I’ll be adding some other articles on the ‘Tips & Tricks’ theme regarding e-mail, mp3s, and one on the usage of ‘shortcut’ keys and why you should use them (suggested by friend Jim, thanks breaux) Also, as mentioned, Egoman Ed needs input, so send him a comment at [email protected]. Take care.