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July 10, 2002 Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. So I ask you, have you ever noticed that no matter what you’ve lost, (keys, pills, the remote phone, the tv remote, your car, SOCKS) it usually turns up immediately after you accuse someone else of some grand conspiracy to hide it? No? Just me, huh... Well, I got up this morning, looked for my clothes in the laundry, accused my wife of hiding them, found them (right where I left them), showered, brushed my teeth (all of them), got my cup of Slime Feast, got in the truck and drove off. Next, I stopped at the local store, having finally found a parking place due to all the delivery trucks that had the place sealed off better than the White House after 9/11, pumped my gas, checked my oil, tires, etc., washed my windshield, went inside and got my own daily snack (everybody seems to like peanuts, my single weekly contribution to the cause here), got some orange juice for later (my only other attempt to better my health for the day), and, had I wanted something else, could have poured my own coffee and made my own sandwich. I then paid for the whole thing by swiping my card through the slot, took my receipt and headed for work. Now, I don't mean to complain, but at what point did there cease to be 'service' in service stations? If you compare the last two sentences, you can quickly realize, that with a little bit of preparation (except for the gas, haven't figured out how to bottle methane yet), I could have stayed at home and eliminated the middle man. I remember as a teenager working for a local service station pumping gas, checking oil, washing windows, changing tires, etc., all the while thinking "When I grow up (a situation my wife heartily protests) I won't have to do this. "I may be wrong, but I don't believe there are any such places in existence anymore. And why do they call them 'Convenience' stores in the first place. Grocery stores are another place that you've lost a lot in some places, though not so much here in our town. Larger corporations figured out a long time ago that they could make a lot more money if they cut out all those ridiculous 'services' like bagging groceries, taking them to the car, not being rude, washing ANYTHING, and, at least restocking monthly, as long as they left the prices exactly the same. Oh, they advertise that they are cheaper than the competition BECAUSE of the lack of those niceties, but if you do all your shopping in that one store, you'll spend about the same as you would have if you had gone to the full service place in the first place. What do you think? Let me know: [email protected]. I’m sorry about the pop-ups on my site for those who have gone there. I am trying to get on another server and may have it switched by the time this is published. I always use a pop-up stopper, currently Pop-Up Stopper Pro, that stops them from coming in, so I don’t always realize that they are there unless I’m working on someone else’s computer. I have a small article about pop-up stopper programs on the website under the tips & tricks section at the top, if you’d like to know more. My first site today turned up while working on someone else's laptop, Kelley's Blue Book (http://www.kbb.com) where you can look up the value of most vehicles you'd want to buy or sell. Just plug in your information, including location, and it will spit out a value you can argue with. Watching the Discovery Channel this past weekend, I learned, to my surprise, of the second American Civil War. The Conch Republic (http://www.conchrepublic.com) was born on April 23rd of 1982 as a result of a United States Border blockade imposed on the Florida Keys in reference to the Cuban prisoner release. The citizens there figured that since the United States Government insisted on treating them like a foreign country, they should secede from the Union, as proclaimed by Key West Mayor Dennis Wardlow, who then declared war. One minute later, they surrendered, demanding 1 million dollars in foreign aid for war damages and help in dealing with refugees. They have yet to receive it. On the other hand, they now have their own flag proclaiming "We seceded where others failed", print their own passports, used by citizens all over the world (and they say we have a security problem), and for the small fee of $100, you can be a citizen of the Conch Republic as well. At that rate, who needs foreign aid? It pays to start a country. Edland, The Nation of Ed, The People Who Like Ed Republic, or maybe, just Ed, hmm. See You In Hell! proclaims the opening page of a silly town names site at http://www.homestore.com/CarGarage/car/funnytown.asp. Hell, Michigan, that is. My favorite was Joe, Montana, voted so by the 22 citizens of Ismay, in southeast Montana in 1993, to celebrate Kansas City Chiefs signing of the famous quarterback, and, to make enough money off souvenirs, among other things, to fund their new fire station. Starting your own town might be good too, hmmm. Edville? Ever needed to know what John Doe translates to in other languages? Sure you do. Surf to http://www.funnyname.com/anonymous.html and check out all the international listings. Or, if you're into strange names, you can shorten that last web address to http://www.funnyname.com and see the unfortunate folks destined to be tougher than the proverbial 'Boy named Sue'. What quicker way to bring out the Lizzie Borden in a person than to name them Nimrod K. Funk or Phat Ho. (You suppose her nickname is ‘Big’?) Get ready to Name That Candy Bar (http://www.sci.mus.mn.us/sln/tf/c/crosssection/namethatbar.html) where you pick what it is, click on the picture and see if you're right. I thought they were M&Ms. For those conspiracy theorists out there who remember the 'Paul is dead' controversy of the late 60's, check out http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Obituary/paul.html. The authors of this site have a lengthy list of clues from albums, etc that existed around the time. The rebuttal of same is at http://bobcat.bbn.com/bobcatftp/pub/beatles/welcome/pid, debunking each 'clue'. A quick search for 'Paul is dead' on any search engine will bring up tons of supposedly definitive information. The Beatles have never owned up to this. See what you think. Personally, I think that after Jack and Bobby dumped Marilyn, she threatened to tell the press about the mob plot to knock off Castro and that ticked off Langley. So, the CIA, feeling cocky after they took her out, dreamed up the whole ‘assassination/coupe’ episode in Dallas, especially since they messed up that Bay of Pigs job. RFK, knowing all this, decided to run for president asap, but NASA, afraid he might slow down the moon shot in order to stop the war, had him ‘abducted by aliens’, who were, of course, employees with a nasty attitude from Area 51 who needed to get out a bit. (It got out of hand. You didn’t really believe that Sirhan Sirhan thing, did ya’?) Unfortunately, as we all know, this was a waste of time, since NASA couldn’t get It going in time and faked the whole thing in the studio. But what do I know. I’m still working on the website (surf.to/nethotspots), if you have suggestions give me a shout at [email protected]. Take care. |
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