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February 13, 2002
It's time for another installment of fun sites for those interested in the
internet. Most of the ones in this edition are pretty silly, but maybe worth a
moment of your time.
I'd like to include a bit of a disclaimer for this section, as, from time to
time, some of these might not be appropriate for the younger readers, so all
parents out there should ALWAYS be aware and take interest in what your children
are seeing on the internet. That having been said, on with the show.
First, I'd like to remind those who have watched and enjoyed this site for some
years that the latest winners of "The
Darwin Awards" were just released yesterday, Darwin's birthday. For those of
you who are not familiar with this, the site says it best: "Darwin Awards
commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in
really stupid ways." And folks, they aren't kidding. These people are truly
unique amongst those lining the intelligence challenged halls of history.
Literally, these have to be read to be believed. And they may range from the
slightly obtuse or momentarily inane to the point where one wonders whether or
not ANYTHING EVER occupied the space between their ears. As said before, though,
this is not for the young or weak hearted. These dopes usually went out in some
fantastic manner, so be warned.
Number two on our list this week is actually several, some I'd heard of before &
some new, recently reissued on the MSN Homepage
site (the default home page of MS Internet Explorer), but I thought they might
bear repeating for those who might have missed out the first time. There's the 'Virtual
Cow Tipping' site (obvious as the title, but fun in it's simplicity); the
Archive of Misheard Lyrics (this
fellow has a set of books on the subject and yes, you've probably uttered the
same mistaken lyrics in your shower some time or other);
Comedy Break features " I Can't
Believe They Said That, " a collection of regrettable quotes from public figures
(I've only looked at some of this annoyingly large grouping of jokes and what I
saw was relatively repeatable, though the collection seems immense, so I'd apply
those aforementioned 'parental options'); and my favorite this week:
Dumb Laws made up, as I'm sure you've
guessed, of largely old laws, quite useful to their inventors at the time, that
have, for the most part, long out-lived their purpose, though some did make a
good bit of sense even now. You can search this site by location. Did you know,
by the way, that in Tennessee, it's illegal to 'shoot any game other than whales
from a moving automobile', or 'atheists may not hold a public office', and
'Driving is not to be done while asleep'? It goes further to say that, here in
Lexington, 'no one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk' & 'spitting on the
sidewalk is prohibited.' Thankfully, the sidewalk cops have seen fit to ignore
the first, assuming the law referred to someone standing, and not spooning it
from the pavement, and, had the latter been in vogue, well, politics would most
likely have taken a different turn in my lifetime, given the discussions by
'those in the know' who once frequented the Court House lawn bench of my
childhood. (There were days when armies of pigeons would have been humbled.)
Finally, and this is amazing stuff here, Jessica Caffrey and Ron Coddington put
together an
interactive map for USA Today showing the flight plan of the terrorist laden
jets on September 11th of last year. You can click on the screen to the right
and start the flight paths of each passenger jet's tragic descent into history,
or all at once. I tend to agree with Charlie Daniels when he says we should not
try to heal ourselves so much as we should pour salt in the wound lest we forget
the events of that day and to strengthen our resolve for what has to be done to
stop such cowardly acts in the future. This might help a little bit in that
endeavor.
And now, for something completely different, today's humor: A small boy is sent
to bed by his father. Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty.
Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five
minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of
water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five
minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" When you come in to spank me, can you
bring a drink of water?"
By the way, I've been considering putting together a little web page one could
click on to run in conjunction with this article. Let me know what you think.
Until next week, I'll venture back, at great risk, mind you, into the weird and
mysterious world where techies, computer geeks, and Frank Zappa reside in order
to bring you another edition. Or, you could send your favorites to
me
and save me the trouble. Until then...
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