You've got thousands of sources for the current events of the day, but what about tomorrow's headlines? Go to World News Forecast (http://www.newsahead.com/). No, this is real. This is a service apparently used by news servers to keep up with the upcoming events worldwide. Glancing at the site this morning, I see that the Chinese Vice President will be visiting Washington on the 1st of May, the Cannes Film Festival will be May 15-20, five planets are viewable by the naked eye thru the 30th this month and the Vatican is having a sex scandal 'Summit' today and tomorrow. They advertise never missing another shuttle launch (I always do). This site is well made, easy to navigate, and looks like it's pretty safe for most ages, well, as safe as the evening network news can be. I've mentioned a dictionary or two in the past, but this is different. At OneLook (http://www.onelook.com/) one can post a word and get several definitions from various sources. Also, there is a foreign word look up at Your Dictionary (http://www.yourdictionary.com/). And, last, there is an online translator, Babelfish (http://babelfish.altavista.com/), should you like to send a note to your family from the old country. Just put in your text, and the translator takes over. A word of caution though, machine translations can sometimes yield strange results. After all, you don't want to make the mistake the Dairy Association did when they wanted to use their popular 'Got Milk' campaign in Mexico, only to soon realize they were asking the Mexican consumer "Are you lactating?" Humorous, well, not to them, but you might enjoy Funny Translations (http://anotherlanguage.com/funny.htm) where they have a collection of these silly signs around the globe, such as: 1) Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."; 2) The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athens's hotel:" If You Consider Our Help Impolite, You Should See The Manager.; 3) When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read.; 4) In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." There are many more, have fun.

     Want a map of the locations of possible relatives? You know you do, and at http://hamrick.com/names/ you too can find where your relatives ended up. This is by surname only and gives a general US map. 'Harris' by the way, is well represented around the country, though centered largely in the southern states and branching out. I would imagine that if your name were a bit more obscure, you would get a more useful result.

     Here's a good one, and one I will likely be using, given the half-dozen units getting older by the minute around our castle. Check our VCR Repair (http://www.fixer.com/), which, apparently, holds a lot of FAQs concerning the topic of fixing it yourself. I would imagine, though, that if the usefulness of the common screwdriver still baffles you, you might want to ignore this offering.

     Alas, software can't protect you from the flu. But you can track outbreaks of the dreaded "bug" at the InteliHealth Flu- O-Meter page (go to http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH and click on "Where's the Flu?" or type in flu at the search area at the top right-hand side of the page). Of course, this is not flu season, but I'll probably forget where this was by then, so if you're prone to such things, be sure to bookmark it. The site's interactive map, updated weekly with the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control, features a color-coded rating system to assess the proliferation of flu cases, state by state. (Red, for example, means that flu is "widespread"; green, that it's "absent.") Just move your screen cursor over the state in question to determine its "flu-edness." If your locale scores high, you might want to consult the included links to flu-shot facts and treatment tips.

     This is cool. Time travel is the stuff of science fiction, but you can send an e-mail message into the future at Mail to the Future (http://www.mailtothefuture.com/public/logon?http://www.mailtothefuture.com/). Register for free and you can send mail to yourself or to others at a specified date and time in the future. You can also review messages that are waiting to be sent in your "queue." Simpler and easier to use than a full-blown Web calendar, this site sure beats tying a string around your finger for a quick reminder.

     There's a lot of medical information, both conventional and alternative, out there on the Web. HealthScout (http://www.healthscout.com/) is a different kind of health site, because it's personalized: Enter data about yourself or your family and you'll get articles from medical journals and experts that relate to your health condition(s). Log on to the site daily to see the latest relevant, reliable articles that apply to you, no matter what your ailment. Even if you don't use the personalized news service, you can still take advantage of all of the articles as well as the drug and doctor finders and the 7-minute checkup. (As always, none of the information here is a substitute for the advice of your physician.)

Speaking of health:

     Little Johnny's 3rd grade class was having a lesson on careers and were discussing the various professions out there. The teacher asks the kids what their dads do for a living. One little girl raises her hand and says "My daddy is a doctor. He helps sick people get well." A little boy raises his hand and says "My daddy is a dentist and he fixes people's teeth." Another little girl raises her hand and says "My daddy is the district attorney and he puts bad people in jail." The teacher notices that little Johnny is awfully quiet, so she asks him what his daddy does. Little Johnny announces that "My daddy works as a strip tease dancer in a gay bar and he..." Shocked and not wanting that discussion to go any further, the teacher interrupts little Johnny and moves on with the lesson. During recess, the teacher comes up to little Johnny and asks "Does your daddy really work as a strip tease dancer in a gay nudie bar??" Little Johnny replies, "No, actually he coaches Defense at Ole Miss but I was too ashamed to tell anyone."

Folks, I’m have a bit of trouble on our site at the moment, mainly they have ceased allowing ftp uploads, just when I had, for the first time, completely relied on my software to control the page. I’m currently trying to change servers and, hopefully, will soon have another version up soon. Please, bear with me.