cparker

Not many can say they own over 300-plus, action packed cartridges for his or her Nintendo Entertainment System. But then again, Clint Parker, 35, is not like many other people. Clint has legal ownership of 312 certified Nintendo Game Paks, 215 of which he has mastered, and 282 of which he has conquered. When NP heard of this man's unprecedented accomplishments, they knew right away that he possessed god-like talent. NP immediately set up an interview so they could discuss hiring Clint as one of the certified experts.
As luck would have it, it was Clint's dream to become part of the NP staff. He was hired as a videogame consultant, which is a highly coveted position here at the NP Headquarters. He is currently working his way into to upper managment positions.
Some of Clints game tips include the following:
- Super Mario Brothers 3: "Don't waste your Warp Whistle."
- Bad Dudes: "Punch the bad guys until you find a gun."
- Super Tecmo Bowl: "Scout the teams you are playing against and see if they prefer to run or pass. Then adjsut your defense to stop them."
his biggest tip of all: "Keep practicing, and read lots of Nintendo Power to find more tricks and codes."

After reading this, you may have come to the conclusion that Clint is suffering from severe mental retardation. However, we assure you that he merely has ADD and genital warts. He may have no love life, but this is one guy that takes his gaming and Koff Beer seriously.
By the way, what the fuck is Koff beer? If anyone knows E-mail us.