Chicago Bears: It's okay to cry when Jim Harbaugh and Neal Anderson head your offense. The team that put together the �Superbowl Shuffle� aged 6 years and lost a lot of games. �The Refridgerator� William Perry, Mike Singletary, and rookie strong safety Mark Carrier make the Bears hard to score on, if you're a retarded midget.
Detroit Lions: With only Barry Sanders to look for, it�s a good thing the Lions have a four wide reviever play book and 6 no name receivers. None of this matters, because Rodney Peete is the quaterback throwing the ball. On defense, Jerry Ball and Chris Spielman are accompanied by Ray Crockett to try and stop opponents from anally raping their team mates. We discover that they were unsuccessful when we are reminded once again that Rodney Peete is the QB.
Green Bay Packers: The pre-Brett Favre Packers were bad. Real bad. This team sucks. They have Sterling Sharpe, so they have a plus. Unfortunately the QB is Don Majkowski, which is a minus. Perhaps the Packers management took some of the pieces of feces Majkowski left on the field while he was playing and signed them to play defense, because this defense is shitty. Very shitty.
Minnesota Vikings: HB Herschel Walker is in his prime. Get Chris Carter the ball and break Herschel loose a couple of times and you can do some damage. The only real problem with the offense is figuring out how to get rid of Wade Wilson as your QB. Chris Doleman is the only person you�ll recognize on this all-star defense from hell.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: If Vinny Testeverde wasn�t the QB, this team would be blown up. It appears that little blobs of vomit are getting tackled behind the line of scrimmage. The defense doesn�t help the perception of the little blobs of vomit, as they just appear to hit the middle and fall over. |
