Cincinnati Bengals: When your QB is named Boomer, and your star running back is named Ickey, you know you are playing professional sports in Cincinnati. The team is led by NT Tim Krumrie. Unfortunately, all that's following him is a group of unorganized, retarded southerners.
Cleveland Browns: the Bengals are bad, but thanks to the unending dismality of the Cleveland Browns, the Bengals never finished in last place in their division. Bernie fucking Kosar leads this cast of no-names on a march to Hell. Webster Slaughter has a cool name, but is not related to ultra 80's wrestling superstar, Sgt. Slaughter. Eric Metcalf is a decent kick returner, but can do nothing from a formation. On defense, the only player who wasn�t anally raped by elephants during games was Clay Matthews.
Houston Oilers: Warren Moon, Lorenzo White, Ernest Givins, Hawood Jeffries and Drew Hill make this team easy to score with. Ray Childress, Chris Dishman and Bubba McDowell make this a tough team to score on. Combine the two, and you have a team that it is easy to win with.
Pittsburgh Steelers: With Bubby Brister and Merril Hoge leading the way it�s no surprise you never hear someone shouting �I GET THE STEELERS!!!� Chris Calloway can return kicks. Greg Lloyd, Hardy Nickerson and a young Rod Woodson make it hard to believe this defense is so shitty, but believe me, it is. |
