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| Roots |
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| Born naked in the wheat fields of Grasswood, Saskatchewan, Tyson always disliked pants, so much so that he refused to don knickers until he brutally crashed during a massif front-side-360-Judo. Transforming tragedy into sweet fortune, Tyson wiped off his pussing thighs, relocated his kneecap, and noticed he had just turned over 263.4 kms on his skateboard odometer. He smiled; a future in endurance sport beckoned; and to prove himself worthy, he cracked 265-even on his way home. |
| Athletic Highlights |
| 2005 Toronto Marathon 5km ~ 1st Place Overall 2005 Storm The Trent N. Kawarthas ~ 2nd Place Overall 2005 Polaris MTB Orienteering (South Africa) ~ 1st Solo Male 2005 Cape Storm Orienteering (South Africa) ~ 3rd Overall 2004 Raid Pulse Adventure ~ 2nd Overall 2003 Toronto International Marathon 5km ~ 2nd Overall 2003 Ottawa Solstice Orienteering Series ~ 2nd Overall 2003 CIS Atlantic Conference Champs ~ 3rd in Pentathalon 2002 Nova Scotia Indoor 1500m Championships ~ 1st Overall Has bagged Everest Camp 1 without supplemental oxygen. Has bagged Mt. Blackstrap, SK (oxygen-aided), sustaining only mild pulmonary edema. |
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| Once entered a lawnbowling tournament at his grandmother's group home and finished eigth -- without wearing pants. Was once picked third overall in a game of Grade 7 Recess Kickball, but declined the offer to focus on refining the "Flickerbacker" Tiddlywink approach shot. Has successfully refined the "Flickerbacker" Tiddlywink approach shot. |
| Heroes |
| 1. Matthew Sheffield 2. That guy from "My Giant" 3. Hermione Granger 4. Eddie "the Eagle" Edwards 5. Lloyd Banks |
| Favorite Quotations |
| "I thoroughly dissaprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him." "Why do strong arms fatigue themselves with frivolous dumbbells? To dig a vineyard is worthier exercise for men." |
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