"You vaporized it?" Hermione gasped as Ron explained over breakfast why he had been so late getting back from Potions yesterday. "What did Snape say?""What? Before or after 'ten points from Gryffindor' and 'write an essay, two parchment rolls on Ethelbert the Unready'?" Ron replied, mimicking the affected voice of the Potions master.
"Oh, I am sorry, but you know, you really shouldn't have added those extra crystals." Hermione said and gave Ron a warning glance.
"It looked like troll puke before I did. Didn't think the potion could get much worse than that, right Harry?" Expecting Harry to join in, Ron looked up from his toast. "You all right, Harry?"
Staring into the tea that he stirred listlessly with his spoon, Harry had let his mind wander. The addition of cyan crystals to the Frigus Potion had caused a small explosion, the brunt of which, being lucky enough to sit across from Ron, Harry had inhaled. It felt as if he had breathed in ice water instead of the wispy blue smoke that rose from the cauldron. Even now, Saturday morning, his fingertips and toes tingled with cold. The sensation reminded him rather unpleasantly of his last encounter with a dementor. He raised a hand to touch the scar on his forehead, but drew it back just before anyone noticed.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, fine." Distracted by the thoughts whizzing in his mind, Harry plunked his spoon down right in the cup and splashed tea all over the sleeve of his robe.
"You sure, Harry? You look a little like Lupin about now." Ron shrugged his bright red hair out of his eyes and nodded toward the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor sitting at the teacher's table. Lupin sat next to Dumbledore and conversed quietly with the headmaster. Although quite young, silver threaded through the light brown of Lupin's shoulder length hair and fine lines were etched in the corners of his eyes. He usually looked tired and a bit worn out, but today Professor Lupin looked rather pallid and haggard. Harry followed Lupin with his eyes as the professor sneezed into the sleeve of his tattered robe and left the head table.
"Thanks, Ron. No, it's nothing." Harry pulled a bowl closer, avoided the puddle of tea, and examined his oatmeal. He didn't feel like discussing dementors with his friends. "It did look like troll puke, you're right."
"All gloppy and slimy, with blobs -"
"RON!" Disgusted, Hermione put down the spoonful of oatmeal she was about to eat. "I'm off to the library after breakfast, do you want to join me and maybe start that essay? I'll be helping Ginny with her Potions homework."
"Ugh, great, a morning in the library with Ethelbert the Unready and my sister. Game of Exploding Snap, Harry, after lunch?" Ron asked as he dug into his own cereal, untroubled by all thoughts of vomit, troll or otherwise.
"Oh, sure, when you get back," Harry replied, "I bet I'll be bored enough by then."
"Don't worry, Harry, I'll tell you all the interesting stuff Ethelbert wasn't prepared for." Ron crammed a final spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth and smiled.
In no mood himself to do work, Harry turned down the offer to accompany Ron, Ginny and Hermione. Once his friends had departed for their trip to library, Harry headed for the Gryffindor Tower, but turned back before he approached the Fat Lady's portrait. Going outside to practice Quidditch or visit Hagrid was out of the question. He couldn't, however, get in trouble wandering about the castle, as long as he stayed inside. Maybe a trip to the astronomy tower would pass the time.
Harry walked down the corridors, passing the half-open door of Lupin's office. If Lupin were in and not too busy, maybe he'd stop by there later, too. Most students were catching up on course work or otherwise entertaining themselves. Consequently, the halls didn't ring with hurried footsteps or echo with shouted greetings. It was quiet. Well, almost quiet.
"HuhEshoo!! Ehishhooo! uhhh, huhEhishhh!" At the sound of the muffled, but seemingly loud in the silence, sneezes Harry paused. The sound had to have come from Prof. R.J. Lupin.
Harry took a few steps back and peered into Lupin's office. The young Defense Against the Dark Arts master sat on the cot in the back of his office, face buried in a white handkerchief. His tense shoulders and urgent breathing told Harry that Lupin was about to sneeze again, even as the teacher nodded to acknowledge his presence.
"hehh, uhhuhh, HuhEshhh!! Ehhhushoo!" Neither too loud nor too violent, the sneezes still appeared to take a lot out of Lupin. The frayed edges of his sleeves fell from his wrists as he sat up straight and began to blow his nose.
While Lupin cleared his nose, Harry hovered in the doorway. Hands shoved into the pockets of his wizard's robes and toes wriggling in his socks, he tried to fend off the slight chill in the room. Must be the Frigus stuff yet, he thought. However, Lupin must feel even worse, he sure looked worse than Harry felt, no matter what Ron said.
"Bless you, sir." Harry said and prepared to step out of the office.
"Thanks, no, no don't leave." Lupin smiled despite the congestion and waved Harry into the room. "That is, if you don't mind, my, well, yes." He added with a nod to the handkerchief and a few sniffles.
Welcoming the company, Harry shuffled into Lupin's office and went to take a seat next to his teacher. Once there, he took a closer look at Lupin. The man had dark circles under his eyes and his skin was pale and pinched from fatigue. These features, however, weren't very unusual for Lupin; the man often looked like he hadn't slept the previous night. The watery, red eyes and flushed nose signaled a different ailment besides insomnia. Lupin looked like he needed a Mrs. Weasely to fuss over him, make him broth and tell him to rest or something. Resisting the urge to pat the man on the back as Lupin coughed into this sleeve, Harry waited for Lupin to recover and say something to him.
"Something on your mind, Harry?" Lupin asked after clearing his throat.
Harry knew he had been staring off into space, but couldn't exactly tell Lupin what he had been pondering, that is, how bad a head cold made him look. Instead, he mumbled a 'no' and scratched the toe of his sneaker against the floor.
"Hmm. Now, do you always wander the halls like one of the castle ghosts or is that reserved for weekends?" Lupin asked curiously, his voice still sounding stuffy after the nose blowing and sniffing.
"I, err, no, I was on my way to the astronomy tower. Just bored I s'pose." Harry looked up from his sneakers and shrugged his shoulders.
Lupin took a breath and opened his mouth to speak, but stopped and rubbed his nose with one finger. He paused, as if lost in thought, then jerkily raised the handkerchief to his face. He spoke softly and in gasps, as the itch in his nose built steadily.
"Ehh, ex-cuse, mehh, ehhh, hishhhooo! EhhHushoo! Eshhhaoo!" Clamping the cloth to his nose, Lupin blew hard and loud and then looked up again. His silvered brown hair had fallen over his shoulders and forehead, a small smile of relief crossed his face as he exhaled; he looked very young and vulnerable for a moment.
"Bless you, Professor. Would you like me to get you a cup of tea? You might feel better?" The thought came to Harry suddenly and he blurted out the offer before he knew what he had said.
"Why, thank you, Harry, but no, not now." Lupin's eyes smiled as he turned down the offer and pushed his hair off his face.
Rather embarrassed at his forwardness, Harry looked away. He liked Lupin; he didn't like seeing Lupin look like something that the Whomping Willow had had a go at. A soft squeeze to his leg got his attention back and he noticed Lupin starting to stand.
"You know what would make me feel better?" Lupin asked as he crumpled up the used handkerchief and wiped his nose once more.
"What?" Harry stood, too, ready to leave if Lupin needed to take a nap.
"A walk outside. Would you like to come, Harry? You look a little restless." Frowning with distaste at the damp handkerchief, Lupin drew a clean one from his sleeve and dropped the old one onto his desk. A fit of coughing came over him and he turned away, leaning on the desk for support. Pressing one hand to his chest Lupin let his breathing become more regular.
"Outside? But, you're, well, you're sick." The spurt of enthusiasm Harry felt for a second at the prospect of just getting out died when he recalled Lupin's cold.
"Just a head cold, Harry. And it's warmer outside than in my office." Lupin cocked his head to one side as he pulled his wand from his robe. "I like the sunlight."
"Well, okay, sure." Harry smiled and thought of the bright blue sky and warm autumn sunshine outside. His fingers felt warmer just imagining it. Perfect Quidditch weather, he thought.
"Good." Lupin took a close look at the handkerchief in his hand and pointed his wand at it. "Siccusemper!" Uttering words in a voice made hoarse from coughing and tapping the handkerchief with the end of his wand, Lupin put some charm on the cloth. He then tucked it back into his sleeve and replaced his wand.
"At least it'll stay relatively dry now after I get the sneezes. All right, come on then."
The weather outside put the porcelain blue of the ceiling in the Great Hall to shame that early fall day. Since the enchanted ceiling predicted the weather better than any forecast, Harry knew to expect a crystal clear sky and golden sunshine. However, no magic could compete with the sharp tang of the morning air or the glittery dew-drenched grass. Harry walked quietly by Lupin's side as the two traversed the grounds and headed toward the Quidditch field. He repeatedly turned down the professor's offers to sit down by the lake, worried that the ground would be too cold or damp for Lupin. Frequent sniffles and light coughs kept Harry on the alert and he often secretly glanced up at Lupin. He couldn't tell if his teacher was just being brave and strong for Harry's sake and would rather be in the castle resting.
A glance into the Broom Shed reaffirmed Harry's earlier assumption that the day was ideal for Quidditch. The absence of a full set of brooms indicated which house's team had the field for practice that morning.
"Oh, the Slytherins are out there." Harry sighed and noted the rack for the Nimbus Two Thousand and One brooms was empty. Why Slytherin? Even Hufflepuff on a bad day was better than the gloating smiles of Malfoy's teammates.
"Well, I'm a Gryffindor man myself," Lupin replied, an amused smile crossing his face as he sensed Harry's approval, "but Quidditch is Quidditch. Let's watch for a bit?"
" 'Kay." Harry agreed, figuring Lupin was right. Quidditch is just fun to watch. Turning on his heel, Harry strode away from the Broom Shed a few paces. A small noise from Lupin made him stop and look back.
The professor had halted mid-step, the profile of his upturned face sharp against the clear light of morning. With shaky, hesitant movements, Lupin fumbled for the handkerchief in his sleeve. A flicker of hazel between wavering eyelids disappeared as the sneezes interrupted his search.
"Ahhishhhh! Ehushhoo! Ishhhhahhooo!" Muttering a pardon, Lupin snatched up the handkerchief and readied himself to catch the rest of the fit and the tickle built up maddeningly.
"Hishhahh! Uhhh, ehhushuuuh! Shooo, ishoo!" Blowing his nose strongly and coughing into the present handkerchief, Lupin opened his eyes as Harry touched his forearm.
"Bless you?" A little shy, as he was not only alone but also outside of the office with Lupin, Harry quietly blessed the man.
"Thanks," Lupin answered with distraction, "you can go on ahead of me, I, uhhh, hishsoo! Ehushh! ohh, my, I, juhh, just, ehh, hehhh, AhhEshooo! EhhiKitshooo!!"
Debating on whether he ought to suggest to his professor that he go see Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing or go have a rest in his office, Harry pressed his lips together nervously. He half felt like it was his fault that Lupin was standing here, halfway to the Quidditch field, sneezing like crazy. There was no doubt in his mind, however, that he would not go on to the Quidditch field alone. Especially when he saw the figure of Professor Snape heading toward them, obviously on the way to watch the Quidditch as head of Slytherin house.
"Professor?" Harry asked once Lupin's nose seemed more calm.
"Yes?" Speaking in a stuffy voice, one hand still clamping the handkerchief over his runny nose, Lupin began to walk again.
"Are you sure .."
"Ahhh, Potter!" Snape swept toward them, immediately cutting Harry off. "Wandering the grounds? Of course you are, you always do just as you like, don't you? Even when it has been forbidden."
Snape leant forward a bit, his lip curling into a twisted snarl of a smile. Harry could almost taste the delight that Snape would take in punishing him or at least taking away more points from Gryffindor. But before either of them could say something, Lupin cleared his throat harshly and rested his hand on Harry's shoulder. Snape's black eyes darted up and he stood to face Lupin.
"It's all right, Severus, he's with me." Lupin spoke evenly, his voice calm and cool despite it's nasal sound. "I'll keep an eye on him. I, excuse me " And turning his body away from Prof. Snape, Lupin sneezed again, less desperately than last time. "Ehishhoo! Huh, ehhshuh!" He pinched his nose to quell the lingering sensation and gave his nose a cursory rub with the cloth he held.
"You sound bad, Lupin, worse than usual. Are you sure you're up to protecting young Potter here by battling a dementor?" The underhanded insult did not go unnoticed by Harry as he watched Snape glare condescendingly at Lupin. The thought of dementors made his insides churn, but he felt safe with Lupin. Harry made a move to argue; he knew Lupin could get rid of a dementor with a mere flick of his wand.
"Or Sirius Black?" A thin smile curved the Potions master's lips as he watched Lupin's face. Lupin's jaw tightened at the mention of the name and the light in his eyes faded briefly. Harry felt the fingers grip his shoulder a little more tightly before Lupin recovered and spoke again.
"No harm will come to Harry. I'm sure we both appreciate your concern, Severus." With a smile that seemed all too friendly in Harry's opinion, Lupin bowed to the other professor and directed Harry along their walk. As soon as they were far enough from Snape, Lupin let out a low, long breath.
"Well, it's a good thing Professor Snape is in a good mood today, or that Quidditch practice would be painful to watch." Lupin mused as he and Harry approached the field and stadium where the Slytherins were practicing.
Harry shot a look of disbelief at Lupin, but smiled back when he saw the grin on his professor's face. Even with the watery, bloodshot eyes and congested nasal passages, Lupin was still able to put up with Snape's taunts. Yet, dementors, Sirius Black, one of them had a marked effect on Lupin. Harry could still feel the tension the mention of one or both of them had created in Lupin.
Once they sat down in the bleachers, Harry turned to look at Lupin once more. The professor was rubbing his eyes slowly and shaking his head, as if to get rid of whatever made him feel ill. Even when healthy, Lupin wasn't much too look at. His tired eyes and pale skin only played up the impression of shabbiness that his old robes gave. Soft-spoken, good-natured, his gentle eyes and friendly smile also made Lupin appear non-threatening, well, as much as any professor could appear non-threatening.
"uhh, huh! Hushooo! Ahhhuhshhah!" Sneezing forcefully into the crook of his elbow, Lupin curled his body away from Harry. "Ehhnishoo! Huh, ehchooo!! AhhhahCHOO!"
A light, hoarse cough into his handkerchief preceded the usual after sneeze nose blowing and then Lupin turned back around. He pardoned himself, looked down as he lowered the handkerchief and apologized for his poor company.
Averting his eyes as soon as Lupin glanced at him, Harry followed the Quidditch players. A flash of silver blond hair and deep green robes accompanied Malfoy's exultant whoop as he caught the Golden Snitch. Malfoy, like Snape, would probably think Lupin too weak.
"You're dad was a good seeker." Lupin said in a sudden, quiet voice.
"Really? I mean, yeah, " Harry mumbled, caught off guard.
"I'm sure he'd have liked to see you play for the House Cup. In fact," Lupin said, with a sad smile, "I know he would."
Harry gnawed his lip, quiet for a while. Would his dad be proud of him? Even if he wasn't quite good enough? Even if one look at a dementor sent him into spirals of horror? Even if he couldn't understand Divination? Even if he wanted to knot Malfoy's pale blond hair with a bubble gum curse every other Tuesday? Sure, he was 'the boy who lived', but, lived to do what?
A rustle of clothing drew him out of his thoughts as Lupin shivered slightly and shook an errant lock of hair out of his eyes. Digging into the pocket of his robes, Harry rummaged about until he found what he was looking for. He held his hand out and eagerly offered a small, foil wrapped packet to Lupin.
"Here," he said, offering a semi-squashed chocolate frog, "it'll make your cold fell less miserable."
"Chocolate?" Lupin looked pleased, but surprised. "Why don't we share it? Break it in half."
Harry opened the package, divided up the chocolate and handed Lupin his (slightly larger) bit, along with the picture card of a famous wizard. He chewed his own piece and watched as Lupin nibbled at the sweet and gazed at the card thoughtfully.
"You don't collect these?" He asked and smiled as the wizard on the card smiled and pointed a wand at an oozing cauldron of purple goop.
"I already have Lavinius of Lugdunum, and so does Ron, and Hermione doesn't collect them," Harry shrugged, "so you can keep it."
"Thanks. Your father, oh, excuse me-" Speaking thickly and slowly, Lupin unfurled his handkerchief again. Exasperation clouded his features as he leaned toward the cloth.
"Uhh, huh, hehhhehhe, ehh, Itschooo! Ahuhshhhoo! Hutchoo! Ehushhh! Oh, my," Lupin groaned and took to snuffling and wiping his nose.
"I'm afraid I'm ill at a rather bad time, and you're unfortunate enough to see the worst of it, Harry." Gratefully accepting yet another 'bless you' and clearing his head, Lupin watched the players on their brooms.
"James used to laugh at me," Lupin flicked the card between two of his long, slim fingers, "because I tried so hard to get good marks. Said I would be the only one out of our friends to get my picture on a Famous Witches and Wizards Card. "
The DADA master sniffled strongly and set the card down to blow his nose. Harry looked over at the card and chuckled to think of Lupin instead of Lavinius trying to smooth robes that got wrinkled from bending his card.
"However, you'll never open up a chocolate frog and see Professor Remus J. Lupin waving to you." Lupin continued, his nose still runny. "But my friends were still proud of me."
"So, um, being good at Quidditch," Harry asked, "outweighs going all cold and scared in front of a dementor?"
"Well, in a sense, yes." Lupin smiled a watery, yet reassuring smile.
Smiling back, with the warm sunshine on his back and the wonderful thought that he could catch the Golden Snitch twice as fast as Draco Malfoy, Harry honestly thought that it wouldn't be long until Professor Lupin did get himself onto one of those cards. He sure deserved it.
finis