Eeriness crept through the night in the quiet hours before dawn. It was different from the middle of the night when the shadows that lurked in the darkness did not murmur so faintly, but presented themselves with a clarity that only darkness could provide. The demons, vampires and other beings that daylight hid Buffy could handle. It was a matter of using her instinct to deploy the skill and strength she had. The only thought and emotion she needed were focused on the task before her � slaying. She was good at that and the years she had spent pitting herself against various demons had made her better. Maybe the best.
Tonight had been good. Buffy had taken down a gang of vamps � about seven or eight, she had stopped counting when the crunch of bones and cries of defeat had filled the night air � with enough help from Giles that she did not feel overwhelmed. She had even earned the brief smile and tacit congratulations that told her Giles was pleased with her work that night. The adrenaline that had powered her fight and made her laugh with pride at her Watcher's few words after it faded by the time she approached her dormitory. Night had faded, too, and dawn was only a few hours away by that time. It was then she could feel that eeriness pressing on her, the strange silence that felt like isolation.
The creatures of night had disappeared into the dark, no longer daring to face the Slayer. Day had not yet come; it would be a long time before the campus showed any sign of life. Saturday mornings were slow and lazy and most students were asleep by four am, not to awaken any time before noon. Except for Buffy. The loneliness pressed in on her more closely when she moved from the darkness outside to the hard, bright light of the dormitory hallways. No muffled voices came from behind the closed doors, no music blared from the room at the end of the corridor. Silence had taken the place of the cacophony of noise that, even when she was alone, helped Buffy feel part of something more than herself.
Buffy passed the row of closed doors quietly, walking carefully as if the sound of her own footsteps would destroy the quiet of the halls. When she got to her own room, she paused a moment. The room would be dark. Willow would be asleep. She would have to continue to be quiet and careful, but the loneliness would disappear with the muted dark and soft sound of her roommate's breathing. The smile of relief that began to appear on Buffy's face quickly changed to a sound of disappointment as the doorknob turned in her hand.
"Door's unlocked," Buffy said to herself, "and the lights are on� Will?" Her voice sounded weird in the quiet room with the door still open to the quiet hallway. The door clicked shut behind her and Buffy walked into her dorm room. "Willow?"
A quick look around the room told Buffy that Willow was not there. A closer look revealed a rumpled bed with a collection of textbooks, notebooks and papers strewn over it that told her Willow had been there and would probably be back soon. "Probably," Buffy muttered and let her breath out in a long sigh.
Every other night this week when she had gotten back after patrol, Willow had been there. Buffy had slipped into their room, just like tonight, and found Willow curled up in her bed, sleeping lightly enough to mumble a reply when Buffy told her good night. Yesterday, Willow had sat up on her bed and pulled Buffy into a warm hug as she stood next to Willow's bed and told her good night. The hug was longer, closer and tighter than any other hug they had shared. It dispelled the sad coldness of feeling alone from Buffy's heart.
But it was not just the hug. It was Willow. It was Willow and the way she looked at Buffy, the way she touched her hand as they talked, the way she smiled at Buffy, and only at Buffy since Oz had left. Buffy had made it her job to hold Willow when she cried over Oz and it meant a lot that the smile that finally reappeared on Willow's lips was for her. Her smile. Her Willow.
Her Willow, who took such neat, precise notes in psychology class and then recopied them into a notebook with a four-color pen. Buffy could not help but smile as she flipped through some of the papers on Willow's bed. Her own notes looked nothing like this, doodles in the margin and notes to Willow obscuring that they were from the same class as Willow's. Biting her lip, Buffy made another little disappointed noise. If Willow were going to be awake this late, she ought to be curling up with Buffy, not with a notebook.
Having changed into a comfortable pair of pajama pants and tank top, Buffy sat back down on Willow's bed and looked at the notebook again. These wanting to curl up with Willow thoughts were not new, but they felt different now that Oz was gone and Angel was long, long gone. They felt less selfish, more about her and Willow and not just about her. The hugs and smiles and little touches had given Buffy hope to think that it was about her and Willow and not just her.
"Hey. You're back."
Buffy looked up from the papers to see Willow lock the door, turn off the overhead light and shuffle over to the bed. She had on the red plaid flannel pajamas that were just a little to big on her, so that the neckline slipped and revealed her shoulder. They were also soft and warm and felt wonderful when she hugged Buffy close to her. Pulling herself from that thought, Buffy shook her head slightly and returned the smile Willow gave her. "Yep. And so are you. Where �" Buffy frowned as Willow sat down on the bed heavily. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, okay." Willow shrugged and gave a little nod. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, sniffling when she rubbed her nose. "I was hoping you'd be home when I got back from the bathroom," Willow said after scooting closer to Buffy and putting her books and papers on the floor in a neat pile.
"I'm definitely back and definitely glad about it. Two extra hours of patrol on a Friday night are not fun. Especially when Friday night becomes Saturday morning."
"Or if Friday night is cold? And damp?" Willow sniffled quietly when Buffy stroked her hair off one shoulder. The light from the bedside lamp, despite not being strong, was bright enough to show the pink around Willow's eyes and nose. With a mumbled apology, she reached around Buffy to get a tissue.
"I don't know� I mean, the vamps don't pay attention to the icky weather, I guess I really didn't either tonight. Not that it isn't nice being back here�" Buffy frowned. She touched her fingertips to Willow's hair and stroked it again. "Sure you're okay?"
Willow nodded hesitantly. She turned away to blow her nose, sniffled a few more times, then looked at Buffy again with a smile that was obviously trying for confident. "I'm fine."
"Fine isn't staying up on Friday night with all those books, and looking all tired and sniffly."
"I wanted to wait for you, Buffy. That-that's fine, isn't it?" Between the plaintive words and the tiny, sniffling sounds, Willow managed to get in a smile that melted Buffy's heart.
"Oh, of course. It's more than fine. It's... I love coming home to you." Buffy slipped her fingers through Willow's hair, the fine softness allowing her to stroke easily. "I was worried, you looked kinda heartachey."
"Not heartachey, not with you." Willow had been slowly snuggling in closer to Buffy, but she paused and gave her head a little shake. A runny nose had her rubbing the tissue under her already pinkish nostrils
"Still sniffly, though?"
"Uh-huh..." Willow's reply was not more than a hitched breath and a series of wet, urgent sounding sniffles. She frowned with concentration, inhaled carefully through her mouth, and curled away from Buffy. "heh� hehChishh!"
"Bless you!"
"Th-thanks... I... hih� h'Chsh! Ish! Chishoo!" The sneezes sounded wet and urgent like the sniffles that had preceded them. Willow stayed curled away from Buffy as she sneezed and only let the tension out of her shoulders after she blew her nose. "Sorry... I really needed to sneeze."
"Bless you," Buffy murmured sympathetically. The sneezes had messed up Willow's hair and left a fuzzy look on her face. Without thinking, Buffy reached over and touched her fingers to the fall of red hair again, gently pushing it back from Willow's neck, and then petting even more gently. "Sniffly and sneezy?"
"I think I'm catching a cold."
"Here � tissues." Buffy handed the box to Willow. Holding back the urge to snuggle herself close to Willow was difficult, but Buffy managed to quell it by rubbing Willow's back as she cleared her nose. "You sounded okay this morning."
Willow shrugged. "My throat felt scratchy, and my nose was itchy. I sort of sniffled my way through class, came back here for a nap, and then woke up with the sneezies."
"You're so not fine if you're getting a cold in your nose. Come on." Buffy let Willow pull another handful of tissue out of the box while she fixed the blankets and pillows. "You needed a nice, cozy night, not a study night."
Instead of getting into bed, Willow edged closer to Buffy. She hesitated a moment before putting her arms around Buffy with a warm hug. "Maybe we could still have a cozy night here, together, me and you?" Willow kept her arms around Buffy, still snuggled close, still sniffling a bit. "Just me and you, Buffy?"
The hug held the promise of everything Buffy had been wishing for, not just on her walk home tonight, but also from that first indefinable moment when she had first noticed how cold her life would be without Willow. Or how wrong it would be to turn Willow down when Buffy wanted nothing more than to stay close and keep her warm. "Just me and you," she agreed. "Let's get in bed."
It took some squirming about and adjusting of blankets, but eventually Buffy snuggled the two of them beneath the warm covers and spooned herself behind Willow. The room was dark, she could feel and hear Willow's soft breathing next to her. She could get used to this, Buffy thought. Just her and Willow.