Night to Night

Stardate: 10 - 16 - 01
look at the date of my last post. and then get this. i'm sad. really effin sad. lonely too. i wish i could say that i am not to blame for all of this, that i did not in essence bring it upon myself, but i have. big thing i have to work through and handle by myself. i still hurt really bad from the attack. week ago tonight. i'm still in disbelief to an extent. i always knew living in richmond had its 'threats' but i don't know. i've managed to see come people's true colors in good and bad respects. people who you think are your friends can really surprise you in very poor ways. and the people you really don't think are your friends come through and positive realizations come about. val and katie kay have been nothing but absolute dolls to me, always have been. val is absolutely incredible the way she's been looking out for me. i hope she knows how much i appreciate her and all she's done for me. she's quite swell. i hope i don't fail out of school. that would be very bad. there was that week i couldn't get up. and now with all this on my back i can't sleep and the alarm doesn't phase me. what a rut. digging out though. i hope. i'm going to start cutting my hair. dance with myself in the dark. wish i was soaked in cinnamon. destroyed, yours always. life is what you make of it, really. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 9 - 4 - 01
weeks have passed and i've finally adapted to this place. it's pretty fantastic and spectacular. i've made some solid and wonderful friends. i'm happy. but at the present moment i'm sick. blah. and blah. my stomach hurts something awful. but i almost feel better. i feel it on the horizon. what else. i miss mikey. and he needs to come back. talked to my ma today. miss her a lot it turns out. i miss everybody i'd really like to go home for a day or so. it'd be a nice change of pace. i miss freckles. and chad. and amy. and my family. but i'm happy here. alicia is bearing the last zion. that's pretty cool. but yes. love. life is a series of turns. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 8 - 24 - 01
well. its friday in richmond. these past few days have been absolutely incredible. this is going to be the best year and i am so incredibly excited to be here. there's so much to do and so many great people. its' just. ..great. only thing is that i would really like my atm card right about now and i'm pretty much entirely broke. 4th st. cafe is running me dry. oh well. its all well worth it. am fm was cancelled tonight. but tomorrow. oh sweet sweet tomorrow. GWAR-B-Q. that's all i need to say. jessbus. then strike anywhere. it should all be great. i'm super excited about everything. even school to start. i've met a lot of people outside these past two nights. its absolutely spectacular. they dig my vibe. at least i hope they do. black socks are sexy. give me your skull. life is quite the experience. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 8 - 21 -01
i'm finally in richmond. it's pretty okay. i miss my best friend more than i can explain. it's complicated to be somewhere and not just have her around or be able to pop over to her house and drink her diet coke. miss my puppy too. i'm a little sad, but i'm sure things will get better. i'm very apprehensive about everything and scared of going to class as pathetic as that sounds. i don't know. thoughts thoughts thoughts. i'm hanging out with jeremy tonight. that should be pretty nice. more later. life isn't/wasn't constant. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 8 - 12 - 01
i'm nothing more than a week long vacation apparently. i'm not as blind as you think me to be. i don't want to sink into a shutup space where i can't open myself up. thats the case too often. but when i do open up. today happens. i only wished for your happiness. lies didn't need to stem forth. life if today. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 7 - 31 - 01
everything seems so far away right now. i'm living outside myself in a sort of tangled stream of events. comes across that some things just aren't going to stop and i need to let things happen. i've accepted change. i'm welcoming more in 20 days. i'm being pulled towards the north and the south all at one time. kind words and simple gestures get me through each passing day, filling a space that i miss more everyday. its not filling it though. i can't find the right words. it's not going to end. life is winding. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 7 - 23 - 01
the week past was the most wonderful i will ever remember. i miss this boy:

terribly and cannot wait to touch his face again. i miss you david. life is elsewhere. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 7 - 11 - 01

she's all mine. my baby. life has some cute little pups with nothing but love. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 6 - 15 - 01
long day over. beautiful sleep. life is tired. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 6 - 13 - 01
i don't really like star trek. i can't get into it. i can't get into the character development, the fact that i have to swallow not only these freaky characters, but their whole world as well. and is it me, but i don't even know who the bad guys are supposed to be? are there bad guys? is this about the relativity of truth, the subjectivity of space politics??? life is analytical. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 6 - 12 - 01
the majority of this evening was sitting outside with amy. i'm always impressed to find that after the amount of time we've known each other, we're never at a loss for things to talk about. she's one of the very few i ultimately feel entirely comfortable around, and as such, is one of the very few that causes me to shed my ever-pervasive, though not always evident, shyness. i really cannot put into words how happy i am to have her as a friend

Stardate: 6 - 13 - 01
Stardate: 6 - 5 - 01
oh new york new york. how the light you keep from me brightens my eyes. life is expectant. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 5 - 29 - 01
needles in my chest, searching through to find my heart. the pain is all too real and the burning's prevalency consumes me whole. let me up. life is. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 5 - 27 - 01
things have been a might confusing lately. with its ends, beginnings, midways...so many paths leading me in so many different directions. i'm so lost right now and all i really want to do is find some sort of stability. something that will be an everyday thing, like maybe i should join a bowling league or something. i just need something else to ground me because nothing else is working lately. i've been so uninspired. i miss it. life is expectant. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 5 - 16 - 01
i've walked in these shoes and you can take them back. life is in someone else's shoes. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 5 - 15 - 01
whew, someone's been lazy with updating the journal. many apologies. i haven't been that interesting really. i've been able to figure out a lot of things and sort through a lot more. i've made some tough decisions about what i want to do with myself in the years to come and where i want to be, where i want to give myself the chance to be. too many of my friendships have slipped through the cracks this year, and that's unfortunate. you can't change people though in some cases. you just have to let them be and let them do their own thing. some people will always be there for you though. no matter what has happened. i'm glad i have friends like that. there is only really a week left of high school. forever. it hasn't really sunk in yet. i'm glad it's going to be over. i won't miss the dramatics, but there are a couple things that go with high school that will be missed. the next week is going to be hell trying to finish up a stat project with sylvia. neither of us is motivated to do anything. she's done a lot the most recently so i guess it's about my turn to do something. buy anywho. it's almost amy's birthday. it's gonna be great. i'm excited for her. then my birthday is a month after that. yay! but yes. whenever i think future i'm reminded of all the things i have to do before school is out. ugh. oh well. i'm so ready for a change of pace. and it's almost summer. and everyone knows what that means. an abundance of men. haha. well. not really. but chrissypoo is coming up around laurie's birthday and i haven't seen him in such a long time. it'll be great. i'm excited. we're going to do fun things in dc and whatnought. but enough. i'm gonna go get on the phone. take me to new york. life is the new weezer album. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 4 - 30 - 01
i'm bound by the past, not to the point of stranglation, but to where foremost on my mind at times everyday are events that i wish nothing more than to forget. i wish i could speak my mind more clearly. i should tell people i care about that they mean a lot to me more often. if i did that i think things would be a lot more...i dunno. they just would be. that's all. life is so complicated at times, needlessly. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 4 - 27 - 01
everything can be so confusing and so disconcerting sometimes. but the fact that it can be so beautiful astounds me nonetheless. i can be okay with the bad as long as there is that one constant leveling everything out. just the one. life isn't taken for granted. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 4 - 18 - 01
holy roadtrip batman! life is a long drive. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 4 - 17 - 01 Pt. II
good day, many records, and some guy wanted to show amy and i his "style". never before has the word style taken on meaning a penis. and never again will i ever be able to think of it on any other terms. what a sick sick GQ man. he didid bear a striking resemblance to andy however. hmm...alright. but yes. sleep. being dormant is good. xox. life is "all style" (ahh amy!!) ::fade to black::

Stardate: 4 - 17 - 01
it's been a while since i've written anything down in here. i'm sure my ranting has not been missed a great deal. what is there to say...i'm currently on my break, off of work, and bored out of my mind. trips to richmond, williamsburg, and baltimore are to be expected. hardly trips. but it's a long drive for me. i really should just go to kentucky. details details. i don't know. my head hurts, and i'm kinda stressed out. whine whine whine and what nought. i'm quite eager to break the chains that bind me and get out of this house. almost unbearable at times. it's so loud. i really need to go take a shower and stuff though. george gets out around 12 or something, then reptilian. wahoo! i'm gonna buy some new records! :D life is buying me a new record today. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 3 - 31 - 01
i am so frustrated with everything. anything and everything. i can't sit still for a moment because i get claustrophobic or something to that effect. i'm currently accepting applications to do things to get out of my house. please help me. and for the one who this is meant, and if you think it's you you're probably right. please open your eyes. life is so effing GRR right now. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 3 - 28 - 01
i sit here tired and alone. nothing's changed. nothing is the same either though. i can't make sense of anything, but it doesn't really get to me. why should i allow it to. the sky is so clear out right now. not a single cloud out there. i like clouds. i'm still in phase one of my great plan. i'm really not sure how far i'm going to take this thing. my hair's not long anymore. :sigh: i think i'll be okay. ha! okay, well. i should probably go do some work or something. what a pointless journal entry. why are you reading this still. life needs some green tea. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 3 - 16 - 01
i'm so rocked. everything hurts. supreme whine-age takes over my very being. i learned how to use the word "grill" today in context meaning one's own business and goings on. that made me happy. i had some car problems. lots of people visited me at work. laurie and lauren brought me food. what else...i was late to work. my manager was up on my "grill" about everything under the sun. we have a really cute bunny book. i miss andy. andy's at a show very far away. and i'm ready to reture to my chambers for the night. farewell my friends. life is fresh yo. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 3 - 15 - 01
this desperation is eating through my skin to my insides, lodging itself deep within my being. i wonder where this is all going. all these crammed and anxious evenings alone. these moments of beauty we share that i fit inbetween all of the nonsense and garbage. i have to keep reminding myself that things will work out as the days continue to stand and die in my arms.
i really felt like giving up today.
i really wish i had something more than my own thoughts to fill my mind.
but this is self-inflicted.
patience is my virtue, i can wait.
iloveyou
life just is. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 3 - 06 - 01
i'm sitting here eating my little salad and there is only one thought on my mind. yes. the end. i don't know. i'm really quite chilled. it's so windy outside. i thought i was going to die on my way out of work. it was stinging my face and such. and when i was driving i could feel the car being moved by the wind. it was pretty scary. but then again everything is pretty scary to me. i'm slightly worried right now that my house is to be set upon by a certain group of moronic boys. i swear to god if you guys do it i'm never going to talk to you again. i'm sure you'd like that though wouldn't ya??! alright, well. i'm off to seek sanctuary in my room. they can't find me there. life is hidden under the bed. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 3 - 01 - 01
i just want everything don't i. life is full of expectation. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 2 - 24 - 01
lots of good bands tonight. lots. it was good stuff. yay chaddums and yay \m/. thank you. but yes. lots of shaggy haired boys tonight. too much temptation. i made the mistake of yelling at some guys outside of tower when i was with amy earlier and then we ended up talking to them and they were really nice and sat in my car for a while. god that story just looks kinda pointless and dumb. but yes. i like meeting interesting people. especially after i mistake them for cute little 13 year old boys. rawr. oops. hmm...alright, here we go.
STORY TIME
this is last night before laurie and i met up with the boys. we were sitting in burger king in fair oaks and she was eating her food when i decided to go into the bathroom. well. i'm all in there and stuff and i hear someone walk in. and that's it. i hear them walk in and stay there. not much else. but i know they didn't go out. when i walk out of the stall there wasn't anyone there and i was kinda like...weird. but i didn't think anything of it beyond the stupid ghost of waldenbooks joke. so wheni got back out there for on particular reason i babbled it to laurie and she told me that like a few seconds after i had gone into the bathroom a short hispanic man had gone back towards the bathroom. i asked her if he had come out and she responded with a no. my response to that was just a weird. i didn't think that much of it. OKAY. this is when it starts getting weird. i have my back to the entrance to the bathroom and laurie is facing it. well she's eating and we're talking and blah blah blah when suddenly she kicks me real hard in the leg and looks at me wide eyed and gestures her eyes so i'll look behind myself. i turn around and see nothing. then i turn to her and she gestures again. i look...and i'm about to turn around again and i hold my gaze one more second then i see it. the weird hispanic man is on all fours on the ground peering at up from around the corner. i see him jerk back and i SCREAM. i've never been so freaked out. we were surrounded by people and i scream my story and a guy went back and was a few seconds later followed out by the little freak. it was so weird. he just walked out like nothing had happened. i still feel so violated. i'm never going to the bathroom in a public place ever again. i'd rather soil myself. well maybe not. but its gonna have to be pretty bad for me to do it! ugh. so weird. SO WEIRD. i'm done.
hmm...what else do i have to impart to you all...i want to graduate now...i want to see andy, and i want tattoos. the end. much luff. life is full of peeping jerk faces. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 2 - 20 - 01
sick. i'm real sick. and blah. i sound really really stupid. but that's okay. i have to be better tomorrow because i have to work. yay for work. and i have to go to school so i can work my way to graduating so i can go to college. yay for college. and i have to go cash some paychecks. yay for money. ugh. i'm delirious. i need to stop typing. he's out with the girl. the end. life is prescribed. ::fade to black::
Stardate: 2 - 19 - 01
whoa, talk about a long time in returning. sorry i haven't updated this in such a long time. i've been really kind of busy as most of you know. my uncle jim was buried today, so i'm kinda sad. i couldn't go to the funeral or anything. i never really got the chance to know him as well as i should have. life's funny like that i guess. you don't realize how important some people are until you can't tell them. things with me are as follows: work, school, shows, quiet free time, and sleep. what else do i need. i'm going to start trying to update this everyday again. see how long this lasts. hehe. but yes. i'm off to go get my tire plugged. fun stuff eh? i certainly think so. much love to everyone. life is in need of plugs. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 2 - 3 - 01
first of all, i would love to thank my lovely groundhog friend for giving me six more weeks of wonderfulness. :muah: i had to work tonite. then i "partied" a little. and now i'm just home and tired. and a phantom boy called my house around 11, but i wasn't here. LEAVE MESSAGES! thanks...anyways. work was pretty much entirely uneventful. tyler came in with some friends and that was somewhat entertaining. i don't see him very often. jan-bot was the head closing manager, so no fun was had. i should have gone to see the new amsterdams and dashboard tonite. i'm not that bitter, but it would have been nice. nothing is going to match up to the walls of jericho and hope conspiracy show last weekend anyways. pure amazement. but yes. i'm going to finish eating my stuffing then go draw something pretty. life is callous. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 1 - 29 - 01
i'm exhausted. fully and entirely. anyone want to carry me up the stairs? or put me on a dolly and cart me up? i can't do it by myself. oh well. pretty boring day. met some cool people in the store today, matt was a shady jerk (typical), and i had a super bowl party with freckles...only i watched lifetime and she was sleeping...i'm so pathetic. i had entertainment for a little. but they left, and i was tired. go figure. tomorrow is going to be fully dedicated to sleeping. school and otherwise. the end. life is one long progressive nap. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 1 - 28 - 01
if i allow people to control my emotions i'm never going to be happy. mad at me? okay. happy with me? neat. indifferent towards me? great. don't know me? your problem. messing with my head? back off. the end. i wish it was that simple in my head though. unfortunately it's not. i'm working on it though. yay! i'm so tired of thinking. some things literally make me sick to think about. i can think of two in particular. so lets not think about those. lets think about bunnies, pandas, and james dean. goodness i need a hug. and someone to hold my head up for me. i'm just so tired. but i'm happy. i think this is happy at least. yea, it is. life is uncertain. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 1 - 21 - 01
i don't know what to say anymore. i cannot find words that properly convey the emotions that i feel. i'm in sort of a desperation. not for understanding or love but for freedom. i am so bound and trapped in my own house and community that it almost pains me to wake up and know i am still in my room. these are my last months here. the last months where i'll have to put up with people and their false expectations of me and irrational deductions of who or what i am. i'll be able to live out the principles i believe in and learn new consequences that come will with new decisions made soully by myself. i want to be able to walk into a room and not have 5 of leer at me in the course of thirty seconds when they don't even know who i am or what i'm about. for all they know i could be just like them but why would they care to see that. they don't know me, why would they want to i guess is how they perceive things. just maybe people somewhere else will not be like this all the time. this area and its residents are beyond hypocritical and just all out mean. guess i managed to find the words. life is a newly begun journey. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 1 - 12 - 01
he's not just a boy. and he's going to break my heart too soon. life isn't full enough of storage room kisses. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 1 - 11 - 01
yarg again. i almost hate how everytime i talk to him i am like ten times more attracted to him than before. i don't know what it is. he's such an insatiable nerd. maybe that's just it. i don't know. and he didn't kiss me tonite. so i'm a little deprived, horny, and upset. why did i just type that. oh well. its like 12 o clock and it feels like 3. i hate being such a late night baby. i've got so much stuff on my mind it's insane. the drama of being a stupid teenager is getting on my nerves and such. i hate it when i go through my teenage bouts. i don't know. hmm...brian called me from school today, he sounds so miserable. i feel sorry for the kid. being down there is good for him i think though so that he can get his mind back to whats important school wise. he's a smart kid. yay brian. anyways, i gotta sleep. life is a kissless night. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 1 - 7 - 01
i don't know if i could be too much worse with updating this stupid thing. oh well. i'm busy back off. got the boy. yay. well for the most part i think. he kissed me finally last night and it was absolutly brilliant. i don't think i want to expect much out of it though. there still is the age thing and the fact he's petrified of my parents and we keep opposite time schedules. but who knows how things work out. i never thought even this was gonna happen. life's funny that way. hmm...i just realized that something else kinda sucks a lot but we're not gonna worry about that just now and especially not on here....oh boy. um well yes. i'm done and i have exams all this week. isn't that spectacular. i thought so. big out to brooklyn. life is full of unexpected kisses. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 29 - 00
alright. allow me to think. we've got the boy. he's amazing on so many levels it makes me cry. literally. i dunno what to do about it though. he's a wee smidgen older than me. and we're on opposite time schedules so it kinda sucks. and he lives way out over yonder in what he refers to as "arlandria". i dunno. i think about him too much and it's really sixth grade. oh well. what are ya gonna do. "hey big boy, get over here and lets do some serious hand holdin." ?? i wish! *sigh* and *sniff*. i'm going to sleep. it's been a long day and i should not be as tired as i am right now. life is really fluffin sixth grade this past week. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 25 - 00
christmas...its not a good thing. but why should i complain. i mean, i got things and so many people in the world didn't. but that's not why i hate christmas. i hate christmas because it's so fake. it's only a time for everyone around you to put on a front for a day of unending joy and family perfection when in fact 364 days of the year its not that way at all. why can't they act that way everyday, and why can't people understand that it's not how much the gifts cost or how many you got, but the thought and the consideration that went into them. i dunno. it's just kinda sad. this christmas i didn't get people much just because i didn't want to play into it all. i don't know. maybe my feelings are unfounded. i work way too much, and i close tommorrow with matt. that should be fun. i'm tired of thinking. merry christmas to those who see through to it's true importance and meaning. life is full of disappointments. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 20 - 00
everything right now isn't put together. i'm being ripped in ten thousand different directions and everything and everyone that i thought would always be there for me seems so tempermental. with one exception. i just feel so lost. i've really come to hate the holidays. "i love you, i'll show it by buying you things i can't afford and then complain the whole time that i can't afford it even after you've told me that it really doesn't matter at all." but yes, presents and gain are the reason for the season right? i don't know. i can't wait for all of this to be over. all i really want are some L-socks and lemon squares...seriously. i didn't step foot out of my house today, i called people and they were all gone, as usual, and i couldn't take the car because matt cat is home and i have to work the next three days wil close and i told him he could use it today. eh, whatever. i had a really disturbing dream last night. woke up crying out loud with a tear soaked pillow. it was rather horrible. i remember it vividly because it was just so real. how nice would it have been to wake up in someones arms after that though...*sigh* big *sigh*. hmm...what else is on my mind. i want to see oliver, and i want the roads to not be stupid, i don't want to close the store the next three days in a row, i want all my christmas shopping done, i want people to realize how shallow and pig headed they really are, and i want to stop whining about all of this. oh yea, AND i want danny to realize what a jerk he really is. end of story, thank you, stick a fork in me i'm done. goodness that was stupid, i digress. and i almost forgot. happy birthday james!!! much luff. and yea, done again. life is full of yultide sorrow. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 14 - 00
to start off...joey, if you're reading this. you're worthless and please stop breathing. thanks. sorry amy, had to do that. don't get mad. hmm...yes. sick as a dog still. i got new glasses today, yay for that. and i got the living hell scared out of me by katie and a certain incident late in the day, i don't really care to explain it. whats with my foul mood today. goodness gracious. alright, no more bitterness. happiness. complacency. i really should just get off of here and work on one of my three papers that are due. however unlikey thats gonna happen. well today was the kicked in the nuts lunch. wasn't as good as it normally is. sorry guys. however, i did enjoy kevin's "i'm going to get kicked in the nuts..." story from the other night. funny fat old men at shows make me giggle. all alone i have cried, silent tears full of pride, in a flash it takes hold of my heart...doot doot doot...what a feelin..do do do do do do...hehe...sorry. flashdance for life! i'm out of here...yo. life just is. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 12 - 00
*cough* that's right. this kitty's sick. it's not fun at all. i work too much, i have to write 3 papers before next tuesday, and yes. i dunno. i've managed to develop a comewhat large crush on a boy at work. it's so dumb. hopefully my obsession with be short lived. at least he lives within 15 minutes of me. i'd never act on it though. dating people i work with wouldn't be too cool. not a dating service, it's a job. just blah. what else...hmm. yes. distance. i hope it doesn't mean a lot. i don't like distance. it's not my friend. lots of people have been looking at my page. it's beginning to freak me out. no one was really supposed to look at it and now i'm getting like 30 hits a day sometimes. that's some weird junk. if you're still reading this...why? i'm a pretty normal and borning person. nothing anyone would really want to read about. well at least not me. i produce a heck of a lot of mindless banter. i went to the dashboard show last friday, and it blew me away. almost cried. two seconds away at least. better than i imagined. so was the certain someone i got to talk to. nwe found glory is beginning to anger me though, i mean i expected the redundancy in the river city high set, and midtown...but not them. what's happening!?! *sigh* oh well. i'm off to better warmer and more naked things. yay for showers. life is lived for the duck. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 6 - 00
stepping outside my mind for a while would be a welcome change of scenery. i'm kinda sick right now. well, either that or completely miserable. how pathetic is that. everyone feel bad for me. haha. that's why i don't write in this. i'm not looking for sympathy. more of a release through writing. and this is my journal after all. what are you doing reading it. i don't seem to ever update this anymore. reason probably has something to do with the fact that i just don't have much to write about that's very positive, and who wants to read a lot of sad and mindless banter? oh well. i haven't worked since monday, i think they very well might hate me now or something. i'm only going to work three days this week or something and that just kinda sucks. love my job a whole lot. that's really all i have for me right now since everything else has been screwed to absolute hell. i've proven to myself and been shown that i'm not significant. it's a great feeling. i strongly reccommend it to anyone. but moving right along, bonnie and amy i luff you guys. you own me. and hmm...lemme think...i can't wait for the show on friday, and even more for the sleep that comes with the weekend. the time right now is 9:34 p.m. and i woke up probably ten minutes ago from my three hour "nap". i even set my alarm to make sure i woke up and tried to get something done. it's probably not going to happen. i came on here to see if someone was on they're not, so i suppose this is the time where i make my contemplation on my past couple days, get ready for this one...life is not effing worth it right now. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 12 - 1 - oo
alright, well. work is pretty effing cool. i like it a whole lot. the people are just...choice. that's a good word to use. btu hmm..whats going on besides that. nothing really. i'm tired all the time and i don't do my work anymore. that's probably not a very good thing. but this week is like show after show after show so i'm all happy and stuff. i ran into my old friend julia on 50 today. i really hope she's doing alright. she wasn't doing too hot last year when she left, and she was being really really weird and strung out. but who knows. hopefully she's fine. have i said lately that i'm tired of being lonely all the time? no? well i am. that's the end of my daily whine. time for me to go watch some lifetime or something "productive" like that. life is the storm before the calm. ::fade to black::

Stardate: 11 - 27 - 00
today really hasn't been so bad. i'm a little sleepy, but that's typical for me. go here. trust me. friend of mine sent it to me for some unknown reason and it's just creepy. check out the music they picked on raphael's page...yea...he's like 3. it's sick. just sick. i start my job tomorrow. kinda scared. i dunno how it's gonna be and how cool the people are. paranoia. "they're all gonna laugh at you!" that's all...had to make the reference to carrie. eep. i'm nappin yo. and if you happen to be someone who's name rhymes with jon this is for you (...). life if full of naps. ::fade to black::