My shadow walks beside me
My heart always lags behind
My mind wishes to be free
My good traits have resigned
I want to no more alone be
In the prison that I've defined
I need an exit from my misery
For I have too long now away pined
-September 16, 2003
Silence enslaved
The nights of frost
The hearts not saved
Are the world lost
A wounded heart
Leads a burned hand
The pain it starts
Not understands
New mont, new girl
He never stops
Chase each jeweled pearl
Till that dream pops
A need for love
A crying eye
Cycle above
All that must die
-September 15, 2003
It seems again I am enthralled
My heart leaves my reason appauled
She is rare, fine, devine, the best
Yet she is the same as the rest
I want to see her, touch her, hold
My heart was broke now it is sold
Her lips so swwet I'll never taste
I wish to act and act with haste
But I'm a coward and a fool
I am fate's pawn and hatred's tool
Alone I'll sit, and wish, and cry
In solitude's embrace I'll die
-September 16, 2003
I left my hate at home today
I put my hopes away
My envy I misplaced
Even my rage has been defaced
I can no more call on my pain
To prove to me I'm real
I no longer fell I'm insane
I just no longer feel
I have dismissed my dreams
Because they cannot be
To silence the sick screams
I made myself empty
-September 18, 2003
I crave affection like the rest
But I am not socially blessed
I try to join her in this game
She burns me with no trace of shame
The fault, ofcourse, is all my own
For in advance I should have known
That she just wants to be my friend
All of my means do reach this end
Where she, causing my misery
Tries to stay close to it all see
And thus to computers I fled
My sight broken and my heart bled
Our last world do we now lose
Normal people now the 'net use
May arms burns when I use my mouse
Thus fate my last refuge does douse
-September 28, 2003
Envy is wanting what your neighbor flouts
What you can't have that he holds plain to see
Th enious begin to act like louts
You hate him though he earned his goods fairly
You smile, laugh, and prepare a knife to draw
His fortune blinds him, he see not your plight
In rage you slit his throat and break his jaw
Though in the wrong you're certain you were right
Because you loved his goods you did him ill
His possession are now ready to steal
For the crime of outdoing you you kill
Profitting from your pain did his fate seal
Your friend had held that which you loved the most
Now in a jail cell may you your great deed boast
-October 23, 2003
My heart was cast of ice
My mind consumed by pains
My mind did my heart slice
My eyes hunt for figures
My body wants bodies
My heart begs for cures
My dreams make sluts with ease
I wish that I were pure
Until darkness sets in
I bit the shadow's lure
The siren song of din
I furnished my own hell
With shades of crushes past
Deliver my death knell
For I have my die cast
-Octover 15, 2003
If I write her a poem lovely
Would she any better like me?
Can my words really chage her heart?
Or do these wishes nothing start?
Could my words any of them sway?
Or does this writing nothing pay?
-Date unknown
And not say I'm ugly?
Don't you see my skin is dead
And my eyes are stained blood red?
My face unshaved, my hair uncut
My scrawny arms and flabby guy?
These dumb lenses correct broke eyes
When I see it the mirror cries
My spine is bent like a hunchback
My visage does all charms lack
the only way to fix my face
Is surgery, by the mace
-Date unknown
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