Sour Apples
"I wish I could laugh
But that joke isn't funny anymore
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone"
The Smiths
I thought I was a simple man but then the cold slap of introspection put luster back into my cheeks. I found while compiling this site that I'm a little opinionated bi*c#.  My punk and roll lifestyle only fosters in your face opinions about this world. On top of that I'm not supposed to fear their cutthroat expression.  So all these jumbled thoughts must breath they must take life so I can live honestly and with integrity.  I love being opinionated because it easily lends itself to contradictions.  Contradictions are the foundations of this conventional world. "The mathematician Kurt Godel has given us a rigorous proof of the fact that every logical system must contain a premise which it cannot define without contradiction itself." Alan Watts. So I made this sour apples page so I can release all my frustrations and pet peeves. Hopefully it will give the readers a little more insight on what makes me tick or really what makes me wanna smash the clock.
Silent treatment: If you want to keep Nick D as good friend in your life than this is the essential key. Keep lines of clear communication open. I understand as we all get older and go on with our lives our appointment books become our new found rulers taking place of once flourishing friendships. I can understand that people are unable to keep in touch on a regular basis. But I can name so many key people lost in my life because of their inability to communicate clearly with me, in our time of stress. To be specific I can name three right off the bat a girl A.A., a boy R.L., and another boy R.L. Sometimes people need release and just need to get away from a person. But these actions can be done with maturity. �Hey Nick this relationship is getting a little too stressful. I need some time to think but I�ll call you when I feel better and we�ll chill.� How hard is that? Those people I listed above have all been out of my life for at least two years now. At the time I found it astonishing at how people could just throw each other away.  I call it the trash mentality; life�s not easy so let�s go for the quick fix. The weight of those people�s actions still haunts me. I have spent a ton of time wondering why and it�s caused a little emotional damage. Now when waves rise in current relationships and people give me the silent treatment I�ve noticed an immense wall gets built.  I just can�t trust people who do that to me. Like I said I could understand the need for silence and mediation in a stressful situation but I need a person to communicate that with me before they up and leave me in silence because in that silence I�m left to wonder why again. Recently I have had four people do this to me, get stressed and outcast me from their life. All those people were pretty close to me. Now I can honestly say that I don�t know how long or if things will ever be the same between them. Each and everyday we wake up and go to our jobs. In that day our bosses take us for granted, our co-workers, our checker in the grocery line, our waiter in the restaurant, or even the guy that installs our cable. Our friends are one group of people who shouldn�t take us for granted.

Barry Bonds' homerun strut: O.K. it�s not enough you have the grace of playing the wonderful sport of baseball with the most elite men in the world. It�s not enough that in this level of play you are chasing records and are undoubtedly already a part of Cooperstown. It�s not enough that you can afford a life of luxury playing a game that I hope you love. All things aren�t enough fulfillments to your ego? You still feel the need to employ a condescending strut around the bases? It�s so nice to have a centered humble legend to look up to.

Jocks!: Yes this is a complete generalization but in Nick D�s case my prejudice to jocks is well deserved. I have very few close friends that are jocks, so of course this passage excludes them. Every since the fragile and insecure years of high school have I have had run in with these Neanderthals. My best friend at the time David Long liked some girl in the jock clique and I was forced to deal with many of the mishaps of having jocks on his ass therefore on our asses. At 14 a friend and I were at a Bronco training camp and a little known T.E. screamed at two little soon-to-be high schoolers �don�t even think about it� as we were going to ask for his autograph. He shouted this right in front of some hot girl he was talking to. Last month Tim and I were working out in the weight room and some steroid jock was lifting when all of a sudden he came over and started s***. This guy called us �cream puffs� and �fairies� and for no reason other than he was pumped up and wanted to intimidate two people smaller than he. I had the most absurd run in with jocks while at a party in Highlands Ranch this summer. Some girls got mad at me for not letting them into a bathroom while I was sick so they got their boyfriends on me. At first I�m sitting on this bench with my friend and one 6�0�� about 180 lbs dude walks up to me and asks if I�m talking �s***.� I�m drunk and have no idea what he was talking about so I say yeah. (I figured if he beat me up it would�nt hurt too bad because I was pretty lit.) Then like six other dudes all around his size walk out with him�they all ask if I was talking �s***� and now I politely say, �No way man�Me?� I won�t disclose how I escaped the situation but let�s just say that those guys are f***ing stupid. I hate people who abuse power. I know if I were a big man I would never ever waste my time picking on people smaller than me. Jocks can�t hide behind the cloud that they �take care of their bodies.� In all actuality taking care of your body is a very spiritual thing but these brutes don�t take care of themselves. They hurt their bodies by taking creatine and over consuming protein. God only knows what is in their supplements that short cut the growth of muscles but leave tendons weak and more susceptible to injury. All these chemicals are unnatural and unhealthy shortcuts that are bad for the body and in my opinion not a very safe way of getting bigger. Constantly putting unneeded pressure on the body is not very spiritual to me. In never ceases to amaze me how a man can slap on ten more pound, gain a deeming cocky attitude and time and time again girls will rearward them with sex. That�s a double standard if I have ever heard of one. Well to sum up everything I�ve said�"F*** jocks F***�em.�
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