By Rudy

"Well, well; look at this!"

Iolaus frowned in annoyance as the jeering voice behind him pulled him out of his reverie. He stared out at the ocean, trying to close his ears to the racket.

"Hey, you�d better be careful with that blade you�re wearing, pretty one. You might cut yourself," this time the voice was applauded by rough laughter from several others.

Iolaus sighed and reflected that he really should stand up and help whoever was being picked on. Yeah, a fight sounded like it would be fun, right about now. It�d sure beat staring into space.

"Ooh, what�s the matter? Did I make you mad? Oh, stop; you�re scaring me!"

The bully�s laughter was bitten off abruptly. Before Iolaus could turn, a body came whizzing past him, crashing into the sand almost at his feet. Iolaus looked around, and promptly dissolved in the first true laughing fit he had enjoyed in months when he spotted the man whom the hapless ruffian had been taunting.

"This is gonna be good," he said to the dazed man in the sand, "Watch this."

They both watched, as the four men who�d been cheering their buddy on closed in on their prey.

"They�ll tear that pretty boy apart," the bully muttered through split lips.

"I don�t think so. But, you are right about one thing; he is pretty. Kinda makes you want to break his nose, doesn�t it?" Iolaus turned back to enjoy the show.

Barely ten feet away, a lone figure faced the little group of toughs. His hair was a blazing mass of red-gold curls which were pulled back in a careless knot, the longest of the disorderly ringlets just brushing his slender waist. He was tall, and his muscular physique was framed by well-worn black leather pants and a loosely-laced vest. A great deal of creamy skin was visible through the lacing, and a sheathed hunting blade was thrust through the belt which slung low on his slim hips. His cool, perfect face was calm as he studied his opponents.

One of the jeering men lumbered forward, swinging a meaty fist. He found himself becoming better acquainted with the ground in the space of a heartbeat, and one of his cronies landed atop him, unconscious, before he even had a chance to draw a breath. The redhead ducked a sword blow and planted his foot in the attacker�s stomach, sending him sprawling backward, winded, to land in the middle of the street. The remaining bully lowered his head with a growl, and launched himself directly at his intended victim, who grabbed him and coiled around him as they tumbled in a twin somersault. He landed on top, straddling his attacker�s stomach. One good punch to the bully�s throat, and the man in black leapt lightly to his feet. None of his erstwhile assailants appeared interested in pressing the point further, so he stepped away from them.

Iolaus surprised himself by laughing again, as the victor grinned in his direction. He dusted himself off elaborately, then ran over and gathered Iolaus into a rib-cracking hug.

"Iolaus! Thanks for teaching me that move; it really comes in handy, sometimes."

"Well, Diomedes, if you�d put some clothes on, or at least let someone get a few good cuts in on that ridiculous face of yours, you wouldn�t need to use it so often," Iolaus smiled into his friend�s brown eyes, feeling something dangerously close to happiness warm his heart for a moment.

"Hey, I give them lots of chances. No one can bring themselves to destroy a work of art like me, though," Diomedes pretended to preen, "Anyway, you�re a fine one to talk about clothing! Tell me, do you even *own* a shirt?" Diomedes looked down at the man in the sand, speculatively.

"Hey, you! Yes, you," as the former ringleader of the ruffians pointed toward his own chest, "How come you didn�t try to beat Iolaus here up? Scared of blondes?"

Iolaus planted his fist lightly in his friend�s stomach.

"Come on, Diomedes. Let�s get an ale. If you�re going to get me into a fight, as usual, at least let me have one last drink."

"I *am* a bit dry. Must have been the walk," Diomedes smiled winningly at the groaning men who were picking themselves up slowly, and followed Iolaus� lead to the nearest inn.

The happiness had faded from Iolaus� face by the time they ordered ale.

"Well, my friend, I know you too well to imagine that this is a happy coincidence. Been having visions again?" Iolaus� voice was dry, and his eyes were curiously blank under his friend�s penetrating gaze.

"Of your death," Diomedes said, bluntly.

"I see you still have a tendency to dance around the truth," Iolaus downed half of his ale in one draught, "But, no need to worry about me. I�ve got everything under control."

"And �everything� would be ...?"

Iolaus stared at him for a few moments, then finished his ale.

"I betrayed Hercules. Then I died. It�s just took a little while to sink in, that�s all."

Diomedes studied him with growing alarm; nothing showed in Iolaus� normally expressive eyes. Even his voice revealed nothing.

"Iolaus. Please, tell me what happened."

"Travel with me for a while, Diomedes. I�m practicing. Maybe, one day, once I�ve got it down, I�ll tell you all about it."

"Practicing what?"

Iolaus grabbed a pitcher from a passing barmaid and refilled their mugs. He handed the pitcher to her wordlessly, and turned back to Diomedes.

"I�ll tell you that, too, maybe. Or, maybe the answer will come to you in a dream."

"Iolaus!"

Hercules grinned with anticipation as he entered the forge, but, the smile faded as he looked around the cold, dusty room.

"Iolaus?" He called again, pushing past the curtain into the little living area beyond.

Another empty, dusty room. Hercules ran a finger across the table, and frowned down at the burden of dust it had gathered. Iolaus must have been gone for weeks; he�d probably left when Hercules had undertaken his journey to Ithaca. But, where had he gone?

Hercules plopped down on the bed dejectedly, sneezing as a cloud of dust rose around him. He�d really been looking forward to seeing his friend; they�d been apart far too much during the last months. One battle after another, when they�d been together, but too busy guarding each other�s backs to enjoy one another�s company. Then ... Xena. They�d parted ways almost immediately after leaving her stronghold. Then had come the battles against Darphis, and Xena�s change of heart. And then ...

"You fell in love with her. And he watched it happen."

Hercules brow knotted as he remembered the expression on Iolaus� face when he�d returned to camp and found Hercules and Xena together. He�d only just gotten past his anger and mistrust, only just begun accepting the possibility that Xena might have truly become an ally rather than an enemy. Then, they�d added another stone to the load he was carrying, by becoming lovers. Hercules looked down at the bed he was sitting on, and jumped to his feet as though he�d been bitten.

Gods, it had been on this very bed that Xena had seduced Iolaus. A small, ugly voice whispered in the back of Hercules� mind, but he pushed it away, refusing to hear. His foot kicked something out from under the bed as he headed for the door, and he bent automatically to retrieve it.

A glittering arm bracelet. Xena�s?

With his hand closed around the bracelet as though it were a talisman, Hercules headed for the inn across the lane.

"Iolaus? Yeah, he left, oh, must be close to a month ago. No, he didn�t say where he was headed. No, no message for you. Actually, I just assumed that he was heading out to meet up with you somewhere, Hercules."

"Hercules?"

The innkeeper grinned sympathetically at the rather pained look which washed across Hercules� features as a harried-looking stranger grasped the demigod�s-god�s arm urgently.

"Yes. And you are ...?"

"My name is Helphis. Please, you�ve got to come, to help us."

"Help who?"

The tale which Helphis related was all too familiar to Hercules, and he cursed the timing which had brought the complaint to his door at this particular moment. The man�s village, and the neighboring villages, were being harassed and looted by a band of thieving mercenaries.

"Just when we think they�ve gone for good, they come back. Soon, we�ll have nothing left for them to steal; we�ll starve to death!" Helphis� eyes were red-rimmed and weary in his haggard face. His patched clothing and wasted form attested to the truth of his story.

Hercules reflected for a moment. As worried as he was about Iolaus, he really couldn�t refuse Helphis. After all, he had no idea where to start looking for his missing friend. There was one favorite fishing spot he could check (although, he reminded himself, even Iolaus wouldn�t spend an entire month fishing), but, it was on the way to the village. He�d go by his mother�s, and have her keep a watch for Iolaus, and send word on to Ithaca, as well. Someone had to have seen him. He sighed and turned to the anxious villager.

"Fine, Helphis. I�ll head out now. You follow after you�ve had some time to rest," He turned to the innkeeper, "If Iolaus returns, tell him I�ve gone to Raslin, and that I could really use his help. If you get any word of him, send someone on to me; it�s very important that I reach him."

He was out of the door before the man could even stammer out his thanks. Helphis turned bemusedly to the innkeeper.

"Does he always make his mind up so quickly?"

Xena took a deep breath of the sweet, fresh air, and caught herself actually *giggling*?

"I do *not* giggle!" Her stern words to herself were belied almost at once by another silly little laugh. Gods. This was embarrassing.

But, it was such a beautiful day. The sky was such a deep blue, with fleecy clouds scudding in from the direction of the sea. The trees arched over the road ahead, dappling the hard brown surface with molten patterns of lacy sunlight. And, she was in love.

She tried to bring some sternness into her features. After all, she was headed for trouble, trying to stop these cowardly mercenaries who were warring on innocent townsfolk. She certainly couldn�t show up with a dandelion in her hand a silly grin on her face. Could she?

The smile disappeared immediately as she heard movement on the road behind her, and she wheeled her horse sharply. When she saw who was approaching, she growled to herself. Great. This could lead to more giggling.

She slipped off of her mount with practiced grace and stepped forward.

"Hello."

Hercules smiled all over his face. All over his beautiful, wonderful face. Xena shook herself mentally. �Get a grip, woman.�

"Xena. How have you been?"

"Quite well. And, yourself?"

"Oh, can�t complain."

The act ended abruptly; they were in each other�s arms in a heartbeat, their lips meeting in a deep, heart-shaking kiss. When they found time to breathe again, they stood back a little and regarded one another happily.

"Well, I certainly didn�t expect to run across you so soon," Xena teased.

"I didn�t expect it, either. Let me guess; you�re on the way to Raslin."

"You, too?"

"I�m afraid so. Would you like some help?"

"Help? Since when ..." the fire faded from her eyes as she saw the laughter in Hercules� gaze, "Well, I guess you could tag along. Maybe you�ll pick up a few new moves."

"What kind of moves? Ow!" He rubbed his arm ruefully; she had a good punch.

They headed down the road companionably, enjoying the day and one another�s company. Hercules fell into a distracted silence after a while. Xena waited, but he didn�t come out of it.

"Hello? Hercules? Is something bothering you?"

"No, I�m fine," He grinned at her disbelieving expression, "OK, I�m a bit worried. Oh, that reminds me."

He fished in his shirt, and handed the bracelet to Xena.

"Oh, you had it!" She slipped it over one strong arm.

"No. I found it under ... Iolaus had it. It was in his room."

Xena�s face darkened.

"Iolaus. So, it�s Iolaus that you�re worried about?"

"Yes. He�s been gone for weeks; I was in Ithaca. When I got back, I found out that he�d left without leaving word as to where he was headed. That�s not like Iolaus. He always lets someone know where he�ll be, in case I need him," Hercules� frown deepened for a moment, then he smiled with a bit of an effort, "There�s a village just around the bend; let�s get something to eat."

Xena held her peace, as they found a tavern and ordered their food. She waited until Hercules had finished eating and had settled back, full and contented, then fixed her gaze on him, ready to get at whatever was troubling him. Just as she as about to speak, though, a loud voice from a group at the bar interrupted her.

"And, then, I had that pretty redhead clean my boots for me," The boasting man burst into loud laughter, joined by his cronies. He sported a faded black eye, and a self-congratulatory grin.

"If that�s so, how did you get the shiner?" A skeptical voice asked.

The man looked a bit uncomfortable for a moment, but recovered quickly.

"One lucky punch doesn�t make a fighter. As he found out!" Another loud laugh.

"And, all of the hot air in the world doesn�t make the truth," A new voice rang out; A strongly-built, formidable-looking man, who�d been sitting quietly by himself, stood and walked over to face the first speaker.

"I was there, friend. You should pay more attention to the faces you encounter during your travels, if you want to lie about your exploits further down the road."

The boaster flinched as several of the tavern patrons laughed appreciatively.

"Oh, so you were there, eh? And, why should any of us believe you?"

"No more reason to believe me than to believe you. Except, that I�m telling the truth. That �pretty redhead� put you and all four of your buddies, here, in the dust without even breaking a sweat. Then, he marched off with his little blonde friend and drank a great deal of ale. End of story."

Hercules had stiffened at the first mention of the redhead. At the reference to a �little blonde�, he rose from his seat and headed over to the speaker. Just before he reached him, the boasting man aimed a clumsy punch at his accuser, who calmly blocked the blow and landed one of his own in his attacker�s well-upholstered midsection. Down he went.

Hercules stepped over him politely, and stood beside the other man as the bully�s friends gathered him up and hauled him over to a table. He turned to the speaker and smiled.

"Excuse me, but, can you describe the two men you were talking about? I think they�re friends of mine, and I�ve been trying to find them."

The man looked Hercules over carefully, and did a double-take as Xena stepped up beside the demigod-god.

"Describe them? Well, the redhead was tall - about your height," he nodded at Xena with an appreciative smile, "Fair-skinned. His hair was curly, long. He wore black leather. The other man was small, muscular, blonde. Wore a ragged vest and leather pants. Carried a sword. Dangerous looking fellow. They about drank the inn dry of ale, then headed out of Merie.

"Thanks, friend. Did you see which way they were heading?"

"East. Are they your friends?"

"Yes, it sounds like it. I�m grateful for the news; thanks again."

Hercules headed back to the table, Xena close behind. He settled down and stared at the table top, with a puzzled frown.

"Iolaus? �Dangerous looking�? This could explain a lot, though; if Diomedes showed up, wanting company, Iolaus would certainly have gone with him. That doesn�t necessarily put my mind at rest, though. I�m ... not sure about Diomedes. The thing is; I can�t imagine why the innkeeper at home didn�t mention him. He�s ... well, he�s not the easiest person to overlook," Hercules grinned.

"Well, who exactly is he?" Xena was growing frustrated.

"Actually, I�m not sure I can answer that. Diomedes is hard to get close to, and harder to trust. But, Iolaus, of course, trusts him completely." Hercules cleared his throat uncomfortably, and they both dropped their eyes for a moment.

"So, what is it about him that�s untrustworthy?"

"We met him when he was part of King Thanos� army. He was a seer, and a healer. But, he�d foreseen that his brother was to die in battle, so he trained in arms, and proved to be a formidable warrior. He joined his brother under Thanos, and fought at his back, trying to forestall his fate. His brother was killed, anyway; he died in Diomedes� arms. Diomedes went mad in his grief; he became a demon. No one was safe near him; friend or foe. He was a terrifying sight, in battle, and a great asset, as long as his own men knew to stay away from him. Between battles, though, he held himself apart from the other men, barely eating, rarely sleeping, never speaking. He only came to life to fight. No one could stand against him." Hercules fell silent, remembering.

"And Iolaus befriended him, right?" Xena�s voice was neutral.

"Of course. I felt sorry for Diomedes, but kept my distance, like everyone else. Iolaus kept hounding him, talking to him, fighting by him, walking next to him; never giving him a moment�s peace. Then, one day, Diomedes exploded at him. He screamed, he shouted, he raged. Then, he hit Iolaus. Knocked him right to the ground, split his lip open."

"And, you kicked his ass?"

Hercules smiled at her.

"Well, I thought about it. But, I knew that there must be a reason for what Iolaus had been doing, so I just watched and waited. Sure enough, Diomedes sat down in the dirt next to Iolaus and started weeping. I cleared the spectators away; when the last of us left, he was still sitting there. Not making a sound, just weeping. When they rejoined us, later, it seemed that his madness had passed. From that moment on, if Iolaus had asked for a hand, Diomedes would have cut off his own and given it to him. He stayed with the army for a few more battles, for as long as Iolaus and I remained. He was still a daunting warrior, but, no longer a danger to his allies. When we left, he left the army. He just disappeared into the forest. He didn�t even tell Iolaus where he was going, just that he would be there if Iolaus needed him."

"He sounds like a good man. Why don�t you trust him?"

"He�s too volatile, Xena. What if he cracks again? He might even hurt Iolaus. Or, if something happened to Iolaus; would Diomedes go mad? Who would be there to stop him, this time? He never let anyone else get close, no one. Only Iolaus. I can�t imagine what he would be like if Iolaus were harmed."

Xena sighed and looked thoughtfully into her mug of ale.

"I think you�re borrowing trouble, Hercules. Iolaus can take care of himself. Obviously, so can Diomedes. Why are you still so worried?"

Hercules caught and held her eyes.

"Because we�ve some unfinished business between us, Iolaus and I. We�ve never discussed ... what happened. On the trip home, after we parted from you at Darphis� fort, he grew steadily quieter. He had a lot to sort out. We both did. I�m not sure now that silence was the best way to handle it. I�m concerned about his state of mind."

"But, he told me he didn�t hate me any longer."

"Come on, Xena. We both want to believe that Iolaus can just accept anything, but, he�s a passionate man, and the wound you dealt him was a deep one. Then, just as he was getting past it, we fell in love. That hurt him; you saw his face when he found us."

"We should feel guilty now, for loving one another?" Xena�s voice was cold, and she set her chin stubbornly.

"No. That�s not what I�m saying. But, we have to be honest with ourselves about this. Iolaus is my best friend. What he feels matters. As much as I�d like to, I can�t just go off chasing butterflies and ignore the fact that what has happened between us affects him, too."

The silence stretched between them, then, Xena placed her palm against Hercules�, measuring.

"You�re right. We will find him."

She smiled at Hercules, and he returned the smile, but, a shadow lingered in his eyes.

"There�s something more, isn�t there?"

He started a bit, then shook his head.

"No, nothing." But, the shadow remained.

They�d been traveling for nearly two weeks, now, at a furious pace, barely pausing at each new village. And, here they were, sitting silently beside yet another fire. Diomedes reached within himself for his gift of sight, and found nothing. He was too close; all he could see was Iolaus. Or, what was left of Iolaus.

He sighed. He would have the dream again tonight; he could feel it.

He looked up to find Iolaus staring at him strangely. Tears burned his eyes as he realized just what was strange about the look; there was actually a spark of feeling in that blue gaze. Something ... what? The slight flash of humanity disappeared before he could even put a name to it. Too tired to try any longer, Diomedes let the tears fall, slipping down his cheeks. Iolaus rose slowly and came to settle beside him, his empty eyes never leaving Diomedes� face.

Unexpectedly, Iolaus pulled him close, unbinding Diomedes� fiery curls and burying his face in them. He kissed the tears from his cheeks, then captured his friend�s mouth with his own, sharing the salty taste. That kiss brought another, and another still, awakening memories which shook Diomedes to his core. Then Iolaus began, with maddening slowness, to pull the worn leather clothing from the seer�s trembling body. He explored each new bit of snowy flesh thus revealed with teasing caresses and skillful kisses, while Diomedes struggled with Iolaus� clothing, pulling the vest aside to taste the muscular throat and suckle at Iolaus� dark nipples. He managed to pull the hunter�s leather pants aside, and ran his fingernails slowly up the tender, muscular inner thighs, as Iolaus toed his boots off and freed himself of the pants completely.

Iolaus moaned as strong fingers threaded their way into the golden thatch of hair surrounding his aching erection, his only thought to bury himself in the fire and cream that was Diomedes, to lose himself utterly, for a few, precious hours. He curled his agile way around Diomedes� body, straddling his slim hips and sinking his teeth carefully into the hot, white throat. Ah, his redheaded lover still writhed delightfully when Iolaus did that. What else remained the same? Iolaus slithered slowly down, leaving a searing trail of tiny bites from the throat to the flat plane of Diomedes� belly, then grasped his swollen shaft firmly, flicking his tongue quickly across the tender head with maddening repetitiveness. Diomedes� hips rode up convulsively, and Iolaus laughed huskily.

"You are mine," he whispered, and proceeded to lay claim to his shuddering property.

When the glorious ride was over, and Iolaus slept, Diomedes lay staring at the sky, his fingers caressing the blonde head pillowed heavily on his shoulder. He wondered, distantly, whether he would become like Iolaus soon. A shade, walking among the living. The burden of pain weighing on his heart was nearly unbearable. Worse, now, after what had just passed between them.

Even Iolaus� lovemaking had changed. Yes, his delicate, searing skill was still present, the incredible feast which his beautiful body provided, his clever hands and nimble tongue. The perfect, tireless rhythm of his thrusting hips. The practiced sensuality which had so enthralled Diomedes in the past remained. The timbre of his voice, as he cried out with pleasure, was as clear as it had ever been. But, the tumbling, bouncing, wild joy that had once been part and parcel of Iolaus the lover was gone. A controlled savagery had taken it�s place, mind-numbingly pleasurable, certainly, but, so very different. Diomedes� lips were still swollen from Iolaus� kisses, he knew that he�d carry the marks of Iolaus� carefully calculated bites on his throat for days, yet, he now knew beyond question that his sweet, blonde hunter was dead. Lost to all who had loved him.

Diomedes bit back a new rush of tears. Tears for the graveside. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of Iolaus� skin and willing himself to dream. Willing the sight to come, and an answer with it. Finally, sleep did come. With the dawn, came the dream. The same dream.

He was standing in a rocky glade, watching Hercules as he nestled against a beautiful, raven-haired woman. The softness of their eyes, the languor of their limbs, announced that they�d just made highly satisfactory love. There was a movement across the glade; Iolaus appeared, rounding a tree. His eyes were on Hercules and the woman, and the dream fired his emotions directly into Diomedes� reeling heart. Pain, anger, humiliation, guilt. A blazing memory of sweet touches and searing kisses. Betrayal. His own. The woman�s. And now ... �I *don�t* roll around in bed with her!�. Iolaus was nodding his head to himself as he walked forward. Deliberately, he slammed his sword into it�s scabbard; the lovers looked up and jumped apart, guiltily. Hercules rose from his seat against the woman�s bare legs, to sit beside her as he greeted the newcomer.

"Hello, Iolaus."

"Did I get back too soon?"

The words, uttered in a voice so hard that Diomedes could barely recognize it as belonging to Iolaus, pulled him out of his friend�s thoughts.

The lovers didn�t respond verbally, but, Hercules glanced at the woman (Xena, Diomedes� gift whispered). She kept her gaze fixed defiantly on Iolaus� face.

"I mean, I didn�t think I�d get back so soon." Iolaus dropped his eyes and squatted by the fire, laughing shortly in that strange, brittle voice.

The scene faded, and Diomedes found himself standing by the sea, looking into the water. Underneath the waves, as though encased in ice, lay Iolaus, his face grey and still, a gaping wound clearly exposing his torn heart.

He awoke with a start, on his feet even before his eyes opened. The same dream. The same images. He looked around for Iolaus, and spotted him swimming in the lake. Diomedes walked slowly down to join him. He knew the dream for a portent. But, a portent of a future calamity, or of what had already come to pass? And what, exactly, *had* come to pass? Who was Xena? He shook the thoughts from his head and slipped into the cold water. Another day of travel ahead.

But, before they set out, Iolaus finally spoke to him. He sat, a silver-gilt figure in the misty morning, and told his tale, giving new form to Diomedes� dreams. His face revealed nothing as he told Diomedes that he�d fallen in love with a strong, beautiful woman. That, he�d believed her when she told him Hercules had attacked her. For her sake, he�d turned on his best friend, to the extent of engaging him in a battle to the death. Then, the truth had been revealed; she�d been using him to lure Hercules into the clutches of her warriors. She�d enraged Iolaus in the hope that he would fight Hercules and die at his hands, leaving the son of Zeus an easy target for destruction, as the weight of his guilt struck him full force.

Letting his dead eyes rest on Diomedes� unbelieving face, Iolaus explained, quietly, that Xena had changed. She�d seen the pain that her rage had caused, the destruction she�d wrought in the madness of her own suffering, and now she was trying to put herself to mending. She was traveling the land, trying to help those in need, in an effort to wipe the stain of her past deeds from her soul. Hercules admired and respected her for her strength in turning herself around; his admiration had become love, and, with love had come desire. Hercules and Xena were lovers.

Diomedes felt fiery fingers of fury wrapping themselves around his heart as Iolaus turned his tousled golden head to stare out at the lake and said, in that soft, toneless voice:

"Xena finally found a warrior who was worthy of her love."

Diomedes closed his eyes, wishing that he could plunge a dagger into Hercules� faithless heart and bleed the treason out of him. Since he�d first met Iolaus, he�d been envious of the close friendship between the blonde hunter and his semi-divine companion; it didn�t take a seer to recognize the depth of that friendship. But, he�d always comforted himself with the reflection that, at least Hercules was worthy of the incalculable gift of Iolaus� devotion. And, now he�d thrown that away to bed the woman who had ...

"I don�t care if she cut out her own eyes and handed them to the first blind man she came across! How could Hercules take her into his bed? She used and betrayed you! She tried to kill both of you! How could he touch her, knowing how that would make you feel?" Diomedes� voice shook with anger.

"It was my fault. I was weak, Diomedes. All Xena did was to exploit my weakness. I was lonely; she became a lover. I was insecure; she fed my vanity. And, I am blind when I�m angry; so, she maddened me. She needed an edge against Hercules; I was there, gullible, ready. She�s a strong woman, a brave warrior. Hercules loves her. She could never be swayed by a pretty face into betraying him. He would never be weak enough to become someone else�s tool. They belong together."

Diomedes� own blinding fury wouldn�t allow him to take that particular topic any further, so he sought for one more answer while Iolaus was still willing to talk.

"And, your �practice�. What did you mean by that?"

Iolaus sighed.

"I have to hold myself just right. Or, the feelings stir around. It�s like ... it�s like carrying a bucket that�s full of water; if you move too fast, it spills over. Well, if I�m not careful, these ugly feelings wash up, and I get lost in them. But, it was my feelings that were my weakness, don�t you see? I can�t allow them anymore. Not even good ones, because that just opens the door to the rest. But, everybody expects me to act like Iolaus, you know, the guy who�s so full of himself that he�s just gushing all over the place. So, I�m practicing. The hardest part is acting like I�m feeling something when I�m not. Well, I�ll figure it out."

"Iolaus," Diomedes rose, to crouch at his friend�s side, placing an urgent hand on his arm, "I have traveled this path, myself. It was your bright, loving hand which brought me back from the brink. I never thought to see you taking the same journey. You cannot suppress yourself; your feelings will find a way into the light. We both know this. If you hadn�t reached out to me, I would be dead by now, and, how many others would I have taken with me? Perhaps even you, beloved."

Iolaus raised his eyes, and his pain showed there, as bright as a blue flame.

"I wish you had killed me," Diomedes flinched, and Iolaus shook his head, "Listen to me; it has to be this way, Diomedes. I can�t think of anything else to do."

"Tell Hercules how you feel. Tell Xena. Cry. Rage. It�s not weak to admit to your feelings, Iolaus."

"I can�t. They ... they already know more about me than I can bear. Leave it, my friend."

Then, Iolaus� voice ran down, and his face stilled once more into the empty mask he�d been wearing throughout their travels. The conversation was over. Iolaus gently slipped away from Diomedes� hand, and stretched, standing and looking toward the road. Diomedes wondered, blazing with fury, whether all of Iolaus� rage and pain had come, through his dreams, to rest in Diomedes� own heart. If that were true, could Iolaus teach him to suppress it, then how to act like Diomedes again?

A thought came to him. He knew, without asking Iolaus, without consulting the stars, that he was the first lover Iolaus had taken since he�d left Xena�s bed. More practice?

A choked laugh escaped him, and Iolaus turned to him, shouldering his sword.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just wrestling with a ghost."

Iolaus didn�t pursue the matter; he really didn�t care any longer.

Diomedes smiled to himself grimly.

�Must make the bucket slosh, to care.�

He followed Iolaus� small, sturdy figure down the road.

Hercules and Xena heard the sounds of battle before they reached Raslin. They exchanged glances, and Xena mounted her horse, wheeling and heading off toward the village. Hercules leapt forward with immortal speed, curving around to approach the village from a different angle.

Xena rounded a bend in the road. To the right of the village lay a green meadow, bordered by trees. There, she found two warriors fighting against a score of men. One she recognized immediately. Iolaus. He fought furiously, throwing himself at his foes heedlessly, but, with a constant, quick grace. He was like a golden bolt of lightning; striking and disappearing, before his enemies could react. The other man was a stranger to her, but, the fiery hair flying about him proclaimed his identity; the mysterious Diomedes. He battled fiercely, armed only with a hunting blade. As she sped forward, he easily disarmed one of his opponents and skewered him with his own sword. Blood stained his beautiful, gleeful face as he swung to face another man, and his eyes flashed as he checked Iolaus� position. He looked like a god playing at war; the mere sight of him was enough to cause some of the mercenaries to hesitate.

Wailing her blood-freezing war cry, Xena flung herself into the fray, throwing herself from horseback to take out the first man she came across. As she brought him down and moved to the next, she heard a terrified yelp from her left and grinned; Hercules must have arrived. Her hypothesis was proven as a body flew past her to impact with a tree several man�s lengths beyond. Subtle, no; effective, certainly.

In only a few short minutes, the remaining mercenaries fled into the surrounding woods, pulling injured comrades with them. Xena whirled to see Hercules straighten and relax as he realized that the fight was over. Diomedes turned toward her, and she felt an almost physical shock as his dark eyes met hers. Something about his gaze was painfully intimate, pulling at her. His perfect, savage face became stony, although she couldn�t actually say that his expression had changed at all.

Iolaus walked past him, lifting a hand to touch his shoulder lightly as he did so. Diomedes glanced down at him, and Xena felt a shameful moment of relief as she was freed from that basilisk stare.

"Iolaus! I didn�t expect to find you here!" Hercules practically ran forward, extending his arm toward Iolaus. His smiling face clouded as Iolaus hesitated visibly before taking his forearm in a quick clasp.

"Hercules. We were just ... passing through. We heard that these guys were causing some trouble, and ..."

Diomedes glided forward, and stood just behind and to the left of Iolaus.

"Diomedes," Hercules extended his arm once again, "I hope none of that blood is yours."

Diomedes stepped out from behind Iolaus to take Hercules� arm firmly.

"Hercules. Blood?"

Iolaus looked up at him, then reached out to swipe one finger across his gory face. He held the crimson tip up for Diomedes� inspection.

"Yeah. Blood."

"Oh. I see. I�m not sure," He sent a glowing smile down at Iolaus, "Maybe someone finally got a good cut in. You think?"

Iolaus laughed shortly, then tilted his gaze to Xena.

"Xena. How have you been?"

What exactly was it that was so changed about Iolaus? Xena struggled with the question as she answered him mechanically.

"I�ve been well."

Hercules cleared his throat.

"Uh, Diomedes, this is Xena. Xena, Diomedes, Iolaus� friend."

Diomedes eyes were shuttered as he nodded at Xena.

"Your reputation precedes you, warrior." He did not offer his arm.

"I�ve got to clean up a bit. See you at the inn, later?" Iolaus� voice was toneless and he met Hercules� eyes expressionlessly.

"Yeah, the inn."

Iolaus turned and headed off into the village. Diomedes followed, after a brief parting glance at the two remaining warriors.

Xena looked up into Hercules face; his eyes were stricken, as he watched Iolaus walk away.

Xena sighed with relief as they entered the inn. She was in desperate need of a good meal and a good rest.

Her eye was immediately caught by Diomedes, who was sitting alone at a table in the back. She studied him carefully; his posture was relaxed, but he kept his back to the wall and his hand near the knife at his belt. Warrior�s habits. His eyes were calm, not fixing on any particular person, quietly roaming over the other denizens of the inn. They met hers, and she braced herself. So much fury, packed into such a cold, concentrated glance.

Hercules followed her gaze, then threaded his way through the tables to Diomedes side, taking a seat across from him.

"Diomedes. What were the two of you thinking, fighting against such odds? You could have both been killed."

"Could we?" Diomedes showed little interest.

"I thought Iolaus was your friend. Don�t you care what happens to him?" Hercules� voice was rough with anger.

Diomedes regarded Hercules calmly.

"He is the only person living whom I love. Yes, I care. The question should be; don�t you care? Or perhaps, didn�t you? After all, these days, Iolaus is conspicuous mainly by his absence."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I say. Iolaus is gone, though he left his form behind. I imagine that you know rather more about that, than I."

"Diomedes, why are you speaking in riddles?" Frustration traced a crease between Hercules� concerned blue eyes.

Diomedes� face lit with a wicked smile, and he laughed softly, his eyes dancing coldly.

"Ah, Hercules. Where is your vaunted patience? My words were clear enough. Try these: Iolaus� heart is broken. He seems to feel that if he travels far enough, quickly enough, fights recklessly enough, he�ll be able to outrun his loss. That he�ll leave it behind him, like a rock in the road. So far, he doesn�t appear to have met with much success."

Hercules� clear, blue eyes did not waver.

"I guess you�ve talked about what happened, then."

The other man laughed again, a sound like ice cracking.

"Iolaus doesn�t talk much anymore. He fights. He drinks. He even eats occasionally. Yesterday, though, he did talk to me. He told me, among other things, that he�d betrayed you, Hercules. And, that he had needed to get away for a while, to practice."

"Practice what?" Xena broke in, impatiently.

"I asked him exactly the same question. He told me that he needed to practice acting like Iolaus. Just between us, he�s not making much progress. I haven�t had the heart to tell him, though," Diomedes flashed a brilliant smile at Xena, and toasted her with his ale, downing a mighty draught, "I know; maybe you could do it. It�ll hurt him, but, that shouldn�t bother you."

Both Hercules and Xena stiffened, but, Diomedes continued as though he hadn�t noticed.

"Tell him that, if he wants to act like Iolaus, he�s got to smile more readily, and he has to pretend that it doesn�t hurt when he does. He�s got to crack frequent jokes, sing lustily while he walks, tell outrageous stories. He�s got to begin at least a *few* sentences with �You should have been there when Hercules and I...�. He�s got to flirt shamelessly with every woman he meets. But, most of all, tell him that he has to do something about his eyes."

He took another swallow of ale, and gestured at the barmaid as she walked by. He was silent while she refilled his mug, smiling calmly at Hercules and Xena as he resumed speaking.

"Have you noticed how easy it�s always been to read Iolaus� eyes? What am I saying; of course you must have noticed, Xena. Well, apparently that�s one of the lessons he�s learned about himself in the last few months. He�s learned it rather too well. His eyes are empty, now, didn�t you see? Very carefully empty. They no longer reflect the light; they absorb it. Sometimes, though, if I turn very quickly and catch his gaze, or, if he�s had that one ale too many, something will show there, for a brief second. Shame. Pain. Just for a second. Tell him he�s really got to work on that." His voice broke suddenly, and he took a long, uneven breath, turning his head to stare into the fire.

"Are you finished?" Hercules� voice was as cold as Diomedes� laughter had been.

Diomedes turned back to meet Hercules� angry eyes, seeming almost surprised to see him, as if he�d forgotten that he wasn�t alone at the little table.

"Do you really think that, by hurting Xena, you can help Iolaus? She�s a different person, now. She has suffered enough."

Xena stopped Hercules with a gesture.

"You don�t need to speak for me. Diomedes has every right to hate me; it�s an emotion I�m very familiar with. Diomedes, I ... I deeply regret what I�ve done to Iolaus. If I could go back, and change it, I would. But, I can�t. I have to live with the consequences of my actions. Iolaus ... I don�t think Iolaus hates me, anymore."

"No. He doesn�t hate you. In fact, he�s doing his best not to feel anything at all. But, I�m not Iolaus. And, I�m not Hercules, either; I have no aspirations toward nobility. Or interest in your charms. You�ve managed to destroy my only friend. I despise you. I begrudge you the very air that you breathe. What you did out of pain, would have been enough to earn my enmity. What you did out of lust, was beyond thoughtlessness. It was cruelty. Hercules is a beautiful man, but, he�s not the only beautiful man. You had to take him as your lover? Why didn�t you spit in Iolaus� face, while you were about it? I�ll forgive you on the day that Iolaus returns to life. Until then, you�d best guard yourself, warrior."

Xena steadied herself with an effort.

"And, you, *warrior*; you guard yourself, as well. It might hurt Iolaus if I killed you, but, �that shouldn�t bother me� right?"

Their eyes clashed for a moment, as sharp as drawn swords.

"And, me?" Hercules� voice was soft, but his eyes were not.

"And you? Don�t you have some reasonable explanation to offer, son of Zeus? You wanted her at any cost? Iolaus earned his pain with his betrayal? Ah," Diomedes smiled grimly as Hercules dropped his eyes, "Close to the truth? Haven�t you ever heard of wanting something, without having it? It�s possible, believe me."

Hercules speared Diomedes with cold, blue eyes.

"Oh? And, what have you wanted, lately, that you haven�t tasted?"

"Are you jealous, Hercules? Don�t be. He lets me enjoy his body. His heart, while he had one, was always yours. And, I�ve always wanted the whole package. All of Iolaus. What you could have taken, with one smile, but scorned. What you chose to shatter, by bedding the woman who broke him. Does her touch thrill you as his might have done? I have admired you, Hercules, and envied you. I don�t know how to feel about you, now. But, my feelings are secondary. What are you going to do about Iolaus? I can�t reach him. But you ..."

Then, something changed in Diomedes� face, and he looked toward the empty doorway. A moment later, Iolaus appeared, making his way toward them when he spotted their location. Hercules tried to pinpoint the change in his friend as he settled himself next to Diomedes. He walked with his usual strength and economy of motion, but, the bounce which had formerly characterized his step was gone. He�d lost weight, and, though he gleamed golden in the firelight, an air of darkness clung about him. He garnered glances from the surrounding tables, but, rather than being admiring or amused, they were cautious. He *was* �a dangerous looking fellow�. Why?

"Hercules. Xena." His voice was light and sweet, but, when Hercules met his gaze, he saw that he had misjudged Diomedes; he had not overstated the case. In fact, his description of Iolaus� eyes paled in the face of reality. They weren�t just empty; they were dead. That was the reason for the strange feeling of menace emanating from him. He looked like a man who had nothing to lose, because, he cared about nothing.

Hercules swallowed painfully. The compact figure across from him was a stranger. He felt as though he were viewing a memory of Iolaus, from the distant past. Without sound, without warmth, just a flickering image. A dream. He�d never felt as lonely in his entire life as he did now, sitting at a table in a crowded room, with his closest friend. He forced himself to focus, to move carefully.

"I have a feeling that we didn�t meet the whole band, earlier. Do you get the same feeling?" Hercules felt a dim sense of pride; his voice sounded quite even, very calm.

Iolaus nodded.

"Yeah, Diomedes and I have been talking about that. Thanks," this to the barmaid as she handed him a mug of ale. He didn�t even seem to see her flirtatious smile, "Are you planning to go �hunting�?" He asked Hercules.

"Yes. They shouldn�t be too hard to track."

"Want company?" Iolaus asked, tonelessly.

Diomedes sent an unreadable look in his direction, but, said nothing.

"Uh, sure. Yes, of course; we could use your help."

"We�ll join you, then. When do we leave?"

Xena snorted.

"Are you so sure of your watchdog, then?" she indicated Diomedes scornfully, "You whistle, and he�ll come to heel?"

Hercules started, staring at her in astonishment. Iolaus, however, showed not a flicker of emotion. He glanced briefly at Diomedes and took a swallow of ale as Diomedes laughed. That same cold, delighted laugh which he�d uttered earlier.

An awkward silence fell over the little table. The Iolaus of old would have lifted it easily with a joke or by spinning a long, involved tale. Instead, he let his dull eyes flicker over the inn, sipping at his ale. He didn�t seem distracted; he seemed disinterested.

"Well, Diomedes. It looks as though none of the blood was yours," Hercules gestured toward the other man�s undamaged face with an unsteady smile.

Iolaus laughed, and Hercules swallowed past the pain in his throat; even his laughter was toneless.

"Yeah. Must be the advantage of having long arms; the gods know he leaves openings big enough to drive a chariot through," There was a glimmer of the old Iolaus in the dry words.

"Enjoy the ale, shorty; it may be your last," Diomedes glowered theatrically.

"Yikes." Iolaus drained his mug and stood.

"Tomorrow, then? I�m sure that the two of you are tired, and wouldn�t mind some time alone. I�ll be in here in the morning," Iolaus drifted to the door, the other denizens of the inn stumbling over themselves to stay out of his path.

Hercules� heart twisted within him, and he fought to keep himself from running after Iolaus, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him until something, anything, registered in his eyes. That parody of a smile, the cold manner. No, cold wasn�t the right word. There was no feeling at all in Iolaus� actions, in his presence. He was like a perfect, wax replica of himself, complete with a wig and battered clothing. But, he knew that he couldn�t chase his friend down; the situation was too delicate. He turned his tormented eyes to Diomedes.

Unexpectedly, the cold fire ran out of the redheaded warrior; his face softened, and his eyes filled with tears, which spilled freely down his cheeks. He wept silently, not seeming to be aware of the eyes on him from the nearby tables, of Hercules and Xena sitting across from him. He looked younger, vulnerable; like a gentle twin of the man who�d been taking their souls apart with such deadly precision.

"Diomedes?" It was Xena who spoke, hesitantly.

"He will be a comfort to all who love you, in days to come, warrior princess. He will give of his own great soul, to bring them healing and peace. Healing for the god who is man, the girl who is woman. He will love you past hatred; forgive you past hope. Iolaus, the lover who was unloved. He will weep over your bier, where another would have rejoiced."

Diomedes� voice was a warm cymbal; it struck to Xena�s heart and laid it bare, but a soft, loving smile lit his darkened eyes as he gazed at her. Then he turned his face to her companion. Hercules couldn�t breathe; he felt the walls slowly closing in, suffocating him.

"Son of Zeus; mourn him not. You can reclaim him."

Diomedes ceased speaking suddenly; Xena realized that the black had nearly eclipsed the deep brown of his wide eyes. His face was drained of blood, and his breathing was uneven. He shook his head sharply, and focused on Hercules.

"Diomedes ... " Hercules reached across the table to grasp Diomedes� hand.

"Enough." Diomedes freed his hand gently, then slipped into the crowd and disappeared.

Xena and Hercules stared at one another, the seer�s words thickening the air around them.

Iolaus wandered into the forest, barely watching where he placed his feet. He�d known that the true test would come when he faced Hercules again. How appallingly close he�d come to failing that test.

�Hold the bucket steady, Iolaus.� He coached himself, silently. Steady.

But, he�d wanted to upend it completely, let all of the anger, pain and loneliness spill out. He�d wanted to rage at Hercules, to scream at him "WHY?". Why did you hurt me? Is that why you spared me, in battle? Because a quick death would be too merciful?" Would Hercules have soothed him, with gentle, reasonable words and warm smiles? Would he have offered Iolaus forgiveness and friendship?

�And, what have you done to earn his friendship? Who are you that he should explain himself to you? He loves Xena. She loves him. They owe you nothing. Get over it, Iolaus. Show some backbone. Did Hercules come crying to you when you betrayed him? Did he demand an explanation of you?�

He remembered what his father had called him when he was a child. Crybaby. Weak, little crybaby; never will be big enough to be a warrior. Well, he�d been half right. Damn him.

"Oh, well; once I�ve got this not caring thing down, he�ll be all wrong. Serve him right, too."

He headed back to the village. He had to learn how to look upon Hercules� face again. How to listen to the music of Xena�s voice. He would travel with the lovers. He would fight by Hercules� side. He would do these things without pain, without pleasure. He would hold the bucket steady. One day, perhaps, he would look, and the bucket would finally be blessedly empty.

"Scout? Him? He looks like a torch!" Xena�s voice was roughly contemptuous, "I�ll scout."

Diomedes took one step toward her, his hand on the hilt of his knife. She felt the rage washing toward her, and leaned into it, her own anger firing to meet it. He read her eyes and stopped. Without a word, he passed her and faded into the forest.

"Well, looks like he�s going to scout. Come on; let�s get the camp set up," Hercules sounded as exhausted as he looked. Xena and Diomedes had been at one another�s throats all day; from the moment he had entered the inn with Iolaus that morning, it had been clear that the gentle seer had been replaced once again by the cold, angry warrior. And, he had immediately commenced baiting Xena unmercifully. Iolaus had been just as wooden as he had been the night before; somehow, it had been harder to take, after the prophet�s words.

�You can reclaim him�.

Hercules snorted to himself. Just how was he supposed to do that?

"I�ll rustle up some dinner," Iolaus didn�t wait for acknowledgment before heading off.

"I�ll be back," Xena stalked off down the road, with Hercules� staring at her retreating form with exasperation.

Xena�s blood was boiling in her veins; she wanted nothing more than to discover whether Diomedes� blood would clash with his hair.

She had been traveling for some time before she realized that she wasn�t scouting. She was tracking. Tracking Diomedes. Even as she admitted this to herself, he melted from the shelter provided by a clump of rocks just ahead and stood before her.

"Looking for me?" His eyes were hatred distilled. The joyous, inhuman mask he�d worn during battle was in place.

"I want to know why you blame me for all of this. I used Iolaus; it�s true. I do regret that. But, whatever game he is playing now, is his own. Don�t make me a part of it."

"Game?" Diomedes� voice was a low, anticipatory purr.

"Do you think I�m blind? �Oh, I�m hurt, Hercules. Look what Xena did to me.� And Hercules comes running. Well, Iolaus is a grown man. He needs to learn to take care of himself. Without Hercules. Without you. How many other warriors does he have waiting, to fight his battles for him? When will he fight for himself?" Xena wasn�t sure where the hateful words were coming from; they boiled out of her, seemingly of their own volition. She was vaguely surprised to hear them, but, the release was incredible, like the painful, yet gratifying, relief of a poisoned wound opening under the lance.

"Is that what would salve your conscience? If he attacked you? If he inflicted some pain on you, to counterbalance your memories of the pain you caused him? He won�t. You are a fool. You didn�t just bed him, Xena; you had a place in his heart. Yet, you still can�t see him. Or, do you refuse to see him? Are you afraid to face what you would have been allowed to share, had you actually loved him as you made him believe that you did? Are you afraid to admit that Hercules �comes running� to his aid because he is a good man, a worthy friend? You exploited his vulnerability, and broke his spirit. Yet, he would still spare you, if he were here. Well, warrior, the gods are smiling on both of us; he�s *not* here. I am. If it�s pain that you crave, I can provide it."

Xena paled as Diomedes� words coiled in her brain. All of her guilt and self-doubt gathered in a fiery knot in the pit of her stomach. She would kill those feelings when she killed Diomedes.

She unsheathed her sword and gathered herself, then swung it over her head. A quick feint, then a slash intended to send that red head flying into the forest beyond. Somehow, the blow didn�t connect, and a quick, savage kick sent the sword spinning. Fine. She smiled grimly into the burning brown eyes before her.

"Hand to hand, then, *warrior*. I know; perhaps the winner can claim the spoils. I recognize the brand." she gestured at the fading bruises ringing his white throat, "He is good, I�ll give him that."

She felt a savage glee as the seer�s fragile control broke. Diomedes roared, and the battle began.

Hercules gathered wood and started a fire, then settled himself painfully on a log before it, wishing that he could just shut himself off, bury his memories, bury the present and the past.

He shook as he realized that this was exactly what Iolaus had done. Was doing. The hurt had been too great, the guilt, the loss. The loneliness. He�d shut himself off. All Hercules had to do was ...

"Where�s Xena?"

That light, toneless voice. Hercules looked up into the dead eyes, searching for a glimpse of his beloved friend in the blue depths.

"Scouting, I think."

Iolaus shook his head. He dumped a leaf-wrapped bundle on the nearest rock and settled on the log next to Hercules.

"I hope she doesn�t run across Diomedes. He�s very angry with her."

"For your sake."

"Yeah. He�ll be all right, though; it will pass. If she�d just stay out of his way."

"Have you ever known Xena to run from anything?"

Iolaus� answer was a semi-amused grunt. He picked up a stick and began poking the fire with it.

Hercules broke the ensuing silence in a hesitant voice.

"And, what about me?"

Iolaus turned, a puzzled frown between his fair brows, blank nothingness in his cerulean eyes.

"What about you?"

"Isn�t Diomedes angry with me? For your sake?"

Iolaus dropped his gaze.

"Yes. I tried to explain it to him, but, he�s so ... so ...."

"Emotional? So much in love with you?"

Iolaus looked up again, and Hercules rejoiced as his friend�s eyes flickered. But, as quickly as it had come, the flash was gone.

"Yeah. I told him that it was my fault. I guess it�s easier for him to be mad at you and Xena than at me," He cleared his throat and stood, "Well, I�ll find them; why don�t you start the quail cooking?"

"No. Iolaus, talk to me. What do you mean �it was your fault�?" Hercules stood and grabbed Iolaus� arm.

"I can�t, Hercules. Not yet."

"Why? Why not now?"

"Because, I can�t control it well enough, yet. I need more time. Just let me go."

"No. Why did you tell Diomedes that it was your fault?"

"Come on, Hercules. You became Xena�s lover. Don�t you think that says enough? You feel that what she did was justified. You must. So, you know that I was to blame. We all know it." Iolaus pulled his arm free with an impatient jerk. His jaw was set, but his eyes were still carefully vacant. "If I hadn�t been so ... emotional. So foolish. If I hadn�t been so weak ..."

"What�s wrong with being passionate? What�s wrong, even, with being weak?"

"What do you mean? It almost got you killed," His effort to control his face, his voice, was palpable.

"But, I�m alive, Iolaus. I�m here. How many times has your reckless heart saved me? Balance that against your love for Xena having placed me in danger. How many times have you been in danger simply because you are my friend? How many times have you died?" Hercules� voice faltered, and he took a deep breath before continuing, "Have I ever had the strength to walk away from you, because I presented a danger to you? Would you have wanted me to?"

"Have you ever betrayed me?" Iolaus� throat closed around the words, and the tears he�d been denying since he first struck Hercules at Xena�s stronghold gathered behind his eyes.

Hercules took another unsteady breath.

"You know that I have. When I took Xena into my arms. When you turned on me, you did it out of trust, and love. You were blinded, yes. You were wrong, yes. But, you were still acting out of your love for Xena."

"So were you," Iolaus� voice was steady, and he had fought the tears back down. He was trying desperately to hold the bucket steady, even though the ground was shaking beneath him.

"I keep telling myself that, and, mostly it�s true. But, there�s something more. Something that�s been eating at me. I knew that you would be hurt when you realized what had happened between us. I told myself that it was right to follow my heart. But, a small part of me wanted something more." Hercules stood and began pacing restlessly, then turned to look down at Iolaus� pale, questioning face.

"I was angry, Iolaus. I was hurt. It killed me when you turned against me; when I looked into your eyes and saw anger and mistrust. Killed me when you drew the knife that we�d forged in friendship and pointed it at me in battle. For a moment, it felt as though you�d actually planted the blade in my heart. Sometimes, I feel it there, still. When I realized how I felt about Xena, that ugly part of me didn�t care if it hurt you. In truth, my friend; that part of me wanted to hurt you. It wanted proof that you still cared about me. The proof that would come with your pain. That�s the truth. Which of us is weak, now?" Hercules faced Iolaus, dreading what might come, but, relieved to have spoken the words, at last.

"Proof?" The tears gathered in Iolaus� blue eyes, spilling over with a rush. "Proof?"

Hercules watched in silence as Iolaus turned and made his way into the woods, then shook himself and followed. Iolaus� skills were being turned against his friend; Hercules had to concentrate his every effort just on finding and following his tracks.

It was Xena�s battle cry which finally led him to Iolaus. It rang through the trees, and was sharply bitten off. Hercules veered in the direction of the sound, pushing furiously through low-hanging branches as he heard Iolaus� voice:

"Diomedes!"

Through the last of the trees, Hercules spotted Xena, sprawled on the ground. She was filthy, and streaked with blood. Diomedes, equally bloody and dirt-stained, was standing opposite her, panting with exertion. Iolaus stood between them, white-faced and trembling so violently that Hercules could see it from the edge of the clearing.

Iolaus moved toward Xena, and reached down. Unexpectedly, she lashed out, knocking his feet out from under him and sending him crashing to the ground. He shook his head to clear it, and somersaulted backward to avoid her as she flung herself at him. Diomedes roared and threw himself forward, locking one arm around her neck and imprisoning her right arm with his other. She struggled as her breath was cut off by the iron grip at her throat.

"No! Diomedes, enough!" Iolaus reached for Diomedes as Hercules launched himself toward them.

A wild shouting filled the small clearing, and, for a moment, the two pairs of warriors looked at one another, as though one of them must be the source. A second later, the clearing filled with mercenaries, boiling from the trees like a pestilence.

The four wheeled to greet the unexpected threat, Diomedes releasing Xena, who cast a desperate glance around her for her lost sword. She took the first man, disarmed and dispatched him within the space of a breath, and turned to the next, dimly aware of Hercules flinging one foe toward another. Her throat burned with returning breath, and her face burned as well, with the guilty realization that Iolaus had just tried to save her life for the second time.

Diomedes fought furiously, trying to keep an eye on Iolaus. Iolaus, his face white and suffused with pain, nonetheless moved as quickly as ever, taking on three or four opponents at a time, his fearlessness confusing and frightening them. Diomedes began working his way toward the blonde warrior, concerned at the risks he was taking. He seemed more reckless than ever before, and the seer�s heart froze within him as he watched Iolaus being thrown backward, a sword slashing toward his exposed chest.

"Iolaus! Don�t!" The cry tore through Diomedes� throat as he flung one mercenary after another aside in his efforts to reach his friend. What he was seeing was more than he could bear; Iolaus, arching his back toward the blow, not raising a hand to defend himself. His eyes were focused on the enemy above him, brilliant with bitter joy. The blade was hurtling toward him, to lay his broken heart open to the world. Like the vision. Time seemed to have slowed to a crawl, to draw the horror out into infinity.

Hercules, fighting mechanically, heard the terror-filled shout and turned in time to see Iolaus offering himself to the blade, with Diomedes roaring toward him. He saw the welcome in his friend�s blue eyes, as he reached for his death. A wordless cry of agony left Hercules� lips, and Iolaus turned and caught a glimpse of Hercules� horrified face, then threw himself aside almost in time to avoid the blade. It sliced across his shoulder, glancing off of the bone. Shaking with reaction, he kicked the mercenary as he raised his arms for a second blow, then got to his feet and spun, his next kick taking the other man down, and out.

Diomedes gave himself over to his fury, roaring like a maddened beast and throwing himself against the enemy with a blind lust. Iolaus fought as desperately to reach him, and Hercules to protect Iolaus. Xena, unaware of what had happened, felt the renewed energy of the charge, nonetheless, and flung herself into the fray with every bit of her skill and strength.

The redoubled energy of the four warriors proved to be too much for the few remaining mercenaries, who withdrew haphazardly into the forest. Hercules approached Diomedes cautiously, watching as the maddened eyes cleared, carefully keeping himself between the redhead and Iolaus until the other man recovered his wits. Xena, seeing the blood staining Iolaus� chest, moved toward him with her hand outstretched.

"Iolaus. You�re wounded." She stopped short as he all but jumped to the side to avoid her touch.

"I�m fine. I�ll see you at camp." He turned and made his shaky way out of the clearing. Hercules moved as if to follow, and Diomedes reached out to hold him back.

"We�ll track him. Let him be alone, for a while."

"But, you saw! He ..." Hercules couldn�t complete the thought.

"Yes. I saw." Diomedes looked around coolly, taking a sword from one of the nearest bodies, "Let�s go."

Both men began to head off in the direction which Iolaus had taken, but, Hercules stopped as he saw that Xena had not moved.

"Xena? Have you been hurt?" Hercules stepped toward her, concerned.

She laughed humorlessly.

"He�s wounded. Would he allow himself to bleed to death, to avoid the feel of my hand on his skin?"

"You find this strange?" Diomedes asked quietly, as Hercules stood, immobile.

"No. I guess not. I thought that it was enough to know that he didn�t hate me for what happened. But, I�m beginning to feel as though I don�t even *know* what happened. What the damage truly was. I don�t know. Why did I attack him? Why did I say what I did to you, Diomedes?" She left the clearing without a backward glance, headed for camp.

Hercules and Diomedes stood for a moment, regarding one another. Hercules felt numb with reaction and exhaustion; looking into Diomedes� drawn face was like looking into a mirror.

"Hercules. You reached him, somehow. You spoke to him?"

"Yes. I spoke the truth to him. I think he hates me, now," Hercules looked away, and began following Iolaus� trail, with Diomedes walking beside him.

"Iolaus will never hate you, Hercules. Never. You must know that."

"Diomedes. He was ready let that blade kill him."

"But, he didn�t. You called him back."

"I�ve hurt him."

"He�s hurt you. Do you hate him?"

Hercules sighed.

"I hate talking to seers."

"You�re not the only one."

The rest of the trip was silent.

Diomedes had been gathering herbs as the two made their way back to camp. When they arrived, Iolaus was sitting by the fire; his complexion was off, and a slight sheen of sweat filmed his skin. Diomedes handed the herbs to Hercules with a nod toward Iolaus, then rummaged in his bag for a length of bandaging cloth, which he also handed to the demigod. Hercules stared at him for a moment, realizing what it must have cost the healer to relinquish Iolaus to his care, then turned to his injured friend.

Iolaus said nothing as Hercules removed his bloodied vest to wash and tend his wound. He avoided Hercules� eyes, but his body was relaxed under his friend�s sure, gentle touch.

The wound was long, and deep, but the bone was undamaged. Hercules cringed at the exhaustion and pain in Iolaus� face as he finished the bandaging. He pulled a blanket over and wrapped a weakly protesting Iolaus in it, propping him against the log, facing the fire.

"Rest. I�ll help with the food," he watched until Iolaus settled back, snuggling his head into the crook of his elbow and closing his eyes.

Diomedes had just finished spitting the quail, and Hercules helped him set them up over the fire.

"Where�s Xena?"

Diomedes met Hercules� questioning eyes with a slight smile.

"She went to check the perimeter, and to scout. I think she�ll find that the few mercenaries we left standing have scattered, though."

"How did she seem?"

"Alive. Thanks to Iolaus." Diomedes turned away to watch Iolaus sleeping.

"Diomedes. Why do you hate her, and not me?"

"I can�t hate you, Hercules. You brought Iolaus back. He may never be the Iolaus we once knew; his innocence is a thing of the past. But, at least he will allow himself to feel again. To live. That�s more than I�d hoped for before you showed up," his eyes never left the sleeping hunter as he spoke. Finally, he reached for his bag and rummaged in it.

He handed Hercules a skin of wine.

"Here, this has poppy in it. He�ll be in pain. Care for him," Diomedes turned away.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"Don�t panic, Hercules. I�m just attending to nature. I�ll be back to eat my share of quail," Diomedes headed off into the forest, laughing softly.

Hercules watched over Iolaus for most of the night, finally relinquishing his spot to Diomedes when he realized that his eyes simply couldn�t stay open any longer. Iolaus was sleeping deeply; the poppy had overcome the pain. He hadn�t spoken to either Hercules or Diomedes, and a thoughtful frown had been haunting his face.

The demigod lay down within arm�s reach of the wounded man, and slept for a few, fitful hours, haunted by a series of nightmares, all featuring the look on Iolaus� face as he watched the sword that promised to release him from life. He awoke with his friend�s name on his lips, barely reassured by the sight of Iolaus, curled into Diomedes� arms, asleep. A strange pain passed through him as Diomedes pressed his lips to the sleeping brow, then raised his face to smile reassuringly at Hercules.

�What you could have taken, with one smile.� The seer�s words came back to Hercules like a blow. He shook the unaccustomed feelings off, and headed for the lake, finding Xena already there.

"Hercules. How�s Iolaus?"

He kissed her lingeringly.

"Sleeping. I think he�ll be fine. It�s a bad wound, but, you know Iolaus."

"No, I don�t think that I do. Hercules, I�ll stay until he�s out of danger, in case you need me, but, then I�ve got to leave. I�ve got a lot of work to do."

Hercules studied her impassive face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

She shot him a look.

"What do you think? I�ll go find something for us to eat."

She headed off down the shore.

Iolaus slept for most of that day and night. Hercules would persuade him to eat a bit each time he awoke, and drink more of the poppy wine. The next morning he ate more willingly, and began to refuse the wine.

"Hercules, I�ve slept enough. My head feels like bowl of day-old gruel. The pain�s not so bad, anymore."

Hercules, watching Iolaus suppress a wince as he struggled to a sitting position, declined to comment.

"Well, you might change your mind in a minute. I�ve got to change the dressings on your shoulder."

Iolaus grimaced, but bore the pain stoically as Hercules unwrapped and cleaned the wound, refreshing the herbal pack and re-binding his shoulder. Hercules sighed with relief as he saw that the injury was healing cleanly. He finished the bandaging almost reluctantly; this quiet contact with Iolaus was like a soothing balm to his own spirit. He shifted to rise from his knees, but, a small, strong hand on his arm restrained him.

"Herc. Wait. I�m ... I�m sorry. For everything. I�m so sorry that I hurt you. Please, forgive me," Iolaus� voice was very gentle, "If it means anything, it was the hardest thing I�ve ever done, turning on you. Even though I thought you doubted me, that you were lying to me, I ... I just couldn�t believe that we weren�t together any more. That we were enemies. It was like a stone on my heart, that got heavier each time I thought about it. I never wanted to hurt you. Believe me."

Hercules felt an impulse to reach out and warm his hands at the light in Iolaus� blue eyes, his heart contracting at Iolaus� use of his nickname. At last. Of course Iolaus hadn�t wanted to hurt him. He was stubborn, passionate, foolhardy. But, never cruel. Reaching out, Hercules laid his hand on the unbandaged shoulder.

"Iolaus. Of course I forgive you. Can you possibly forgive me?"

A brilliant smile and a slight, measuring cock of his head from Iolaus.

"Well ... all right. I guess I can."

"Iolaus. What happened, during the battle? Are you really back?"

Iolaus sighed, but his eyes remained fixed on Hercules.

"I was tired. I couldn�t handle the pain any more. I just wanted it to be over. But, I saw your face, and I couldn�t do it. I can see now that I was being selfish, cowardly. We�re friends. We have to live with the ugly things that happen between us. After all, we�re only human. We�ll, I�m only human. You�re half a god, which is even worse," he grinned shakily.

"Well, maybe we�ll both think before we act in the future," Hercules laughed at the skeptical gleam in Iolaus� eyes, "Hey, it could happen!"

"Iolaus. I need to talk to you," Xena approached Iolaus warily.

Iolaus� eyes were equally wary as he watched her. They had avoided one another quite successfully for the past few days, as Iolaus healed. Xena had scouted the area thoroughly, as much as an excuse to avoid camp as out of any real danger; it was obvious that the mercenaries had fled, singly and in pairs. The danger had passed, and Iolaus was fit to travel. It was time for her to leave.

"I just wanted you to know that, I�m ..." her voice faltered.

"Listen, Xena, it�s OK. You don�t need to say anything. Just leave it."

"I can�t just leave it. We can�t meet one another�s eyes, you shy from my touch. We will see one another again, you know; it�s unavoidable. I need your forgiveness."

"I�m trying, Xena. In a way, I�m grateful for what you did."

"Grateful?" Xena asked incredulously.

"You showed me some things about myself that I needed to face. I was eaten up inside because I wasn�t as good as Hercules. Well, I don�t *need* to be Hercules. We�ve already got one. I just need to be Iolaus. Someday, I�ll meet someone who can love me for being what I am. Just Iolaus. Perhaps I already have," his smile was wistful. "Also, I needed to realize that I was too gullible; there are other people who will want to get to Hercules through me. I need to be more suspicious."

Xena dropped her eyes for a moment, then met his once again.

"Iolaus. You are a good man. You don�t need to change, just because there are evil people in the world. In fact, that�s why you need to be who you are; kind, gentle, trusting. Don�t let what happened take that away from you. Away from us. The world needs you, Iolaus," she almost extended her hand, then caught herself.

As though he had read her mind, Iolaus moved away slightly.

"It may be too late, Xena; I think I�ve already changed. But, thank you, for the words."

They both turned as Hercules and Diomedes approached.

"Iolaus. How are you feeling?"

Iolaus sighed to himself. This was getting ridiculous. He tried not to be gratified at Hercules� obvious concern.

"Bored. I�m ready to head for home."

"And, I�ve got to move on, as well," Xena�s voice was controlled.

Hercules studied her face silently as he took her hand.

"We�ll accompany you to the road."

It was a silent journey from the little camp to the village. Diomedes and Iolaus walked slowly, at a good distance from Xena and Hercules. They settled side by side on a rock as the other two warriors entered Raslin to retrieve Xena�s horse.

"Well, Iolaus. It�s been fun, as usual."

Iolaus laughed.

"Liar," he sobered quickly, "Diomedes, thank you. If you hadn�t come for me ..."

Diomedes regarded him silently for a long moment, then smiled sadly.

"Iolaus. The debt I owe you can never be repaid. But, I�m not here out of obligation, or gratitude. I love you. I�m here out of selfishness; I want you alive and well."

Iolaus laughed again, and grasped Diomedes� forearm warmly, before standing to greet Hercules and Xena, as they returned.

"Iolaus. Good-bye," Xena smiled at Iolaus, careful not to extend her arm.

"Good-bye, Xena. Be careful."

Diomedes watched from half-lidded eyes as Xena turned from Iolaus and walked a few paces away, to exchange a kiss with Hercules before mounting her horse and beginning her lonely journey. He started at a hand on his shoulder.

"Good-bye, Diomedes. Next time, don�t wait for a prompting from the gods to look me up, all right?"

Iolaus traced Diomedes� face with a gentle hand, then took the taller man into his arms, and gifted him with a kiss of such passion, such bittersweet tenderness, that Diomedes� eyes were brimming with unshed tears by the time Iolaus released him. He pulled Iolaus close again and stole another kiss; when he looked up, he met Hercules� eyes over the bright head. The demigod�s expression was a puzzle; was that a hint of a challenge? He pushed the thought to the back of his mind, and smiled down at Iolaus.

"Don�t worry, beloved, I won�t. Take care of Hercules."

"That�s a promise."

Hercules joined them, and took Diomedes� arm. They studied one another silently, as Iolaus moved several steps away and fussed unnecessarily over his sword belt.

"Thank you, Diomedes."

The seer smiled.

"There�s no need to thank me."

"Yes, there is. Not only for watching over Iolaus, but ... Diomedes, you�re a healer. You love Iolaus. I know that you would rather have cared for him, but, you left that to me. I ... I�m grateful for that. It was important."

For once, Diomedes dropped his gaze, his brown eyes slipping away from Hercules� pale blue regard. With his face still averted, he said:

"There is more to healing than using the proper herbs in the proper proportion. Besides, didn�t you both have wounds to be dealt with? I think Iolaus needed to tend to yours, just as you needed to tend to his."

He faced Hercules once again and released his arm.

"Farewell, Hercules."

Iolaus rejoined them, and took silent leave of Diomedes, then set off with Hercules, Iolaus glancing back once to grin over his shoulder at his fierce lover.

Xena wheeled her horse, to catch a last glimpse of Hercules. He was walking down the road with an easy stride, one hand resting on Iolaus� good shoulder. The smaller man�s golden head was flung back, and she could hear his laughter ringing through the air. In the middle of the road, between her and the two friends, stood Diomedes. He, too, was watching as they walked away. As they disappeared around the bend, he turned toward Xena. Once again, she felt the shock of his gaze, even at a distance. He stood silently for a moment, unmoving, then left the road and was lost from view in the forest.

From a distance, she heard Hercules� joyous laughter, joined with that of Iolaus. They�d won another battle. An unbeatable team.

She headed down the road, in the opposite direction.

The End

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