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"The Adventures Of SatAM Man and The Nique" is © Sonicus Prime. Sonic The Hedgehog and other related characters are © Sega, DiC and Archie. Ben Hurst, Ken Penders, Alison Scharlemann, J.F. Gabrie, Pat Allee and all the FUSers are real people, but the events in this story haven't taken place in any real life events. If you don’t like this stuff, I personally couldn’t give a fuck. Anyone caught stealing my stuff will make me very upset and extremely pissed off. If you wish too put this on your site, please Email me first so I can decide if you can. Email address is [email protected] .
The Adventures of SatAM Man and The Nique 6: Sega Man's Master Plan
Written by: Sonicus Prime
CHAPTER 1:
Within the Operation Room, Sega Man was having the SegaSonic Arcade removed from his rectum. "OW, OW, OW!!! Dammit! Careful! My ass is very sensitive!" The doctor pulled out the huge machine, and looked at it rather shocked.
"You’re a very lucky person... I've never seen an ass stuffed with so much hardware. All that should of killed you!" The Doctor patched up Sega Man's ass, then left the room, leaving Sega Man on his own.
"Those bastards SatAM Man and The Nique will pay for this! No-one, and I mean NO-ONE stuffs Sega Products up my ass!" Slowly, he got up from his bed. "Ow!" And walked over too the window "I didn't want too do it, but they left me no choice. It's time too put Plan#4,563,127,424, or better know as 'Operation: Piss SatAM fans off so bad' into action! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Back at FUS Headquarters...
"Do they ever sleep Alison?" Pat pointed too the corner of the room. John, Reese, Prime, Mikerules and Chalcara had Forest trapped in the corner; all of them had a 2x4...
"You guys ready for a game of Forest Tennis?" John grinned at the helpless Forest as he sank too the floor and shitted himself.
"YEAH!!!" All the others yelled with joy. John grabbed Forest and was just about too whack him too Reese.
"All right guys stop it! I know Forest is the FUSer's punching bag and shit... But could you at least give us a few minutes of peace? We did just had a battle with Archie Man and SU Man and we want a few hours sleep!!!" Alison started grabbing the planks of wood off of them.
"Thanks Nique!" Forest turned and flipped John off, until he realised that John still had the 2x4 in his hand. Forest eyes went wide as John raised the plank over his head. Smiling at the little dweeb, he threw the plank onto Forest's head, knocking him too the floor.
"YeeeeeeeeeeaaaAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Mikerules threw his arms into the air. "I'll give you 9.5 for that John!"
"I can do it again if ya want mate!" John raised the 2x4 again, but Alison took it off him
"JOHN! Go and do a timeout! For timeout, go watch 20 episodes of Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog, NOW!!!" Alison pointed too the direction off the room. John didn't want too argue, he slowly walked off too the room, he was stopped by Reese.
"Be strong man, till be over in like... 7 hours" Reese said as Prime passed John a copy of 'HalloweeN: The Complete Michael Myers/Dr. Loomis Collection'
"Yeah... Be strong dude! It'll be over before you know it." Prime said as John closed the door behind him.
Alison looked at all of them. "Right, and IF anymore of you try that shit, and give you all a timeout, and you'll have too watch every episode of Sonic Underground!"
Prime and Chalcara gave each other a high 5 and then hugged each other with excitement, "YEAH!" they yelled with joy, and then they both looked at Alison "Oh... Errrrrr... I mean... That'll suck!" Chalcara added.
"Good cover up!" Prime whispered into her ear.
"Say... Where's Ben?" Pat wondered as she looked around the room. "Wasn't he here a few minutes ago?"
"I'm not sure... He did say he was hungry. Maybe he went too make a 'Ben Hurst's gonna eat this and go too E.R gut pounder sandwich'... You know how he loves those.
Suddenly the SatAM Phone rang, Alison went too picked it up. "Hello, SatAM Man's sidekick The Nique here, you got a problem with SatAM and we'll personally fuck you up!"
From the other end of the phone, "Alison, it's me Ben! Quick, I need you and Pat too come and meet me in Area 5! Bring my custom with you!"
"You errrrrrrr... Wanna tell us the problem Ben?"
"NO TIME! Be quick about it... Oh and bring your wallets with you. Ben out!" he slammed the payphone down.
"That was Ben! Sound like trouble Pat! Quick... To the Cave!" Alison pointed into the direction of the cave. Pat and her ran towards the cave, but Alison stopped and went too Prime, Tristan and Nightweaver. "Oh yeah I forgot too say, we've a got a newbie in the newbie room. I want you 3 too bring him in and make him feel welcome alright?" She then dived down her pole.
"A Newbie huh?" Tristan said, looking at Night. "And we gotta be... nice too him?
"That's what she said. Right everyone!" Nightweaver made sure he got everyone's attention "We've got a newbie here with us today! Now I know that we normally drive the new guys up the wall and shit, but Alison wants us too be nice too him OK. I'm sure that after a few days... We can beat the crap cakes out of him!" He turned too Prime, "What's the guys name?"
Prime checked the name on the list "Errrrrrrrrrrr... Sonic AC." He grabbed the door handle and opened the door. Standing there was this guy. He just looked at all the other FUSers. "Errrrrrr... Hi." Prime said as some of the others waved too him.
"SHUT UP! YOU ALL HATE ME! YOU ALL HATE ME BECAUSE YOU ALL HATE OUTSIDERS!" Those were the only words that came out of Sonic AC's mouth.
All the FUSers looked at him with wide eyes. A few looked at each other. "I wonder what this guys on! Cause whatever it is... I want some!" Reese whispered into Koatix's ear
In the SatAM Cave, Nique and SatAM Woman looked at the SatAM Map. "Right, so here's Area 5. OK, let's roll out!" The 2 women jumped into the SatAM Mobile and headed off towards Area 5...
15 minutes later...
"There he is!" SatAM Woman pointed towards Ben's direction. Nique pulled up next too him.
"BEN! What's the problem?" She said... If it was too come from Ben, it had too be a HUGE problem, she didn't want too think if it was something too do with SatAM.
"About time guys, look we've got a huge problem... It's... It's... IT'S..."
CHAPTER 2:
"It's... It's..." Ben fell too the floor and whimpered. Nique grabbed him by the shirt, lifted him too his feet and slapped him around the face.
"Dammit man! Clam down! Just tell us what the problem is!" Nique shook Ben hard.
"It's.... It's Mr Monkey Man's Pizza Palace!"
"What? Is there a problem inside? Has SU Man or Archie Man taken people hostage?" SatAM Woman looked at him with a worried look in her eye as she got out of the SatAM Mobile.
"No. Mr Monkey Man's Pizza Palace is... CLOSING DOWN!!!" Again, Ben started too break down crying.
"What the fuck? You mean you called us all the way out here... Just too tell us that?" Nique was beginning too wonder why she took this job on in the first place.
"Is that what this is all about Ben?" SatAM Woman crossed her arms, as did Nique.
"No! I wanted you here so I could buy all the Pizzas! If they're closing down, I want too get as many as possible!"
"So why'd you have us bring your suit down?" SatAM Woman was, like Nique, getting a tad pissed off.
"Because SatAM Man is they're best customer... And if I go in there, they might let me have a discount or something!" He smiled with delight as he jumped into the back of the SatAM Mobile and started too get changed.
"And let me guess... You wanted us too bring our wallets because you have no cash as usual." Nique pulled out her wallet, since she knew she was right and that SatAM Man would argue until she handed it over.
"You guess right my little sidekick!"...
Back in FUS, the Mods and all the others were having a spot of trouble with the newbie Sonic AC. "Look man... All he said was "Hi", as in hello." Tristan calmly tried too explain too him. It didn't seem too be working.
"SHUT UP! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TOO DO! YOU JUST HATE ME! I KNOW BECAUSE YOU ALL HATE OUTSIDERS!" It was no use. No matter what the others said too him, he would throw out the same old shit too them.
"Right... That's it! Fuck this asshole!" Prime walked over too the time out room and threw the door open "Hey John! You want out early?"
John turned away from the TV screen. "What have I gotta do mate?" He got up and walked over too the door.
"See that asshole there? All you gotta do is throw his ass out of the door!" Prime pointed too Sonic AC who was still yelling at the others.
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I HATE YOU ALL, AND I'M..." Quickly, John scooped up Sonic AC with 1 arm. Shychick opened the door, giving John a place too throw the little cock sucker.
"So long mate!" John threw Sonic AC outside. He landed in a big, hot, steamy pile of camel shit. Chalcara quickly ran over and pressed his face hard into the wet stuff, then quickly ran back inside and giggled with delight.
"FINE! I DON'T NEED YOU! I'LL GO TOO SONIC CULT AND TELL THEM WHAT A BUNCH OF JERKS YOU ARE!"
"You do that... And don't come back!" Forest yelled at the retard as the door was shut. He turned too John and smiled "Good work Johnny Boy."
"Shut up!" John smacked Forest across the face. Forest rubbed the red mark "And don't call me Johnny Boy!"
"Well... Another Mod job done well!" Prime dusted his hands clean. "And too celebrate... I gonna go too town. You coming Reese?"
"Hmmm, okay." The stoner replied.
"Hey, you gonna invite the rest of us?" Wildfire asked.
"No. Quickly then my stoner buddy! Into the Bong Mobile!" Prime changed his form into a car and Reese jumped in, then they headed off too town.
"So what are we gonna do?" Chalcara asked too the others.
"Well, I wanna finish my game of Forest Tennis!" John smirked too Forest as he grabbed a 2x4...
Back outside Mr. Monkey Man's Pizza Palace, SatAM Man stuffed the last of the 250 Pizzas he just got. The only room left in the whole car was the driver seat. "So... How the hell are we gonna fit inside the SatAM Mobile?" Nique looked at the machine with all those Pizza boxes.
"Oh... Errrrrrr... Well you see... You 2 are gonna have too walk back, bye!" Quickly without another word, SatAM Man shot down the road, leaving his 2 sidekicks outside the Pizza place.
"DAMMIT! I knew he would do that!" Nique kicked the nearby sign before turning her attention back too SatAM Woman. "So I guess we walk huh? Unless we've got cash too get a cab too get near the cave." She put her hand into her pocket "How much you got?"
SatAM Woman held out some change in her hand "About 17 cents. You?"
"I only got 8 cents. DAMMIT! That won't even get us 5 feet. I guess we walk." The 2 female heroes headed off back too HQ...
Inside Sega HQ, Sega Man watched out the window, over the whole of Sonic Land. "Soon, very, very soon, I'll get my revenge on those pests." He tapped his figures together, and he had an evil grin on his face as he waited for something too arrive.
A good hour passed and nothing came, then another hour passed and he still looked out of the window. "Boy this sure is taking along time." A sudden bleep from the computer made him run to it "YES, YES, YES! Here it is, here it comes! YEEEEEEEE... Wait, this is just Spam mail!" He grabbed the monitor and was about the throw it out the window when it bleeped again "Huh?" He checked the email "Oh here it is! He grinned evilly at the email "YEEEEEEEES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA"...
CHAPTER 3:
After a good 4-hour walk, Nique and SatAM Woman were completely knackered. They didn’t even get into the cave, right outside of it, the fell too they’re knees. "If... If he... does that again... I’ll personally scoop out his eyeballs and skull fuck him!" Nique spoke too SatAM Woman as she crawled into the cave, followed by SatAM Woman.
"Count me in on that too!"
Inside, SatAM Man was sitting in a chair, eating the cold pizzas next too him. "Ohhhhhhhhh... Man, I don’t feel too good!" He held his gut as a rumbling sound was heard from inside it. Slowly pulling they’re way next too him too talk too him, Nique and SatAM Woman didn’t see it coming. Without warning, SatAM Man released the evil from within his ass. The gas went right into the direction of the Women’s faces. For him, it was over in a second, but for them? Who fucking knew? They’re faces went as green as money as they gasped for air. He didn’t see the women till a loud bang next to him. He turned too see the 2 women lying there.
"Holy Craptstic Crap Cakes!" Quickly he went too check Nique. She wasn’t moving. "Oh god! NO! I... I killed her! I killed my 2 sidekicks!" He cried for what seemed like 4 seconds... IF that! "Well shit happens! And when this type of shit happens, your sidekicks want you too have they’re wallets!" Smiling with delight, he reached too get her wallet, when a hand grabbed his. "Huh? Oh Nique... You’re alive... Thank God." He didn’t sound all too happy
"Ben..." She spoke too him in a low voice.
"Yeah?"
"You... You... Suck big floppy donkey dick!" She then passed out...
Up stairs, all fun was happening as they played Forest Tennis. "NO! FUCK OFF! Leave me alone!" Forest ran all around the house, trying desperately too stay away from John and his team of players.
"Come here ya little cunt!" John was catching up on Forest, swinging his 2x4 at the little dweeb.
Dominic watched Forest run by, and was quickly being followed by John and his Team. On the other side of the room, Mistress Ali was watching him, she was thinking. Then she walked over too him, grabbed his hand and lead him into another room. "Dom?" She asked him.
Yeah?" That was the only word that escaped his mouth.
"You know... Spending time with Donimic when I was with him in that cell... Well I have too say that I... I... I love you!"
Dominic gasped with delight! "Really?" He smiled looking at her. "Because I’ve really loved you too! Like, I think about you everyday, and I also..."
"NOT!" She pointed laughing at him. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" She couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheek from laughing too much. Dominic just felt his heart brake into a lot of small tiny pieces...
Meanwhile, not far away in town, Prime and Reese were having a blast. "Man today’s been a great day!" Reese stoned out of his head.
"Yeah! We’ve gotten stoned 6 times, had the munchies 6 times, and stolen a lot of weed and stuff!" Prime held a bag full of stolen goods, things from Aliens, Transformers, The Terminator etc, and about 5 months worth of weed and munchies.
"So now what?" Reese asked.
"Dunno? Wanna rent a video?"
"Okay." The 2 walked too the video shop. Upon arriving they saw... "Holy crap! Isn’t that Princess Sally?" Reese pointed to his goddess who was waiting outside the video store. He began too droll all over him self.
"Oh shit yeah! It really is her!" Prime looked on her his goddess too. Then turned too she someone else. "Oh dear god no! Look dude... It’s Mina!" Hate filled both they’re eyes.
"Hey wanna have some fun?" Reese said too his Transforming buddy.
"What ya got in mind?" Prime asked. Then Reese whispered the idea into Prime’s ear "OH I like that!" The 2 of them looked at the sex goddess and the slut with a smile...
Back in the cave, Nique and SatAM Woman finally came too. "Ohhhhhhhhh... My head. It hurts so fucking bad!" SatAM Woman rubbed her head.
"Oh good! You guys are wake... Well, you see this is what happened..."
*SATAM MAN’S IMAGINATION*
"Welcome back girls! I see you finally made it back with the pizzas!" SatAM Man was this huge, tall superhero, kind of like He-Man or something.
Nique walked in the Cave, like a total idiot, with only her underpants on, and drooling etc, same thing with SatAM Woman. "Duh yes sir! Here you go!" The 2 women held out the pizzas but dropped them "Duh, we’re the biggest idiots ever!"
*END OF IMAGINATION*
And then you passed out because you fell too the floor."
"That’s not what happened at all!" Nique yelled. "He farted, almost killing us and then decided too take our wallets!" She smacked him over the head.
"He did?" SatAM Woman said
"Yep!"
"BEN! You should know as well as I do... After working on SU, I’ve got no money left aswell! So you’ve got too steal off her and not me."
Nique looked over too SatAM Woman "Hey thanks! Remind me too totally fuck you over one day!"
"This is no time too argue my sidekicks, Mr. Monkey Man’s Pizza Palace is closing down and we’ve got a case too solve so it stays open!"
"Errrrrrrrrrr SatAM Man..." SatAM Woman tapped him on the shoulder "That hasn’t anything too do with SatAM. Remember, we’re here too protect SatAM only."
"Really?" He asked shocked, as if he was more than a protector for SatAM. She simply nodded.
"Well since it isn’t anything too do with SatAM, I say we go and get some well earned rest!" The 3 of them headed for they’re beds...
Meanwhile, outside Sonic Cult, Sonic AC was just thrown into horse crap. "OH YEAH? WELL I HATE YOU ALL, YOU OUTSIDER HATERS! I’LL GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND TELL THEM WHAT A BUNCH OF JERKS YOU ARE!" He got up too walk when someone stop him
"You want Revenge on those jerks over at FUS?" The tall hidden person asked him...
"SHUT UP, YOU HATE... Wait what did you say?"
"Do you want Revenge on the FUS crew? Because I can make it happen."
"What have I gotta do?"
The hidden person revealed himself too be... SEGA MAN! "Become my sidekick! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
CHAPTER 4:
Back in FUS, Ben, Pat and Alison were trying to sleep peacefully, but couldn't with all the noise going on downstairs. "DAMMIT!" Ben got too his feet and boy was he so pissed off.
"Yeah! They can't even give us like 5 minutes of peace!" Alison charged down the stairs too see what was normal in FUS, complete mayhem. "RIGHT!!! STOP IT FOR FUCK SAKE!!!" Everyone stopped dead in they're tracks and looked at her. "Give us like 4 hours of... Hey!" Alison pointed too John, who was about too whack Forest. "What the hell you doing out of the "Timeout" room?"
"Errrrrrrrrrr... Well Prime let me out early." John said with wide eyes, looking at Alison with carefulness, as if she'd rip him too shreds.
"PRIME!!! PRIME, GET IN THE TIMEOUT ROOM!" Alison pointed too the room.
Nightweaver tapped her on the shoulder "He like... left 6 hours ago or something like that."
"Right, well you can take his place!" She pointed too the room. Night looked her with the "What did I do?" look, but knew better than too argue. Tristan giggled. "You aswell! Get in there!" Tristan ran into the room, ready too something nasty with Night.
Alison slammed the door shut. "Right, if I have too come back down here, I'll personally throw all of you in there. If you give us 4 hours worth of sleep... I'll let you burn Forest all you want!"
"Yeah!" Pointed Ben at the others as they went too get some sleep...
Inside Sega HQ... "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Soon our Ultimate Revenge will take place. SatAM Man and The Nique will never know what hit them." Sega Man looked on the town of Sonic Land, watching as if something good would happen.
"Will it be a hammer? Or something heavy?" Asked Sonic AC.
"NO! It's my latest plan."
"But what is the plan Sega Man?" Sonic AC asked.
"Simply my Partner, we..." Sega Man whispered the plan into Sonic AC's ear. "Got it?"
"Yes sir! I like that!" A huge smile crossed Sonic AC's face. They laughed with delight "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..." A loud bang from the next room made them stop.
"KEEP IT DOWN ASSHOLES!"
"Sorry." They started to laugh, but quietly "Hehehehehehehehehe!"....
Outside the video store... "You ready dude?" Reese asked his partner. Prime nodded. "Let's do this stuff. They walked passed Mina and headed for Sally.
"Hi Princess..." Prime said making Sally turn around too face the 2 worthless pieces of shit in front of her. "Errrr... Listen for a second." They took Sally over away from Mina's hearing. "Look, we ani't normally ones too get involved in other people's affairs, but we were standing near that slut Mina... And she called you a poop eater."
Sally was shocked with what she heard. "What? She did?"
Prime continued on "Yeah, she'd said that you eat poop, and it makes your breath smell like poop, and that well... You like it."
"THAT BITCH!" Sally, shoved the 2 out of her way and headed for Mina.
"Whoa, did she really say that?" Reese asked, after Prime didn't stick with the normal plan.
"Nah I saw it on South Park."
Sally headed towards Mina, slapping her across the face "You BITCH! How dare you say I eat shit! Don't you go telling other people what you do, just because you can't get Sonic!"
"Shut up I didn't say that!" Mina slapped her back. "And besides, I will get Sonic, and it'll show everyone what a tart you are!"
"RIGHT! THAT'S IT!!!" Sally yelled at the top of her lungs. The 2 women went off face too face, hitting and kicking each other.
"Dude I hope that Mina rips off Sally's Jacket and we get too see some fucking boobs flop around man!" Reese's comment just made the 2 of the smile as they're imaginations kicked in...
6 hours later back in FUS. The 3 heroes walked down stairs after some sleep. "Boy that was good!" Pat said as she stretched her arms up...
"Yeah, long time since I slept like that." Ben added.
"Last time I slept like that, you knocked me out with one of your farts Ben!" Alison turned too see all the FUSers were in the same places they were 6 hours ago. They hadn't moved an inch. "Errrrrrrrrr... OK, thanks guys. You can do what you want now."
"Anything we want?" Chalcara asked.
"Errrrrrrrrr, that's what I said."
"So we can burn Forest?" John added.
"Sure."
"GREAT! COMEON HERE YA LITTLE BUGGA!" John and some others began too chase Forest and around the room.
"I'll let Tri and Night out of the Timeout room." Pat walked over too the room and knocked on the door. "You guys can come out now."
"Nnnnnn, Just... Give us 20 more... More MINUTES!" Tristan sounded as if he were struggling too do something, and Pat knew what it was.
"Hey, I haven't checked my Email lately, I think I will just in-case some important news has popped up." Alison walked over too her PC.
"Good thinking my little sidekick!" Ben also took a seat near the PC. After logging on too AOL, Alison checked her Email.
"OH GOD!!!" She yelled.
"What? What's wrong?" Ben asked with a worried look in his eye.
"They've released Gargoyles on DVD!!!" Alison hugged Ben with delight, then started to open the last email. "OH GOD!"
"Now what?" Ben asked "They releasing the Power Puff Girls series on DVD too?"
"NO! This email... It, it says... SEGA HAS CANCELLED ALL FUTURE SATAM DVDS!" Everyone in FUS, and or some reason, including Reese and Prime who could hear her yelling, all screamed at once, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
CHAPTER 5:
"OHMYGOD! WHAT THE SHIT ARE WE GONNA DO MAN? THIS IS LIKE... FUCK! I DUNNO WHAT!" Alison pulled out her hair in anger. NONE of the FUSers or Ben had ever seen her like this before, everyone dived for cover, some even shitting themselves from the fear of they're leader killing them.
"Dammit Alison. KEEP COOL! It'll be OK!" Ben grabbed her and shook her like a rag doll. Alison, just looked at him after he had finished... And what seemed like the first time too anyone there... She cried.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Alison is crying! Alison is crying!" Forest pointed too her and laughed his ass off. He stopped and pissed his pants when he saw that everyone else was looking at him. He went quite.
"Forest." Chalcara walked over too him. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Chalcara smacked Forest up the side of the head.
"This is... UNBELIVEABLE!" Shychick yelled at the top of her lungs. "Those ass heads will pay for this! I mean... Canning our DVD! FOR WHAT REASON?"
"I dunno Shychick! But we're going too find out!" Alison seemed too still be pissed off, but more cooler. "Because of this act... We're going too War with Sega!" She spun around too face Lena, John, Dominic and Chalcara, and she pointed too them "You guys! I want you too search the town until you find Reese and Prime!"
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr... We would... But we ani't going too." John added.
"Why the FUCK NOT!" Ben said. "This is important shit! We need all the FUSers here!"
"True... But we think they are having fun by themselves? Like I don't wanna spoil whatever fun they're having."...
Back outside the Video store, Sally and Mina continued on beat the hell out of each other. Prime and Reese just watched drooling. "Dude... This is the coolest, and sexiest thing I've ever seen!" Reese couldn't hold in the excitement in anymore, and he pulled out his camera and started taking pictures of Sally, with her ripped clothes.
"You know what man... We should help her!" Prime said as he watched Sally smash Mina's face against a wall.
"Hell yeah!" Reese pulled out a steel pipe and waited for Sally too be away from Mina. "Here Princess... Use this!" He smiled as he handed over the pipe.
"Thanks!" Sally swung the pipe directly into Mina's face, smashing her face open.
"DUDE! That rocks!" Prime yelled throwing his arms into the air, as did Reese...
Back at FUS, things were getting more tense by the second. Everyone was asking like "What are we gonna do man?" They all stopped talking when the 3 heroes walked in.
"OK, now since 'Team Lazy Jerks' can't be fucked too find Reese and Prime, will have too go on without them." Alison, now as The Nique, ordered the troops.
"First off, we must make up a battle plan of some kind too use against Sega." SatAM Man also talking too the troops, pointed too a blank blackboard. "So if anyone has an idea... Put it up here!"
John got up and started too draw up a plan. When he was finished he sat back down with a smile. "No, John... Telling Sega that we'll kill Forest if they don't give us the DVD won't stop them!" SatAM Woman pointed too the drawing, and then rubbed it off. "Anyone else?"
Chalcara got up and drew out her plan. She too sat back down after finishing it.
"The whole Idea is good Chal... But one problem... We don't have a nuke too strap too Light and Forest so that we can send them into Sega HQ too blow the shit outta them. Nice try though." Nique patted her on the back, then turned back too SatAM Man and SatAM Woman "This is gonna be tougher than I thought it would be!"
Within Sega HQ...
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! They got the email! AND NOW THEY KNOW OF OUR PLAN!!! THEY'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TOO SEND SATAM MAN TOO STOP US!!!" Sega Man was excited so much... He was finally able to do something that Archie Man hadn't done before... Piss the FUS community off so bad. "And this time! I'LL BE THE ONE WHO CLAIMS VICTORY!"
"Well now what are we gonna do sir?" Sonic AC asked as he looked at the blueprints of the plan.
"Well check out Phase 2... What does it say AC?" Sega Man watched the town, looking at the FUS building.
"It says... too... Errrrrrrrrrr, Phone up Archie Man in a crank call, take the piss out him because we've done something he hasn't, and then put the phone down a giggle like 2 schoolgirls. What the fuck?"
"Oh, well forget Phase 2, what about Phase 3?"
"That says too repeat Phase 2 again."
"Really?" Sega Man walked over to see the plans. "Well what about Phase 4?"
"That says too go TP Archie Man's place."
"OK, OK! Now Phase 5 it is!" He pointed to Phase 5. "Read that my partner in Sonic crime!"
"Oh... OH! This is MUCH better than I would have ever guessed sir!" With an evil shit eating grin on both they're faces, they laughed. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
CHAPTER 6:
This was it... Time for action! Not time for words or simple stupid threats, but ACTION! SatAM Man along with SatAM Woman and Nique had finally decided what they would do... But too share it with the other FUSers? "So what you guys think? Should we tell them?" SatAM said too his sidekicks as they huddled up.
"I'm not sure... It could hurt them bad." SatAM Woman gave her opinion.
"Yeah... I mean, sure they're all crazy and stuff, but they'll get hurt too." Nique turned too look at the FUSers "But we SHOULD tell them!"
"Right!" They all got free of the huddle and SatAM Man looked at them. "Guys with got some bad news... We... We... We have no more chocolate pudding left!"
Nothing changed in the room... Everyone still looked on. "Yeah. That's because YOU ate it all SatAM Man!" Chalcara pointed too him. "That was mine! I paid for it! And within 3 seconds of turning my back, you ate all MY pudding!"
"Well... Errrrrrrrrrrrrr... Get Nique too replace it for you!" SatAM Man pointed too Nique, who's eyes shot open as like "Why do I have too?"
"Well... Is that all your gonna say too us?" Koatix asked.
"Yep! Well I'm glad that's out of the way! Now I can get some sleep!" SatAM Man headed for the direction of his bed.
"YOU DUMBASS!" Nique pulled him back into the room. "Its not over! NOT BY A LONG SHOT!" She turned too face the FUSers. "Look guys. I understand that it was your DVD as much as mine... But the fact is... We're not taking you too the battle. This is something only me, SatAM Man and SatAM Woman can do."
"We understand." Dominic said just sighing a little.
"No use arguing with the boss." John added in.
Suddenly, loud banging could be heard within the room. "BUT I WANT TOO MAKE SEGA PAY AND TOO GET MY DVD!!! RIGHT NOW!!!" Shychick was on the floor, banging her hands and arms against the surface. She screamed her lungs out.
"Oh Shychick! Stop that!" SatAM Woman watch the girl kick and scream... Although it didn't do much good.
"NO! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WANT IT!!!" She continued too bang and scream.
"Oh screw this shit! Comeon you two... We're got too get Revenge on Sega!" SatAM Man pointed too the SatAM Poles." Quickly my sidekicks! Too the SatAM Mobile!"
As they ran, Nique looked too SatAM Woman. "SHOTGUN! I called it first! SHOTGUN!"...
Back outside the video store, things were getting better by the minute. "Yeah! YEAH! Comeon Sal! Take that bitch down!" Reese shouted too his Princess as Sally continued too beat Mina with the steel pipe. Suddenly though, Mina grabbed the pipe and took it off Sally. She slowly advanced on the Princess.
"OH SHIT!" Prime pointed too Sally. "She's screwed!"
"Quick man! Find something too use!" Reese searched for anything too give too Sally.
"Wait! I've got it!" Prime suddenly went into one of his Transformations. He ended up as a steel chair. Sally turned too see this chair. Quickly grabbing it, she swung it around, smashing it right into Mina's face, knocking out some teeth!
"Nice one dude!" Reese yelled too his buddy.
Sally dropped the chair, and Prime changed back into his normal mode. "Dude! She touched me!"
Sally continued too move towards Mina. She kicked the Mongoose in the ribs. "BITCH! I'm gonna whoop you bitch-ass so bad!"...
Inside Sega HQ, Sega Man and Sonic AC waited for the arrival of the SatAM Heroes. "Sooooooooooooo... What are we gonna do while we wait for them?" Sonic AC asked.
"I'm not sure... Maybe we should... Phone up Ken Penders again!" Sega Man rushed too the phone and dialled up the number.
Ken picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"HAHAHAHAHA! We're going to do something that you never have done! We're gonna defeat SatAM Man and The Nique!" Sega Man shouted down the phone. Then like a prank, he dropped the phone and ran off giggling.
"Awwwwwwwwwww..." Ken put the phone down and slowly walked off, crying too himself.
Outside Sega HQ... "You a cheater Nique!" SatAM Woman pointed at the other sidekick of the team.
"NO I'M NOT!" Nique yelled at her as she got out of the passenger seat.
"Yeah you are! You tripped me up! So that you could get the front seat."
"All right maybe I did! BUT I called Shotgun!"
"Sidekicks, sidekicks, please! There is a time and a place for arguing... And it's called FUS! Save it for home... Because right now... We have some Revenge too gain! Now lets do it too it!" All 3 of them ran for the building. "You all remember what too do?"
"Well you didn't tell us jack shit! So my guess is that we'll do what we normally do. Go in, get captured, break free, and save SatAM for another day!" Nique said as she too ran.
"Good going my little sidekick!" They got too the door, SatAM Man kicked it open and ran in. They saw Sega Man just standing there, with a smile on his face. "STOP WHERE YOU ARE SEGA MAN!!! GIVE THE ORDER TOO RELEASE THE SECOND SATAM DVD!!!"
Or we'll get madder than we already are!" Nique shook her fist at him. Sega Man just laughed at them.
"What is it?" SatAM Man asked. "Is my zipper undone?" He checked to see if it was.
Without warning. The 3 heroes fell too the floor. From behind them, Sonic AC had fired a net onto them. As Nique said, they were going to get captured. "Well... Here you go SatAM Man. We've gone in and gotten ourselves captured... Like always. YOU HAPPY?"
CHAPTER 7:
"Well... This is just fucking great!" Nique sat in the corner of the room waiting what was going too happen too her aswell as SatAM Man and SatAM Woman. "So now what SatAM Man. Your the leader here."
"What the hell do you want me too do?" He asked.
"Oh, I dunno." SatAM Woman said as she walked towards SatAM Man. "How about... GET US THE FUCK OUTTA THIS CELL! HOWS THAT?"
"OW!" SatAM Man held his ears. "OK... I would do that... But the thing is... I have my sidekicks too do all the thinking and the fighting." He turned too Nique and pointed at her. "So YOU think of a way out of here!"
"Just like fucking always!" She said back too him. "Ya know SatAM Man. I'm REALLY getting..." Before she could finish off, the screen within the cell lit up, and showed Sega Man.
"Welcome back SatAM Man and Nique... OH I see you brought a guest! Who is she?"
"I'm the one whose gonna stuff a stick of TNT up your ass and light that fucker if you don't release the SatAM DVD!" SatAM Woman said, looking at the screen with hate in her eyes!
"Hahahahahahaha! I'm so scared!" Sega Man was pretending... They could see that.
"You should be!" Nique said back, shacking her fist as always. "When we get out of here, we're gonna totally fuck you up beyond... beyond... SOMETHING!"
"Like I said Nique... I'm so scared!" He continued too laugh at them.
"I'm scared!" Said Sonic AC as he came into view. After all the things he had heard of what SatAM Man and Nique had done too Archie Man AND they're first encounter with Sega Man, he was kinda getting freaked out.
"AC! Get the fuck outta the shot!" Sega Man tried too shoved his sidekick of the heroes vision.
"YOU!" Nique pointed too Sonic AC. "Your the newbie! What the FUCK are you doing with that piece of rectum droppings?"
"His my bitch now Nique!" Sega Man pointed too her "After the way your FUSers treated him, I decided too take him under my wing. Now he will know the power of SEGASONIC! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"...
Back at FUS, John, Chalcara, and Cionex (Don't asked how he got here... I Want too use the guy) had finished up something they had been drawing on since the heroes had left.
"Alright guys, listen up!" John shouted too make sure everyone was paying attention. "Now... Us 3 have figured out that in case Ben Alison and Pat ani't coming back. We're gonna follow on in they're footsteps and make those Sega cunts pay!"
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