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"The Adventures Of SatAM Man and The Nique" is © Sonicus Prime. Sonic The Hedgehog and other related characters are © Sega, DiC and Archie. Ben Hurst, Ken Penders, Alison Scharlemann, J.F. Gabrie, Pat Allee and all the FUSers are real people, but the events in this story haven't taken place in any real life events. If you don’t like this stuff, I personally couldn’t give a fuck. Anyone caught stealing my stuff will make me very upset and extremely pissed off. If you wish too put this on your site, please Email me first so I can decide if you can. Email address is [email protected] .
The Adventures of SatAM Man and The Nique 5: Opposites Attack
Written by: Sonicus Prime
CHAPTER 1:
"DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" Archie Man paced around the room. He was pissed off. He turned too look at J.F. Man "What are we gonna do about SatAM Man and Nique huh?" He grabbed J.F. Man and pulled the guy closer to him, "Cause I'm running out of ideas on how too stop them!"
"Errrrrrrrr, we could... no wait. How about we... No, that won't work." J.F. Man scratched his head.
"COMEON MAN! I want too know this plan before I shit myself."
"WAIT I HAVE IT! What is the one main thing that SatAM fans hate?" J.F. Man looked pleased with this plan he had.
"Errrrrrr... Us!"
"Err OK, the second thing they hate!"
"Archie?"
"Alright, the third thing they hate."
Archie Man gasped, "You... Don't mean?"
"Yes... yes I do!" Both Archie and J.F. Man smiled and then followed the evil laugh, "BWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA"...
Back at FUS Headquarters...
"Well, it's a good thing that we've finally had a brake from fighting the evil against SatAM. A weeks gone by and Archie Man and Sega Man haven't done a single thing!" Ben Hurst sat down watching the TV; he looked bored since he hadn't had anyone too beat up...
"Well maybe Archie Man learnt his lesson, and I guess the paramedics are still trying too get that Arcade outta Sega Man's ass." Nique too sat down, but she was glad too not fight anyone. She looked up and a loud bang happened upstairs above her.
"What they up too this time?" Ben asked her...
"Dunno. Maybe they..." Before Alison could finish, the ceiling gave away, John, Reese, Prime, Chief, Tails, and Wildfire fell too the floor on top of Forest. "WHAT THE FUCK? GUYS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Playing a 7 on 1 wrestling match. Forest lost." John said as he and the others got off Forest who was laying there in a beaten state.
"Well there’s you Answer Ben!" Alison said as she looked at the big hole in the ceiling. Chalcara, Nightweaver, and Tristan were looking down it, they giggled. Suddenly the SatAM Phone rang, so Ben got up too answer it...
"Hello? Yes... Really?...Yes... Err no. OK then, we'll be there!" He slammed the phone down and turned too Alison "Alison, we've got trouble!"
"What is it?" She asked, "Someone blocked up the toilet?"
"Errrrrr I don't think so."
"Alright, I did it!" Prime admitted it, "But Err... It was Dominic's fault! He gave a shit load of laxatives, told me they were chocolates!" Dominic's eyes widened! Prime was lying.
"Never mind that now Prime! Look Alison, Archie have released a issue were they've killed Sally... Again. We've gotta burn all the issues!"
"SHIT! Your right for once Ben! We've gotta stop them! We'll need back up!"
"I'm on it!" Ben grabbed the phone "Pat? Look we need help, there's another issue from Archie were they've killed Sally... Again, that's been released! We'll pick you up in 5 minutes!" Ben turned back too Alison "Quick Alison! To the SatAM Cave!" The 2 headed towards the poles.
In the Cave, SatAM Man and Nique ran towards the SatAM Mobile "Right all we gotta do get SatAM Woman, get too the comic store and burn all the issues!" The jumped into the SatAM Mobile "Ooops, I forgot the keys. Be right back." SatAM Man ran upstairs too get the keys. After 4 minutes he came back down, "Got 'em. Let's roll!"...
They came back too FUS HQ, they slammed the door closed rather pissed off "Dammit, the mayor lied too us!" SatAM Woman kicked the wall.
"YEAH! All it had in it was the same old shit." Nique looked around "Huh? Where is everyone? And why isn't the place on fire, or at least some new holes in the walls?
"I dunno Nique. Maybe there was a sale on explosives or something." SatAM Man sat down, but noticed a note on the table. He grabbed it. "Hey look at this." Nique took it off him
"If you ever want too see the FUSers again, then meet me at Archie HQ! And no funny shit! Signed Archie Man BWHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" Nique looked at the note with wide eyes, "Archie Man kidnap the FUSers!"...
CHAPTER 2:
"Holy fucking shit!" Nique ran around crazy "I can't believe it! My army of FUSers, captured by that cunt-flap Archie Man!" Nique looked at the note...
"Yeah what a shame. It's a tragic loss Nique. But we can always get more of them." SatAM Man just watched the TV.
"THIS IS SERIOUS SATAM MAN!" Nique looked at her boss "We have too save them!
"No we don't Nique"
"Nique is right SatAM Man." SatAM Woman looked at him "If we don't have the FUSers, we have no SatAM fans what so ever!"
Suddenly, SatAM Man had realised what SatAM Woman had said was... true! "My god your right!" He got up from his seat "We have too do something!"
"YEAH!" both Nique and SatAM Woman yelled together.
"We have too save the FUSers!"
"YEAH!"
But first! I gotta eat something!"
"YEA... Wait what?"
SatAM Man ran off into the kitchen "Yeah! Hey comeon, I ani't going to fight Archie Man on an empty stomach! I need a 'Ben Hurst's gonna eat this and then get sent too E.R gut pounder Sandwich'!"
All the 2 ladies could do was look at each other in shock. "Oh.... crap."
In Archie HQ...
"Nice going Nightweaver you fucking gimp!" Dominic smacked Night over the head in anger as the others agreed.
"Hey look man, how was I meant too know that the 2 girl scouts that were selling cookies were really Archie Man and J.F. Man in disguise?" Night argued back.
"You only let them in so you could have sex with them!" Chalcara yelled back too him. The FUSers were locked into a pretty crappy cell in the corner on the building. Archie and J.F. Man walked by them.
"You fucking tarts!" John tried too grab them, "When I get outta here, I'm gonna fuck you 2 fags up so bad that you'll be shitting outta your ears and talking outta ya assholes!!!"
"SILENCE YOU AUSSIE PUNK!" Archie Man pointed too John and he laughed. "Soon your stupid friends SatAM Man and Nique will be destroyed and then so will you! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!"
"Oh yeah? What you gonna do? Flick rubber bands at them? Throw paint at them?" Prime asked.
Archie Man looked at J.F. Man "Errrrrrrr... Is that what we were gonna do too them?"
"Basically yeah."
"Crap! Ok, we'll think of something else then! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"If it involves anything too do with you trying too kill Sally... You've already done it." Tristan reminded him.
"Oh yeah... FUCK!"
"Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd if it involves Roboticising Lupe too." Wildfire added.
"Double fuck!"...
Back at FUS, SatAM Man didn't look too good "Owwwwwwwww, my crap factory is fucking up!" He ran into the toilet.
"We told you not too eat that sandwich!" SatAM Woman yelled from the outside of the toilet.
"But Noooooo, you had too eat another 3 of them!" Nique said too him too.
Loud splashes could be heard from the inside. "Goddamn fish! I knew it was passed its sell by date!" More sounds of puke landing in the toilet could be heard.
Nique and SatAM Woman just looked at each other. "Wanna watch a video while we wait?" Nique asked
"Good idea, what you got?"
"Dunno, whatever’s in the VCR"...
CHAPTER 3:
SatAM Woman and Nique just sat down too watch whatever was in the VCR; Nique took the remote and pressed the 'Play' button. "Oh cool the guys were watching Gargoyles!" A warm smile went across her face, "This is that episode "High Noon", and it’s one of my favourites!" She hadn't seen the episode for quite a while. But suddenly about half way into it, the screen went fuzzy!
"Huh? What’s going on Nique?" SatAM Woman asked.
"I dunno!"
Then some appeared on the screen, "Stay tuned as Man and Beast meet on the roads of America! This is Road Kill! Caught on Tape!" Nique and SatAM Woman watched in horror as cars, and trucks hit little creatures! Even at one point a tank hit a cow!
"Oh my fucking god! The FUSers watch this shit?" SatAM Woman was sickened by the images.
"Yeah! They do! BUT THOSE ASSHOLES TAPED OVER GARGOYLES!!! I'LL KILL THEM!" Nique pressed the stop button, but nothing happened. "Huh? Oh no! The batteries are dead!"
"QUICK, TURN IT OFF!" SatAM Woman threw up at seeing a Hedgehog getting hit by a car.
SatAM Man walked into the room doing he's zipper up. "Hehe that’s better." He turned too the TV, "Oh fuck yeah! Road Kill Caught On Tape! I didn't see it last time it was on!" He ran over too the couch and began too watch it. Nique jumped for the power cable and pulled it out, causing the VCR too shut down. "Awwwwwwwwww I wanted too see some Road Kill!"
"Shut it SatAM Man!" SatAM Woman whacked him over the head. "We've got a job too do! We have too rescue the FUSers!"
"YEAH!" Nique yelled throwing her fist in the air. "I afterwards, I'll kill them for taping over High Noon!"...
Inside Archie HQ...
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! I've got the FUSers! I've got the FUSers and there’s nothing you all can do too stop my latest and evilest plan!" Archie Man was shacking his ass in front of the FUSers in an attempt too piss them off.
"Yeah, whatever you fat bitch." Prime said as he played cards with Reese and Dominic.
"Huh? What did you say?"
"I said "Yeah, whatever you fat bitch." You deaf dickweed!"
"Oh... That's what I thought you said." Archie Man just went quite.
"Yeah well after we're finished with you and your stupid fat headed friends SatAM Man and Nique, we'll be able too destroy what SatAM means too you."
"And on that day, Satan will be Ice skating too work, you losers." Tristan said as he picked his nose. It was no use, the FUSers didn't give a shit what Archie Man and J.F. Man said anymore.
"Well you'll care when we show you are latest plan!" Archie Man pointed too a huge machine that was covered up. "And when we use it, it'll be a certain evil. An evil that is certainly.... EVIL! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"...
The SatAM Team arrived outside Archie HQ. "OK, now remember what Archie Man said you guys. We're not to try anything smart or something bad will happen too them!" Nique said too remind the other 2 heroes.
"But don't you want them dead for taping over Gargoyles?" SatAM Woman asked confused.
"Well yeah, but I want too kill them myself for that stunt!" All 3 heroes slowly walked up to the building. Then they got too the doors and SatAM Man opened them, they slowly walked in.
"Hello? Hellllllllllllo?" SatAM Man looked around "Oh what a shame, they're not here, let's go!" He began too walk out when SatAM Woman stopped him...
"No SatAM Man, we have to do this!"
"OK Archie Man, we're here! Now let the FUSers go!" Nique stood there all angry and pissed off. Suddenly, taking the 3 heroes by surprise, a huge net was dropped on top of them!
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! I knew you'd come! Now I'll destroy you! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!" Archie Man stepped out of the shadows, then followed by J.F. Man who walked over too the hidden machine.
"Where are the FUSers you fucking ring sausage?" Nique yelled at him.
"Over there! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!" He pointed too the cage, showing the relaxed FUSers.
"Hey boss." Airborn waved too the heroes.
"About fucking time! What took you guys so fucking long?" Nightweaver asked them.
"Well SatAM Man had too eat one of his "Gonna eat this and then get sent too E.R stomach pounder sandwich", well not really one, more like 4!" SatAM Woman looked over too SatAM Man who let out a huge burp
"Awwwwwwwww, I missed out on the Stomach Pounder!" John said all sad.
"Now that your here... I shall... KILL YOU ALL! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!" Archie Man turned to J.F. Man who pulled the cover off the machine, "J.F! Power up the thingy that does something bad and its too hard too explain so we'll call it the..."
"Piece of crap machine that looks like it was built by a pair of retards?" Dominic called out.
"Yes the "Piece of crap that looks like it was built by a pair of retards" will do. POWER IT UP!"
J.F. Man jumped onto the treadmill and started too run. Slowly the machine began too power up. Suddenly, a weird portal opened up in front of them all! And some figures started too step through the weird entrance too another dimension!
"BEHOLD! Yourselves from another dimension! This is... SU Man! Soniaque! SU Woman! And 'The Undergrounders'! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!"
All the FUSers and the 3 heroes looked on in horror at the alternate versions of themselves! "Holy fucking shit! It's all us! But we're Sonic Underground fans!!!" Nique yelled in shock!
CHAPTER 4 A: The SatAM Team and FUSers point of view
"I can't fucking believe it!" Those were the only words that escaped SatAM Man's mouth as he and the others looked on at the Alternate versions of themselves.
"FUCK THIS SHIT!!!" Shychick yelled as she lifted the cage off the ground, she started too run towards the SatAM Team, then followed by the other FUSers.
"Huh? You mean you could of freed yourselves? JUST by lifting that cage off the ground?" Nique pointed too them.
"Errrrrrr.... Yeah. BUT it was the only way to escape from that scary situation! I mean look! IT'S US!" Tristan said as he pointed too the SU Team and the Undergrounders. All in all, they looked liked them in everyway, just with differences.
"I hear ya. I'm so scared that I just shitted in my underpants!" Nightweaver spoke. The others started too slowly step away from him, holding they're noses.
"Soooooooo, can anyone explain this all too me?" John asked.
"Yeah. How easy do you want it?" Dominic said.
"Errrrrrrrr... So Reese can understand it." Prime pointed too the stoner.
"Oh dear." Dom had too think for a while "OK. Right these guys are from an Alternate Universe where they love Sonic Underground, but HATE SatAM right?" All the others nodded "So basically, they must love stuff that we hate, and hate stuff we love, as well as some other stuff that COULD be different. I guess that they're from a Universe that is the same too ours, just that the love SU and maybe so other stuff."
"Soooooooo, instead of loving Demona, my Alternate version loves.... Angela?" Nique said as she looked at Soniaque.
"She might."
"Damn, she needs too get some fucking taste!"
"And that my version could love something as mind bendingly crap, as... Blake 7 and not Doctor Who?" Prime asked Dom.
"Possibly."
"Does that mean my version could be a complete pussy?" John asked.
"He very well might!"
"Oh fuck yeah! John's gotta be kicking some ass tonight!" John slammed he's fist together with a huge grin on he's face!
"Well maybe they won't be that bad." SatAM Woman said as she looked at the SU Team and the Undergrounders.
CHAPTER 4 B: The SU Team and Undergrounders point of view
"I can't fucking believe it!" Those were the only words that escaped SU Man' mouth as he and the others looked on at the Alternate versions of themselves.
"I know! This is some scary shit! I mean, look! IT'S US!!!" Tristan said as she pointed too the SatAM Team and the FUSers. All in all, they looked the same in everyway, just with differences.
"I hear ya. I'm so scared that I just pissed in my knickers!" Dayweaver spoke. The others started too slowly step away from him, holding they're noses.
"Soooooooo, can anyone explain this all too me?" Robert asked.
"Errrrrrrrr... So Hicks can understand it." Manicus Prime pointed too the stoner.
"Oh dear." Dom had too think for a while "OK. Right these guys are from an Alternate Universe where they love SatAM, but HATE Sonic Underground right?" All the others nodded "So basically, they must love stuff that we hate, and hate stuff we love, as well as some other stuff that COULD be different. I guess that they're from a Universe that is the same too ours, just that they love SatAM and maybe so other stuff."
"Soooooooo, instead of loving Angela, my Alternate version loves.... Demona?" Soniaque said as she looked at Nique.
"She might."
"Damn, she needs too get some fucking taste!"
"And that my version could love something as mind bendingly crap, as... Doctor Who and not Blake 7?" Manicus Prime asked Dom.
"Possibly."
"Does that mean my version could be a complete nut case?" Robert asked.
"He very well might!"
"Oh fuck No! Robert's gotta get his ass kicked tonight!" Robert cowered behind Hicks with a sacred look on he's face!
"Well maybe they won't be that bad." SU Woman said as she looked at the SatAM Team and the FUSers.
CHAPTER 5:
Both the sides looked at each other, all the SatAM guys and the SU guys just looked at each other with nothing happening. So they didn't notice that Archie Man and J.F. Man slowly walked out of the room, possibly going too do another of they're stupid plans.
"You think they're looking at us?" SatAM Man said as he looked on at SU Man.
Nique rolled her eyes back "No, they're really looking at the evil killer Penguins that just killed everyone in Happy land and are now about too kill us!"
"Alright then." SatAM Man continued too stare at SU Man.
"You think they're looking at us?" SU Man said as he looked on at SatAM Man.
Soniaque rolled her eyes back "No, they're really looking at the nice lovely Penguins that just went to visit all the people in Maniac land and are now about too talk too us!"
"Alright then." SU Man continued too stares at SatAM Man.
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Soooooooon the SU Team and the SatAM Team will destroy each other! BWHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Archie Man was so happy, that he could see Ben Hurst and the others kill each other personally!
"Well they better!!!" A voice from the shadows could be heard as Archie Man and J.F. Man looked around too face the darkened corner.
"It will work. Trust us, we know what we're up too and you should know that!" J.F. Man said as he pointed too the corner.
"That's what we're worried about!"...
The 2 groups continued too stare at each other. Yet nothing happened what so ever!
"Hey, like could one of us do something about this? I mean like Bubblegum Crisis will be on later today and I ani't missing it!" Sonicus Prime said too the others as he looked at he's watch.
"Alright Prime! Listen of the count of 3, will run in for the attack. We can't have these guys here! This world belongs too SatAM!" SatAM Man said.
"Alright, as the boss said, we run in for the attack! Unless anyone else disagrees, raise you hand!" Nique looked as everyone put up they're hands too not do SatAM Man's plan as he's plans normally ended up going wrong, but they soon put they're hands down because they knew they'd go along with it.
"Alrighty then! Remember! On 3! 1..."
"Hey, like could one of us do something about this? I mean like Bubblegum Crash will be on later today and I ani't missing it!" Manicus Prime said too the others as he looked at he's watch.
"Alright Prime! Listen of the count of 3, will run in for the attack. We can't have these guys beat us and go too our Universe! Our world belongs too SU!" SU Man said.
"Alright, as the boss said, we run in for the attack! Unless anyone else disagrees, raise your hand!" Soniaque looked as everyone put up they're hands too not do SU Man's plan as he's plans normally ended up going wrong, but they soon put they're hands down because they knew they'd go along with it.
"Alrighty then! Remember! On 3! 1..."
"2..." SatAM Man tightened his fists, just as Nightweaver came out of the toilet, having changed he's underpants...
"2..." SU Man tightened his fists, just as Dayweaver came out of the toilet, having changed he's knickers...
"3!!!" SatAM Man yelled as he and the others charged at the SU Team when...
"3!!!" SU Man yelled as he and the others charged at the SatAM Team when...
Suddenly, at huge net dropped on all the SatAM guys and the SU guys! They were trapped... again.
"Huh? Oh fuck fuckty fuck fuck FUCK! We all forgot about Archie Man!" Nique said.
"Yeah, you... I mean, I said it!" Soniaque looked on at Archie Man.
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Finally, I have you all where I want you! But instead of you all fighting in the same old way." Archie Man pointed too the darkened shadows.
"We will put you all into a room each with your Alternate self, so you can beat yourselves... TO DEATH!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" The darkened figure revealed it's self.
"DEAR GOD! It's my oldest and most retarded enemy! Archie Woman!!!" SU Man looked on in horror!
"Oh shit. This ISN'T good!" Those were the only words that SatAM Man could think of...
CHAPTER 6:
All of the FUSers were thrown into a room each with they're Undergrounder counterpart. They just mainly looked at each other, but some were most scared than the other. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! Soon I'll be rid of those pesky SatAM fools!" Archie Man was so excited, that he wet his pants.
"And I'll be rid of those stupid SU prats!" Archie Woman looked on into a monitor that showed SatAM Man and SU Man fighting each other.
Inside room #1, Rudeguy faced his counterpart, Politeguy. The two looked at each other. "Hello there." Politeguy waved too Rudeguy.
"Dude, shut up! Damn you suck big floppy donkey dick!" Rude looked on as he flipped off Polite.
"Well I never!" Polite turned away.
"Yeah? Well I bet you've never had it off with a woman have ya?" said Rudeguy as a laugh followed.
"I getting rather annoyed with you Mr!"
"Awwwwww fuck you buddy! Boo-hoo, you're getting annoyed! Yeah well you've got a tadpole cock!" Suddenly, with out Rudeguy knowing, Politeguy jumped at him as he screamed like a girl and throwing his arms around like a sissy...
Locked inside room #2 was John Roberts, he looked at Robert Johnson with the sort of smile that meant that one of them was going too get the shit kicked out of them. "Errrrrrrrrrr hi." Robert said calm, better too say it smooth than demanding and get beaten up...
"Shut it you fucking Kangaroo spunk stain!" John pointed as he yelled at Robert, making the guy shit in his pants.
"All I said was "hi"!" Robert started too backed off.
"Oh you've gone and said it now mate!" John started heading towards Robert's way, cracking his knuckles with delight.
Robert spun around too run for it "Huh? Oh shit!" He examined the room only too see with was round, "There’s no corners too hide in!" He tuned too face John, then soon followed a girlish scream...
Trapped inside room #3, Scott Kyle Reese looked at his alternate version Scott Dwayne Hicks. The 2 of them just stared on like a couple of stoned hippies. "You wanna get high?" Reese pulled out his favourite... well only bong.
"Sure." Hicks took the bong and filled it up. 4 minutes passed by and the two of them were higher than Jay and Silent Bob.
"Dammmmmmmn man, we are Soooooo fucking wasted." Reese looked at the ceiling, as if something was interesting about it.
"I hear that shit son."...
Inside room #4, Tristan and his female version looked on at each other. "Soooooo... you ever wanted too have sex with yourself?" The male Tristan said as he looked at the thin skinny and sexy female version.
"I guess. And in a way, it won't be cheating on Soniaque or Dayweaver." The female Tristan said as she looked at the tubby male version.
"So you wanna just do it on the floor or on the table?"
"Whatever... As long as I get too be on top."...
Within room #5, Sonicus Prime sat in the corner as he looked at Manicus Prime. "So you a Decepticon huh?" Sonicus said.
"Yep, and your an Autobot?" Manicus replied back.
"You got it. So you like SU? It was OK and Manic was cool... But wasn't SatAM in my opinion. Don't tell the others I like it or they'll most likely laugh at me!" Sonicus said rather worried.
"OK... Well as far as I know, I'm the only one who likes SatAM and Sally where I come from. Don't tell my bunch, and I won't tell your bunch." Manicus held out a hand for Sonicus too shake so they could close the deal.
"Deal!" Sonicus pulled out a can of Pepsi. "Pepsi?" He offered the can too Manicus.
"Ew no way! Pepsi is fucking nasty shit!" Manicus didn't take the can.
"Wha... You... Don't... Like... Pepsi?" Suddenly without warning Sonicus jumped at Manicus grabbing his neck "EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING PEPSI HATING TURD WHO LOVES POONTANG!"...
Within room #6, Chalcara and Carchala looked at each other’s work. "OK so I'm a SatAM fan and everything, but SU was good. See I even made a comic called SU2 which mixed SU with SegaSonic and a little SatAM by having Sally in it." Chalcara showed her comic too her counterpart.
"Hey, I did the same kinda thing where I'm from... I did a comic called SatAM2 which mixed SatAM with SegaSonic with a little SU by having Manic in it!" Carchala pulled out the first issue of SatAM2.
"Hey shit, your right!" Chalcara started too read SatAM2 as Carchala read SU2...
Inside room #7 Forest looked up at his giant big huge counterpart Park. "Errrrrrrrrr hi." Forest waved at the huge tower of a man.
"Hey there little guy." Park looked at the tiny peanut that most likely came from a piece of shit. "What’s it like for you in your place?"
"Bad, all the FUSers pick on me cause I act a moron."
"That blows, where I come from, I pick on the Undergrounders for the same reason."
"Uhhhhhhh-huh." Forest didn't understand, but for him that was normal. His mind was thinking of something else, possibly of fluffy kittens...
Something was different in room #8 too the others, cause Team Archie had fucked up. They had placed Dominic in the room with Dominant Ali. The 2 just looked at each other as they both went red. Neither said a word, just looked at each other. Finally, Dominic said something "You look... really, really hot." Dominic raised his eyebrows.
"Hey thanks... You don't look too bad yourself" Dominant Ali winked at Dominic, which made him blush.
"You look just like the Ali from here... except she just beats me with her stupid Snively magazines... She doesn't even know I exist."
"Hey, you know, you’re like the same with me. Donimic from my place beats me over the head with his Sonia magazines. Same thing with you, he doesn't even know I like him."
Without another word, the 2 walked over too each other and started too kiss like a couple of maniacs...
And in room #9 Mistress Ali was locked in a room with Donimic. She read her Snively magazine while Donimic read his Sonia magazine. Ali peered over too Donimic, as he looked back, she whacked him over the face with her magazine, and then she got one over the head from him. The 2 of them continued beating each other with they're magazines...
inside room #10, all of the SatAM Heroes were trapped with they're SU counterparts. As SatAM Man fought with SU Man and Nique fought with Soniaque, SatAM Woman and SU Woman just watched on. "Stupid isn't it? They've been fighting since they got in here, but we could all break out if we worked together." SatAM Woman watched as the others kicked the poopie nuggets out of each other.
"I know. They've going at this now for... Just coming up 5 hours now." SU Woman checked her watch "Yep, almost 5 hours."
SatAM Man fell too the floor from having SU Man punched him in the face. "That was for me having too write that crap pile SatAM where I come from!"
SatAM Man dived at SU Man taking him down "Oh yeah? Well take this!" SatAM Man threw his knee into SU Man's balls. "That's for me having too write SU here! GODDAMN YOU DiC!" SU Man pulled out a copy of the SU DVD and whacked SatAM Man over the head with it...
"YOU SLUT!" Nique punched Soniaque in the face with anger, "Get some fucking taste bitch! Demona is soooooooooo much better than that whore Angela!"
"Oh yeah?" Soniaque kicked Nique in the gut, sending her too the ground. "Well you're gonna fucking die for saying that! If only Angela was here she'd fucking fuck you up... But I'll have too do that!"...
Back inside the control room, both of the Team Archie groups watched on "Welllllllllll OK, so they're all not killing each other. BUT most of them are." Archie Man watched the monitors as the FUSers and Undergrounders did they're stuff.
"But now we can start phase 3 of the plan that’s so evil that we can't say it's proper name so we'll call it 'Operation: Nasty Plan'!" J.F. Man rubbed his hands together...
"Yes, now with both Team SatAM and Team SU and they're stupid followers killing each other, finally we can have Archie as the "Ultimate Sonic Universe" in both this Universe and our Universe!" J.F. Woman said...
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
CHAPTER 7:
The SatAM Heroes battled on continuously with they're SU counterparts, only SatAM Woman and SU Woman watched on. "I wonder IF they'll try too get alone like us?" SU Woman asked SatAM Woman, looking at her.
"I dunno. Maybe if we tell them this." SatAM Woman leaned over and whispered something into SU Woman's ear. It was odd that these 2 were getting along.
SatAM Man grabbed a near by steel pole, whacking SU Man in the face, knocking a few teeth out, while Soniaque grabbed a chair and tried too beat Nique over the head, but just missing her.
"Hey, hey, hey. Comeon man... Lets just have a rest for like 10 minutes." SU Man said putting his hand up as he laid on the floor.
"Yeah your right." SatAM Man dropped too the floor, he looked at the sweat on him. "Sweet Jebus, look at me. Looks like I've been masturbating for almost a week."
"Yeah well you have haven't ya?" Nique said as she and Soniaque took a break aswell.
"Well yeah, but the fucking writer has been taking ages too put this chapter up!" He said as he looked at the writer.
"Well now that you lot have finished fighting, MAYBE we can try too get out of here?" SU Woman said looking at them.
"Nah, no time for that, we'll start fucking each other up again after a quick break!" Nique yelled happy as she threw her fist in the air.
"YEAH!" Soniaque agreed with her counterpart.
"What would you rather do? Beat the crap outta each other, or beat the shit out of Archie Man, and Archie Woman?" SU Woman asked them.
Nique suddenly knew what they had too do. "My god your right!"
"Yeah, we'll just beat the shit outta each other!" SatAM Man said as his counterpart agreed with him.
"NO! We'll beat up stink nuggets out of the Archie minge munchers!" Soniaque whacked her boss over the head.
"Alright, alright! We'll beat the Archie team up!" He said, then under his breath he said "Then we'll beat the rectum chunks out of each other again".
"But first we must free our companions!" SatAM Man said as he pointed in the air.
"Great fucking idea but there's a problem." SatAM Woman said.
"We gotta get the locked door open!" Said SU Woman, but without them getting too the door, it was smashed down as Robert flew through it in a mess. John then stepped inside the room.
"Now what was that you said about me?" John cracked his knuckles as he smiled. Robert just laid there as he groaned in pain. "Oh dear, you said it again!" John slowly started too make his way towards Robert as the SU and SatAM leaders stopped him.
SatAM Man placed his hand on John's shoulder "Good going my Aussie sidekick! Thanks too you we're free! Now we must save the others from each other... or something like that!"
"No problem mate! But as a reward... Can I beat the Kangaroo spunk out of this cunt later after we're finished?" John asked.
"Sure you can! Now quickly everyone... Too rescue the others!" All the others ran out of the door as Robert was dragged outside by SU Man...
The Archie Team watched as the SU and SatAM teams were getting along as the left the room. They're eyes were wide with fright. "Oh FUCK!" Archie Man did a shit in his pants. He then turned too Archie Woman "Quick! Think of a plan Woman!!!"
"What the fuck do you mean? I can't think of a fucking plan! I'm just a female version of you, I can't even think of a simple thing too do, you fucking meatball sandwich twat!!!"
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