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"The Adventures Of SatAM Man and The Nique" is © Sonicus Prime. Sonic The Hedgehog and other related characters are © Sega, DiC and Archie. Demona is © Disney. Ben Hurst, Ken Penders, J.F. Gabrie, Pat Allee, Alison Scharlemann and all the FUSers are real people, but the events in this story haven't taken place in any real life events. Demona is © Disney. If you don’t like my stories, then suck my cock! If you like them, then you’ve just kissed my ass! Anyone caught stealing my stuff will make me very upset and extremely pissed off. If you wish too put this on your site, please Email me first so I can decide if you can. Email address is [email protected] .
The Adventures Of SatAM Man and The Nique 2: Archie Man Strikes Back
Written by: Sonicus Prime
CHAPTER 1:
Within the dark walls of Archie HQ...
"Darn those fools SatAM Man and The Nique! They shall pay for doing this to me!" Archie Man began walking around, still naked, and the SatAM crew where still in their little cage. "I shall have to think of an even better plot to stop them! Hmmmmmmmmm..." Archie Man spent a good few hours thinking when "AHA! I've got it! Errrrrrrrrr, no wait that’s not it... BLAST! WAIT! I have it! And this time no one can stop me! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" He pointed to the SatAM crew "And it involves you all too!"
The crew just looked on at the evil villain with nothing much to do. Sally looked on at Sonic, "You figured a way outta this one?"
"Errrrrrrrrrrrr... Yeah! But first off... I need the key to the cage!" He responded back to her.
"We don't have the key ya idiot!" Bunnie shouted to him, as Tails smacked him over the head.
"Well that's that plan fucked then." He quietly spoke to himself"
Back at FUS, the FUSers along with Alison and Ben were into the 46th Hour of the "Who Can Get the Rubber Band In The Paper Cup?" Contest. Most of the FUSers had fallen asleep, and Ben was slowly falling asleep, he was thinking "Dear god... PLEASE let me die before this is over!"
"OK OK! This is the bit where I kick Dominic's ass to next month!" Tristan pointed to the screen, as the video showed him flicking the band into the cup... "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! I AM THE ULTIMATE MALE!" His shouting caused most of the FUSers to wake up, and Tristan threw his arms into the air.
The phone rang, and Chief got up to pick it up. Prime looking at him said "If that's the rent guy, tell him to fuck off! We'll have the cash by next week, we promise."
Chief grabbed the hand set, "Hello?" a high pitched voice came from the other end, Chief replied "Errrrrrrr hold on..." He turned to the others "It's some chick named Pat Allee asking for Ben. You in Ben?"
"Tell her to call back later! We're almost into the good bit here!" Tristan spoke pointing to the screen.
"THANK YOU GOD!" Ben prayed in his mind. "No, I'll take it now!" He took the phone off of Chief "Hey Pat! Been a while hasn’t it?" Ben was pleased to hear from his old friend and writing partner again. "What can I do for you? Really? Really? REALLY!?!?! We'll be right there!" He slammed the phone down "Alison! We need to go and do... errrrrrrrr, some stuff!"
Alison got up and walked out of the room with Ben, "What's the problem Ben?" She asked him.
"That was Pat, and she's in trouble! We need to help her! Quickly Alison... To the SatAM Poles!" The both of them ran towards their poles to head to the SatAM cave. Before heading down the poles, John poked his head out of the door.
"Bring back some food dammit before we bloody starve to death and we have to eat Forest!" He yelled.
"And some Pepsi!" Prime also yelled from within the room.
"And some weed too" Reese still stoned managed to yell.
"And hurry the hell up! The pause on the VCR only lasts 10 minutes!" Tristan yelled to them..
The two heroes headed into the SatAM cave, Nique had changed into her costume, but Ben was only in his underwear.
"Huh? Where the fuck is your costume Ben?" She said kinda shocked pointing to him.
"I put it in the washing machine, don't worry, it'll be about..." Ben looked at his watch, "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, an hour before it's finish!" Nique slapped her head rolling her eyes back into her skull...
An hour had pasted, Ben was waiting by the washing machine while Nique was asleep in the SatAM Chair... A tiny little *ping* could be heard meaning that the washing machine was finished "Excellent!" He threw the door open, and suddenly his jaw hung open, "Ohhhhhhhh FUCK!" He yelled making Nique wake up...
"Huh? What is it? Has Archie finally killed Mina off?" She said replying back to Ben rubbing her eyes.
"NO!" He yelled back.
"Then what is it?" She said rather worried.
"MY COSTUMES FUCKING SHRUNK!" He looked on wide-eyed pulling the tiny costume out, "AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE I HAVE THAT FITS!!!"
CHAPTER 2:
Nique tired not to shit herself from laughter, while Ben tried to put the tiny costume on, but not succeeding much. "It's not gonna fit Ben." but Ben tried to prove her wrong.
"Yes it will!" He tired to pull the suit on when suddenly a ripping sound could be heard, and Ben's eyes went wide.
"Holy craptstic crapcakes Ben, you ripped your costume!" After that, Nique fell to the floor and bursted into a fit of laughter. "Why don't you get another one of your costumes?" She asked, and he looked at her.
"Your right!" He ran off to get another costume. After waiting for a good 4 hours of waiting, Nique was starting to think he had either gotten lost, or had gotten himself locked in the bathroom again. But he finally came in a very small, tight costume full of holes, rips, and smell so bad that it could knock out an entire army and more. She began to breath through her mouth "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez SatAM Man, don't you have a better one?".
"This IS my best one! He said rather pleased, "The FUSers even agreed! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll, until they all fell to the floor for some strange reason?"
"HOLY CRAP!" Nique shot upstairs to check on the FUSers. She threw the doors open, only to see most the FUSers struggling to breath, some of them had passed out. "GUYS!!!" She ran over to Prime, who seemed fine "What the fuck happened here?"
"Well, Ben came in with some costumes and all of a sudden they all fell to the floor. Ben asked "Is this costume wearable?" and the others begged him to leave saying, "YES! Now FUCK OFF before we choke to death!" And then you came here."
She continued to look at them, then back to him "Ani't you gonna help them?" She asked him.
"Well yeah, but I've got another 8 minutes before Transformers finishes. And Transformers comes first." He continued to watch the TV, he took a sit next to Reese, who still was stoned outta his head. Nique walked over to a near by window and opened it, then the FUSers clamed down.
"Thank god, I can breath!" Shychick got up and ran to the window to get some more air, then followed by Tristan, John, Mistress Ali, and some others. Nique then left the room and headed back to the cave...
Meanwhile, at Archie HQ, Archie Man revealed his plan to the SatAM crew, "You gotta be fuckin nuts! You cant do that!" Sonic yelled at Archie Man from hearing the plan.
"SILENCE! I can do what I want! For I am Archie Man! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!" He threw his arms into the air...
"Well fuck you Archie Prick! I'm not gonna be part of your plan!" Sally said as she crossed her arms, and the others agreed, but Archie Man laughed at them.
"But you will, because you all belong to Archie Comics! So you have no choice! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!".
"Fuck, his right! LET US OUT!" Sally screamed as they all rattled the cage to break free but couldn't open it...
Nique walked back into the cave, "Where you been Nique?" SatAM Man asked her.
"Saving the FUSers that you almost killed SatAM Man! And plus, you've gotta get rid of that costume."
"But it's the only one I have Nique!" He most yelled.
"Well, we'll have to sort something out then!"
CHAPTER 3:
"Comeon Ben, we gotta get moving! Hurry the fuck up dammit!" Nique banged on the door as she yelled out to Ben.
"NO! I'm not wearing this Nique!" A yell from the bathroom came back to her.
"Well, it's either that, or my underwear!" A sudden silence filled the area, all that could be heard was the dripping of the tap from within the bathroom, hell, Nique or Ben could fart down there and even the FUSers could hear it. He wasn’t gonna argue with her, because he would most likely end up wearing her panties and bra.
"That's cold Nique, REALLY cold! But you win." The door handle was being opened from within the room and the door was slowly opened.
Ben stood there in what were parts of one of Nique's spare costumes, and left over bits of a Sonic Halloween costume. The end result looked a tiny bit like his normal costume, except it was mainly purple and most of it was girl's clothing. "Dammit, I fell like a complete dick!" He said as he started to go red.
"No you don't SatAM Man." Nique said, trying not to laugh...
"Nahhhhhh, ya just look like a dick!" A yell from down the hall was heard; it was Meta's voice. SatAM Man and Nique turned and saw all the FUSers looking at him, some had Cameras taking photos, and a few had Video Cameras taping the event and the rest were laughing themselves to death.
"Dude, this is fucking gold!" Chief spoke out while taping SatAM Man.
"Yeah, we gotta send this too 'World's Most Stupidest Costumes'! How much is it if they show ya tape?" John asked waiting for someone to answer.
"About $300!" Reese yelled, he too was also taping the event...
"And we can put the photos on the Net for everyone too see!" Prime said snapping away with his Camera.
Nique walked over to them with a look that only meant she was pissed off, "CUT IT OUT! Or they'll be no watching SatAM for 4 weeks! Instead I'll FORCE all of you to watch SONIC UNDERGROUND!!! THATS ALL 40 EPISODES 20 TIMES!!!" Once again, the area went silent, all the FUSers looked at each other with wide eyes, they knew she wasn't fucking around, then they looked back too Nique.
"We'll be good!" Prime said handing over his Camera, the others then threw their Cameras to the floor and slowly started to walk off, then they shitted themselves and ran for it before Nique kicked their asses.
"There, now let's go to the SatAM Mobile and find Pat!" Nique ran too the Car as SatAM Man slowly made his way there. He jumped in and looked at Nique.
"If anyone asks, I'm called SatAM... SatAAAAAAAAAAAM, errrrrrrrr... SatAM Boy! I don't want my enemies or friends knowing I'm wearing this!"
She looked at him, rather oddly, but agreed "Fair enough, MY little sidekick!" Nique laughed as she tried to start the SatAM Mobile.
"That's NOT funny!" He spoke coldly.
"Oh dear, the SatAM Mobile isn't working!" Slowly, Nique turned to SatAM Man and smiled, he just stared back, and then figured out what she meant, so he got out of the SatAM Mobile...
Back at Archie HQ...
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nothing can stop me this time! Now that I, Archie Man, have gotten permission from SEGA to do my second evil plan, it will be the greatest thing ever to have happened to Sonic fandom! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Archie Man slowly walked over to the cage " And you've got no choice but to help me you crazy fools!"
"Up your ass with broken glass, you bastard!" Bunnie yelled at Archie Man, but he pointed back to her.
"Quit ya jibba-jabba fool!" He yelled back, followed by his evil laugh.
"Will you stop with the Mr.T bit? It's old already!" Sally said to him.
"Really? Is it really? I mean, be honest." He asked them, they all looked at each other, then back to him, they all said "Yes!" at the same time.
"SHIT! And I thought I was being cool... But anyways... BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now for phase 2 of my new evil plan, I call... "Evil Plan number 2", but before I can start the main part of the plan, I must destroy... SATAM MAN AND THE NIQUE!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
CHAPTER 4:
SatAM Man pushed the SatAM Mobile, wondering where the hell did the gas go from the last time they filled it up; after all, they only filled it up a few hours ago...
Back at FUS, The FUSers started putting the gas all over the couch and chairs, Prime did an evil laugh and he, Reese, and John poured it all on. "Say, where did ya get all the gas from guys?" Chalcara asked them starching her head with confusion.
"We got it from the SatAM Mobile!" Reese said with a smile to his face as he continued to pour it on one of the chairs.
"Dudes, I don't think this is a cool idea, I mean like what would Alison think?" Shychick said rather worried.
"If Alison didn't want us to do this, then she wouldn't leave us alone would she?" Prime answered back. When all the gas had been poured all over the chairs he looked too Airborn "Now comeon man, Light these fuckers up!"
"Will do boss!" Airborn said with excitement as he did, the chairs lit up in a blaze of fire.
"Excellent! Sooooooo errrrrrrr... Now what do we do with them?" John asked, and the others all looked over to Prime as he rubbed his hands together and did an evil grin...
SatAM Man fell too the floor, he was drained of his energy, and he had only gotten 4 feet from where they had started. Then SatAM Man came up with an idea.
"Boss, I don't think this will work!" Nique was worried as she watched him stick a rocket up the exhaust pipe.
"It'll work. Trust me!" He sounded like he knew what he was doing, so he lit the fuse and quickly jumped in. They both watched as the fuse started to do its work. Before it got to the rocket, Nique closed her eyes.
"Fuck! It won't work!" She said to herself. The explosion caused the wheels and doors to fall off, and engine to blow up. Nique just sat there in shocked amazement! The car was totalled!
"FUCK! IT DIDN'T WORK! Why not? It always does in the cartoons! DAMMIT!" SatAM Man banged the dashboard with his head."Now what Nique?"
She looked at him and shrugged "I guess we walk now. Comeon." She and SatAM Man got outta the car and started to walk to their goal...
At Archie HQ...
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Soon SatAM Man and The Nique will be at my mercy! And then I can do... errrrrrrrrrrrrrr, nasty things to them! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Oh yeah?" Sally asked "Like what?" Archie Man suddenly stopped to think about that.
"Like... like errrrrrrrr... poke them! Or give... them... PAPER CUTS!"
"Ow! Those seriously hurt you know!" Sonic became worried when Archie Man said "Paper Cuts." he started to remember the last time he got one, he remembered he thought he was gonna die from some nasty disease or something. "Don't gimme one! Please!" He begged.
"Shut up Sonic! Don’t give him any ideas!" Tails shouted.
"Besides, your meant to be the hero! Get us the fuck outta here!" Sally started to shake him.
"Don't be stupid you fools! You can't get out without the key! And Sonic has the I.Q. of a wet cheese sandwich! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Archie Man then felt the room, leaving the Archie characters to watch the SatAM Crew.
"Hmmmmmmmm, I could go for a cheese sandwich right now!" Bunnie said as she licked her lips...
After about 2 hours of walking, SatAM Man and The Nique got to Pat Allee's home. They knocked on the door and Pat answered "Hello SatAM Man and Nique!" She said bringing them into her home.
"Well, this is SatAM Boy... His MY sidekick! Isn't that right SatAM Boy?" She nudged him, he didn't say anything but just grumbled.
"I'm so glad you could make it, how are the FUSers by the way?" Pat asked Nique
"Oh, their doing great!"...
Back at FUS...
"OK guys, this is "Olympic Blazing Chair and Couch Jumping", what ya gotta do is jump the 5 chairs and then the couch. If ya can do it with out catching yourself on fire, then ya progress onto the next round of the game!" Prime spoke the rules to the game while showing the FUSers images of what they have to do with stick men. "Any questions?"
Cinos raised his hand "Put your hand down Cinos, nobody gives a fuck on what you have to say! OK, now let's start the game", Prime went first, he cleared it onto the next round, as did John, Reese, Lena, Mistress Ali, Tristan, and Chalcara.
Then Forest went up, he cleared the chairs and couch, "THERE! Told ya I could..." He looked back to find out he was on fire "Huh? OH FUCK!!! SHIT!!!" He dropped to the floor "PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT DAMMIT!!!" The others stamped on him to put him out.
"Oh dude ya didn't make it. Sorry about that." Reese said looking at the body of Forest, who was still alive.
"Yeah, now get the fuck outta here! We've got others to jump it!" John picked up Forest and threw him outta the room.
"OK? Whose next?" Prime asked looking at the others. The rest who where left looked at each other, then Meta shrugged and started to run...
Back at Pat Allee's home...
"So what is it you wanted to tell us Pat?" SatAM Man asked his friend.
"Well from what I know, Ken Penders, or as you know him as Archie Man is planning to destroy Sonic fandom with his latest plan. His gotten permission from SEGA to do it! And you’re the only 2 who can stop him!" Pat got up and walked over too the kitchen.
"How do you know all this Pat?" Nique asked.
"Because..." Suddenly, a cage dropped on top of SatAM Man and The Nique. "I'm not Pat Allee!" The fake Pat Allee removed her face to reveal...
"HOLY SHIT ON A STICK!!! It's... It's... who the fuck are you anyways?" SatAM Man asked.
"I am J.F. Man! I am Archie Man's partner! And you both are in deep shit! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
SatAM Man and The Nique both looked at each other and at the same time said "Ohhhhhhhh shit!"
CHAPTER 5:
Within Archie HQ, SatAM Man, The Nique and the SatAM Crew were in deep shit, so deep that if they stepped in it, they'd be deep in it. "Where's the real Pat Allee you 2 bitches?" Nique yelled shacking her fist at Archie Man and J.F. Man.
"SILENCE! J.F. Man is MY bitch! I'm the pimp here! But the real Pat Allee is in that cage over there! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Archie Man laughed so loud that it echoed through the whole building as he pointed to the cage holding Pat Allee, "At last, I have the 2 of you... again! And this time... Noone can stop me! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!".... Archie Man stopped suddenly when a large blue female Gargoyle smashed her way through the window. Kicking the shit out of Archie Man, J.F. Man and the Archie characters. After that, she walked over to the cage holding SatAM Man and The Nique and looked at Nique.
"I can't leave you alone for 5 minutes, can I Dog?" She said
"Demona!!! Thank fuck we're saved!!!" She asked Demona to move in a little closer "But errrrrrrrrrrr... you DO know your in the wrong fic here, right?"
"Really? Oh, well. Fuck it, I'll go kill Maza then!" Demona was just about to take off.
"WAIT! You can still save us!" Nique reached out for Demona.
"Nahhhhhhhh. I'm sure you'll get out of this one by yourself." With that Demona left Archie HQ, and Nique just looked at the Gargoyle as she left.
"Fuck! And here I thought we were saved!"
Back at FUS... Only 7 FUSers were left in the "Olympic Blazing Chair and Couch Jumping" contest, Prime went up and cleared it, even though his foot touched the flames "Sweet, did it again!" He stood there in victory, but most of the FUSers protested...
"That's not fair! Prime's made of metal so he doesn't catch fire!" Tristan said looking at him.
"Yeah, his got a point mate. Sorry, but ya out." John said.
"DAMMIT I HATE YOU GUYS!" Prime yelled as he started to leave the room.
"Where are you going Prime?" Lena asked.
"To the stores to get some Pepsi." He said before opening the door.
"Oh, oh, oh! Can ya get me the latest issue of Stoner's World?" Reese asked pulling out $5 and holding it out towards Prime.
"Dammit! How comes it's always me that has to do all the stuff? It's always "Prime get me a beer!" or "Prime, can ya get a movie from Blockbusters?" or "Prime can ya gimme anal sex?" It neve..." He suddenly looked at the others, they all looked at him with confusion...
"What was that last one?" Kaotix asked him.
"NOTHING!" He grabbed the $5 outta Reese's hand, "Nothing at all!" and walked out.
"Did he say Anal Sex? Because if so, I might have to take up on that offer!" Nightweaver asked the others.
"Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." The other FUSers said, trying not to get Nightweaver rape Prime...
Back at Archie HQ, Archie Man staggered to his feet after the beating from Demona. "Damn! I'll have to get my revenge on her, by ruining the storyline that she belongs too! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Yeah right, she belongs to Disney you ass crack!" Nique said.
"Soooooo, I'll errrrrrrrrrrrr... Go work for Disney! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! But anyways, let me tell you my latest plan! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"No thanks." SatAM Man said not really bothered.
"Well, I'll tell you anyways! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Simply my plan is too... make a Sonic Archie Movie!"
SatAM Man and Nique both jumped back in their cage "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Wait... what?" SatAM Man said rather confused.
"I'm going to make a Sonic Movie based on the Archie storyline! But the whole main plot of this... is... too... kill Sally and have her replaced with... MINA!!!" he yelled with victory!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO! LET ME OUT!!!" Sally tried to break out of the cage again " I swear his got something against me! LETTME OUT DAMMIT!"
"SILENCE BITCH!" J.F. Man yelled pointing to Sally.
"But now the whole thing on my mind is... what to do you with you 2?" Archie Man said as he looked on at SatAM Man and The Nique
CHAPTER 6:
It seemed hopeless for SatAM Man and The Nique, there they were, trapped in a cage along with Pat Allee and the SatAM Crew, there was no way out for them. "Well Nique, I guess this is it. I guess Archie Man has... won!"
"Don't give up yet SatAM Ma... errrr Boy! For I have a plan!" He looked at her with the normal odd look in his eyes.
"Does it include a Rocket in it anywhere?" He asked her.
"No it doesn't." She looked over to J.F. Man "Hey, dickless! I want to make a last request if I may!" J.F. Man looked confused at her. Archie Man had left him in charge, so what was he gonna do?
"Errrrrr... OK. What is it?" He said.
"I wanna make a phone call!" She said, "Let me out to use a phone." He walked over to the cage to let her out, when he stopped.
"Hang on a second." J.F. Man pulled out a note that Archie Man had given him before leaving to get something. The note said, "Do the opposite of what they, and DON'T let them out!" He looked back to them "Ohhhhhhhh no I don't! I'm not letting you out!" He walked off leaving them in their cages.
"SHIT! SHIT, SHIT, SHI... WAIT! Pat, do you have a cell phone?" Nique looked at Pat.
"Yeah." Pat pulled it out showing Nique.
"Chuck it over to me then!"...
Back at FUS, it was down to Reese and John in the finals, all the others were seriously burnt, but they still watched on. It was getting exciting. John started to run for his jumps when the phone went off; he stopped before jumping the first chair "DAMMIT! Someone get the bloody phone!" Chalcara got off her seat and picked it up.
"Hello?" she spoke...
"Chal? It's me Nique! Listen for a second, I need you and the FUSers to..." Chal slammed the phone down...
"Blah blah blah! Comeon then you two! I wanna see who wins!" she took her seat. John began to run up when...
"Oh FUCK! The fires gone out!" John got royally pissed off; "I wanted to throw a few stakes on that after one of us won! We got anymore gas?" Everyone checked around the area, "No" was the main reply.
"Wait, we can call Prime to get some more!" Tristan picked the phone up and dialled Prime's number...
At the local store, Prime had gotten his Pepsi and Reese's magazine, as he left, his cell phone went off, so he answered it, "Yo?"
"Hey Prime, it's Tristan, listen we need some more gas. Can ya get some?"
"No. Fuck off." He shut off his phone and started to walk back to FUS. After a while of walking, he heard a faint scream that was getting louder, he looked up and. *BOOM*!!!
"Ahhhhhhh shit! Fuck! Dammit!" A body had fallen on top of him, and crippled his back. He looked at the body of the female "Ahhhhh Fuck that hurt! Why'd you fall on me ya stupid bitch? Hey, you looked kinda familiar!" Then suddenly, next to him, someone landed, but he didn't look.
"Looks like your fall was broken Maza, I'll have to drop you again!" The female voice spoke...
"I think she's dead anyways lady... Wait, did you say Maza?" Prime looked up at the female, and his jaw hung "Oh fuck beans!"
It was Demona again, and then she looked down at Prime and a look of joy filled her face "Oh... It's you thief! I've been looking forward to meeting you again!" Demona started to pound her fist into the palm for her hand.
Prime just put his head into his hand, "Not now Demona! Can it wait till the sequel to Revenge is written?"
She smiled. "Nope."...
Back at Archie HQ...
"Dammit, Shychick hung up, and you've got no more power in your bloody phone!" Nique threw the phone back at to Pat.
"What are you 2 gonna do?" Sally asked looking at SatAM Man and The Nique "I don't wanna die! Not before I kick J.F. Man in the balls for calling me a bitch! Oh, and kill Mina for trying to steal my man!"
"I don't know Sally, but we'll think of something... maybe." SatAM Man didn't have much to say. Then Archie Man entered the hall carrying a large box.
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have it! The greatest, evilest, way to destroy the 2 of you! I'm going to have you both..."
"Eat a shit load of food and make themselves puke to death?" Tails said.
"No!"
"Have them locked in a tiny room and fart into the air vent causing them to die from the stench?" Sonic asked...
"NO!"
"Poke them with a sharp pointy stick that you used to scratch your butt with?" Bunnie gave out her idea.
"NO DAMMIT!"
"Make them read the gay ass script for your stupid Sonic movie?" Sally answered.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Close, but not there. I'm going to make you 2 read... Every single issue of anything Sonic related that we Archie created! THEN the script to the movie! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Nique and SatAM Man just sat there in shock and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"...
CHAPTER 7:
SatAM Man and Nique were trapped, with nothing to do. Archie Man advanced on them, taking out the first ever issue of the 4 part Sonic The Hedgehog series "Now, I shall start off with the ever first issue ever made! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" then SatAM Man looked over at the floor and noticed something.
"Hey, $5!" he lifted the cage off the floor and quickly snatched up the note.
Nique just looked on at him with wide eyes. "What the hell did you just do?" She asked him.
"IT'S MINE! I SAW IT FIRST!" He yelled holding tight of the note, but Nique just lifted the cage up, freeing her and SatAM Man. Archie Man and J.F. Man just stared at them, and then they soiled themselves.
Back at FUS, the FUSers were getting bored to death, "Dammit man! There's nothing to do! What with Prime being a dick and not getting the gas, and that Alison and Ben are gone, there’s fuck all to do!" Koatix yelled sitting down with his arms crossed.
"We can watch the rest of the "Who Can get The Rubber Band In The Paper Cup?" Contest." Tristan said, but everyone looked at him saying "NO!"
"Well... we can have a stoning contest!" Reese replied pulling out his bong and he started to get stoned.
"Nahhhhhhhhhhh, something funner." Meta-knight said thinking.
"We can have a Chair War!" John said grabbing one of the burnt chairs and whacking Forest over the head with it, causing Forest to lay on the floor in a heap. Everyone looked at John in shock, but then a few of them broke out into a smile and grabbed a chair each and then started to beat each other. Then everyone else decided to join in...
Back at Archie HQ, Nique and SatAM Man started to run towards Archie Man and J.F. Man, about to kick some serious ass. "Quick my creations... ATTACK!!!" Archie Man pointed to the heroes, expecting his characters to attack.
"FUCK YOU BUDDY!" Elisa started to run outta the hall.
"YEAH! Last time we fought them, I got to meet Nique's friend called "Mr. Steel Pipe"! Your on your own!" Mina started to get out of the hall quickly in her wheelchair. All the Archie characters left within 10 seconds, leaving Archie Man and J.F. Man to face the two heroes.
"You take J.F. Man, SatAM Boy!" She pointed to J.F. Man who was trying to get out of the door, but it seemed that the Archie characters had locked the door. Nique then turned to Archie Man who was now hiding in a near by corner, pissing his pants. "I want Archie Man!"
They started to walk over to them. Archie Man looked on as he still continued to piss himself, and Nique's shadow fell upon him, "Mommy!" He screamed...
After the beating of Archie Man and J.F. Man, Nique and SatAM Man looked on at their work. Archie Man and J.F. Man laid on the floor, covered in shredded up copies of Sonic The Hedgehog, they cried their eyes out "My work! My wonderful work, RUINED! BWHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO" Archie Man couldn't believe it.
SatAM Man freed Pat from her cage "Are you OK Pat?" He asked her
"I'm fine SatAM Boy." She looked at Archie Man and J.F. Man "May I kick them a bit before you finish up with them?" She asked.
"Sure!" Nique said smiling.
Pat moved over to Archie and kicked him in the guts..."That's for capturing me asshole!" then she kicked J.F. man in the gut "That's for doing the crappy impersonation of me!" Then back to Archie Man, kicking him in his balls "And this is for the hell of it!"
"Cool! Now let's finish them off and go back home." And slowly, SatAM Man and Nique headed towards them...
"There, finished!" SatAM Man looked on at their work, Archie Man and J.F. Man were duct taped, spray painted with a large target on them and stuffed in a box marked to go to Afghanistan. Nique sealed the box up, and put a note on top saying "To whoever finds this: Please send this away when you find it. Doesn't matter on postage cost!" then she, SatAM Man and Pat left.
"Wait, WAIT YOU FORGOT TO LET US FREE!" Sonic screamed but they closed the door forgetting about them.
"Awwwwwwww shit! Sally yelled...
Back at FUS again, the chair war was over and the only one standing was John. "Yeah, I win! It just shows us Aussies are the best!" He looked at the others; all of them were on the floor...
"But ya didn't beat Reese up John!" Kaotix said slowly pointing to Reese...
"But I can't whack him." John looked over to Reese "His just so cute when his stoned!" He watched Reese laying on the floor with a big smile on his face.
"What about Prime huh?" Shychick asked.
"Well... Say, where the fuck is he anyway?" John looked around to try and find Prime...
Still laying in the street with Maza on his back, Prime had Demona to keep him company, and that she was kicking him.
"You humans are such a bunch of idiots and all you do is act like morons!" She stood there talking to him.
"Uh-huh." He laid there not paying much attention.
"And if my kind weren't destroyed, we would be ruling this planet with your kind as our pets!" She kicked him again.
"Ooooooooooooooooooookay!"
Suddenly, Nique, SatAM Man and Pat walked around the corner, than they spotted. Nique spotted Demona kicking Prime. "I'd better save him!" She walked over to Demona "Hey Demona, I just saw Goliath snooping on you, ya better go and kill him!"
Demona looked at Nique, "OK." She then looked back at Prime "I'll deal with you when you’re back in the other fic!" She then took off.
"Sure whatever Demona, I love you too!" he yelled making sure she could hear him. Nique looked at Maza's lifeless body.
"She dead?" Nique asked as Prime nodded. Nique then pulled at a large stick and poked the body "I think she's dead.".
"Whatever man! Just take me back to FUS! I can't get up cause Maza's body fucked my back up." So SatAM Man and Nique threw Maza's body off him and grabbed his legs and dragged him back...
And again back at FUS, now as Alison and Ben, along with Pat, they opened the door to see all the FUSers lying on the floor in a bloody heap... "What the hell happened here guys?" Alison almost lost it.
"Nothing! We didn't beat each other with chairs, OR set fire to the chairs and couch so we could jump them!" Reese said stoned.
"Oh great Reese, she'll really believe that!" Tristan smacked him over the head.
"But why did you do this?" Ben asked.
"Cause. Cause errrrrrrrrrr... it... WAS PRIME'S IDEA!!!" Koatix pointed to Prime.
"True, it was..." he said "But it was a fucking blast man!" He smiled at Nique, then everyone else agreed with him.
"Whatever man... But at least it looks like you guys had fun." Alison said.
"Oh we did!" Shychick smiled, and Tristan pulled out a tape.
"Plus, we taped it for you guys to watch!" he put it into the VCR.
"Oh, errrrrrrrr, great!" Ben then slumped into a chair, and they started to watch the tape. But in his mind he was thinking that they had still forgotten to do something.
And back at Archie, the SatAM Crew still hung there in their little cage "Do you think they'll ever remember to free us?" Sally asked.
THE END
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