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"The Adventures Of SatAM Man and The Nique" is © Sonicus Prime. Sonic The Hedgehog and other related characters are © Sega, DiC and Archie. Ben Hurst, Ken Penders, Alison Scharlemann and all the FUSers are real people, but the events in this story haven't taken place in any real life events. And is anybody still reading after all that? Anyone caught stealing my stuff will make me very upset and extremely pissed off. If you wish too put this on your site, please Email me first so I can decide if you can. Email address is [email protected] .
What your about to read now is the pilot to “Adventures of SatAM Man and The Nique”. Originally re-edited by myself to make more sense for when this was put up on www.satamsonic.com, the original version was lost within one of my folders full of junk, most likely lost forever. But when I find it, I’ll be forcing you all to read the original draft of an already shit story. And what your reading now is a re-re-edited version, because I want to.
Check the next one for a much better story, for now though, courage!
The Adventures of SatAM Man and The Nique
Written by: Sonicus Prime
CHAPTER 1:
One day, an evil figure was planning something... "Evil"!
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Soon I "Ken Penders" will rule Sonic fandom, and I WILL destroy the other Sonic universes with bad plot ideas, AND NOONE WILL STOP ME! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Meanwhile, in his room at FUS Headquarters, Sonicus Prime, a regular FUSer got a bad felling. "Hmmmmmmmmmm, I fell something, something bad is about to happen to all Sonic fandoms, ESPECIALLY SATAM!! I better get Alison on the case!" With a flash, the young dude jumped off his bed, he landed on his roommate, Kyle Reese. Reese didn’t feel shit because he was half wasted out of his head. Prime ran out of his room and headed too the room down the hallway. He threw the door open too see Alison drooling over a picture of Demona. Alison had a thing for the blue winged Gargoyle. In fact, so did Prime.
" Oh Yeah... You’re a bad girl aren’t... Huh? SHIT! Errrr Prime! Errrrrrrrr.... What do you want?" She slid the picture under her bed.
"Alison! We've got trouble, I think Pender's is up to something big!" Prime looked at her, then too where she put the photo thinking he'd steal it later for he's own use.
Alison just looked at him, not really giving a damn "And? As long as he isn't fucking about with SatAM, I don't give a shit." She answered back.
"But that’s just it! It involves SatAM aswell!"...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alison screamed so loud that Prime's eardrum almost exploded. With an evil shifty look in her eyes, she looked to Prime, "Not on my watch!" She ran out too the phone to call the one and only.... BEN HURST!!! Ben Hurst lived with the FUSers, after working on Sonic Underground, he had no money, but Alison was happy to give him a place to stay, but at this moment in time, he was out.
"BEN! Ben is that you?" She yelled down the phone, and a scared reply came "Errrrrr no, this is Pizza Hut." Alison just looked at the phone "Oh right. Errrrrrr sorry." Alison placed the phone down and picked it up again, carefully putting in the right number, the phone rang and rang and rang...
After 23 minutes of ringing, the answering service for his cell phone went off, "Hi this is Ben Hurst, I'm not in right now, if you'd like to leave your name and number I'll get back too you, and if your either SEGA, DiC or Ken Penders, then FUCK OFF!"...
"BEN!!! It’s Alison, we've got trouble and only you can save SatAM! Pender's is up to something, we gotta stop him before he...."
Before she could finish, a voice from the other end of the phone of be heard "Yes Alison, I'm here, what’s that penisless sheep shagger up to this time?" Hurst said with a very deep toned voice.
"Well I dunno, but it's gonna include SatAM in his list of evil bad things he has to do to Sonic fandom!"
After a few seconds of silence Ben Hurst finally spoke again "He can't fuck around with SatAM..." He looked around from side to side "Sonic Underground, yeah sure he can fuck that up, BUT NOT SATAM!!! Quick Alison, I'll meet you in the SatAM Cave!" Hurst hung up the phone, as did Alison as she headed for her SatAM pole, and for some strange reason, going down the pole also made her change into her superhero costume!?!?!...
When Alison arrived in the SatAM cave, she noticed Ben standing there as SatAM Man. "Quick Alison we must..."
Alison stopped him "Errrrrr SatAM Man, my names "The Nique" when I'm dressed like this, not Alison, you'll blow my cover!"
"Errrrrrr right, sorry Alis... I MEAN "The Nique". We must stop Ken Penders before he screws up SatAM! Quickly, to the SatAM Mobile!!!" The two of them ran to the SatAM Mobile and jumped in, SatAM Man put in the key and turned it, but nothing happened "Huh? Ohhhhh yeah, I forgot to fill her up!" He then turned too look at The Nique with a smile....
The SatAM Mobile headed slowly down the road at about 2MPH, "Comeon The Nique, we must go faster if we are to stop "Ken Penders"!" SatAM shouted looking back, watching The Nique struggled to push the SatAM Mobile down the road.
"THI.... THIS WASN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION!" She shouted back...
CHAPTER 2:
After a good 6 hours of pushing the SatAM Mobile, SatAM Man had fallen asleep at the wheel and Nique fell to the floor into a heap "Oh dude, I can't it much more, I'll be dead before the next chapter at this rate!" Nique replied gasping for breath, but what she didn't know was that she stopped right outside a gas station!
SatAM Man drooling and talking in his sleep "No DiC, please don't make me write Sonic Underground, it'll flop!" He suddenly woke up "Huh?" He looked around noticing the gas station "Good work Nique, now we can fill up the SatAM Mobile!" He reached into his pocket trying to pull out some cash "Huh? Oh yeah, after working on Sonic Underground, I've got no money left!" He walked over to the body of Nique and poked her with his “Poke the Nique stick to get free money” stick "Hey Nique, can you lend me some money?" He smiled as she pulled out her SatAM Wallet, but without getting up or looking up at him, he grabbed the SatAM Wallet and ran off, leaving her on the floor "Good work my little sidekick!"...
Meanwhile in the not so secret HQ of Ken Penders...
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Soon, my evil, bad plan will start to happen..." he continued walking around in his tiny little office, he pointed to a corner "AND all of you will help me do it, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He pointed to a cage, which held Sonic, Tails, Sally, Bunnie, Rotor, Antoine, Dulcy, Lupe and all the other characters that DiC made, and Archie had stolen from them. They we're all cramped up in the little cage, thanks to Penders being a cheapskate, not buying a bigger cage and that Dulcy was 2/3 the size of the cage.
Sonic managed to get his hand free and point at Penders "You'll never get away with this you jerk!"
Penders span around too look at the Hedgehog, "SILENCE INFIDEL!!!"
Sonic wet himself in fear. Boy was it going to smell bad later! "OK please don't hurt me!"
As Sonic started to cry, and Sally looked at him, "Some hero you are!"....
SatAM Man and The Nique were driving around in the SatAM Mobile. Nique had a map while SatAM Man was driving. "It's no good Nique, we'll never find him!" SatAM Man started banging his head on the wheel.
"Well... Why don't we try over there at Archie HQ...?" she said back pointing at a near by building with the big words on the top 'ARCHIE COMICS HQ. THIS IS NOT KEN PENDERS’ HIDDEN SECRET HQ! SERIOUSLY! WE MEAN IT!'.
SatAM Man looked at the building, then back to The Nique, then back at the building, then to Nique again. "What makes you think that my sidekick?"
Nique rolled her eyes "Well because Ken Penders’ works for Archie and THAT'S Archie's main building!"
SatAM Man looked at the sign again "But it says he isn't here..." Slapping herself on the head, Nique replied back "OK, well let's check it out anyways, and IF he is in there, you owe me a Dr. Pepper."
SatAM put his hand on his chin to quickly think, "Very well my little sidekick, lets go to the Archie building!"
As the two of them jumped out and ran towards Archie HQ Nique started to think "Hmmmmmmm, I wonder how the FUSers are doing without me?"...
Back at FUS, all of the FUSers were standing around, looking confused, "Hey, where's Nique?" Tristan asked looking at everyone.
"Dunno mate...But it kinda sucks without her... What'll we do?" John said as he was also looking around
"Well... we could get stoned!" Reese suggested, pulling out his bong and started to get higher than Jay and Silent Bob.
Prime suddenly ran into the room "YOU GUYS, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT?" He shouted waving his arms around.
"What? Someone die? Was it Shadowe? Hyper Tails? Forest? Was it Forest? It was Forest wasn't it?" Lena jumped up with excitement with a big anime style smile on her face.
"Errrrrrrrr no. I found the paper cup and the rudder bands! Now we can play "Who can get the rubber band in the cup"!!! Wanna play?" Everyone looked at him and shouted "ALRIGHT!!!" Throwing their arms in the air as in victory...
Back with the main story, SatAM Man and The Nique bursted into the building "STOP RIGHT THERE, KEN PEN.... Wait wrong building." SatAM Man closed the doors and the ran to the another building, making sure that this one was Archie HQ "OK, this is the one, let's do it to it!" The two of them slapped some skin and threw the doors open "NOT SO FAST KEN PENDERS! Stop your evil plans right now! Or suffer the power of SatAM Man!"
Nique jumped in front of SatAM Man "Annnnnnnnnnd The Nique too!" They looked around the darkened building; all they saw was piles of boxes containing unsold copies of "Sonic the Hedgehog"...
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, You think you can stop me? I'm Ken Penders, the greatest Sonic writer in History! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Noone can stop me, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Penders stepped out of the shadows in his evil villain costume.
"Dear god, it's my old enemy...." SatAM Man looked on in horror at, "ARCHIE MAN!!!"...
CHAPTER 3:
Within Archie HQ, SatAM Man and the Nique were face-to-face with they're enemy, Archie Man. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you'll never stop me SatAM Man, for you see, I'm Ken Penders, the greatest Sonic writer ever! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
SatAM Man and The Nique just looked at each other, then bursted into laughter falling to the floor and kicking their legs in the air "Awwwwww comeon, YOU? The GREASTEST Sonic writer in the world? You can't write your way into a paper bag, INTO!" Nique wiped a tear from her eye, still laughing at what Archie Man had said.
"SILENCE FOOLS! You can't stop me, for you see, I have Sonic and his friends, OVER THERE! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Archie Man pointed towards the cage, which was hanging above a container of Sonic Comics.
"SatAM Man, thank god it's you! Ya gotta save us from this thing, Sonic is stinking up the bloody cage!" Sally screamed.
Sonic just became embarrassed "Sal, I told ya, it's a medical condition!"...
"Holy captured SatAM characters SatAM Man!" Nique said in shock, pointing to the kidnapped SatAM characters.
"Let them go Archie Man!" SatAM Man had become pissed off.
"Yeah, let 'em go!" Nique replied back showing her fist too Archie Man
"Quite sidekick, I'll handle this! You just stand there and look pretty."
Nique just stood there all grumpy looking "Fine!" She crossed her arms.
"I'm warning you Archie Man, let them go, or suffer the power of SatAM Man...." He waited for The Nique to say something, but she still just stood there "And the Nique aswell" He finished off pointing to her, which made Nique happy...
"Y-You don't scare me SatAM Man..." A wet patch had formed around Archie Man's leg "GET'EM LADS!!!" Archie Man gave his command, and from out of the shadows came all of the Archie characters, Hersley, Princess Elisa, Mina, and all the others. "Now my creations! ATTACK! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" But before the did, Elisa looked back to Archie Man,
"Hey, are we gonna get feed now, or after we beat them up?" He asked,
"I'll feed you after, I promise..." Archie Man rolled his eyes, lying too them "NOW ATTACK!!!" The Archie character's started to advance on SatAM Man and The Nique
"Ooooooooooh Shit!" Nique spoke up....
Meanwhile, back at FUS, the FUSers had entered the quarterfinals of "Who can get the rubber bands in the paper cup"....
"OK dudes, it's the final two battles, and the winners of these two matches will face each other in the final. We've got Tristan VS John, and Lena VS Reese. Now let the match begin!" Prime shouted with excitement!
"Wait, it's kinda surprising that Reese has made it this far, and that his totally stoned outta his fucking head!" Chief pointed towards the mashed up Reese who was still getting high.
"Hey yeah! Your right..." Lena said looking at Reese aswell "Well, he'll be a fucking push over to beat, after all, I'm the Worldwide Champion of this game!" Lena showed off her medal.
John moved forward to get a closer look at the medal, "Hey wait, this isn't for "Rubber band in paper cup"... AND it ani't even your name on that!" Lena just looked at the others.
"Errrrrr, well ya see..." She just stopped and ran out of the room, leaving the others looking at her and the dust she left behind.
"Well... can I take her place?" Airborn spoke up,
"Yeah sure, now let the 1st match begin!" Prime said moving over to the scoreboard, and again everyone threw his or her arms in the air shouting "ALRIGHT!!!"...
Back at Archie HQ, the battle had started, but most of the Archie characters hadn't even gotten 3 feet before falling to the floor from starvation, and those that had gotten to SatAM Man and The Nique were too weak to fight back. "Man, I wonder how much these guys sold themselves to Archie for?" SatAM Man said blowing over Elisa with his breath.
"I dunno SatAM Man, but at least we're kicking ass!" Nique was enjoying beating Mina into a bloody lifeless heap with a steel pipe "Steal... Sally's man... will ya? TAKE... THAT!!!" After beating all the Archie characters into piles of dead bodies that smelt really, really bad, SatAM Man And Nique moved their attention back to Archie Man, who was hiding in a corner, pissing himself with fear.
"W-Wait SatAM Man, why... why should we fight? I mean like, we could rule Sonic fandom, TOGETHER, Join me, and together, we could rule the world!" Archie Man had giving SatAM Man a choice.
"FUCK THAT! You’re going down Archie Man!" SatAM Man and The Nique began to advance on him.
Suddenly, Archie Man had an idea, "Oh yeah? Well at least I didn't write... SONIC UNDERGROUND!!!" SatAM Man stood still, not able to move,
"NO! STOP IT!" SatAM Man was unable to do anything as Archie continued to put him down with how bad Sonic Underground was. SatAM Man knew it was true, and he fell to the floor, leaving The Nique to face Archie Man.
"Now, your the only one left..." Archie Man smiled back at The Nique,
"Oh yeah? Well that ani't gonna work on me you... you... stupidheadwhosellsthingsonebaythatdoesn'tbelongtohim!" The Nique started to run at Archie Man, but stop when he pulled out a... COPY OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ISSUE 1!!! "ARH SHIT! My one weakness!" Nique struggled to fight the evil power of the comic, but Archie Man threw the comic at her, the corner hitting her on the head, causing to be knocked out cold!
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I knew I'd beat them! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"....
When the Nique came too, she was tied to SatAM Man and hanging above a container of Ink "Now SatAM Man and The Nique, you'll both become one of the many issues of Sonic The Hedgehog! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Archie man pulled the leaver, causing SatAM Man and The Nique to be lowered very, very, VERY slowly into the Ink "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm so evil!" Archie man shouted at the top of his lungs as he walked over to the cage hold Sonic and Co "Now, the only way you'll be freed from the cage is, if you all sign this contract making you all the property of ARCHIE COMICS, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"....
CHAPTER 4:
SatAM Man and The Nique struggled against the rope that held them together, but seemed to be getting nowhere; they looked on as Archie Man tried to get Sonic to sign the contract. "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Sign the contract Sonic, work for Archie, we won't be as bad as DiC when you made Sonic Underground! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Archie Man held the contract under the hedgehog's nose, "Awwwwww dammit, you gave me a paper cut!" Sonic's nose started to bleed, he started too cry.
"SILENCE!!! Sign the contract NOW!!!"
Sonic wiped his eyes and quietly spoke "Ummmmmmmmmm OK" Archie Man handed the Hedgehog the contract and a pen.
"NO, DON'T DO IT SONIC!" Nique screamed still struggling against the rope.
"SILENCE FOOL!" Archie Man pointed towards Nique.
Sonic looked at the contract, reading it, when he suddenly stopped "Hey! What’s all this about... Killing Sally? And all the other bad plot holes? And that we only get feed once a week and live in the basement of this building?"
Sally's eyes shot wide open "WHAT? They're gonna kill me? AGAIN? SHIT! My life will be ruined! LET ME OUT!" Sally went mad trying to get outta the cage.
"Well, errrrrrrrrm, we'll work on that!" Archie Man crossed his fingers "Now sign the contract! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic slowly started to bring the pen to the paper of the contract...
"Well, my little sidekick, I guess this is, we're completely... errrrrrrrrm, what's that word?" SatAM Man looked over to her.
"Fucked?" Nique said back.
"Yeah, that's it! We're completely fucked! Any last words Nique?"
Nique struggled against the ropes and got an arm free! "Hold on SatAM Man, we've got one hope!" She reached to her SatAM Utility Belt and pulled out her SatAM Cell Phone.
"Who ya gonna call my little sidekick? The Ghostbusters?" SatAM Man asked seeing the phone.
"NO! I'm gonna call the only people who can help us! I'm gonna call... Team FUS!"....
Back at FUS, tension and excitement filled the room as Tristan prepared for his shot to get the rubber band in the paper cup. "Comeon man! You've been preparing this shot for the last 4 hours and 24 minutes!" Mistress Ali sighed rolling her eyes.
"Don't rush me man, this type of thing takes time!" He snapped back, he pulled the rubber band back, then suddenly the phone went off. "Ahhhhh FUCK! Get the phone someone!" Tristan yelled.
Prime went over to the phone and picked it up "Yo?" From the other end, Nique shouted causing Prime to pull the phone away from his ear.
"PRIME, THAT YOU? OH, THANK GOD! IT'S ME, NIQUE!"
"Errrrrrrrrrr hold on" He put his hand over the phone "Its Nique guys, what shall I say?" He asked, everyone in the room looked at each other, then back to Prime, and at once they all said, "Tell her to fuck off! We're busy!" They went back to watching the game. Prime shrugged at put the phone back to his head "This is FUS, We're not in at the moment, if you leave your name and number after the beep, we'll get back to ya. Beep."...
Nique looked confused "Huh? Anyways, guys It's me, Nique! I'm at Archie HQ and need your help, will ya..." The other end hung up "What? Oh FUCK!".
Prime put the phone down and went back to the exciting match "What did she want?" Airborn asked.
"I dunno. Something about being at Archie HQ and needing us for help." Prime shrugged taking his seat.
"Well she can wait! I'm about beat Reese in the finals! After that, THEN we'll go help her!" Tristan started to take his shot again.
Reese looked up "Huh? Beat me at what?" The stoner said looking at Tristan with his bong in his hand....
"Well Nique, what's happening? Are Team FUS coming to save us?" SatAM Man asked her.
"Errrrrrrrrrrr... no." She replied back.
"Well now what my little sidekick?"
Nique just shrugged "I guess to hang here and wait for death." Nique suggested, while SatAM Man had a quick think about it
"OK, I can do that!"....
2 Days passed and SatAM Man and the Nique were hanging in the same place.
"Errrrrrrrrrrm have we moved at all in the last 2 days my little sidekick?" SatAM Man wondered.
"I don't think so. I wonder why?" She asked. Archie Man ran into the main entrance on the building
"It's because the power company shut off our electricity! We haven't been selling many copies, but I shall soon sort that out!" He moaned carrying a pen over to the cage "NOW, This pen should work! I brought it with my last dollar! NOW SIGN THE CONTRACT DAMMIT!" Archie Man was getting extremely pissed off
"OK, OK! Jeeeeeeeeeeez." Sonic took the pen and put it to the paper when, "Oh FUCK! I put a hole in the contract! Got another one?" He asked Archie Man.
"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" He snatched the contract off the Hedgehog and ran over to SatAM Man and The Nique "Hey, either one of you two got 5 cents.... No wait $5 you can lend me?" He sweetly asked his two captives....
Back at FUS, Tristan was still taking his shot, the others were all tired, and all the males had long beards, almost touching the floor. "Dude, you've been doing this for almost 3 days for god sakes! Take the shot so I can die!" Chief pleaded Tristan on his knees.
"OK, OK, fine!" Tristan released the band, but the sudden blast of gas from Dominic's ass caused the band to fly out the window. "OH DUDE! YOU SCREWED ME UP!" Tristan yelled like a little girl.
"Sorry man, but I couldn't hold it any longer.
Every one sniffed up "OH MATE! IT'S BURNING MY EYES!" John screamed holding his face, everyone fell to the floor, they’re eyes watering. Struggling from the smell, Prime transformed into his Helicopter mode, making a fan outta his blades, sending the toxic gas out of the window in a hope to save himself, not really giving a shit about the others. When everyone came too, Prime went back to his human mode. All eyes went onto Dominic.
"You smelly fucker!" Mistress Ali smacked Dominic over head, causing him to ask for another from her.
"OK Reese, it's your shot now." x273 handed him a rubber band, Reese looked up at him still stoned,
"For what?"....
"Well, do you have $5 or not?" Archie Man asked holding his hand out begging like a bum.
"Errrrrrrrrrr... Yeah! But ya gotta let us down so we, errrrrrr... can give it to you!" Nique sharply and smoothly said. Archie Man had to think about this.
While he was doing that, SatAM Man looked over to The Nique "Errrrrrr Nique, we don't have $5!" SatAM Man whispered to her.
"What? Why? I gave you about $241 that was in my SatAM Wallet! Where'd it all go?" She asked looking at him with wide eyes.
"Well, ya see, I spent about $11 on gas, and errrrrrr... about $230 on porno mags." He gave her a sweet innocent look
"WHAT?" She almost shouted, but then clamed down "Did ya get any Demona porno mags by a chance?"
SatAM Man quickly thought "Errrrrr, no."
Nique went all depressed "Damn..."
Archie Man looked back up at them "I've decided to let you down, BUT NO FUNNY STUFF!" He proceeded to lower the two of them onto the ground, very, very, VERY, slowly.
As soon as Archie Man had finished untying SatAM Man and The Nique, he jumped in front of them holding out his hand "Now, give me the $5! NOW DAMMIT, NOW" He smiled with delight.
"HAHAHAHAHHA! You fell for it Archie Man!" SatAM Man bursted into laughter, standing there, like all super heroes with his hands on his side.
"What do you mean?" Archie Man was both confused and scared.
"We don't have $5, we said that so you would untie us, thanks to my brilliant plan!" SatAM Man said.
Nique stopped SatAM Man again "WAIT! It was MY plan!" She protested!
"Yes, but you should know by now that the main hero always takes credit for the plan! Now just stand there and look pretty!" He ordered her.
"OH SHIT!" Archie Man had just figured out what he had done
"Oh yes, and your going to be in alot of that, for you see, now we're going to kick your ass!" As SatAM Man and The Nique advanced on Archie Man, all he could do was shit his pants...
CHAPTER 5:
SatAM Man and The Nique started to head towards the smelly brown wearing pants Archie Man, he started to move back when suddenly "WAIT A SECOND!" he yelled at the 2 heroes, which made them stop. Archie Man grabbed a stick and started to poke the Archie characters "Hurry my creations! Save me, I command you!" But he soon figured out that after about 20 minutes of poking them and them not moving, they were kinda dead. Archie Man slowly turned his head to look at SatAM Man and The Nique, when suddenly; he had the ultimate plan to save him!
"Say SatAM Man, I've learned my lesson! If you let me off the hook, I'll never mess with the Sonic Universes again, I promise!" This one pled was his only chance to save him from a major ass kicking.
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you have, like the time you screwed me over on the proposed SatAM Movie? I don't think so Archie Man, your gonna get it now bitch!" SatAM Man slammed his fists together with a big grin on his face.
"Yeah, let's kick his ass! Your going down!" Nique yelled with joy as the two headed towards Archie Man.
"Well, that’s THAT plan fucked then isn't it?" Archie Man thought to himself as he again shitted his pants....
Back at FUS, Shychick tried to explain to Reese what he had to do, "Look Reese, it's simple, all ya gotta do is flick the rubber band into the paper cup" She pointed at the cup.
Reese looked up at her "But why?" He asked.
Shychick threw her arms into the air "Right, that's it! You guys explain to him!" She walked outta the room slamming the door behind her. Koatix walked over to Reese, he tired to explain it too him.
"Right Reese, see the rubber band?" He pointed to it and Reese nodded "All ya have to do is to flick it into the cup!" He pointed to the cup.
"But why?"
Prime stood there looking at Reese "Because there's an lump of weed as the prize if ya get it in."
Reese's eyes shot open with delight at knowing what the prize was. "OK THEN!" He flicked the band and it landed in the cup. To everyone’s amazement, they watched it land into the cup.
"I don't believe it! HE DID IT!" Chief pointed at the cup totally shocked!
Tristan shouted, "FIXED! IT WAS ALL FIXED!".
Reese got to his feet "OK, so where’s my weed man?" He looked around awaiting the answer.
"Ohhhhh, errrrrr... Shychick has it, go get it man!" Prime pointed towards the door and Reese ran towards it, but fell to the floor after about 5 feet...
"Man that was a long game. Now what?" Mikerules asked, but everyone else shrugged.
"Dunno man" Koatix asked.
Mistress Ali was sitting in the corner reading the latest copy of "Topless Snively Monthly", she didn't pay much attention to the others, too busy looking at nude pictures of Snively, but replied with "Errrrrr wasn't Nique in trouble or something?"
Confused looks filled the room, "Welllll errrrrrrr... I'm sure she's sorted that out by now!" Chief suggested, and everyone sat back down with some "Yeah” from the FUSers.
Sitting there for about 23 minutes, Lena walked back in "Hey, who wants to play "Who can flick the button into the paper cup"?" She asked. Everyone looked at each other, then they all replied with "Alright." They got back up to play the game...
In Archie HQ, Archie Man was lying on the floor as SatAM Man and The Nique kicked more shit outta him, they kicked him everywhere, in the stomach, in the back, in the penis, everywhere! "Take this!" *POW* SatAM Man put his foot into Archie Man's chest.
"YEAH! And this!" *BANG* Nique planted her foot into his ass.
"Have one of these!" *CRUNCH* SatAM Man kicked him in the testicles, making Archie Man scream with a high-pitched voice, like a little sissy.
Nique lowered her butt onto his face, she strained, making her face go all red "ANNNNND... One... of these... too!" *STINKY*
"Awwwwwwwwww! Sick I felt it on my face!" Archie Man waved his hands around his face, trying to get the stench away from him.
SatAM Man picked him up from the ground and threw him into a wall *SLAM*
Archie Man landed on the floor, he rolled into a ball crying "Owwwwwwwww, mommy!" SatAM Man and Nique watched this grown man cry. They looked at each other.
"Well my little sidekick, do you think his learnt his lesson yet?" SatAM Man asked her, she looked back at him a big smile on her face.
"No, not yet, we just need to do one more thing!"....
SatAM Man and The Nique left Archie HQ; SatAM Man had his arm around Nique's shoulder as they both laughed with delight, because within Archie HQ, they had tied Archie Man on a steel pole, completely naked, with "SATAM RULES!!!" Written all over him, Archie Man yelled at the two heroes "Hey! HEY! Ya can't leave me here like this! Do ya know what my boss will do to me if he sees me like this? HE'LL RAPE ME!!! LET ME GO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"...
SatAM Man and The Nique jumped into the SatAM Mobile. "After a long day of battling the evil Archie Man, you need to relax! Comeon Nique, let's get that Dr.Pepper I owe you!" He started the SatAM Mobile and looked at her.
"Yeah? What about the $241 you owe me?" She asked back.
"Errrrrrrr, you'll get that back, I promise!" As they drove off, he asked her, "Errrrrr, say Nique, can you lend me $2 for the Dr.Pepper?"...
Back at FUS, Alison and Ben Hurst walked into the main room, and saw the rest of the FUSers sitting down, while Mistress Ali was still read, well looking at her "Topless Snively Monthly" "Hey guys, what's happening?" Alison asked the others.
"Oh ya missed it! We had the greatest time! We played "Who can get the rubber band into the paper cup?" it was a blast!" Prime said to her with excitement.
"Yeah, AND Reese won completely stoned outta his fucking head too!" Koatix replied pointing to Reese, who was still mashed up.
"Uhhhhhhhhh-huh." Ben looked at Reese confused.
"Yeah! THEN we played "Who can get the button into the paper cup?" man!" Lena said.
"AND Reese won that too!" John shouted with excitement.
"Wellllll, errrrrr... it's a shame we missed it!" Alison said, glad at the thought.
"Oh, but we taped it to show you!" Tristan pulled out the tapes; he showed her the rubber band one first "This on last for almost 3 days! Thanks to me!" He showed off with a smile.
"Oh, errrrrr... Goody!" Alison didn't really want to watch it, but Tri had already put the tape in, so she and Ben took a seat...
They sat and watched the tape, when Ben suddenly started to think, he looked at Alison and said, "Ya know, I've got the strangest feeling that we forgot to do something..."
And back in Archie HQ, Sonic and the others were still hanging in the cage in the darkened building, and quite little voice echoed through the building "Heeeeeeeeeelp, Heeeeeeeeeelp us!".
THE END
SPECIAL THANKS:
Alison Scharlemann: For suggesting I put the original chapter, which was a mere joke between the two of us, up on FUS for the others to read, Which ultimately lead to my longest and my most favourite project.
The Fans of this Series: For enjoying this stuff so much, for bugging me for cameos and for more chapters and stories.
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