'David,' he says. 'I'm worried about your performance the last few
games.
'You've been hopeless, completely off form.'
'Sorry boss,' says David. 'I've not been myself lately. I've got a
few problems at home.'
'Oh dear,' says Ferguson, pretending to care. 'What's up? Posh and
Brooklyn ok?'
'Oh they're fine,' says David. 'Its just that somethings really
bugging me and I'm losing sleep and everything. I can't concentrate
on football and my heads really messed up.'
'Whatever's the matter, son?' asks Fergie.
'Well boss,' replies David, 'its pretty serious. Victoria bought
this jigsaw puzzle the other day and...'
'A jigsaw?!?!?!?' shouts Sir Alex. 'You're playing shite because of
a jigsaw?!?!?!?'
'Yeah boss, but you don't understand, its really doing my head
in!'says david. 'Its really hard, its this picture of a tiger and it >
looks
really easy on the box and I'm sure I've got all the bits and everything
but I just can't get it right and its doing my head in and...and...'
'David, David, David,' says Ferguson. 'You'd better get a grip son,
and fast!'
'OK boss,OK,' says David, 'but....its this picture of a tiger and it
looks really easy on the box and I'm sure I've got all the bits and
everything but I can't do it and its doing my head in
and.....and.....and its a tiger and it looks easy.....and I can't
make the bits fit and, its really hard, and er, sorry boss and, er,
its a tiger, er....on the box...er...sorry boss...'
'OK, OK, OK!' says Sir Alex, 'bring the jigsaw in and lets have a
look at it, it can't be that difficult.'
So the next day David brings the jigsaw into Ferguson's office.
'Here it is boss,' he says, showing Ferguson the picture on the box.
'Look boss, its this tiger, right, and its a really good picture and
everything but I just can't do it. And its really hard and its doing
my head in and its this picture here of a tiger,' and Beckham
empties all the pieces from the box all over Ferguson's desk.
Ferguson looks at what's on his desk, looks up with his head in his hands and says to Beckham....................
Wait for it.............
'David, put the ****ing Frosties back in the box.'
