Synopsis: The
Lotus Eaters: A series of short vignettes dealing with dreams and issues
of respect. "To deny one's own impulses
is to deny
what makes us human..."
Cypher proves
he's an ass (pre-unplugging); Neo's frighten and disgusted by his own humanity
(post-unplugging). Both vignettes
set during
the timeframe of the film.
About the title:
I hate titles. I'm teaching the Odyssey in a month or two and stole the
name from the chapter about the land of
the lotus
eaters (gotta love Homer.) A bunch of Odysseus' men eat the flower, fall
asleep, and have nice, pleasant dreams of
home. It's
a sad, sorry reference, but it's better than "untitled." Enjoy.
The Lotus Eaters
by
Scottishlass
Forbidden Bloom
"You've been drinking that shit again," commented Trinity as she washed the rest of her protein slop down the drain.
"So? Cleans
out the body." His glossy eyes clung to her frame as she continued to tidy
the mess hall. "You know, Trin, I think
he likes you."
"Shut up, Cypher."
"No really, I think he does."
"That's ridiculous.
He's a copper top," she replied softly, wishing that he'd leave her alone.
"He's seen me once. Sometimes,
Cypher, you
really distort things." She managed to finish her duties and almost escape
out the door before she heard his slurred
voice again.
"He dreams
about you, you know." Cypher hung in the doorway, blocking her path. She
tired to make her way past him, but he
held his drunken
form steady.
"Let me pass," she said quietly, hoping he wouldn't realize that she had become uncomfortable alone with him.
"Wild dreams..." His mouth twisted into a sneer.
"You don't know that. Can I go now?"
"Little do you know, Trinity. So little do you know. I've been watching him."
"So. So have I?"
"And he dreams."
Trinity stopped
trying to get past Cypher, and looked him in the eye. "You've been watching
him dream?" she asked in disgust.
That was completely
taboo.
"Oh, yeah. And the things he dreams, Trin. You know that night at the club?"
"Cypher, I'm warning you..."
"That night he met you. Went home and jerked off, thinking about you."
Trinity lowered her eyes, embarrassed for Neo, embarrassed for herself.
"Then," he
drawled on, "he fell asleep and dreamed about you. Dreamed that you tied
him up and shit. Fucked him 'till he
couldn't walk."
"Cypher, that's enough."
"Goddamn freak came in his sleep."
"That's enough!" Her hand whipped fast across his cheek. "You're a sick fuck, Cypher," she spat, pushing her way past him.
He touched his reddening cheek gingerly. "Just lettin' ya know," he called to her.
She stopped
in the hallway, and slowly turned around. "Fuck you," she said calmly,
and left Cypher giggling in the mess hall.
Honey'd Nectar
I watch as
she makes her way down the hallway, her red dress clinging to her hips
as she sashays to my side. "You've been so
lonely, cowboy,"
she drawls. "Now I'm here." She raises her eyebrow
seductively, her lips
part. "Let me take it all away."
The woman in
the red dress presses herself into me, her breasts bulging. My body thinks
for me and I want her. My heavy
eyelids close
as she wraps herself around me. The instant before we kiss I open my eyes
and the blonde is gone.
It's Trinity.
But I'm still
hungry, still needy. I grab her face and mash my mouth to hers; she doesn't
struggle. The woman in the red dress is
forgotten,
now it's all Trin and she melts beneath me as I explore her mouth with
my tongue. I grab her ass, firm and muscular;
my fingers
trace over the patent leather.
We end up against
the wall. I can't get enough, like a newborn at the breast. My eyes have
closed now and we're kissing in a
way that would
put horny teenagers to shame. Please stop, I tell myself. This
is Trinity. Your friend. But I can't stop...
And then I'm
outside of myself. Watching. Leave her alone, I shout to my other
self. He looks at me, smiles wickedly, and tugs
on the fly
of his pants.
With a scream of protest, I try to stop him. No, don't...please don't...
And then, thanks to the God I'd long forgotten, I wake up.
I'm shaking
and covered with sweat, painfully aware that I'm hard. This is the third
night in a row. Disgusted with myself, I try to
control the
nausea but can't. Again, I puke over the side of the bed.
Ok, Neo,
get a grip, I think, trying to rationalize that it's all just a nightmare.
The lines between dreaming and reality have been
so blurred
lately, however, that it doesn't really matter anymore what's real and
what's not.
I dream about her every night. Bad dreams. Fucking sick dreams.
And I think she knows it.
Trinity, my
angel Trinity, doesn't stay by my side anymore. She used to, you know.
I never saw her, but I always felt her
presence.
Calming, strong. And finally, after God-knows-how-long, I was able to push
back the pain and really sleep. When I'd
wake up, she'd
be there. Sitting, awake and in silence, watching me sleep.
She's gone now. I swear she knows my dream.
I wipe up the
puke with a dirty cloth; my cell stinks. I'm not shaking anymore, but I
still feel like shit. I could never hurt her. It
disgusts me
that I'd even have a thought like that about her.
Dreams are
often reflections of the inner mind. And it terrifies me that a part of
me would want her in that way. Because I really
do care about
her.
You're only
human, a side of me says. You do want her. To make love with her.
You want her to feel the same about you.
Remember,
to deny your own impulses is to deny the thing that makes you human. Plus,
it's only a fucking dream.
Nothing
more.
Exhausted,
I lay back down on my bunk. I feel like shit, like I defiled her, marred
her, raped her of her spirit. I am vile. Tears
form in my
eyes, stinging them.
And then I hear it. The slightest scrape of the door being opened, then shut. It's her.
"Neo..."
"Go away," I whisper. It came out angrier than I'd hoped.
"You had another nightmare."
"How'd you know?"
She doesn't say. Instead, she sits beside me and places her cool hand on my forehead. "You okay? You were sick again."
"I'm okay," I try to convince her. The residue of my dream is still in my mind and it sickens me.
"I'm worried about you," she whispers in her sweet, concerned voice.
I muster a smile. She is so beautiful. "They'll go away."
"You want to talk about them?"
"No," I say sharply. God forbid she ever find out.
"Okay," she
says. I silently thank her for not pressing the issue. "I'll be in my cabin
if you need me," she reassures me. "Try to
sleep."
She runs her
hand over the stubble of my hair, then slowly leans to my face to plant
a sweet kiss on my forehead. "Sweet
dreams, Neo,"
she murmurs in my ear before she stands to go.
I close my
eyes and try to look at peace. I know she stays at the door for a few moments
before she leaves. Longer than she
has to,
I think.
Again I'm left
alone in the deep darkness. But her presence lingers, enveloping me with
serenity. Thank you, Trinity. Thank
you. I
sigh and roll over, trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. I
play the moment over and over in my mind. Only in
my version,
I tell her that I love her. As I finally drift off to sleep, I remind myself
that one day I'm gonna have to tell her.
Then I'm dreaming
again. I'm back in that hallway, watching me and Trinity kiss. But before
I can scream again, we break the
kiss and simply
hug. I watch, intently, as we part and stare at each other. A smile plays
over her lips; she's going to say
something
to me. I strain to listen. She leans to my ear and she finally answers
my unspoken question. She loves me, too.
And then I'm
back in my body; I can feel her hand as it slips into mine. Her smile fills
me. We turn, and walk down the hallway.
Together.
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